"So what should I do?" Vinnie asks, still not understanding what I'm trying to say.
I shrug and watch Matteo do the first line. Before I can answer, Marco buts in. "Have sex with someone else. There are tons of girls who have a crush on you and I think you should have fun for a while. You've been with the same person for years now."
"Plus, Austria in December." Matteo adds and holds out the phone and the rolled-up bill to me. I look down at the phone, wondering whether I should just take it out of his hand and bring it up closer to my nose or if I should just bend down awkwardly in my heels.
Before I can decide though, the phone is brought closer, so I don't have to lift a finger. "Thank you." I tell Matteo and hand the bill over to Vinnie.
The right side of my face goes numb a few minutes later and I tap it with my fingers. "Good shit, right?" Marco asks, nodding.
"Yeah." I smile. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Matteo nodding along.
***
Somehow around ten people end up going to Matteo and Marco's apartment in the city for the after party, including me. Isabella, Raisa, and Sophia are the only other girls here, but we're smoking joints around the kitchen table and discussing lighthearted topics such as how fun the club was, and which boy is the best dancer while the guys loudly talk in the living room.
"So, which one of you is sleeping with Matteo tonight?" Sophia asks, looking between Raisa and me, focusing more on me.
"I guess that would be me?" Raisa says, nervously laughing.
"Fun." Sophia smiles, raising her glass to Raisa.
"Speaking of the devil." Sophia exclaims when Matteo enters the kitchen and walks up to us. I can see now why Matteo was right about Sophia.
"I came for a puff." Matteo says and comes to a halt next to me.
I look at him and take two small puffs before I hand over the joint.
"So whose are you then?" Sophia asks, pointing her wine glass at me.
She loves starting her sentences with 'so'. Also, what kind of question is that? What does it even mean? Am I too drunk?
"Excuse me?" Is the only thing I can think of saying.
"Whose girl are you?" Sophia clarifies, and now all eyes in the kitchen are on me.
"Mine." I tell her, not knowing how to react.
Either the alcohol and drugs are finally getting to my head or this girl in front of me is very overwhelming and underwhelming at the same time.
Matteo snorts as he passes the joint to Raisa. "And whose are you?" he asks her. She blushes and takes a hit.
"Yours." She answers and I look at the walls. She should've told him maybe. Just to watch him squirm. I shake my head but catch myself in time before people can notice.
After Matteo leaves, everyone seems to relax a little and we're back to talking about our student life and where we want to go on vacation next.
My original assessment of Sophia still stands an hour later when we're in the living room listening to music and obviously doing more drugs. She keeps going on about how she can't do coke anymore, but she doesn't need it to stay awake.
I'm sitting by the bar in the corner of the living room next to Isabella, people-watching and idly discussing random shit. For some reason, the exchanges between Matteo and Raisa seem the most interesting to me. Or maybe because it's all happening in front of a huge painting of the woman with a flower head by Dalí.
A tall, thin brunette exits the balcony and walks past the two of them, and Matteo tenses up before turning his head to watch her for a moment. I don't think Raisa notices.
"Who's that?" I ask Isabella.
She snaps out of her thoughts. "Who?"
"The brunette talking to Marco."
"Oh. That's Allison." She rolls her eyes.
"You don't like her?"
Isabella shrugs. "She's Matteo's ex, Allison. I have no idea what she's doing here. Or who even invited her."
I feel like there's more to the story because I've never seen Isabella so close to being angry at someone, but I don't push her. My feet hurt from wearing heels all night and the coke is wearing off. If I start seeing daylight it'll be game over for me.
I place my glass on the bar and turn in my chair to face Isabella.
"I think I'm going to go home."
"You sure?"
I see someone familiar out of the corner of my eye, talking to Marco as well. "Is that my brother?" I ask in disbelief and take a hold of my glass again as I stand up.
I don't hear what Isabella tells me about him being friends with Marco because I'm making my way towards him. It's not really weird seeing him at the same party as me; it's weird seeing him at this type of party.
"Hello, what are you doing here?" I ask, switching to Russian, not giving a fuck whether it's impolite towards Marco or the brunette girl.
"Marco invited me, I was at another party in the city and decided to swing by. You okay?" he asks, switching the subject back to me.
"Fine. But I'm coming home with you." I tell him. Then, smiling, I raise my glass to him and knock it against his. "Cheers." I add, in English. It had never really occurred to me before tonight that I could stay at Adrik's when I'm in the city instead of getting a hotel. Now that he's out of the dorms and into a two bedroom apartment on the Upper East Side, I could, in theory, sleep at his.
"Cheers."
When I join Isabella back at the bar, she looks very amused.
"Do you think he could tell I'm on coke?" I ask her.
"I don't know. He might be higher than you are."
I look back at Adrik, who's looking back and forth between Marco and the brunette as they're talking. His eyes are smaller than usual, and he seems like he's really trying to keep up with their conversation. He is high.
"He's adorable." Isabella laughs and shakes her head before taking a sip from her glass. Then, she nods towards Sophia and Vinnie, talking in hushed tones in the left corner of the room. "She, on the other hand, is annoying." Then, she turns towards Marco and my brother. "And her too."
Judging by the way she slurs her words; I can tell Isabella has had one too many and is starting to become unhinged. Also, I'm not sure why she doesn't like Matteo's ex, since Marco seems to be getting along just fine with her.
"Come to the bathroom?" she whispers to me, trying to get off the highchair. She wobbles on her heels, so I stabilize her by grabbing her arm.
"Yeah, where's the bathroom in this place?"
I let her guide us to the bathroom in the hallway, where she shushes me as soon as we get inside and locks the door. Then she falls to her knees in front of the toilet and dry heaves into it.
"You need to throw up?" I ask, even though it's obvious.
"Uhuh." She says and then proceeds to actually throw up twice.
I get her some water and try to pat her forehead with a cold towel when someone knocks on the door.
"Isabella? Matteo sent me to check on you." Someone says from behind the door.
Isabella lifts her head up and looks at the door. "Bitch." She hisses, before she throws up again.
"I'm fine, Allison. I'm with Valentina."
"You sure?"
"Yes!" I say, at the same time as Isabella.
We wait for a moment before Isabella finally gets up and brushes her knees clean. "Matteo sent me." she says in a high-pitched voice, mimicking an American accent. "Was that his ex?" I ask and help her wash her face.
Isabella nods. "I thought Matteo was done with the bullshit."
----
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"What bullshit?""Allison bullshit." She says, as if it's supposed to give me any information. "Do you want to go home? We can sleep at Adrik's place.""Why not at your hotel?" Isabella asks, indirectly agreeing to my idea.
MatteoPalermo, Sicily, Italy 2019/2020 – winterWaking up on Christmas Eve in Palermo always makes Matteo feel nostalgic. The smell of cheesecake coming from downstairs mixed with the cigar smoke coming out of his father's lounge as he has guests over, his mother cooking downstairs while also trying to teach Aurora something, and the never-ending Christmas lights flashing outside his window. That's how he's been waking up every December 24th since he was born.When he was younger, he would go outside and play with Marco until it was time for dinner before they got into bed and slept thinking of Santa. As he got older, he started going out with his friends and coming back after curfew just to fall right asleep. And for the
"License and registration?""Is there a problem?" Matteo asks as he looks through the glovebox on the passenger's side for the registration and insurance."Is this your
There's a special smoking room inside the restaurant but there's always someone there so they go outside, a far enough away from the security guy until they're sure he's out of earshot. No one says a word until they've both lit their cigarettes and are completely focused on each other."Did you know before?" Vinnie asks."Knowwhat? Explain."
On New Year's Eve they meet at Vinnie's house around 8pm to get the last few details in order before the party starts. Isabella and Vinnie mainly took care of the organization and inviting people, but Matteo promised he would take care of the drugs. Paulo and his wife Diana chose to go to Capo d'Orlando last minute, sothey stayed in Palermo. About sixty people were invited either from their school, friends they've made abroad and all over Italy, as well as 'plus-one's' as Isabella called them. Well, she called Sophia and Allison plus one's because, in her words, she 'didn't consider them friends and they didn't
ValentinaMoscow, Russia, 2019/2020 – winterIsabella:do you want to party in Italy for new years?Adrik taps me on the shoulder and I look up at him, coming back to reality. It's Christmas Eve and we're at a Christmas dinner. The room is filled with relatives and my father's business associates, at one of the hotels he's decided on investing in.It's the first time we have ever held the family Christmas dinner outside of our house in Moscow, but my father explained that his associates have also been considered family for years now and that he would like to try out something new.'Something new' meant inviting everyone who usually came to the famil
The party is at a townhouse in what most people call "The Golden Mile" area of the city which is close to the Kremlin. It's very well known for the fact that it houses Moscow's richest and most influential people: billionaires, politicians, businessmen, and celebrities.When I was younger, I would stare at the buildings as I walked by, wishing I'd live in one of those townhouses one day. But ever since we've moved out of the city to a gated community in Zhukovka on the outskirts of Moscow, I don't regret it one bit. Nothing beats waking up on Christmas morning in my own room with a view of our gardens covered in sno
"He's coming over here, I'm dying." Raisa says and I shush her as we both watch Isaac making his way over to us."You look familiar." He tells me and I exchange glances with Raisa."We used to go to the same middle school."
“Paulo thought it ended after she ratted him out at your New Year’s Eve party.”The way he uses the verb ‘ratted’ makes Matteo feel sick.“So? He likes her, I guess.”“Has he tried to contact her?”“I think so.”“And did she answer?”“Shouldn’t you already know this is you have a cell tower? Vinnie is right next door.”Matteo suddenly realizes that his father can also probably see everything on his phone.“Don’t worry, we don’t track the phones of our family. Nor the Barone family. I am asking you sincerely.”“I don’t think she replied, no.”“So, it’s obvious she won’t be coming back to him. Get him to stop trying.”“I can’t tell him what to do, and I also don’t want to tell him what to do.”His father looks at his face, as if to check whether Matteo means it or not. He does.“How do you know who Sofia is? And why isn’t Paulo talking to me directly like he usually does?” Matteo asks.“I know her because Paulo told me what happened. And I told you.”“Fine.”“So you’ll talk to Vinnie?”
“Not really.”Matteo can’t lie and tell him that the description matches no one ever. He thinks about that time after Vinnie’s birthday, when he stayed up until the next evening with Valentina.Just because they enjoyed being around each other. When he didn’t have to check his phone or thinks of ways to entertain himself to avoid awkwardness.She was interesting and she talked about things he’s never talked about with anyone else before. He could be himself around her, and sex wasn’t even on his mind that night, nor on that day when he ended up in bed with Ariana.But she’s also insanely attractive. Not only hot, but beautiful too. And smart.Sure, he’d like to have sex with her, it would probably be enjoyable. And if it never happened, fine. Maybe.“Are you even listening?”“Not really.”“Are you high?”“Aren’t you?”Vinnie laughs at that.Matteo still doesn’t know how to bring up Valentina. They always talk about everything they do, especially when it comes to girls.“Is something g
Chapter 17Where it all beginsMatteoCapo d’Orlando, Sicily – July 22ndAs soon as Vinnie and the rest of Valentina’s guests arrive, the atmosphere around Matteo changes. He’s not as relaxed anymore, and he feels like he has to take care of five things at once before he can actually enjoy himself.First, there’s Ariana, who has been texting him more than usual since he woke up this morning. Then there’s Vinnie, who keeps asking him if he’s okay and if he’s having fun, which forces Matteo to smile and assure him that he’s okay.The third reason is the photo he saw in Valentina’s brother’s room, which he now knows he’s seen it before. In Aurora’s room, above her desk. Valentina is also somewhere in the mix, because he’s also consciously aware of her presence now.Ariana is telling him something about her past two days, but all Matteo can focus on now is that Isabella and Valentina are talking about him.“I’ll be right back.” He says to Ariana before walking over to the two of them.“Wh
Capo d’Orlando, Sicily – July 23rd, 2020Everyone sings happy birthday to me at midnight, even though it’s more symbolic that factually accurate, and it makes me uncomfortable but happy.We did some shots after, then Isaac tried to flirt with me for what seemed like forever, before Isabella finally saved me and brought me out by the pool half an hour later.Matteo and Vinnie are in their own world, talking on the other side of the pool.“What do you think they’re talking about?”We’ve been people watching for the past twenty minutes since we sat down.“I don’t know, what do boys even talk about all day?”“No clue. And I have a brother at home.”“They seem to have a very interesting discussion. Matteo looks serious, like he’s scared even.”“How can you even tell?”
Capo d’Orlando, Sicily – July 23rd, 2020 Everyone sings happy birthday to me at midnight, even though it’s more symbolic that factually accurate, and it makes me uncomfortable but happy. We did some shots after, then Isaac tried to flirt with me for what seemed like forever, before Isabella finally saved me and brought me out by the pool half an hour later. Matteo and Vinnie are in their own world, talking on the other side of the pool. “What do you think they’re talking about?” We’ve been people watching for the past twenty minutes since we sat down. “I don’t know, what do boys even talk about all day?” “No clue. And I have a brother at home.” “They seem to have a very interesting discussion. Matteo looks serious, like he’s scared even.” “How can you even tell?” “I know him.” He turns his head, as if he already knew we were talking about him. We make eye contact before he turns back to Vinnie. “Something’s off with him.” Isabella notices. “You think?” “He’s hiding somet
“Are you even listening to me?”“Sorry, I’m not.”“Are you checking out Isaac?”I look to where she’s pointing, realizing that Isaac and Vinnie are sharing a joint right behind where Matteo and Ariana are.“Uh, maybe.”“Is something wrong? Do you not feel comfortable?”I shake my head. “No, it’s not that.”“You’ve barely drunk anything. Usually, you’re already four drinks in and have had a line or something.”“I’m fine. I just feel like…I don’t know. Like I want to do something. My energy is all over the place.”“Do something? Like what?”“I don’t know.”“Or maybe do someone?”She wiggles her eyebrows, and I know she’s referring to Isaac.“With Isaac? I don’t know.”“You’ve already done it and it was fine. Plus, he wouldn’t have come all the way from Russia for no reason.”“I don’t know if I like him or not.”“You said the sex was great. And he’s an easy choice if you feel horny.”“Hmm, maybe. I don’t know. I guess I want something new.”“What about Matteo?”I panic inside for a secon
Capo d’Orlando, Sicily – July 21st, 2020Isabella and I spend the rest of the day by the pool, until the sun starts to set on the horizon, and it gets too cold to just chill in a bathing suit.“I want to order pizza.”I look up from my book to where Matteo is sitting by the edge of the pool, his legs in the water.“Yes, please.” Isabella groans. “I’m so hungry I could die. Where are you ordering from?”“I know a place.”Matteo and I make eye contact for a moment, before his eyes drift back to the screen. A few seconds later he starts talking to someone in Italian, so I zone out and try to focus back on my book.The pizzas arrive twenty minutes later and we sit down at one of the tables on the terrace.“What time are people arriving tomorrow?” he asks me then with his mouth half full.“I don’t know, I guess around seven or eight? Might be sooner.”We eat our pizzas in peace after that, and then decide to watch a movie before going to bed. We’re all tired from sitting in the sound all d
The way she kisses is incredible; it’s deep and dirty, like she’s enjoying it, and it’s exactly what Matteo likes. It’s turning him on so much it’s almost ridiculous, and his brain suddenly thinks of her saying she’s never had sex in the sea. The thought excites him even more, so he tangles one of his hands in the back of her head, softly pulling at her roots. She moans, and unlike before, it’s an outright moan that points to pleasure. “Fuck, don’t do that.” She says into his mouth. He smiles then. “Why?” “It turns me on.” Her blunt answer makes the inside of his brain collapse, but she continues kissing him, grinding herself against him. Matteo could swear his knees just went weak, so he tries to compose himself. Suddenly, she pulls her face away and untangles her legs from his waist. “Shit.” Matteo turns his head to where she’s looking, and they see Isabella appearing from behind the bushes, focused on carrying three
Taormina, Sicily – July 20th 2020His father leaves the next day, saying that he has some business to take care of in New York with Paulo, but not without telling him to be in Taormina at the beginning of August.Matteo finds himself alone in the house when he wakes up, so he gets some coffee from the kitchen and goes to sit on the upper terrace overlooking the sea.His mind takes him back to what Valentina said about never being sad if she were to live at sea. He isn’t sad, but he’s definitely bored, so he texts Vinnie, Ariana, and Isabella, asking each of them what they’re doing.Vinnie’s text comes first.Vinnie: going to Sofia’s todayMatteo rolls his eyes and doesn’t even bother replying. He’s over the whole thing already.His phone vibrates again just as he lights his second cigarette.Ariana: bored in Milan