47. Winter Bear

Narrator:

"Victor? You are still awake? Why are you still up? Sejin will have our heads if we don't get proper sleep now. He won't let us take a single nap tomorrow. What are you doing?" Jake asked as he stumbled into the kitchen in search of water, only to find the younger sitting on a stool, his head resting on his hands in the counter, still in his pajamas with tousled hairs.

Victor looked at Seokjin, his eyes heavy with sleep, but he placed on his signature boxy grin.

"I know. I had gone to bed. Just... had a nightmare."

Jake, now finally drinking his so long searched water, knitted his eyebrows in confusion. "Nightmare? What kind of nightmare was it to have you out of bed when you look like you could doze of any second now?"

Victor's boxy grin disappeared as he stared down at his hands, his expression stoic as he swallowed the bile in his throat.

"Of Cilia."

Jake halted midway, the bottle still in his hands as he registered the youngers words. Slowly, his face fell, but he still spoke.

"What did you see?"

Victor didn't reply for a very long time, staring at his hands intently before finally speaking, his voice raspy as if he had been holding back incoming tears.

"The same thing as everytime. I'm back in the graveyard. She's there. She's smiling but crying at the same time. She's giving me goodbye, but it's not the same. Not what actually happened."

Jake stared at Victor, his heart hammering in his chest as he registered the youngers words. "What happens then?"

"She's screaming, crying, begging me to save her. To stop whatever it was from taking her. But the more I try, the more I try to get closer, she's always one step forward and I'm always one step late." Victor yanked a fistful of his hairs, frustration written in his face.

Jake remained stoic, but the confusion lingered in his eyes as he said, "But-but that's not what happened right? Jason took her away. He said he was a Grim Reaper and he was helping her walk to the after life. He wouldn't hurt her right?"

"Exactly." Victor replied, looking up at his brother. "That's exactly what scares me. It's as if...as if...something is...happening. And I can't help but feel scared."

Victor lowered his head again, hiding his face from the elder. Jake didn't say anything for a very long time, before walking towards Victor and rubbing his back soothingly.

"It was a nightmare. It was just a bad dream. We know it's not real. We know she is fine." Jake whispered. Victor looked up at his brother, the desparate look in his eyes saying he wanted to argue back, but thought the better of it and just nodded instead.

"Yeah. I guess you are right."

Jake nodded. "Hmm. Off you go then. We have a big day tomorrow."

----------

That was thirteen minutes ago, when Cilia had stumbled into their dorm in order to check up on them after leaving Alex secure in home.

At first, Fiction had insisted they take him with them, saying they would calm him. And Alex seemed like he wanted to be with them for a while and anywhere but with Cilia. He was still guilty for trying to kill her which she had long forgiven. If she wanted his help, she might as well make up with him.

After his session  with Fiction, Julia fetched Alex and brought him home, saying a good bath and a peaceful nap was what he needed. Cilia wasn't there all along, for she had to check up on her boys too.

But what she found once she got there was not what she expected. The whole room was dark, safe for a kitchen lamp that was lit, and there sat Victor, his head resting on his hands.

A while later, Jake came, and Cilia learnt about the terrible nightmare.

"Sleep now. It's going to be okay. Sleep." She said, silent tears cascading down her cheeks as she removed unwanted bangs from Victor's forehead, sitting beside him as the boy lay in his bed, trying his best to fall asleep again.

Cilia had no idea how they knew about her, how they still remembered her. Whatever it was, she was glad that they still did, although a part of her feared what it meant. It hurt her to see that they could not hear her, nor see her, but the fact that they still knew she existed, and that she was not forgotten by the only people she loved in this world was a sort of peace to her.

But right now, Cilia didn't know what else to do but cry her heart out silently, knowing that Victor was being haunted by Lucifer, making him scared. Cilia knew that in time, it would start happening with all of them, a reminder to them as to what fate their Guardian had.

And there was nothing Cilia could do about it.

"I will do anything in my power to protect you guys, I promise." She said between tears, Victor's  hairs flat out of his forehead, the tiny scar in his cheek bone visible.

"I will sing you a lullaby. It will help you sleep."

The room was eerily quiet, save for the steady breathing of Victor. Slowly Cilia begin, her throat tight from the incoming tears.

"He looks like a blue parrot...would you come fly to me...I want some good day good day good day... good day good day...looks like a winter bear...you sleep so happily...I wish you goodnight goodnight goodnight...goodnight goodnight."

The tears streamed out freely, and she didn't bothering wiping them away. He could not see her anyway, so she just stayed like that, Victor her only company.

"Imagine your face say hello to me...then all the bad days they're nothing to me...with you hu hu hu hu hu hu...Winter Bear."

Victor's slight snore escaped indicating that he was asleep, but Cilia went on anyway.

"Hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm hmm...sleep like a Winter Bear..."

At last she stopped, wiping away her wet cheeks as she slowly stood up, the bed creeking underneath her unintentionally. Cilia bit her lower lip, crimson contrasting with her pale skin as her heart beat frantically, wondering if she woke him up.

When Victor remained motionless, Cilia released the breath she didn't know she was holding before whispering,

"Goodnight, my love. You won't have any nightmares tonight."

So saying, she placed a soft wet kiss on his forehead, before she slipped out of the room through the wall, scared to open the door incase it woke him up.

In a heart beat, Cilia was off, but the boy in bed still felt her presence, a single tear rolling down from his eyes and towards his ears.

-------------

I stood outside Alex's bedroom door, my hand suspended in the air in a fist. I wanted to knock, I wanted to get inside, but I had no idea how Alex would take it. Would he be as crazy and idiotic as the first time I barged in? Would he be angry and scream at me to leave? Or would he just avoid me, fearing what I would do to him?

Tan nudged my shoulder with his head, making me turn and look at him. Sometimes I forgot that Tan was almost my height, with his gigantic size and all.

He looked at me with his doe eyes as if asking me what's taking me so long. I shrugged in response, but still didn't make an effort to knock.

"Screw this." I muttered, before barging into the room, not bothering to knock anymore.

Once inside, I found Alex in his bed, not asleep, instead he was reading a book. He looked up at me, his face registering surprise, while mine remained stoic, although a thousand emotions were running in my head.

We stared at each other, not really knowing how to break the ice. I wasn't expecting Alex to do it, considering I was the one who barged in. So just when I'm about to speak up, Alex does.

"I see you still don't know how to knock."

"I told you this is my house."

"But this is my room."

"It's still my house."

"Even if this is a male's room?"

"Should that change anything?"

Alex didn't say anything after that as we both stared at each other. At last, he bursted into laughter, which I was least expecting. I didn't know what to do, so I joined him in, laughing with Alex for the first time.

When our laughing finally subsided, Alex patted the spot beside him in the bed, asking me to sit. I walked forward, Tan following behind me. It was only then did I notice the large bear curled up in a corner in a rug, sleeping like a cat would.

Immediately, Tan walked away from me, before approaching the bear.

"I'm assuming he is your Avatar?" I asked, the two of us watching as Tan growled playfully at the bear, who woke up from his slumber and licked Tans face. I couldn't help but giggle.

"Yeah... it is. They seem to like each other." Alex replied, putting his book down.

"More like they already knew each other. What are you reading?" I asked, taking a seat in the bed.

Alex shrugged, showing me the book. "I found it in the Library. Does It Ever End. Did you read it?"

"Nope. Not yet? Is it interesting?"

"It is actually. It's a lot of mystery. Two sisters get kidnapped by a family of seriel killers. The sisters almost escape, but they return back to their captors once they realize their parents are held captive as well." Alex explained, his words slowly tuning out at the last sentence.

I didn't say anything, just stared at the book cover as millions of thoughts ran in my head. Alex played with the edges of the book, not looking at me as he murmured.

"I don't get it...why would  they come back for their parents when they were granted with freedom?"

"Because they loved them." I said, making Alex look at me.

"Huh?"

"They loved their parents. And their parents loved them as well. Just like the single mom at the cafe. Her child was thought of as a nuisense to the world, but to her, he was nothing but her son, her angel, her light, her saviour. You see Sehul, I just realized it then, not all parents are like our parents. Not all parents abandon their kids or try to kill them."

Alex stiffened at my last words, recalling the time I had told him my mother had killed me, and that's how I died. I knew he was still feeling guilty over the fact that he tried to kill me even after knowing all the harshness I had gone through in my life.

'Cilia... I-'

"That was not you, Alex. You don't have to apologize again. The dark energy in your power was starting to take control of you. The real you shut down the moment I freed Sav7. You almost let the dark side take over you until Fiction had to come save your ass." I said all of it in such a swift way as if it didn't bother me the least bit. But actually, it did to me ten fold.

"You could have become a demon." I whispered, swallowing the bile in my throat.

Alex didn't say anything for a long time, clearing the creases in his bedsheets. Finally, he looked at me.

"I'm going to help you."

"Beg your pardon?"

"I'm going to help you in whatever mission of yours this is. You saved my life not once, but twice. I owe you big time. You don't have to tell me what it is, I'll help you nonetheless."

I stared at Alex, my heart beating frantically at the thought of facing Lucifer with him. Lucifer was getting closer in time, so close that he was even able to invade Victor's dreams. I had to act fast. But I was scared of keeping Alex in the dark.

I snorted, trying to prove that his words didn't affect me the least bit. "You don't have to promise any such thing. We already had this deal when I made you immortal. Stop fretting so."

"I could have betrayed you if I wanted, but now I won't."

"You can't betray me. I would know if you could."

"Then how come you be so blind when I told you I was Sav7's Guardian and not Fiction's?"

My cheeks flushed red in embarrassment. "I didn't bother back then. But now I know better."

Alex smirked, relishing in his victory. "Don't bother. I don't plan on betraying you anymore."

"You don't?"

"No. I promise."

Silence. The two of us stared at our avatars, two large animals curled up in one tiny rug, snoring peacefully.

"What's his name?" I asked, still looking at the sleeping animals.

"Kai."

"Kai?"

"Hmm. Kai. Jenna has a dog named Kai. I think they will be really good friends if they met. So I named him Kai."

I couldn't help but tense up at this. We both named our avatars after the pets of the idols we protect. Would he know? That I named Tan after Tin, Victor's dog? Would he know that that's Victor King of Heathens's dog's name?

By the looks on his face, it seemed like he didn't, for he didn't ask me anything. Instead, he continued.

"Before I met Kai, I felt like I was missing a part of me. As if something seemed lost in me. But when he showed up, I felt that empty spot fill. I had Fiction, but even that didn't seem to fill what Kai filled for me. I guess that's how you felt after you found Tan."

I nodded, not saying anything in return. Alex suddenly frowned, rubbing his chin with his fingers. "So does every Guardian have an avatar?"

This time, I frowned too, wondering the same thing. "Dunno. I don't think so. Julia didn't say me anything about past Guardian's having avatars. She was really startled to see Tan when he first came."

Alex nodded, not really knowing what to say. So I took it to myself again.

"So what did you see in that child?"

"What child?"

"Zain. The single mom's son. You saw his future, didn't you?" I asked with a raised eyebrow.

Alex nodded and sighed, rubbing his temple. "Yes, I saw a vision of his future. That never happened to me before, I never experienced anything such. It was...odd."

I sighed as well, watching my fingers as the light of Heaven danced between them, swirling from finger to finger. "I saw one too. She was an unborn child. I saw her when I went to save a pregbant lady from her drunkard husband."

Alex only nodded, but I knew what he was thinking, for I was thinking the same. Why on earth were we having visions of children and their future?

After a long while, he asked the most shocking question I ever expected.

"So... are we friends?"

I visibly stiffened, my eyes bulging at his words as I looked at him, a shy smile in his face. I was wondering, if that's how Jason felt when  I asked him to be friends. Am I turning out to be like Jason? Am I becoming like a Grim Reaper!?

Slowly, I relaxed,but Alex didn't know that because just then, he started backing away.

"Y-you don't have to...I-"

"Would it hurt to ask if I wanted to be best friends?"

This time, it was Alex who was shocked, his eyes bulging before he finally relaxed, letting out a chuckle. I laughed, finding  it funny to see the tough Alex all shy and blushy.

"You changed your hair color." I commented, staring, no- glaring at his now purple hairs.

'I told you blond doesn't suit me! Purple does! It's the color of my powers!'

"That was Silver! Not blond you dimwit!"

"Excuse me? Whose a dimwit here?"

"Isn't that not obvious? Who else had his head frozen and turned to silver here? Not me, you!"

"You!"

And just like that, Alex and I begin our bickering, as the boy lunged at me, but I jumped out of the bed, almost tumbling on our avatars. But that didn't stop them from waking, as one by one, they took their masters side, and the whole night the battle went on, the morning's encounters and that with Heathens a distant memory for the time being.