Flashback3 years ago...There was an annoying sound of running water when my eyes fluttered open. The stench of alcohol mixed with the unbearable smell of urine entered my nostrils as soon as I managed to decipher what kind of place I was currently in. A fvcking men's bathroom. Specifically, inside one of the cubicles kung saan tadtad ng sulat at drawings ang bawat sulok. What the heck am I doing here?"Hoy ateng bading sa kabilang cubicle. Labas na dyan at napakahaba na ng pila sa labas," ani ng lalaki sa labas.Hold on. 'Bading'? That's when I realized.Nasa men's bathroom nga naman ako at nakasuot ng high heeled animal-printed boots, na obviously, kita sa labas. Hindi rin naman malayong i-assume ng iba na bakla ang nasa loob ng cubicle. Teka, since when did I own animal-printed boots? And what am I wearing?!Kulang na lang mag-bikini ako sa short-shorts na to. Napatakip na lang ako sa katawan ko nang mapansin kong exposed din pala ang aking chest area. Not again.Last time, I w
Sa isang unfamiliar matrimonial bed, pero astoundingly tapered to my taste, nagising ako, with the soothing warmth of my lover’s arms wrapped around me. His new scent is simply addicting, that I could fall asleep again and snuggle closer there for hours. Memories of the heated night before flooded back to me, and sent tingling sensations to my body. Nakakahiya mang aminin sa sarili pero I gave myself wholly to you for the first time in two years. Pero wala ako ni katiting na pagsisisi. You have waited long enough. Two years? Sapat na iyon para ipagkatiwala ko saiyo ang lahat ng akin. I have my best friend, Avaz to thank for her awesome advice na mag-book ng room sa Primal International Hotel for our 2nd Anniversary. Although sa una, I found it embarrassing. Hello? Ako, si Heather O’ Conn
Gulong-gulo ang utak, nagtatatakbo ako palabas, heedless of the fact that I just ripped into pieces a huge amount of money and thrown it into his perplexed face. Feeling disgraced and a total mess, and as if it isn’t enough torture, naka-receive pa ako ng tadtad na missed calls and text messages from my boyfriend, Iszak: "Call me back once you get this." "Why aren't you answering my calls??" "Babe where are you??" "It's past midnight for f*ck's sake!" “Heather, where the hell are you? Buong gabi mo akong pinaghintay sa Room 606! “ But I was at Room 909. Gulong-gulo ako. Yung tipong parang sasabog sa halo-halong emosyon na hindi ko ma-explain. I couldn’t reply to him. I couldn’t find the right words to tell him. There’s so way I can face the love of my life after the mess I’ve made. This is f*cked up. &n
Breakfast in bed. Over a cup of steaming black instant coffee, dagdag -almusal ko ang mas masamang balita. Trending sa internet: “AN ORDINARY OFFICE CLERK SLUT HAD A STEAMY ONE-NIGHT STAND WITH TOP-NOTCH CEO!” Kung ganito akong klase ng babae, I would have enjoyed the attention. But I am not a slut. Ano ba ang ginawa ko sa mga taong ito? Wala naman akong maalalang kaaway…at wala akong maraming kaibigan, to begin with. Avaz is my only friend, kung kaya’t di ko maubos maisip kung bakit magagawa niya ang panlilinlang na ito sa akin. That is, kung totoo man na siya ang may pakana nito. No phone calls nor messages from her until this very moment. Just when I needed a friend most. Should I make the first move and confront her? Hindi ako papayag just to let this slide. Karangalan ko ang sinisira ng kagaguhang ito. Usually, as a kid, pag may problema, takbuhan mo an
A month later, the smoke died down. Just like any trending show, nawalan ng interes sa istorya ng buhay ko ang mga netizens. Naglaho din ang mga callers, chatheads at reporters na nanggugulo sa buhay ko sa bawat galaw ko. Wala din naman silang mahihita sa akin eh. I have kept my mouth zipped and locked for so long. It worked. Itinuon ko ang oras ko sa trabaho. Kailangan kong yumaman. Yumaman is equated to yummy-man. Pero hindi ako ang tipo na maghahanap at aasa sa lalaki para magkamal ng pera. Ayokong bangungutin ng gising. Pero I have set high goals for myself. Gusto ko, time will come na pa travel-travel na lang ako. And one of my dreams is to visit the Louvre in Paris. At syempre, dapat lang naman na kasama ko ang man of my dreams... But the mirror is broken now. That man is gone....in just a flick of a finger. Alangan namang maglupasay pa ako over it. Di naman ako namatayan to mourn...Oo, nakapanghihinayang. But there are thi
"Heather...Heather...gising...laro tayo!" "Ayoko pa, antok na antok pa ako...tumakas tayo buong gabi, di ba?" "Oo nga eh. Ang saya sa labas eh. Ambait nung mama na nagbigay sa atin ng candy. Di pa ako nakakakain ng ganung klase ng kendi eh. Ulitin natin?" “Natatakot ako eh, baka kasi mahuli tayo...Ayoko nang lumuhod sa munggo o di kaya ay ikulong sa basement. Nakakatakot eh." "Okay lang yan. Kasama mo naman ako lagi eh...Halika na kasi...Tulad ng dating gawi..." “Ayoko na nga eh...” “Bahala ka! Ako na lang! Duwag! Duwag! Dito uli ako tutulay sabubungan...para lumabas ng bahay...aakyat na ako...habol, Heather, habol! Tip…tap...” “Baka mahulog ka diyan. Mahina na ang tinutungtungan mo. Bumaba ka na! Wag, Savarra!
Flashback3 years ago...There was an annoying sound of running water when my eyes fluttered open. The stench of alcohol mixed with the unbearable smell of urine entered my nostrils as soon as I managed to decipher what kind of place I was currently in. A fvcking men's bathroom. Specifically, inside one of the cubicles kung saan tadtad ng sulat at drawings ang bawat sulok. What the heck am I doing here?"Hoy ateng bading sa kabilang cubicle. Labas na dyan at napakahaba na ng pila sa labas," ani ng lalaki sa labas.Hold on. 'Bading'? That's when I realized.Nasa men's bathroom nga naman ako at nakasuot ng high heeled animal-printed boots, na obviously, kita sa labas. Hindi rin naman malayong i-assume ng iba na bakla ang nasa loob ng cubicle. Teka, since when did I own animal-printed boots? And what am I wearing?!Kulang na lang mag-bikini ako sa short-shorts na to. Napatakip na lang ako sa katawan ko nang mapansin kong exposed din pala ang aking chest area. Not again.Last time, I w
"NO!" I flinched at his sudden remark. Hindi naman nakakapanibago ang pagka-authoritarian ng isang ito, pero para sakin, isa lang siyang malaking damulag who loves to throw tantrums everytime he doesn't get what he wants. "You're not going anywhere unless I say so," he continued. "You got me into this mess, so you better fix it." "With all due respect, sir, what I'm doing now, is actually the solution to your problem." His displeased aura made him clench his teeth and tighten the muscles on the sides of his face, creating a visible view of his strong jawline. He, then, looked at me, deadeye. "You are pissing me off." Obvious ba? Duh, araw-araw ka naman yata pikon eh. "You call that a 'solution' to the problem??" He added. "Tingin mo, masosolusyunan mo ang mga problema just by running away?" I looked back at him with unsteady gazes. "Kung yun ang ikakagaan ng loob ng mga naperwisyo ko, why not?" "Listen, Ms. O'Connor," he breathed heavily. "I don't think you understand. I'm of
"Heather...Heather...gising...laro tayo!" "Ayoko pa, antok na antok pa ako...tumakas tayo buong gabi, di ba?" "Oo nga eh. Ang saya sa labas eh. Ambait nung mama na nagbigay sa atin ng candy. Di pa ako nakakakain ng ganung klase ng kendi eh. Ulitin natin?" “Natatakot ako eh, baka kasi mahuli tayo...Ayoko nang lumuhod sa munggo o di kaya ay ikulong sa basement. Nakakatakot eh." "Okay lang yan. Kasama mo naman ako lagi eh...Halika na kasi...Tulad ng dating gawi..." “Ayoko na nga eh...” “Bahala ka! Ako na lang! Duwag! Duwag! Dito uli ako tutulay sabubungan...para lumabas ng bahay...aakyat na ako...habol, Heather, habol! Tip…tap...” “Baka mahulog ka diyan. Mahina na ang tinutungtungan mo. Bumaba ka na! Wag, Savarra!
A month later, the smoke died down. Just like any trending show, nawalan ng interes sa istorya ng buhay ko ang mga netizens. Naglaho din ang mga callers, chatheads at reporters na nanggugulo sa buhay ko sa bawat galaw ko. Wala din naman silang mahihita sa akin eh. I have kept my mouth zipped and locked for so long. It worked. Itinuon ko ang oras ko sa trabaho. Kailangan kong yumaman. Yumaman is equated to yummy-man. Pero hindi ako ang tipo na maghahanap at aasa sa lalaki para magkamal ng pera. Ayokong bangungutin ng gising. Pero I have set high goals for myself. Gusto ko, time will come na pa travel-travel na lang ako. And one of my dreams is to visit the Louvre in Paris. At syempre, dapat lang naman na kasama ko ang man of my dreams... But the mirror is broken now. That man is gone....in just a flick of a finger. Alangan namang maglupasay pa ako over it. Di naman ako namatayan to mourn...Oo, nakapanghihinayang. But there are thi
Breakfast in bed. Over a cup of steaming black instant coffee, dagdag -almusal ko ang mas masamang balita. Trending sa internet: “AN ORDINARY OFFICE CLERK SLUT HAD A STEAMY ONE-NIGHT STAND WITH TOP-NOTCH CEO!” Kung ganito akong klase ng babae, I would have enjoyed the attention. But I am not a slut. Ano ba ang ginawa ko sa mga taong ito? Wala naman akong maalalang kaaway…at wala akong maraming kaibigan, to begin with. Avaz is my only friend, kung kaya’t di ko maubos maisip kung bakit magagawa niya ang panlilinlang na ito sa akin. That is, kung totoo man na siya ang may pakana nito. No phone calls nor messages from her until this very moment. Just when I needed a friend most. Should I make the first move and confront her? Hindi ako papayag just to let this slide. Karangalan ko ang sinisira ng kagaguhang ito. Usually, as a kid, pag may problema, takbuhan mo an
Gulong-gulo ang utak, nagtatatakbo ako palabas, heedless of the fact that I just ripped into pieces a huge amount of money and thrown it into his perplexed face. Feeling disgraced and a total mess, and as if it isn’t enough torture, naka-receive pa ako ng tadtad na missed calls and text messages from my boyfriend, Iszak: "Call me back once you get this." "Why aren't you answering my calls??" "Babe where are you??" "It's past midnight for f*ck's sake!" “Heather, where the hell are you? Buong gabi mo akong pinaghintay sa Room 606! “ But I was at Room 909. Gulong-gulo ako. Yung tipong parang sasabog sa halo-halong emosyon na hindi ko ma-explain. I couldn’t reply to him. I couldn’t find the right words to tell him. There’s so way I can face the love of my life after the mess I’ve made. This is f*cked up. &n
Sa isang unfamiliar matrimonial bed, pero astoundingly tapered to my taste, nagising ako, with the soothing warmth of my lover’s arms wrapped around me. His new scent is simply addicting, that I could fall asleep again and snuggle closer there for hours. Memories of the heated night before flooded back to me, and sent tingling sensations to my body. Nakakahiya mang aminin sa sarili pero I gave myself wholly to you for the first time in two years. Pero wala ako ni katiting na pagsisisi. You have waited long enough. Two years? Sapat na iyon para ipagkatiwala ko saiyo ang lahat ng akin. I have my best friend, Avaz to thank for her awesome advice na mag-book ng room sa Primal International Hotel for our 2nd Anniversary. Although sa una, I found it embarrassing. Hello? Ako, si Heather O’ Conn