The clock over the mirror shows it's already been three hours since I got into the tub. There's just something about taking a bath while looking out at the sea and reading a book that makes me want to do it forever.
I take the last drag of my cigarette and stub it in the ashtray next to the tub. I place the book beside it on the small table before I groan and hoist myself out of the tub.
As I step out of the bathroom and into my bedroom in my bathrobe and a towel turban on my head, I hear my father's laughter echoing from downstairs. The other male voice I hear is the chef, who probably just finished for the day.
I blow dry my hair as fast as I can before I quickly comb through it and rush out of my room towards the stairs. I need to get him in a good mood before my brother comes home and starts cracking bad jokes.
My father is sitting at the bar with the chef, laughing and speaking Italian. "Good evening, welcome home." I smile, placing a hand on his shoulder.
"My daughter is happy to see me home, I wonder why." He says, switching to English and placing a hand around my waist.
"How was your trip?"
He cocks his head. "What do you need, Valentina?"
He knows I would never ask about his work, mainly because I don't care.
"Raisa and I are going out with the Barone boys to Taormina tonight. I need some money."
He squints at me. "When will you be back?"
I shrug. "Tomorrow morning, probably."
He sighs and looks over at the chef, shaking his head. "I'll send some later. When do you leave?"
"In two hours." I press a kiss to his cheek. "Thank you, you're the best!"
In hindsight, thinking that I could get ready in two hours including distractions was a mistake.
Vinnie Barone: just left ours, be there in 10
Great.
The Barone family has been vacationing in Capo d'Orlando before we started going there, and even though they're Sicilian, the kids go to the same boarding school in New York as my brother and I. I don't know what the parents do exactly, but their mother used to be a model and their father works in construction.
They have three children: Vinnie, who's 20 (one year older than I am); a very charming guy I've known since I was young and on vacation. Then, when I switched to a private boarding school in New York, I was surprised to see him in the year above me.
I've always considered him good looking, because he has a head full of curly hair that he likes pulling up in a man bun sometimes, which always gives off daddy vibes. He also dresses casually, unlike most of the guys I know who are always trying to show off.
Eddie, who's a year younger than me, has also always kind of been around. Then there's Pia, Vinnie's twin sister, who I've also known for years, but for some reason never really interacted with me. Vinnie always tells me that she just has one of those natural resting bitch faces (like I do, apparently).
After I'm done doing my makeup, I slip into a comfortable floor-length red satin dress and begin the staring contest with my shoe rack. I cannot be bothered with heels, and sneakers would be way too warm. I opt for a pair of white ankle-high white and gold Greek sandals to watch my white pedicure.
Valentina: be at mine in max five!!
Raisa: on the way
My phone ends up in the first white shoulder bag I can find, alongside my house keys, credit card and license, perfume, and lip gloss. I make one more stop in front of the mirror. For some reason, wearing anything red makes the back of my mind stronger and gives me more confidence in anything I do.
My family is gathered in the kitchen when I emerge downstairs, looking sun kissed and content. And here I am, looking like I want to get over my ex with the first Italian guy I see. Which isn't that far from the truth anyway.
"Where are you going?" my mother asks from her seat by the bar, rolling in the hair chair to face me.
My dad looks at me over her shoulder. They are wine tasting and are probably already tipsy. He frowns. "To impress boys, I see."
"I'm just going out with Raisa and the Barone boys, to Taormina. I told you already." I say, trying to get out of it as fast as I can so I don't keep the boys waiting for me.
I walk over to the bar, barely noticing my brother by the kitchen counter texting away on his phone.
"Oooh, look who's here." I mock as I pass him.
"Where are you going exactly?" he snaps back, finally looking up from his phone. "Where is this party?"
The truth is, I don't know. All I know is that I need to be entertained and feel like I'm doing something exciting, otherwise I'll rot in my bedroom upstairs. And of course, Adrik knows it too. He's just trying to be a smartass in front of our parents.
I sit down next to my mother by the bar. "I told you, it's in Taormina. It's a friend's of Vinnie and Eddie's." I explain, even though I have no idea whether that's true or not. It probably is.
"And you go dressed like that?" Adrik continues.
"What's your problem with my look?" I ask, slightly getting offended.
"Nothing. You're a walking red flag." He says and I look at my mom, as if I were expecting for her to say something. She shrugs, not wanting to get involved.
"How so?"
"Everybody knows a white pedicure is a red flag. Plus, you're literally in a red dress."
I look down at myself. I like what I see. It's time to turn the spotlight back onto him.
"Where have you been, hm?" I retort as I reach for my mother's glass. She looks at me disapprovingly as I take a sip.
"At the beach."
"You've been going quite often to the beach recently. Even though we have one in the backyard." I say, pointing behind me.
"Mooom." He says, apparently not being able to handle it anymore.
"Kyril." My mother says, turning to my dad.
"Valentina."
I roll my eyes. Of course, I'm the problem.
"I need to go." I say, getting up from the chair and looking at my dad. "Can you please send me some money so I can..." take shots? Do coke? Order random shit online? "...have money?"
"Oh, yes, I forgot."
I kiss both my parents on the cheek before I pass by my brother, trying to kiss him on my way out as well. He struggles but I manage to grab his chin and press a kiss to his cheek with a loud noise. I suddenly feel a rush of adrenaline in my body, excited about having something to do after five days of nothing.
"Buona notte, familia!" I exclaim, grabbing one of my jackets from the downstairs dressing room on my way out.
There's a black minivan with tinted windows outside our gate, and I run down the driveway, as if an extra ten seconds would make a difference. I quickly spray a bit of perfume on myself as I go, hoping no one is turned around to watch me do that.
"Sorry if I made you wait." I say when the driver opens the door and I climb in.
The two rows of seats are placed facing each other, so I take my place next to Raisa, right across from Vinnie, who's between his siblings. I haven't seen them in about a month since we went out in Catania last time.
"It's fine, we didn't wait long." Vinnie says, and I smile.
Vinnie has such a good vibe; I like hanging out with him. He's one of those people you just instantly get along with and could talk about everything forever because he's interesting and smart.
One time I described him to Raisa, and she asked whether I'm in love with him. I was startled by the question but also confused as to why I had to think about the answer.
Long story short, summer ended and then we went back to New York and he started college. Vinnie returned to being on again off again with his girlfriend of nearly four years at the time, I returned to looking for a friends with benefits type of thing and running when things were starting to get serious.
"Where are we going exactly?" I ask as soon as the car starts moving and the silence gets a bit too loud.
I usually have no problem talking to the Barone brothers, but having Pia here with them, being antisocial by just staring at her phone, somehow makes me feel uneasy.
"A family friend of ours has a vacation home in Taormina. They're out so we're hosting a party with everyone who could attend on short notice." He explains. "A lot of people from school will come."
"How many people?" Pia asks, not looking up from her phone.
"About sixty."
The car stops like it's already reached its destination. When I look out the window, I realize it's a small airstrip.
"We're taking the small plane, it's only thirty minutes that way."
Going to a party and arriving at...seven??? What is this.
The driver opens the door and we make our way out of the car and onto the plane, greeting the staff as we do so.
"I didn't know they had these in this town." I say, looking at the small building by the air strip.
"My father uses it for business purposes, and I can borrow it when I want to." Vinnie smiles. He's got a dimple in his left cheek, which makes him even more ugh.
We each take a shot and drink a cocktail once we're up in the air, and by the time we're landing it's already 6:45pm and the sun is starting to set.
There's another van there to take us to the location on top of a hill, with a beautiful view of the sea and the beaches below.
There are about a dozen cars parked in the driveway already, and there's flashing lights coming from a room on the second floor. I recognize a few cars from our boarding school parking lot, so I know I'm about to see some people I know in a place I never expected them to be.
I don't ask who lives here exactly, but it smells like a trust fund party. Those are the best. A bunch of kids born into old money who live their lives the way they see fit, only to become depressed around 25 if they haven't found a thing to be passionate about. I've seen it, and I'm scared it will happen to me too.
People my age having basically unlimited money to spend and not realizing they're destroying themselves with their coke habits and their need to always be chasing...something. Not being able to see that they've passed a certain invisible line when it comes to losing control of your life just because you want to feel something that doesn't feel...meh.
The house is beautiful, just like all the other houses I've seen in Italy so far. Compared to America or Russia, Italy is definitely a whole other vibe. It's like every one of these places has a certain feel, and I can't tell which one I like more. Or which place feels more like home.
----
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The house overlooks the sea, its floor-to-ceiling windows making it seem even bigger than it is."Where is everyone?" Raisa asks as we follow Vinnie through a hallway just off the main entrance."By the pool." He answers before he opens a door that leads us back outside.This is a pool party??"I don't have my bathing suit." Raisa whispers to me as we walk down the steps leading to the pool area.The pool has a perfect view of the sea below and if I didn't have a fear of heights,
MatteoManhattan, New York, United States 2019 - autumnWhen he got into Hamilton College in New York, Matteo didn't even react. He wasn't aware that he had applied in the first place. His father had suggested America to him when he just turned fourteen in 2013, about to start his last year of middle school in Palermo."Why America?" Matteo asked. He liked his life in Italy. He had friends, activities, and nothing ever stressed him out. That was before he discovered the drug greenhouses in their backyard and saw his father pointing a gun at someone on Christmas that same year.
Around 9pm, Matteo's phone beeps in his pocket. He's just about to start a new game of Fifa alone (since his brother and Vinnie both spend time on campus on weekdays).Isabella Altieri:arriving in 2He turns off his PS4 and walks over to the desk. He takes a plate full of powder cocaine out of the drawer and quickly fixes himself a line. Sure enough, Isabella's laugh is heard from down the hall and the door opens. She comes in with numerous shopping bags and Valentina trailing behind her, also holding a vast number of bags."We're back!" Isabella sings and drops the load of bags on the floor in the corner by the mini bar."You didn't hold back
"Sophia ended up not going to Portugal for her Erasmus semester and is coming back. She texted me this morning asking if we want to meet for coffee tomorrow."Matteo tries to focus on both his friend's problems as well as fixing them with a bit of cocaine."Do you want to see her?"Vinnie shrugs. "I mean, I don't know. The last months we saw each other it was very toxic, and it ended up draining the life out of me. But I still care about her.""I mean...man. Look. She cheated on you and then blamed you for not being affectionate enough.""We weren't...dating."
ValentinaManhattan, New York, United States 2019 - autumnBuying cocaine from Aleksi is not how I planned my first day of November to go. But, in my defense, I nearly fell asleep in the club yesterday after driving for four hours down to New York as soon as we finished classes. Get to The Plaza, get dressed, get ready to drink, do it all night, and then be ready to do the same tomorrow. It's just not possible for a normal human being who has done a lot of self-care and going to sleep early for the past three months.Raisa had left with Matteo at some point during the night and Aleksi told me that he'd sleep in her bed. Before we went to sleep that early morning, I asked him if he could get me a gram of coke for tomorrow
"Happy birthday!" I say, hugging her from behind once I find her.She's excited to see me so we step away from the crowd to talk more privately. I hand her the gift bag and she happily takes out what I put in there. There are three books, all of them mentioned by her in the past few months, one of them being a book for our joint course in Business Psychology, which is hard to find."You're the best, oh my GOD!" she exclaims, hugging me again. Out of the corner of my eye I see Matteo looking at me while talking to Vinnie, and my instinct tells me he might be asking Vinnie about me.I've seen him around campus a couple of time since I started my first year, and after every time I forget that he exists it seems as though everyone around me knows him personally, has some history with him, or at least knowsofhim.
"So what should I do?" Vinnie asks, still not understanding what I'm trying to say.I shrug and watch Matteo do the first line. Before I can answer, Marco buts in. "Have sex with someone else. There are tons of girls who have a crush on you and I think you should have fun for a while. You've been with the same person for years now.""Plus, Austria in December." Matteo adds and holds out the phone and the rolled-up bill to me. I look down at the phone, wondering whether I should just take it out of his hand and bring it up closer to my nose or if I should just bend down awkwardly in my heels.Before I can decide though, the phone is brought closer, so I don't have to lift a finger. "Thank you." I tell Matteo and hand the bill over to Vinnie.The right side of my face goes numb a few minutes later and I tap it with my fingers. "Good shit, right?" Marco asks, nodding."Yeah." I smile. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Matteo nodding along.***Somehow around ten people end up going to M
"What bullshit?""Allison bullshit." She says, as if it's supposed to give me any information. "Do you want to go home? We can sleep at Adrik's place.""Why not at your hotel?" Isabella asks, indirectly agreeing to my idea.
“Paulo thought it ended after she ratted him out at your New Year’s Eve party.”The way he uses the verb ‘ratted’ makes Matteo feel sick.“So? He likes her, I guess.”“Has he tried to contact her?”“I think so.”“And did she answer?”“Shouldn’t you already know this is you have a cell tower? Vinnie is right next door.”Matteo suddenly realizes that his father can also probably see everything on his phone.“Don’t worry, we don’t track the phones of our family. Nor the Barone family. I am asking you sincerely.”“I don’t think she replied, no.”“So, it’s obvious she won’t be coming back to him. Get him to stop trying.”“I can’t tell him what to do, and I also don’t want to tell him what to do.”His father looks at his face, as if to check whether Matteo means it or not. He does.“How do you know who Sofia is? And why isn’t Paulo talking to me directly like he usually does?” Matteo asks.“I know her because Paulo told me what happened. And I told you.”“Fine.”“So you’ll talk to Vinnie?”
“Not really.”Matteo can’t lie and tell him that the description matches no one ever. He thinks about that time after Vinnie’s birthday, when he stayed up until the next evening with Valentina.Just because they enjoyed being around each other. When he didn’t have to check his phone or thinks of ways to entertain himself to avoid awkwardness.She was interesting and she talked about things he’s never talked about with anyone else before. He could be himself around her, and sex wasn’t even on his mind that night, nor on that day when he ended up in bed with Ariana.But she’s also insanely attractive. Not only hot, but beautiful too. And smart.Sure, he’d like to have sex with her, it would probably be enjoyable. And if it never happened, fine. Maybe.“Are you even listening?”“Not really.”“Are you high?”“Aren’t you?”Vinnie laughs at that.Matteo still doesn’t know how to bring up Valentina. They always talk about everything they do, especially when it comes to girls.“Is something g
Chapter 17Where it all beginsMatteoCapo d’Orlando, Sicily – July 22ndAs soon as Vinnie and the rest of Valentina’s guests arrive, the atmosphere around Matteo changes. He’s not as relaxed anymore, and he feels like he has to take care of five things at once before he can actually enjoy himself.First, there’s Ariana, who has been texting him more than usual since he woke up this morning. Then there’s Vinnie, who keeps asking him if he’s okay and if he’s having fun, which forces Matteo to smile and assure him that he’s okay.The third reason is the photo he saw in Valentina’s brother’s room, which he now knows he’s seen it before. In Aurora’s room, above her desk. Valentina is also somewhere in the mix, because he’s also consciously aware of her presence now.Ariana is telling him something about her past two days, but all Matteo can focus on now is that Isabella and Valentina are talking about him.“I’ll be right back.” He says to Ariana before walking over to the two of them.“Wh
Capo d’Orlando, Sicily – July 23rd, 2020Everyone sings happy birthday to me at midnight, even though it’s more symbolic that factually accurate, and it makes me uncomfortable but happy.We did some shots after, then Isaac tried to flirt with me for what seemed like forever, before Isabella finally saved me and brought me out by the pool half an hour later.Matteo and Vinnie are in their own world, talking on the other side of the pool.“What do you think they’re talking about?”We’ve been people watching for the past twenty minutes since we sat down.“I don’t know, what do boys even talk about all day?”“No clue. And I have a brother at home.”“They seem to have a very interesting discussion. Matteo looks serious, like he’s scared even.”“How can you even tell?”
Capo d’Orlando, Sicily – July 23rd, 2020 Everyone sings happy birthday to me at midnight, even though it’s more symbolic that factually accurate, and it makes me uncomfortable but happy. We did some shots after, then Isaac tried to flirt with me for what seemed like forever, before Isabella finally saved me and brought me out by the pool half an hour later. Matteo and Vinnie are in their own world, talking on the other side of the pool. “What do you think they’re talking about?” We’ve been people watching for the past twenty minutes since we sat down. “I don’t know, what do boys even talk about all day?” “No clue. And I have a brother at home.” “They seem to have a very interesting discussion. Matteo looks serious, like he’s scared even.” “How can you even tell?” “I know him.” He turns his head, as if he already knew we were talking about him. We make eye contact before he turns back to Vinnie. “Something’s off with him.” Isabella notices. “You think?” “He’s hiding somet
“Are you even listening to me?”“Sorry, I’m not.”“Are you checking out Isaac?”I look to where she’s pointing, realizing that Isaac and Vinnie are sharing a joint right behind where Matteo and Ariana are.“Uh, maybe.”“Is something wrong? Do you not feel comfortable?”I shake my head. “No, it’s not that.”“You’ve barely drunk anything. Usually, you’re already four drinks in and have had a line or something.”“I’m fine. I just feel like…I don’t know. Like I want to do something. My energy is all over the place.”“Do something? Like what?”“I don’t know.”“Or maybe do someone?”She wiggles her eyebrows, and I know she’s referring to Isaac.“With Isaac? I don’t know.”“You’ve already done it and it was fine. Plus, he wouldn’t have come all the way from Russia for no reason.”“I don’t know if I like him or not.”“You said the sex was great. And he’s an easy choice if you feel horny.”“Hmm, maybe. I don’t know. I guess I want something new.”“What about Matteo?”I panic inside for a secon
Capo d’Orlando, Sicily – July 21st, 2020Isabella and I spend the rest of the day by the pool, until the sun starts to set on the horizon, and it gets too cold to just chill in a bathing suit.“I want to order pizza.”I look up from my book to where Matteo is sitting by the edge of the pool, his legs in the water.“Yes, please.” Isabella groans. “I’m so hungry I could die. Where are you ordering from?”“I know a place.”Matteo and I make eye contact for a moment, before his eyes drift back to the screen. A few seconds later he starts talking to someone in Italian, so I zone out and try to focus back on my book.The pizzas arrive twenty minutes later and we sit down at one of the tables on the terrace.“What time are people arriving tomorrow?” he asks me then with his mouth half full.“I don’t know, I guess around seven or eight? Might be sooner.”We eat our pizzas in peace after that, and then decide to watch a movie before going to bed. We’re all tired from sitting in the sound all d
The way she kisses is incredible; it’s deep and dirty, like she’s enjoying it, and it’s exactly what Matteo likes. It’s turning him on so much it’s almost ridiculous, and his brain suddenly thinks of her saying she’s never had sex in the sea. The thought excites him even more, so he tangles one of his hands in the back of her head, softly pulling at her roots. She moans, and unlike before, it’s an outright moan that points to pleasure. “Fuck, don’t do that.” She says into his mouth. He smiles then. “Why?” “It turns me on.” Her blunt answer makes the inside of his brain collapse, but she continues kissing him, grinding herself against him. Matteo could swear his knees just went weak, so he tries to compose himself. Suddenly, she pulls her face away and untangles her legs from his waist. “Shit.” Matteo turns his head to where she’s looking, and they see Isabella appearing from behind the bushes, focused on carrying three
Taormina, Sicily – July 20th 2020His father leaves the next day, saying that he has some business to take care of in New York with Paulo, but not without telling him to be in Taormina at the beginning of August.Matteo finds himself alone in the house when he wakes up, so he gets some coffee from the kitchen and goes to sit on the upper terrace overlooking the sea.His mind takes him back to what Valentina said about never being sad if she were to live at sea. He isn’t sad, but he’s definitely bored, so he texts Vinnie, Ariana, and Isabella, asking each of them what they’re doing.Vinnie’s text comes first.Vinnie: going to Sofia’s todayMatteo rolls his eyes and doesn’t even bother replying. He’s over the whole thing already.His phone vibrates again just as he lights his second cigarette.Ariana: bored in Milan