Chapter 14

"Love, okay lang ba tayo?"

Third year college na ako ngayon, and same goes with Sebastian, but my problem between my family is still the same.

What do I expect?

I'm walking towards my building, when I saw Sebastian leaning on the wall near the Engineering building. Balak ko sana siyang iwasan, na namana, but he already caught my hand. 

I looked at him and nodded my head, "Yeah, why?"

He remain silent, until he handed me a box. Taka ko iyon tinignan, before my gaze went up to look at Sebastian.

"What's this? Para saan ito?" I asked and ngumiti siya ng mapait sa akin.

Tumawa siya ng mapakla, "Today is our 1st anniversary, love, at nakalimutan mo iyon."

What? "I-I'm sorry, I forgot," I tried to hug him but he stepped backwards.

"Akala mo hindi ko napapansin, Chelsy, na sa tuwing nagkikita tayo iniiwasan mo ako. Nag bago ka simula noong umalis ka sa bahay ko," pinatitigan niya ako sa mata, "ano bang problema, mahal? Inintindi kita ng isang tao. Inintindi ko na hindi tayo maaaring magkita noong nakaraang taon, pero ano bang nangyayari? Sabihan mo naman ako o, para hindi ako nag mumukhang tanga dito," he looked so frustrated while he's telling me those things.

Nag baba ako ng tingin," Seb, I'm sorry," that's all I can say.

"Stop saying sorry, and explain to me! Ano bang mali? Palagi mong sinasabi na everything is okay, whrn it's not," he hissed, and my gaze went up to look at him.

Nararamdaman kong bumabagsak ang mga luha ko galing sa mata ko. I can already feel the stare of the people around us, but I don't care.

"Wala, wala namang problema Sebastian. I'm fine. Everything is okay," alam ko kung gaano kahalata na ang pag sisinungaling ko, but I don't care.

Hindi ko kayang sabihin kay Sebastian ang totoo. I'm a strong woman. I can face anyone. I can stand on my own feet and defend myself. But when it comes to Sebastian, pag siya na ang pinag uusapan, I became weak.

He was about to say something, when I already turn my back against him and walked inside the building.

"Chelsy," Carla opened her arms for me to hug her, as soon as I entered the building.

Kasama ko sila kanina, pero pinauna ko sila makapasok, and they're still here waiting for me. Agad akong nag lakad palapit kay Carla and hugged her really tight.

"Hush now Chels, hmm," malumanay na sabi ni Gertrude habang hinahagod ang likod ko.

I wiped my tears away, before looking at them, "Bakit ganon? I badly want to say it, pero pakiramdam ko dinadaga ako," I held Gertrude's shoulder, "I'm strong, and I can tell everyone what's on my mind, pero bakit pag dating sa kanya, nanghihina ako?"

Gertrude pulled me so she can hug me, "Because you love him. Nagiging mahina tayo, pag ang mahal na natin ang pinag uusapan. Gusto natin, na tayo nalang mahirapan. Tayo nalang ang masaktan, huwag kang ang taong mahal natin."

Every time Sebastian and I would see each other in the University, palagi ko siyang iniiwasan and my friends will be the one to explain to him.

"Hanggang kelan mo ba siya iiwasan?" One time, Carla asked me while we're here outside the main building.

I shrugged, "I honestly don't know."

"Chelsy, hindi mo pwedeng takbuhan palagi nag problema. Kailanga mo rin harapin---"

I cut Gertrude off, "I know, okay? Alam ko! I just don't know how and when!"

Bumntong hininga si Carla and held my hands, "Chelsy, huminahon ka."

Inalis ko ang kamay ko sa pagkakahawak niya ay ginulo ang buhok ko, "I'm so confused! Dumating ako sa point ng buhay, when I don't know what to do."

That day, I went home with a confused mind. Latang gulay akong nag lalakad paaakyat sa kwarto ko, when suddenly someone held my hand and pulled me inside the room.

"Ano na naman ba?" Naiiyak ko ng tanong. I'm not crying because I'm scared. I'm crying, because I'm tired as hell.

"You deserve to die bitch!" Eloira hissed and I saw her holding a knife and a gun.

I looked at her in the eyes, "Just kill me! Just fucking kill me! I'm so tired! I'm so fucking tired!" Inagaw ko sa kanya ang kutsilyo na hawak ko at dinala iyon sa palapulsuhan ko, "bullshit life!" and I started to cut myself.

Ilang ulit kong sinusugatan ang sarili ko. I can clearly see how my blood fell on the ground. Umiiyak ako, not because I'm hurt but because I'm tired as fuck. I feel so numb. I can't feel anything. Dapat nasasaktan ako sa ginagawa ko, pero mukhang natutuwa pa ako eh. 

And everything went black

When I opened my eyes, all I can see is white. Hinilot ko pa ang sentido ko, while I'm trying my best to seat down. I looked around, at doon ko napagtanto na nasa hospital ako.

"Anak!"

I looked at my side, and I saw tita. She immediately wen towards me, and held my hand.

"Please, don't do that again okay," she's crying while she's talking to me, "hindi ko kakayanin kung pati ikaw mawala sa akin, anak."

I burst into tears and hugged tita so tight. Hinahagod niya ang likod while she's shushing me.

"Tita I'm sorry. I'm just tired. I'm really really tired. I don't know what to do. I just want to finish everything," umiiyak kong sabi while my face is burried on her shoulder.

"I know honey, I know. I'm sorry mahina si tita," I heard tita said, and I can feel that she's also crying.

Kumalas lang kami sa yakap, when we heard the door being open. Sabay kami ni tita tumingin sa pintuan, and I saw the doctor together with his nurse. Yung ama ni Sebastian, ulit ang doctor ko.

"How are you feeling, Chelsy?" He asked while he's checking my IV.

"I feel, okay?" Unsure kong sagot and the doctor faced the nurse and said something.

He held my arms gently at doon ko lang nakita na may benda ang palapulsuhan ko. Where I cut myself. This time, nakaramdam ako ng sakit, nang itaas ng doctor ang braso ko. 

The doctor faced tita, "As much as possible, ilayo niyo po sa kanya ang lahat ng pointed objects sa bahay," then his gaze went to me and back to tita, "I suggest that you should go to a psychologist, para matignan pa siya." 

I saw how tita nodded her head immediately, "Yes, I already contacted our family psychologist," tita looked at me for a second, "we will visit her clinic, once na discharge na si Chelsy dito." 

Tumango yung doctor and looked at me, "My son badly wants to see you." 

I gulped and breathe a large amount of air, "H-he's here?" 

The docotr shook his head, "No. I didn't told him that you're here, again." 

I bit my lower lip and nodded my head, "Okay," that's all I can say. 

Doctor Monteferrante put his hands inside the pocket of his coat, "Excuse me, I just need to do some rounds," paalam niya, but before he could went outside my room, he looked at me again. 

"You should talk to my son, Chelsy. He's willing to do and risk everything for you. He's even more willing to break my rules, just to get you," with that ay umalid na siya ng tuluyan. 

I looked at tita, and she went back to sit beside me again, "Anak, pagkalabas na pagkalabas mo dito, pupuntahan natin si Doctor Sandoval. I already set an appointment, at iintayin niya tayo," she told me and held my hand. 

Two weeks akong naka confine dito sa hospital. Within those weeks, my dad didn't care to visit me. Sila Gertrude, paminsan minsan bumibisita. While si Sebastian, bumisita isang beses. 

"Sebastian?" Gulat kong sabi when I saw him entered my room. 

He stopped for a while to look at me from head to toe. Nag tagal ang tingin niya sa palapulsuhan ko, before he walked towards my direction. 

"I will just stay outside," paalam ni tita and she went outside. 

As soon as tita went outside, walang nag salita sa amin. Nanaig ang katahimikan sa amin dalawa, hanggang sa tumikhim si Sebastian. 

"Love?" Tawag niya sa akin, and I immediately faced him. 

He sat beside me and held my hand, bahagya pa niyang hinimas ang palapulsuhan ko. He's not saying anything, but he continued caressing my wrist while looking seriously. 

"Sebastian," I called him and I felt him stiffened before his gaze went uo to look at me. 

I bit my lower lip, fighting the urge to cry in front of him, but I failed. Nalaman ko nalang na umiiyak na pala ako, when he dried my tears away with his thumb. 

"Hush now, baby. I'm already here," he whispered before planting a soft kiss on my forehead. 

Niyakap ko siya ng mahigpit and burried my face on his neck, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry I'm hurting you. You don't deserve someone like me who is weak. You dont deserve---" 

He cut me off by giving me a soft kiss on my lips. Hindi ako nakapag salita sa gulat, while I'm looking at him. 

"Baby, hush now. I'm already here. I will not leave your side. Aalis lang ako, pag sinabi mo sa akin na ayaw mo na sa akin," he whispered again while kissing the tip of my head repeatedly. 

"I love you, okay?" Umiiyak ko pa ring sabi. 

He held my face and kissed me again on my lips, "I love you too." 

"So far, Mrs. Makinano kailangan po natin bantayan si Lyric, so she will not do this things again," sabi ng psychologist kay tita. 

Then she looked at me, "Is this your first time to do this things?" 

I bit my lower lip and nodded my head. She nodded her head before facing tita again. 

"We just need to watch over Lyric," the psychologist said.

Nag usap pa saglit silang dalawa ni tita, before we went outside to go home. 

"Are you hungry?" Tita asked while we're walking towards the parking lot. 

I smiled, "Sakto lang po." 

Tita put her hands around my shoulders, "Lets eat." 

We decided to eat our snacks here in French Baker. Nag take out lang kami ng pagkain para kanila dad, before we went home. 

"Oh, buhay ka pa pala," bungad ni Eloira pagkapasok na pagkapasok namin ni tita sa bahay. 

I tsked and I just went upstairs to go to my room. Simula kasi ng ma confine ako, hindi pa ako umuuwi. Ngayon palang ako umuwi. 

Dinner time came, at doon lang ako lumabas ng kwarto. I'm wearing my yellow cotton night dress. Pagkaapak na pagkaapak ko palang sa mismong first floor ng bahay, nakaramadam na ako ng kakaiba. 

Dumagdag pa, when I saw the Chua's inside the dining area. 

"My daughter is here," masayang sabi ni dad as soon as he saw me. 

"What are they doing here, again?" I emphasise the word again. 

"Lyric, you disgraceful kid. Nakakahiya ka," mariin na sabi ni dad at nag lakas loob akong harapin siya. 

"Me? Disgraceful?" Natawa ako ng sarkastiko, "baka ikaw?"

Kitang kita ko kung paano nagalit si dad sa akin, but he manage to stay calm for the guest. 

"You will be staying at the same house with Mason," anunsyo ni dad at handa na sana akong umapila nang dagdagan niya ito, "and I will not take no ad an answer Lyric, or you can just decline and something bad will happen to your l ovely boyfriend," tinignan ako ni dad nnag may ngisi sa mukha niya, "do you want that, honey?" 

Bullshit! Fuck you! You should die! Old hag! You son of a bitch! Putangina ka! May araw ka rin! 

Iyan ang mga salitang gusto kong sabihin ng harap harapan sa kanya. I really want to say those words. I don't want people controlling me, as if I'm their robot or dog. Pero para kay Sebastian.......... 

"Okay. When's the wedding?"