2. Fifty

I gathered my clothes as fast as I could, as well as all the necessities I couldn't live without. Everything else could wait.

I was trembling all over md on the verge of a panic attack. My lips were trembling, my eyes were moist and my shoulders were ready to have a good cry. But I knew I didn't have the time, even though that was all I wanted. 

My travel suitcase was laid open on my bed and I was haphazardly dropping my clothes and essentials into it. I didn't need to be a neat freak right now. I didn't need my clothes to be properly folded and sorted by color. What I wanted was an easy getaway, to get on the road as soon as possible. 

It had been ten days since I talked to Harper when I told him that I was not going back home. How ironic that I was frantically trying to wrap up my life here, to do just that, return to my hometown. 

When I emptied my closet into the travel suitcase, I took a deep breath and felt a rush of emotions in my body. I look around the room which has been my home for more than four months now and feel a sense of belonging and loss. 

My knees immediately felt weak and I collapsed on the bed. I cradled my head in my hands as tears rolled down my cheeks in frustration, helplessness, and anger. 

The door to my bedroom opened but I didn't look up to see who it was. I could only imagine what the person was seeing, me on the bed having a mental breakdown, while the room was a mess, with my belongings scattered around and placed in a very dysfunctional manner in the suitcase. I most definitely looked like a nut job.

Suddenly, two arms wrapped around me and I relaxed as Ethan's family's scent washed over me. It was peculiar how his presence comforted me. My shoulders shook as my breakdown continued. Ethan let me have my moment, he didn't try to demand any explanation or lament his worries about me, he just held me and rocked me like a little kid. I was embarrassed to say that it helped. If I wasn't careful enough, I would get addicted to these moments.

When he noticed me slowing down, he leaned back, cradled my head, and made me look him in the eye. "Zara, hey! What happened?" He sounded so worried I instantly felt guilty. 

"I can't stay here anymore." I cried helplessly, feeling another wave of tears but resisted the urge to break down again.

"W-what?" He asked, flummoxed and uneasy by my admission.

"I have to go back. I can't stay here." I made a move to get up from the bed and away from Ethan but he pulled me into his arms and hugged me tightly. I buried my face in his chest, inhaling his scent and driving some selfish comfort from it. 

"Zara, slow down. What happened?" He asked and I let myself believe for a moment that I could stay like this for however long I wanted.

"The moon goddess visited me in my dream last night." I cried, still not ready to divulge everything that I saw in my dreams and the information she had told me. "She told me I needed to go back to my hometown."

Ethan must have been surprised at my statement, otherwise I wouldn't have been able to pull away from him. I hastily wrapped my hair in my bun, ignored his presence, and went back to packing my stuff.

Ethan got a hold of me again and forced me to look him in the eye. "Zara, don't shut me out. Talk to me. Tell me what happened."

At Ethan's insistence, I forced myself to remember the terrible memories of the nightmare I had. I sat down on the bed and recounted how my dream had started and what exactly had happened in it. I told him how I saw the people I loved and cared for, die in front of my eyes, in brutal and painful ways. I told him how Sebastian had succumbed to the arrow he was shot by, how Natalie was repeatedly stabbed in her pregnant belly, how Aiden had his throat slit, and how Samantha was attacked by a wolf who had torn out her torso. I told him how I had got drenched in their blood, how I had watched as life drained from them and their bodies lay unmoving. I explained how helpless I had felt when I realized I couldn't do anything to help them get better or ease some of their pain. I told him how I could see them and feel them but they didn't seem to know that I was there.

Ethan listened and as I rambled about my dream, I watched his expressions change with each word. I hadn't even told him everything yet, but it was cathartic to tell him all that. He looked like a deer in headlights and if I wasn't so distressed, I would have laughed in his face. 

"That's not even the whole story. But the goddess told me that the pack was under a lot of stress and my presence there would see a lot of lives and also the lives of my loved ones. I can't stay here wondering if someone died because of me, I won't be able to live with myself if someone died because I prioritized my problems with Harper over somebody's life. The goddess may have put me in this position but she has been right every time she told me to do something. I may not like her, but I can't just sit by, while I let people I have known my whole life, die." I rambled, not knowing if I was putting my point there but feeling the need to get it over with as soon as possible.

Ethan stopped me again by grabbing my arm and I huffed in impatience. I had told him why I was in a hurry and he was still trying to slow me down. I turned around and arched my eyebrow in question.

"I'm coming with you," Ethan demanded and I blanched at his suggestion. I didn't know if I was supposed to laugh at him or melt in a puddle at his feet.

"What? No!" I snapped and jerked my arm away from his grip. 

He put both of his arms on my shoulders and forced me to listen to him. "Listen, Zara. You've already told me that your pack back home is under the threat of rogues and going there put you in danger. As the goddess said, you being there is important and as your friend and as your Batair, your safety is important to me. You are important to me. I can't let you go in a dangerous place, wondering how you are, when I'm supposed to be there to protect you. I'm supposed to protect you. Let me do my job. Please."

I immediately shook my head. No way, I wasn't going to let Ethan come with me. He may have been my Batair but like he said, if rogues were attacking the pack, I couldn't let him walk in danger because of little ol' me. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if something happened to him. I cared about him and didn't want him in harm's way, any more than the people I had watched die in my dream last night.

In a second, Ethan wrapped his arms around me and kissed me. I grew limp for a second but moved my lips against his as soon as I got my bearings. It was a slow kiss, a way to reassure me that everything was going to be alright and that he was going to be with me.

"I'm coming with you," Ethan whispered against my lips. "I'm not giving you a choice. You don't even have a car. How were you planning to drive back home? Even if you take a cab, I'll follow you in my car. There's no way you're leaving me behind."

I smiled softly at his determined gaze and nodded. "Go, pack what you need." Honestly, I knew somewhere in my mind that I needed Ethan to be near me when I finally faced everyone after all this time.

***

"She told me that the pack was under attack by a pack of ruthless rogues. Everyone was in danger and I needed to be there, unless people would die." I told Ethan. We had embarked on our journey back home and I was telling Ethan what the goddess had told me.

Ethan was driving as fast as he could but I could feel his tense posture. He was soon going to meet Harper; his white alpha and I didn't know what was going to happen. Hell, I didn't know what I would do once I came face to face with Harper. The prospect sounded so daunting and exhilarating at the same time. I wanted to see him and at the same time, I didn't. I didn't know what I would feel when I would finally set eyes on Harper. Would my feelings for Harper become more intense? Will things change between Ethan and me? The questions were plaguing my mind and there was no way I could placate my mind because I was too hyped.

We had been driving nonstop, without taking any stops or resting at a hotel. Ethan being a werewolf helped, while I just dozed off in the passenger seat. My brother and mom had called me several times when we had started the drive but I was reluctant to answer the call. I wanted to surprise them when I knocked on my house door and saw their faces. My phone had died last night during the drive, so I couldn't call them back even if I wanted to.

"The way she told me everything, I knew she wasn't joking. I knew that she had no ulterior motive behind her telling me that." I said, and I believed what I had said. Despite our questionable meetings in the past, this time I could feel it in my gut that the goddess was genuinely troubled and was trying to help me. 

"She told me that not only the werewolves but everyone in the town was in danger. Humans. And my mind immediately moved to my family. When I questioned her about it, she just gave me a sad smile and then I woke up. When I realized that my family was in danger, I freaked out. Everyone I have known and loved in my life is in that town and if I could save their lives by just being there, I was going to do it."

Ethan took my hand in his to give me comfort and I released a deep breath at the contact. I was glad of my decision to let him come with me. Not that it was my choice or anything. I somehow derived strength from the fact that he was with me.

When we reached the outskirts of the town, we were stopped by two huge men and I immediately knew that these men were part of the pack patrol. I grew anxious when I realized that I was now in pack borders. They must have sensed the presence of Ethan, a rogue wolf in the car and stopped it as a security measure.

When the guards recognized who I was, they let us go without a word, their expressions tough. I thanked them and Ethan followed my instructions to the pack house. I first wanted to meet with Sebastian and tell another piece of information the goddess had told me, which was for his ears only. That was why I was going to meet him first and then drive over to my place.

Nostalgia washed over me as I watched the streets, I had grown up in. Anxiety was rearing its ugly head again as we got closer to the pack house. My brain had shut down and was making me feel numb. My body was acting on a need-to-do basis now.

I shakily got out of Ethan's car when I finally parked outside the huge mansion, Harper and a lot of other pack members called home. Ethan followed my lead and I entered the house.

The house looked empty and my gaze whipped around to get hold of anyone who could direct me to the pack's alpha.

Suddenly, howls rang into the air and the noise startled me for a second. I took a deep breath to shake off my anxiety and fear. I walked in the direction of the noise, which seemed to be coming from the pack grounds, where the pack must have been gathered for a pack meeting or something.

I barely registered that Ethan was following me when I opened the glass doors to the pack grounds. The presence of the whole pack in one place flooded through me. I knew they hadn't noticed me yet, but it was only a short time before someone caught my scent.

My gaze moved onto the stage which had been prepared, where everyone was facing. I was wrong, it wasn't a pack meeting.

"Is this the ...?" Ethan asked, dumbfounded.

"Yes. The alpha ceremony." I whispered as I remembered Harper had told me about the ceremony which would finally make him the alpha of the Red Lakes pack, and me his Luna.

Except, it wasn't me who was standing beside him on the stage, mixing his blood with hers. It was Natalie.