2. Sixteen

In all the time I have spent knowing about werewolves, I amassed a lot of knowledge about mates too. A mate is a wolf's soul mate, his/her other half, without which they don't want to live.

When a wolf finds their mate, all they can ever think about is their mate. They stop being attracted to anyone else and slowly, but surely fall in love with the person the moon goddess designated them to be with.

There were still some who thought they could fight with the will of the goddess and they have affairs and cheat.

It was clear to me that the mate bond affected a wolf and a human differently. Whatever I felt for Harper, he feels more than that. The tingles that danced on my skin whenever we touched were more prominent for Harper than they were for me.

However different my response to the mate bond as a human may be, shouldn't I follow this basic rule? Shouldn't I be attracted to any other male besides my mate? I shouldn't get any steamy ideas about any other male besides my mate. That was what everyone back home told me too.

Then why was I attracted too much to Ethan? Why did my pulse race every time he looked straight into my eyes? How did I instantly become aware of his presence in the room or his eyes on me? Why was I so attuned to him when I already had a mate, even though we were already having problems right now? 

Was it because I wasn't yet marked by Harper? Because the mate bond between us wasn't yet completed? 

I didn't want to want him. I had enough trouble of my own. But my curiosity about him always won out in the end.

The dinner was fairly uneventful and as I lay on my bed, I recalled the way my eyes kept wandering on their own to Ethan. Not once did we make any contact, but my eyes always settled on him, for no apparent reason at all. If things go like this, he would think I was obsessed with him.

Questions kept raging inside my head. If only I could get the answers because I was sure my head was going to burst any second.

***

I was floating and falling.

Not being able to feel anything.

Darkness.

The feeling of the softest grass under my body.

Walking to the cliff.

Finding the white woman on the edge of the cliff.

I went through these feelings without actually feeling them. I had done this before. Been here before. And I knew that the beautiful white woman standing before me was none other than the moon goddess. The goddess the werewolves prayed to. 

I had no idea why she had started to appear in my dreams but whenever she appeared, nothing good happened. All the misery in my life was because of her. If she hadn't appeared in my dreams, I wouldn't have talked to Harper after he treated me like shit. We wouldn't have gotten together and I would be saved from all the hurt I had gone through these past few weeks.

The last time I met her she told me to force Natalie to keep the baby inside her because the baby would be the next alpha of the pack. Did she mean Harper and I would never have any kids of our own or did she mean that we won't be together after everything is over? I had no idea why she spoke in riddles. But she did and that drives me crazy all the time.

She smiled at me, which even now made me feel at peace. "Zara, I haven't seen you in so long."

"Well, I didn't miss you at all." I snapped and it was true. I wouldn't feel sad at all if I didn't dream about her.

"You're angry, I understand that." I didn't say anything. I crossed my arms across my chest and huffed angrily.

"But you also have questions."

My head snapped up to meet her silvery white eyes and my body trembled in anticipation. She knew she had me. She knew that there were several things I wanted to know. She knew as much as I hated her, I needed the answers to those questions.

"I do." 

She gently smiled and nodded. She knew she was going to have her way and the satisfaction showed on her face. It irritated me to no end.

"Go ahead. I'll answer as much as I can. I'll tell you as much as you are ready to know." 

I took a deep breath. "Why me?"

This is what I wanted to know first. Why was I mated to Harper? Why was I being graced by the moon goddess instead of the girl next door? If I was mated to Harper, why was I suffering so much?

I didn't need to say it all. She understood what I was asking. I waited for her to say something but she kept looking at me like she knew something I didn't. Hell, she probably did.

"Because you're strong. And I admire that."

"Strong? I'm not strong. Do you know I am miles away from my home because my mate is having a baby with my best friend? I couldn't handle that and ran as far away as I could, without killing myself or Harper. I ran away at the slightest trouble, that's not what a strong person does." I waved my hands dramatically, trying to make my point clear. 

"Your next question?"

She asked calmly and sat on the giant rock with such grace that I had to blink my eyes in shock.

"But you didn't answer my first." I gaped at her.

"I believe I did. I said I would answer your questions, not discuss them. And I did."

I clenched and unclenched my fists at her careless attitude. She was playing me and I was letting her. 

"Next question?"

I took a deep breath to control myself, lest I would jump on her and claw her face with my fingernails. Goddess be damned.

"Why am I attracted to Ethan?"

Might as well be straightforward if she was going to play this game.

I resisted the urge to cringe as the words came out of my mouth. It sounded as if I was accusing her but really, I was accusing myself.

The goddess just smiled and regarded me with a blank-faced stare. I stopped myself from fidgeting and faced her stare with my own.

"You are attracted to him because he is an attractive man." She replied and my jaw slacked. That was it? That was how she was going to answer my question.

"Ethan is a good man."

I waited for her to say something more but she kept perusing me with her piercing stare. A wave of anger coursed through my body. Why had she called me here if she wasn't ready to answer my questions?

"Will Harper and me ever complete the mating process?" Will I ever be able to forgive him, is what I wanted to ask. I was sure she would twist her answer in a way that would make understanding a simple question like this as hard as possible.

"I believe I told you that I would answer two of your questions." The goddess passed a pale, dainty hand in her flowing silver locks and regarded me with a cautious look.

"You didn't!" I snapped and fisted both my hands. She had early played me and I was furious. Beyond furious. I was seeing red.

"If you were going to be like this, why did you call me?"

"I thought you would like to listen to a story." She calmly stated.

Oh, hell no!

She thought I would want to listen to a story when she had just treated me like that. Like a pawn in her game.

I closed my eyes and concentrated all my energy on waking up.

"You can't get out unless I let you." My eyes snapped open and I glared at her. 

"Then let me go," I shouted at her but she showed no signs of irritation or impatience, which fueled my frustrations.

"Sit." One word. She just elicited one word. The command reverberated through my body and I sat down on the grass like a child. Obediently.

"Now, let me start from the beginning." She smiled kindly at me. A smile I had no intention of returning.

Then, she told me how werewolves originated in the world and I listened with rapt attention.