-3 years later-
Years had passed and since then my life became more peaceful, fulfilling and happier now that I've thrown away every single trash that has been bothering my life. I am finally graduating from college with a cum laude on my diploma! After all the hardships, tears, sleepless nights I am going to be free and taking a new step forward in my life. Ilang years na rin ang nakalipas pero hindi pab rin maalis yung trauma na binigay ng ex ko na 'yon, ang daming lumalapit sa'kin and they looked all serious naman pero it's ashamed that I am not ready enough to commit. Lalo na at mah trust issues na ako at mas lumalala ito. I can't help it rin naman and I blame everything on him since hindi naman ako magkaka ganito if hindi niyako niloko in the first place. Moving on, even though naman na sobrang unbothered ko na sakanya. Ked still hasn't given up begging for me to comeback. Kaso wala na eh, ayuko na rin talaga and when I said it's over, everything is over. I just hope he wasn't expecting in return and just move on with life. Honestly nga that break up saved me from a lot of things and atleast ngayon hindi na ako magpapaka t*nga sa isang lalaki ever again. Simula nga rin na maging single ako ay nag labasan lahat ng mga secret admirers ko, they would constantly show up and sometimes message me randomly but I don't have time for men right now, I strive and grind for my future kasi I wanna make my parents proud of me and now, it's finally time to make them proud by going at the stage for the very last time and to honor them because of their hardwork for molding me as the woman I am today. After ko mag-ayos ay pumunta na kami agad sa venue where the ceremony would be held and once we got there, we went at our proper seats and waited for it to begin. After claiming my award at the stage, me and my family went at a restaurant to celebrate there. Apat lang muna kami since si kuya ay hindi makakauwi ng bansa kasi busy siya sa work niya and naiintindihan ko naman. "So anak, what is your next step after graduating?" My dad asked. "Maybe work at your company first since I wanna help you with it for over a year before being a flight attendant." I wanna experience working at my dad's company since recently may kumakalat na issue na ang dami daw naming utang from different corporations which was something I didn't believe since my dad and I hasn't talked about it. My dad knew from the very first place na isa rin akong business student so for sure lalapit siya sa'kin when he needed the help but through the years, hindi naman nangyari 'yon. So what's the point of having debts right? "That's good to know, that would be helpful for me anak." My dad answered. "Are you sure na kaya mo sa company ni daddy mo anak? You know naman na bigatin ang trabaho doon and baka mamaya hindi mo kayanin." My mom was overthinking again. Knowing my mom as an over-thinker with everything that I do made me worry that baka wala pa siyang tiwala sa'kin masyado to discover new things that I wanna try, maybe she was just worried na baka maistress lang ako but then, what's the fun in life if you can't be stress over something right? "Kaya ko 'yon mommy, trust me." I do believe in myself so much na halos lahat ay gusto ko kaya kong gawin and I wanted to show them how much capable I am to handle things on my own now, malaki na ako and I know what's right and wrong in my life so sana hindi na sila mag worry sa mga pag dadaanan ko pa sa buhay. After din naming mag celebrate ay umuwi na rin kami since kailangan naming mag pahinga at mamaya ko na bubuksan yung gifts na binigay nila sa'kin. After changing myself into something comfortable and laying on my bed I just realized na there's a lot of big things now that I needed to achieve and I can't wait to finish those achivements and to line up everything. After resting for a few weeks I started working at my dad's company as his personal assistant, inaral ko muna lahat bago pa man ako pumasok sa kumpanya na ito. I started working and focusig on every schedule, phonecalls, business trips that are needed to be scheduled and more things and I can say that I kinda like it. I was busy writing somehing here at my office when sudenly I heard a knock from my door. "Ma'am? Delivery po." Napakunot ako ng nuo. Delivery? Kailan naman ako nag order ng something? Baka naman mamaya sinasabutahe lang ako tas pag bukas ko ng pinto ay sumalubong sa'kin ang isang malaking boquet ng sunflowers, sobrang confused ko right now at sino namang mag dadala sa'kin ng ganyan ka bonggang boquet. "Delivery for Ms. Shanty, may note po sa loob ma'am at sabi ng nag papabigay ay basahin niyo nalang daw po." Inabot naman sa'kin agad yung boquet at umalis na yung lalaki. I shut the door and immediately placed the boquet at my desk at hinanap ang note na sinasabi ng nag de-deliver. "Congratulations with your achievements, I am so proud of you and may I fly with you soon." -Sincerely the captain of the skies. Hindi talaga siya nakikinig, ano bang gusto niyang mangyari? Maging kami ulit? Maging okay ang lahat between us? Nakakapagod na lagi nalang siyang nangungulit and he was so desperate to want me back that instant. 3 years na ang nakakalipas and he still continued to do it, actually nga I already forgave him for what he did but ayuko na eh. Everything between us for me has come to an end and that is the last words that was supposed to be written in our chapters but he still pursued to continue the story even though I already made up my mind by ending it. Kung pwede lang na ikasal ako ngayon para maipakita ko sakanya na off limits na at hindi niya na pwedeng kulitin pa ang buhay ko. Pero wag naman, I still wanna achieve something in life and I haven't reached my goal yet, hopefully sooner or later naman. One day, magigising nalang ako na anjaan na yung future husband ko sa harap ko because God knows how much I prayed for him to meet him one day and to create a beautiful family with him sooner or later. Yet before anything else, life must go on now and more. Ayuko na muna hanggat hindi 'yon yung lalaking hinihiling ko kay Lord. I don't kung ano pa ba yung silbe netong binili niya but I don't appreciate it, even though favorite and signature flower ko ang sunflower. Tinapon ko nalang din kasama yung note na binigay niya, it doesn't matter kung gaano ka effort, kung gaano siya katagal na nag hihintay para sa'kin pero I just wanted him to know that he's just wasting his time and effort for everything that he's been trying to since wala na eh. Ayuko na siya isipin and moving on I started to focus on my job at para matapos na ang mga gawain ko. "Ms, shanty? Pinapatawag daw po kayo sa office ng father mo and he said na urgent daw po." ....._......Ano nanaman kaya ang kailangan ni papa this time? Without any further due, nag ayos na ako ng sarili ko since baka may investors na kasama niya at tumungo na agad sa office niya. Quite weird but every step that I take while going closer at the door made my body tremble and I don't know what's the cause of it, hindi naman ako ganito eh pero bakit? May masama kaya na nangyari kay papa? Does it have to be about our company or maybe does it have to do with me.It doesn't matter, wala naman akong masama na ginawa at baka may sasabihin lang sa'kin.Pagka bukas ko ng pinto I spotted my dad talking to 2 gentlemen in his office. Mukha silang mag ama since magkamukha sila but I might be wrong, kinda bit strange but the younger one looked so familiar to me kaso hindi ko nga lang alam kung saan ko siya nakita or nakasama. I have a feeling that we both met before but I can't really recall."Hi everyone." I said and I caught their attention immediately.I approach them with a big smile while my dad
It felt weird but I can feel someone's presence behind me and mukhang sinundan ata ako ng lalaki na 'yon, how could he know? "Leave me be." "Andito ako para makipag usap sa'yo about sa deal and I won't go away until you talk to me." Napaka tapang niya naman pala para sumagot sa'kin ng ganun."Why? Bakit parang pursigido ka pa na ikasal tayo? Is it because of the wealth that you wanted to offer? Or baka may gusto kang makuha sa'kin." I don't care if below the belt na mga pinagsasabi ko or I was straight forward, gusto ko lang malaman kung bakit gusto niya akong pakasalan ng ganun ganun nalang. "Look gusto ko lang naman tulungan si papa atsaka it will be a good chance din naman for the both of us, tayong dalawa din naman yung mag be-benifit nun eh and don't worry hindi naman kita pipilitin sa mga bagay na ayaw mo." He remained calm while explaining things to me. Pero ayuko makasal at ayukong pumunta ng altar na hindiko mahal yung pakakasalan ko. Lumapit siya sa'kin at tumayo sa har
Ilang days na yng nakalilipas pero hindi pa rin mawawala yung mga tanong sa isip ko, they were all busy with the wedding planning and all of them were really excited. Nag announce na sila sa public na ikakasal na kaming dalawa and everyone was shocked and yet happy at the same time. I keep wondering and wondering wht marriage life would look like and I really need to ease my mind from all of those questions."Cam are you busy? Kailangan ko lumabas and I needed someone to talk to." "Nag book ako ng spa appointment so tamang tama lag yung aya mo, let's talk about it." Sagot niya nama sa'kin. I love how thoughtful my best friend was and we've been together na talaga ever since and this is just what I needed. Nag pa drive nalang ako since I was too lazy to drive and once I arrived there, sinalubong agad ako ni cam and we both went at the sauna and relaxed ourselves with a cup of tea. "So you're getting married na girl!" She sounded so excited for me. "Yeah and it's weird but I felt a
I can't help but to be curious with what was going on and how did everything happened all of the sudden but there's one thing I am sure about and that is I am marrying that woman either she likes it or not. ........................Kapag ba nag mamahal ka ulit and willing ka na buksan muli ang puso mo, makakaya mo kaya ito? Kaya ko kaya 'yon? Sobrang daling sabihin na pwede at oo pero sobrang hirap din lalo na at may napag daanan kana sa maling tao. Nagpaka t*nga ako noon, nagpa-loko, ginawang alipin at lahat lahat na. Wala eh, wala naman akong magagawa dahil mahal ko pero dati pa naman 'yon. Nakakapag taka dahil matapos kang ipag tabuyan na para bang wala kayong pinagsamahan ay babalik sa'yo at mang hihingi pa ng pagkakataon pero ikaw, nakausad kana. Wala ng babalikan at hinding-hindi na muling babalik pa. Matapos din akong lokohin ng dati kong girlfriend ay hindi na ako umulit at hindi na'ko nag mahal pa
I was a woman filled with purity and love within me, when I love, I love hard and strong but when I am done it is over from everything that we've been through. It doesn't matter to me if we've been together for years or decades, once I receive disrespect and dishonesty it will be over for me and everything that we build. I just can't believe that I settled for someone so low that I didn't realize that I've been manipulated and hurt...... ...........................Kakauwi ko lang galing school and grabe yung pagod since kakatapos lang namin mag perform ng folk dance and gustong gusto ko na magpahinga kaso kailangan pa namin umattend sa isa pa naming sinasalihan na contest since pang pataas naman din 'yon ng grades. "Pagod na ako, asan na ba sila at bakit parang wala naman din tayong gagawin dito." nag rereklamo na ako sa gilid dahil kaming dalawa ni camiell ay naiinitan na. Camiell or cam for short is a good friend of mine since nung nag start ang pasukan and we've through a lo
Wala akong ibang makakausap dahil ayuko namang umiyak sa harap ni mama dahil alam ko na kapag sinabi ko lahat ay masisira yung image niya sa'min. I was still waiting for him to come clean to me pero wala, there are no messages from him at all. Hindi niya alam kung gaano kasakit yung ginawa niya at sana makarma siyang hayop siya. Hindi ko na napigilan ang sarili ko at nag bike ako at umalis ng bahay. I felt like tearing apart into pieces habang nag mamaneho pero hindi, kailangan kong may masabihan at iyakan ng lahat ng nangyayari. I went at Glea's house since siya lang din yung kalapit ko and she was one of my best friend too, kaso pagka dating ko doon ay wala pa daw si Glea so bumalik na lamang ako. Pagka balik ko nadaanan ko si Glea at doon na ako umiyak. "Gleaa.." my tears started falling down and voice cracked. "Hala anong nangyari?? Bakit shanty? Wag kang ganyan, naiiyak din ako." imbes na icomfort naman ako ng babae na 'to sabay pa kaming umiyak. Kwinento ko sakanya lahat
I expected na babawiin niya yung salita niya pero bumitaw siya, he let me go that easily. Sa lahat ng pinag samahan namin, pag iintindi ko sakanya, still I wasn't enough for him to stay. What's wrong? What did that woman have that I haven't? Why would he choose a one day woman from me? Bakit? Bakit niya nagawa 'yon sa'kin? Up until now from the very first time in my life I questioned my worth that I have if I was really worthy enough to keep but now? Parang hindi na importante 'yon sakanya. Pinabasa ko kay cam yung sinend niyang long message and based on her reaction, she was disappointed from the fact that she wasn't also expecting na ganun yung mang yayari. As much as I wanted to handle my tears and to stay stable, hindi ko kinaya at umiyak ako at napa higa nalang ang ulo ko sa balikat ni cam. "Hindi ako maka relate since hindi ko pa nararanasan 'yan but kaya mo 'yan girl, iiyak mo lang and ilabas mo lahat ng sama ng loob mo." she comforted me in her own way and I felt a little
Ilang days na yng nakalilipas pero hindi pa rin mawawala yung mga tanong sa isip ko, they were all busy with the wedding planning and all of them were really excited. Nag announce na sila sa public na ikakasal na kaming dalawa and everyone was shocked and yet happy at the same time. I keep wondering and wondering wht marriage life would look like and I really need to ease my mind from all of those questions."Cam are you busy? Kailangan ko lumabas and I needed someone to talk to." "Nag book ako ng spa appointment so tamang tama lag yung aya mo, let's talk about it." Sagot niya nama sa'kin. I love how thoughtful my best friend was and we've been together na talaga ever since and this is just what I needed. Nag pa drive nalang ako since I was too lazy to drive and once I arrived there, sinalubong agad ako ni cam and we both went at the sauna and relaxed ourselves with a cup of tea. "So you're getting married na girl!" She sounded so excited for me. "Yeah and it's weird but I felt a
It felt weird but I can feel someone's presence behind me and mukhang sinundan ata ako ng lalaki na 'yon, how could he know? "Leave me be." "Andito ako para makipag usap sa'yo about sa deal and I won't go away until you talk to me." Napaka tapang niya naman pala para sumagot sa'kin ng ganun."Why? Bakit parang pursigido ka pa na ikasal tayo? Is it because of the wealth that you wanted to offer? Or baka may gusto kang makuha sa'kin." I don't care if below the belt na mga pinagsasabi ko or I was straight forward, gusto ko lang malaman kung bakit gusto niya akong pakasalan ng ganun ganun nalang. "Look gusto ko lang naman tulungan si papa atsaka it will be a good chance din naman for the both of us, tayong dalawa din naman yung mag be-benifit nun eh and don't worry hindi naman kita pipilitin sa mga bagay na ayaw mo." He remained calm while explaining things to me. Pero ayuko makasal at ayukong pumunta ng altar na hindiko mahal yung pakakasalan ko. Lumapit siya sa'kin at tumayo sa har
Ano nanaman kaya ang kailangan ni papa this time? Without any further due, nag ayos na ako ng sarili ko since baka may investors na kasama niya at tumungo na agad sa office niya. Quite weird but every step that I take while going closer at the door made my body tremble and I don't know what's the cause of it, hindi naman ako ganito eh pero bakit? May masama kaya na nangyari kay papa? Does it have to be about our company or maybe does it have to do with me.It doesn't matter, wala naman akong masama na ginawa at baka may sasabihin lang sa'kin.Pagka bukas ko ng pinto I spotted my dad talking to 2 gentlemen in his office. Mukha silang mag ama since magkamukha sila but I might be wrong, kinda bit strange but the younger one looked so familiar to me kaso hindi ko nga lang alam kung saan ko siya nakita or nakasama. I have a feeling that we both met before but I can't really recall."Hi everyone." I said and I caught their attention immediately.I approach them with a big smile while my dad
-3 years later-Years had passed and since then my life became more peaceful, fulfilling and happier now that I've thrown away every single trash that has been bothering my life. I am finally graduating from college with a cum laude on my diploma! After all the hardships, tears, sleepless nights I am going to be free and taking a new step forward in my life. Ilang years na rin ang nakalipas pero hindi pab rin maalis yung trauma na binigay ng ex ko na 'yon, ang daming lumalapit sa'kin and they looked all serious naman pero it's ashamed that I am not ready enough to commit. Lalo na at mah trust issues na ako at mas lumalala ito. I can't help it rin naman and I blame everything on him since hindi naman ako magkaka ganito if hindi niyako niloko in the first place. Moving on, even though naman na sobrang unbothered ko na sakanya. Ked still hasn't given up begging for me to comeback. Kaso wala na eh, ayuko na rin talaga and when I said it's over, everything is over. I just hope he wasn't
I expected na babawiin niya yung salita niya pero bumitaw siya, he let me go that easily. Sa lahat ng pinag samahan namin, pag iintindi ko sakanya, still I wasn't enough for him to stay. What's wrong? What did that woman have that I haven't? Why would he choose a one day woman from me? Bakit? Bakit niya nagawa 'yon sa'kin? Up until now from the very first time in my life I questioned my worth that I have if I was really worthy enough to keep but now? Parang hindi na importante 'yon sakanya. Pinabasa ko kay cam yung sinend niyang long message and based on her reaction, she was disappointed from the fact that she wasn't also expecting na ganun yung mang yayari. As much as I wanted to handle my tears and to stay stable, hindi ko kinaya at umiyak ako at napa higa nalang ang ulo ko sa balikat ni cam. "Hindi ako maka relate since hindi ko pa nararanasan 'yan but kaya mo 'yan girl, iiyak mo lang and ilabas mo lahat ng sama ng loob mo." she comforted me in her own way and I felt a little
Wala akong ibang makakausap dahil ayuko namang umiyak sa harap ni mama dahil alam ko na kapag sinabi ko lahat ay masisira yung image niya sa'min. I was still waiting for him to come clean to me pero wala, there are no messages from him at all. Hindi niya alam kung gaano kasakit yung ginawa niya at sana makarma siyang hayop siya. Hindi ko na napigilan ang sarili ko at nag bike ako at umalis ng bahay. I felt like tearing apart into pieces habang nag mamaneho pero hindi, kailangan kong may masabihan at iyakan ng lahat ng nangyayari. I went at Glea's house since siya lang din yung kalapit ko and she was one of my best friend too, kaso pagka dating ko doon ay wala pa daw si Glea so bumalik na lamang ako. Pagka balik ko nadaanan ko si Glea at doon na ako umiyak. "Gleaa.." my tears started falling down and voice cracked. "Hala anong nangyari?? Bakit shanty? Wag kang ganyan, naiiyak din ako." imbes na icomfort naman ako ng babae na 'to sabay pa kaming umiyak. Kwinento ko sakanya lahat
I was a woman filled with purity and love within me, when I love, I love hard and strong but when I am done it is over from everything that we've been through. It doesn't matter to me if we've been together for years or decades, once I receive disrespect and dishonesty it will be over for me and everything that we build. I just can't believe that I settled for someone so low that I didn't realize that I've been manipulated and hurt...... ...........................Kakauwi ko lang galing school and grabe yung pagod since kakatapos lang namin mag perform ng folk dance and gustong gusto ko na magpahinga kaso kailangan pa namin umattend sa isa pa naming sinasalihan na contest since pang pataas naman din 'yon ng grades. "Pagod na ako, asan na ba sila at bakit parang wala naman din tayong gagawin dito." nag rereklamo na ako sa gilid dahil kaming dalawa ni camiell ay naiinitan na. Camiell or cam for short is a good friend of mine since nung nag start ang pasukan and we've through a lo
I can't help but to be curious with what was going on and how did everything happened all of the sudden but there's one thing I am sure about and that is I am marrying that woman either she likes it or not. ........................Kapag ba nag mamahal ka ulit and willing ka na buksan muli ang puso mo, makakaya mo kaya ito? Kaya ko kaya 'yon? Sobrang daling sabihin na pwede at oo pero sobrang hirap din lalo na at may napag daanan kana sa maling tao. Nagpaka t*nga ako noon, nagpa-loko, ginawang alipin at lahat lahat na. Wala eh, wala naman akong magagawa dahil mahal ko pero dati pa naman 'yon. Nakakapag taka dahil matapos kang ipag tabuyan na para bang wala kayong pinagsamahan ay babalik sa'yo at mang hihingi pa ng pagkakataon pero ikaw, nakausad kana. Wala ng babalikan at hinding-hindi na muling babalik pa. Matapos din akong lokohin ng dati kong girlfriend ay hindi na ako umulit at hindi na'ko nag mahal pa