2. Eighteen

~ Harper’s POV ~

I have had enough. My wolf and I have had enough. We were beyond frustrated and feeling as helpless as we could ever be. It was as if I was being attacked by all directions and I didn't know which thug to boot first.

One, my mate had been gone God knows where for over two weeks. Two whole weeks. I had no contact with her whatsoever. It felt as if she had disappeared from the face of this planet. I had not set my eyes on her in so long that sometimes my wolf whined in my head at our loss and I wondered if what I and Zara had was real. Were we ever in a good place where we were not fighting? Even if we were, seeing her face, touching her, being with her felt right. It made everything alright. We had been together for roughly two months and I had fallen for her hard and fast. Could anyone blame me, though? She's the most amazing person, the prettiest girl, and the world's best seductress. She was mine and I lost her.

I get it now, you know, that Karma always gets you. Because mine was boring and continuously chewing on my ass. There was just no other way to describe it. My days of sleeping around were finally catching up to me and I was pretty sure there were a couple of people who were happy to see me like this. How could I have such bad luck? 

How the fuck did I end up having sex with my mate's best friend and make her pregnant? I mean, who does that? With Natalie? I wasn't even attracted to her and I knew she wasn't attracted to me too. 

It had been almost three weeks since I had seen her because I was still not able to digest the fact that she was carrying my baby! Not just any baby, but the future fucking alpha of this pack. No pressure, right? 

I was being a coward, there were no two ways about it. I hadn't seen the girl I had gotten pregnant for over two weeks because I was afraid, I would notice the subtle changes in her body. Changes because of the pregnancy. 

I needed to talk to her, though. I most my mate, yes but she lost her best friend. I had only known Zara for a few months but Natalie had known Zara her whole life. I had single-handedly destroyed years' worth of friendship with a single act.

An act I honestly don't even remember. Mind me, I wasn't saying this because I had slept with hundreds of girls and she was just another face. I was saying I didn't remember it because I didn't exactly remember it. How it happened, how it started, how the in the fucking world did we end up doing it? It was all a blank. Hell, I wasn't even that drunk at the time. All I was sure of was the fact that I had woken up the next morning, naked, with a very naked Natalie sleeping next to me and the smell of sex hung in the air.

Third and not least, I was stuck in the investigation of Elijah's murder. I had no fucking leads and I was going crazy. I keep wondering if my ineptitude is because of the other issues in my life, but what kind of alpha I would be if I didn't know how to sort out the thoughts in my head and be clear about priorities? A shitty one, without a doubt.

The sight of the murder had been imprinted on my mind because it was so horrific. I had never seen anything like that in my life and I had come across very cruel packs and rogues. I had no proof if the murder was caused by another pack or by a rogue but by the looks of it, the possibility of a rogue murdering like that was pretty high. But this was still a hunch. I was heading an investigation on a hunch because the approach of a murder done by rogues and packs would be different and I felt like I was in over my head here. 

Every time I wandered around the pack house, I came across Elijah's mate, who had lost so much weight that she looked emaciated. Her eyes looked haunted and her face looked gaunt. His family was barely hanging on by a thread and they were hopeful that I, their alpha, would bring some peace to Elijah's memory by convicting his murderer.

I was failing them and in turn, I was failing my whole pack. I had already failed them as I had driven away their true Luna away. Now, I was going to prove my incompetence to them. 

My gaze moved from the papers on my desk to my office. My office. I had always imagined myself sitting in my own alpha office with a big and proud smile on my face. But right now, I feel miserable, with no reason to feel proud. I was a big failure. I had failed as a mate and I was now failing as an alpha, something I had been training for my whole life. The stress I was under was putting my wolf under so much distress and I couldn't feel him when I called out to him.

I ran a frustrated hand through my hair and banged my head on the table as hard as I could. I had no idea if I wanted to hurt myself or if I wanted to see the woodwork break, but I couldn't deny the satisfaction I felt when I heard the wood crack beneath my palm.

I got up and lifted the table with a flick of my wrists and upended the table with a crash. The voice resonated in the small room. I took a deep breath and felt my shoulders relax. I felt the tension in my muscles loosened. Hell, it felt good. An amazing way to get rid of stress.

But I was done. Far from it.

I kicked the trashed table away from my way and stormed out of my office, with one destination in my mind. It was time I gave my father a visit.

My alpha had ordered me to not see him until I had figured out the mystery behind Elijah's murder. At the rate the investigation was going on, I would never see my father. I had a hunch my father was ignoring me and even wondered at one point if the murder was a silly joke planned by my father to ignore me but I had immediately shut down that thought process. I couldn't deflect my incompetencies on my father.

Plus, he had gone somewhere two weeks ago and had returned only two days ago. I hadn't seen him because I was so engrossed in pack work but I needed to see him. I was unstable, I knew that and I could only hope Father would calm me down and advise me what to do. Not as an alpha but as my father. Maybe it was too far-fetched but I could hope.

I walked down the hallways till I reached my father's office, which would be mine when I would become an alpha. To be an alpha, I would have to go through a ritual with my mate, the Luna of the pack. Alphas and their Lunas take over the pack as one, to show their love and that they are two parts of a soul, who pledge to take care of the pack with everything they have. 

If you had asked me a month ago, I would have said that I would become alpha in a couple of weeks, months at the latest. But now, having driven my mate away, I had no idea. I had no idea how long it would take for Zara to come around but I wanted to wait for her. I won't mate with anyone else to take over the pack.

My wolf whimpered as the thought of another Luna came into our minds. My body shook in revulsion. It was ironic because before accepting Zara as my mate, I was hell-bent on choosing Amanda as my Luna.

I took a deep breath and entered without knocking. It was a sign of disrespect for the alpha but I was too far gone to give a shit at the moment.

My father was sitting behind his desk, going over some paperwork. At my dramatic entrance, his eyes flew up and his eyes widened as he took me in. It looked like he had aged over these past few weeks and by the surprised expression he had on, I wasn't faring much better.

"I don't know what to do," I said. Even I could hear the helplessness in my voice. This, my friends, was a cry for hell. Any other day I would have called myself pathetic but not today.

His face softened and he closed the file he was going through. He got up with the lethal grace only an alpha could afford and walked around the table to stand in front of me. He put both of his hands on my shoulders and looked me in the eyes. The same green eyes I had inherited from him.

The green eyes Zara loved so much. My wolf whimpered and put his head between his paws at the thought.

"You are mates. You are destined to be together. I know times are tough right now. This push and pull will feel exhausting but you will end up with her. That's how mates work. Right now, she needs time. Give her that." I listened to my father speak and so did my wolf. "You messed up big time, Harper. Think about her, because that's what mates do. She has been through so much. From finding out that werewolves were real to you getting her best friend pregnant. That girl is strong."

I agreed with my father here. Zara was strong. "No, that person could have gone through so much and not gotten bonkers in the head. The moon goddess knew what she was doing when she mated you with Zara. Trust the moon goddess."

I agreed with my father again. No other human could have gone through so much mental exertion and still be breathing like she was. She was truly amazing and I was lucky to have her as my mate. Maybe the moon goddess did know what she was doing. Maybe all of this would end and we would be ok. 

I have often heard humans saying that the worst thing about them is that they hope. It leads to false expectations and then ultimately disappointment. Well, the worst thing any werewolf in my position could have been my heightened senses.

Just then my father's phone which was on the table rang and even though I was a few feet away, I could see the name of the caller. My heartbeat sped up because I could see that ZARA was calling my father.

My father was just asking me to give her space.