Chapter 1

1 - Mia Lauren Hudson

I'm afraid of everything. I'm afraid of what I saw, of what I did, of who I am. More than anything, I'm afraid to leave this room and never again in my whole life, feel what I feel when I'm with you.

- Dirty Dancing

I was sitting in front of my bedroom window, admiring the white snow that accumulated across the road and around our house. The cold made me shiver and hide my face with a thin sheet, the only thing covering me at that moment. A snoring sound made me turn my head and admire the man sprawled across the mattress. I smiled to myself and sighed deeply as I turned my gaze back to the snow, which was now falling gently.

I had been married to Bradley Hudson for two years. I loved him. Even knowing that he didn't love me as much in return. But I understood that he had a demanding job, understood his stress, understood why he didn't show affection for me, and how our time together always ended in fights. I frowned at the change in my thoughts. It almost always ended that way. We would make love, he would sleep, and when he woke up, he would ignore me and lock himself in his office. This had repeated so often that it became routine. A sad routine for someone like me.

When I met Bradley, I had no idea he would be so difficult. I had no idea he was so different from what I imagined. We dated for only three months before getting married. And as much as I love him, I think I would reconsider now.

I was a 24-year-old woman, a married woman, and at the same time, lonely. I still considered myself a girl. A girl without the love she had always dreamed of, a love that would sweep her off her feet. But I had to be content with what I had. I had to be happy with the little that Bradley provided me. And when I say little, I don't mean money, because he had plenty of that. But if he were just a little easier to deal with, and gave me as much love as he wanted to shower me with jewels, everything would be so different...

Oh, my dear Bradley Hudson... My thoughts echoed his name sweetly as I placed the comforter over his body.

I knew many judged me for loving him, knew many judged me for accepting him in such a vague manner, for not giving me the attention that every wife deserved, but even so, with all his flaws, he was the one I chose. He was the only one I allowed to get close. And I couldn't regret that. I shouldn't regret that. Sooner or later, he would change, he would ask me how I was or how my day had been, or just hug me and say that I looked beautiful. Sooner or later, he would say some of these things. Or even more... Say that he loves me and make me believe it wasn't just empty words.

A ringing phone in the living room startled me and interrupted my thoughts. I opened my closet and grabbed any clothes that would keep me warm. I opened the bedroom doors and quickly walked across the living room. As I approached the phone, Mrs. Duart was already ready to answer it.

“I'll get it, Duart.” I smiled as I approached.

“Of course, Mrs. Hudson.’’ She nodded and left the room.

I watched our maid return to the kitchen and finally, I brought the phone to my ear.

“Hudson residence.” I answered, the way Bradley had forced me to learn.

“ I want to speak with Mia Lauren Hudson, is she available?” A masculine and somewhat professional voice echoed from the phone.

“Yes, that's me.” I frowned to myself. “Who's calling?”

“Hello, Mia.” That voice sounded cheerful. “We're from NewScene. We want to schedule a meeting.”

I felt my throat tighten and nervousness wash over me. It was NewScene!!! My God, how long had I been waiting for that call?! Controlling my breath and an unknown joy, I took a deep breath.

“Why?” Anxiety gnawed at me. But I could almost hear Bradley's voice forcing me to learn that curiosity and emotions were out of bounds in the workplace.  “I mean, have you accepted me?”

“Yes. Our producers found the perfect character for your profile, Mia. Congratulations.”

I can't believe it... I can't believe it. I smiled and walked quickly, almost skipping around the room.

“Thank you. And the meeting? When will it be?” I couldn't stop smiling.

“Today, at 5:00 PM.” He said.

And at that very moment, I lost my enthusiasm. It was a Sunday. And Bradley didn't allow me to go out on weekends. He only wanted me to stay home and enjoy the rest. I just didn't understand why he could, and I couldn't. Well, maybe he could make an exception this time. It was my dream that was about to come true. He would be happy for me. He would support me in this, wouldn't he? Well, I hoped.

 “Mia? Are you there?” The voice on the phone startled me again.

I had to stop getting distracted like that, I needed to stop being so startled. Bradley always said I was unprepared.

“Today. At 5:00 PM.” I agreed. “At the NewScene headquarters?”

"That's right." The man sounded cheerful. "We'll be waiting for you."

"Thank you." I hung up the phone.

My God!!! It was almost official. I was going to be an actress, I was going to star on the big screen for the whole world to see. The happiness in my chest was immense.

I remember when I told Bradley that my dream was to be an actress, he laughed derisively. But I also knew he didn’t want to give me hope in something I might not be good enough at. Bradley was also a film director and was opening a sponsorship with another film distributor and…

Then it dawned on me. What would Bradley think if his wife worked for a business rival? Oh, I hadn’t thought about that. I sat down on the couch and started biting my nails.

But he could avoid this, he could simply help me with my dream and get me a role in his world-famous films, my subconscious tried to help me.

No…

Bradley was right not to help me with my dream. He was much older and wiser than I was. He had control over all of this. I was just a dreamer…

But this was my dream, and dreams are essential, and no, I couldn’t be afraid of Bradley. He was my husband, not my owner. But, almost always, he played that role. Almost always, he made me feel so small…

I let out a long sigh and silently prayed that Bradley, at least once, would understand and believe in me. I prayed that his heart would open and that he would love me. Because it was hard to pretend, it was hard to show that I was so happy.

I needed love, real love. And if Bradley couldn’t give it to me, I would find it somewhere else.