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Chapter 31
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2021-11-23 08:04:26I woke up that morning and with my eyes closed, I quickly turned to the other side of the bed to search for the presence of my wife. However, there was no one there.
I groaned and my brows furrowed when I felt the right side of the bed empty. Pikit ang matang kinapa ko iyon subalit wala talagang tao. Shit! Parang tinakasan ako ng antok. I quickly opened my eyes and scanned the whole area but no one was there. Tang ina, nasaan ang asawa ko?!
“Katherine?” Damn it, saan siya nagpunta?
“Katherine, where are you?”
Mabilis kong binuksan ang pintuan ng banyo pero wala rin siya doon! Damn it, damn it!
Did she… Did she leave me? Is she that desperate to leave? Is it that bad to become my wife?
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Life's too short to be buried under all the hatred and agony. But we could not force ourselves what to feel. Minsan, tama lang na magalit. We have to express ourselves and our emotions. After all, anger takes too long to fade.But like the clouds on the skies that we see, we all deserve to free ourselves and gain the peace we want.“Do you want to swim?” Lionel asked.Katatapos lang namin mag-unpack at ngayon ay nasa balcony lang at nagpapahangin. Sa totoo lang ay hindi ko inasahang magiging ganito siya. I can feel his sincerity and honesty at sa palagay ko ay walang masama kung… pagkakatiwalaan ko siya.“Mamaya siguro,” sagot ko. “I-Ikaw ba?”“I’ll swim with you, o
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“Is that really a yes, Darling?” tanong niya ulit at marahan akong hinila upang harapin siya. Wala akong nagawa bukod sa tumawa ulit. Kanina pa kasi siyang ganiyan, eh. Hindi pa kami tuluyang nakakababa sa hagdan pero nakailang tanong na siya kung talaga bang hinahayaan ko na siyang manligaw. He’s so cute.“O-Oo nga. Ayaw mo ba?” nakangusong tanong ko kahit ang totoo ay nagpipigil na rin ako ng ngiti.“O-Of course not!” agap niya. “I was just… surprised.”I couldn’t help but giggle. Ang cute niya, eh. Pinaghandaan niya nang napakatagal kung paano ako tatanungin nang ganoon pero hindi niya napaghandaan ang magiging reaksyon sa oras na pumayag ako?“Honestly, I was very scared.” Hinapit niya ang
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We kissed under the rain and the rest was history. Hindi ko inakalang magiging ganito ako pagdating sa kaniya. Magiging ganito ako kabilis. But it feels so good. Napakasarap maramdamang mahal niya ako at… maiparamdam din iyon sa kaniya.The way he touched and kissed me last night was filled with passion and love. Hindi ko mabilang kung ilang beses niyang sinambit at ipinaalala sa akin kung… gaano ako kaganda at… kung gaano niya ako kamahal.At ang marinig iyon mula sa kaniya ay nagpalambot lalo sa aking puso. It was… one of the happiest days of my life. Lionel was so respectful. Inamin man niyang hindi na siya makakapagpigil, pilit niyang pinaalala sa akin na kung hindi ko gusto ay magsabi lang ako dahil kaya niya naman akong hintayin.It was odd because I was ready for him. I want
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“Sumasakit ba?” Naramdaman ko ang pagyakap sa akin ni Lionel habang tinititigan ko ang aking tattoo na pareho kami. Ngumiti naman ako sa kaniya at umiling.“Hindi naman," asik ko. “Salamat ulit.”Ngumiti siya at saka lumapit upang gawaran ako ng halik. Babalik na kami sa isang araw sa Manila kaya susulitin na namin ito.Hindi naman sa magbabago na kami pero… babalik na rin kasi kami sa trabaho at mababawasan ang oras na magkasama.“It's my pleasure to help you regain your confidence, Darling,” aniya. “You're the most beautiful and don't ever look down on yourself. I'd strive to prove it to you every day.”Napangiti ako kasabay ng malakas na pagtibok ng aking p
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“Sagutin mo ako, Katherine!” It felt like… he’s back to being the person I feared.My hands trembled so much in fear, at hindi ko kayang tumagal sa kaniyang titig. It was dangerous. Nakakatakot. Hindi ko alam kung anong dapat kong sabihin dahil hindi naman ganoon ang ipinupunto ko kung bakit ko siya pinatigil kanina. I was just worried na madadamay siya sa gulo!Nag-alala ako para kay Alejandro pero hindi ibig sabihin noon ay gusto ko na ang tangka niyang paghalik! At higit doon, mas nag-aalala ako para kay Lionel.Kinagat ko ang aking labi habang nakatingin sa baba. I was holding back my trembling fear, preparing myself to answer him. Pero mayamaya lang, narinig ko ang marahan niyang pag buntong hininga.Sinulayapan ko siya at nakiang gulat at k
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“Katarina and I will go over there and socialize. Why don't you two go over the dancefloor and dance, hmm?” nakangiting tukso ni Tita Lea habang tumatayo.The opening program is over at mayamaya lang ay magsisimula na ang bidding. Pero sa ngayon, karamihan ay nakikipag kwentuhan at ang iba naman ay nagsasayaw sa malamyos na tugtog.“S-Sige po,” asik ko at nginitian sila. Sumama rin si Dad kaya't kami lang ang naiwan ni Lionel sa table.At pagkatalikod pa lang nila sa amin, naramdaman ko na kaagad ang paghawak ng kamay ni Lionel sa akin na kanina ay naglalaro lang sa aking hita.“Alone at last,” rinig kong bulong niya na ikinatawa ko.“Sayaw tayo?” anyaya ko. Subalit
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“P-Po? Bakit naman?” Hindi ako makapaniwala. Lionel and I are just starting over again! Kung kailan… hulog na hulog na kami sa isa’t isa, saka naman sila aatras!Nagkatinginan sina Mommy at Daddy na parang hindi alam kung ano ang dapat nilang sabihin. Pero sigurado akong may dahilan kung bakit biglang nagbago ang kanilang isip!“We just think that… we’ve done our part already. Nakikita na naman namin ang progress ng kanilang kompanya, and I hate that Lea still wants to extend your marriage. Hindi naman sa pag-aano pero palagay ko’y sobra na naman yata ang hinihiling niya,” sambit ni Mommy. Halata ko ang frustration at ang tinitimping galit niya. Kaya mula sa kaniyang upo ay hinawakan ko ang kaniyang kamay upang pakalmahin.“A
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Aaminin ko. Giving him the chance that he deserves was… the best decision I made so far. Kailanman ay hindi niya na ako muling tinrato na gaya noon. Every time he’s with me, I can feel nothing but his love and sincerity. Nag-iingat at nag-aalala parati.We spent our remaining days off na nasa bahay lang. Aside from cleaning the house together, we unpacked our stuff as he helped me. At… naglipat na rin ng gamit sa iisang kwarto. I mean, we’ve already done that and we’re basically living together. Hindi ba?At isa pa… kami na.The house look new again. Ang sarap noon sa mata at ngayon ay lalagyan namin ng mga panibagong alaala. But for now, I guess we have to focus on our work.Lionel left earlier dahil maaga ang flight na hahabulin n
Last Updated : 2021-11-30
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When can we say that we’ve moved on from all the pain and heartache? How do we know if we’ve already moved on? How do we know if we’re just forcing ourselves and denying the pain? At higit sa lahat… paano ba tatanggapin ang pagkawala ng ating minamahal?I have lots of questions running in my mind. Habang nakatitig sa puntod ng aking asawa, hindi ko mapigilang itanong sa aking sarili kung paano kinakaya ng mga taong naiiwan ang paglisan ng kanilang minamahal.How can Kuya River… stand strong?Well, maybe he has his little angel that Sandra left to remind him of her love. At si Lionel… ganoon din.“Will you be fine here, Darling?” mahinang bulong ko at hinawakan ang kanyang lap
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It still feels unreal. Sa tuwing iminumulat ko ang aking mga mata kada umaga, pakiramdam ko’y hindi totoo ang lahat. When I wake up without him beside me, I’d still wait for him to get out of the shower.But as minutes pass, after realizing everything… that he’s not here anymore… I couldn't stop myself from crying.The past few days were very hard. And it’s not getting any better. Sa bawat araw, parang mas lalo lang akong nasaktan.In the middle of the night, I can still feel him caressing my cheeks. I can always feel his warmth like he never left.“CK…” Nabalik ako sa katinuan nang marinig ang tinig ni Mom. She caressed my back and hair as she softly whispered. “Do you want something to eat? Mananghali
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“L-Lionel, please… wake up. Wake up, please?” pakiusap ko.I tried to run and push his bed as fast as I could. Natatakot akong sa oras na bumagal ang takbo namin… baka hindi na kami umabot. Baka iwanan niya na ako. Baka…“Sweetie,” Mommy called and stopped me from entering the emergency room. Pero hindi ako nagpatinag. Gusto kong pumasok. Gusto kong malaman ang lagay ng asawa ko. Gusto kong naroon ako pagmulat ng kanyang mga mata.“Mommy, please. I k-know he’ll want to see me if he wakes up. G-Gusto ko siyang makitang mabuhay, Mommy. H-He’ll be worried sick if he wakes up without me. Alam ko iyon.” Nabasag ang aking boses habang patuloy na nagmamakaawang papasukin nila ako sa emergency room pero… hindi talaga. Ayaw nila.
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At first, I thought I was only serving my revenge because they fooled me. Pero sino bang niloloko ko? I can’t… hold it any longer.I can’t contain my feelings anymore. After kissing her, marrying her legally without her knowing, after I locked her there, at matapos kong makita ang paraan ng titig niya sa kapatid ko, I know I wouldn’t be able to last another day without her knowing that she’s mine.At nang magising ako isang araw sa kanyang tabi… I couldn’t help but feel how much my heart is aching. I realized how stupid I am. She’s fucking innocent!At hindi siya biktima ng pangyayari kundi… biktima ng galit ko. I was the one who harmed her. I was the one who hurted her and traumatized her. Kaya anong… karapata
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I did shit the next few days. Umuuwing madaling araw tapos aalis na ulit, I go to bars often, meet few ladies and mess with them in a way we both know. Umabot pa sa puntong ginawa ko iyon… sa bahay mismo.Alam kong napakatanga ko, pero wala akong pakialam. I can’t take Katherine off my mind, and I know that I have to! Kaya lahat ginawa ko para maalis siya sa sistema ko. Pero alam kong palagi ko siyang makikita kaya minabuti kong ituon ang atensyon ko sa iba.But unexpectedly, one night, she… saw me doing it with another woman in our very own house.Fuck, I’m so screwed up.“Katherine?!” sigaw ko nang makita siyang tulala sa amin. She looked stunned. Subalit ang gulat ay napalitan ng takot nang
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They say that before people close their eyes, they tend to remember the most beautiful thing that happens to their lives.But no matter how much I’m afraid to die, I don’t think I can still… make it.“Lionel… Lionel, please, wake up!” I stared at my beautiful wife as she cried so much. The last thing I want to see is her shedding tears. Dahil sa tuwing nakikita ko siyang umiiyak, it always felt like I failed my duty as his husband.It always reminded me of those days when I was an ass to her. It always reminded me that until now, I’m still not satisfied dahil pakiramdam ko’y kulang pa ang mga ginagawa ko para makabawi sa kanya.“Hala! S-Sorry, akala ko walang tao!” sigaw ni Katherine at kaagad isinar
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“Are you craving for something? Do you want anything in particular? May nararamdaman ka ba?” tanong niya habang naglalakad kami sa may airport. Napatawa na lang ako dahil magmula nang malaman niya kanina ang tungkol sa pagbubuntis ko, hindi na siya magkandaugaga sa pag-alalay sa akin. Sobrang saya ko nang mag-positive ang tatlong pregnancy tests at hindi pa rin ako makapaniwala hanggang ngayon. Pero dahil sa reaksyon ni Lionel, sobrang saya ko na totoo ang lahat nang ito. “Are you sure you don’t want anything?” tanong niya nang umiling ako. Kaagad akong napatawa dahil bakas na bakas ko sa kanya ang pagkataranta. “Wala talaga,” sambit ko habang hawak ang kanyang kamay. “Don’t worry about me, okay? I’m really alright.”
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That morning, hindi na ako nagulat nang muling magpaalam si Lionel para umalis. He was like that throughout the whole week. Umaalis nang maaga at umuuwi minsan sa gabi o kaya naman ay madaling araw. But there are days when he doesn’t come home at all.Minsan nga ay umuuwi nang madaling araw galing sa ibang bansa nang hindi namin nalalaman. Even though I know that he’s with Kuya River, I can’t help but get worried every time.He thinks that leaving me here in Carles would make me feel at ease and slowly recover from the incident. Pero ang totoo, mas naghihilom ang lahat ng sakit sa tuwing narito siya. Him staying beside me through those painful days did all the job. At sa totoo lang, mas malaki ang naging impact sa akin ng pagkamatay ni Sandra kaysa sa pagtangka ni Alejandro na pagdukot sa akin. And it made me even scared for my husband.
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“Do you know anything else?” tanong ko kay Vincent habang nakatitig sa cell phone ni Aaliyah at binabasa ang mensahe ng kanyang ama sa kanya.At habang ginagawa iyon, hindi ko mapigilang maawa sa bata. Alejandro is blessed to have a child. He’s blessed to have a daughter like her. Pero hindi pa siya nakuntento. Why in the world did he want my wife? I get that he likes her, but I never realized that it’ll be to this extent.Unless, there are deeper reasons. But whatever they are, it will still be invalid.“Iyan lang. Kailangan mo ba ang cell phone?” tanong niya.Kaagad akong umiling at saka ibinigay iyon ulit sa kanya. I’ve read enough.“Aalis na ako. That’s all I need to k
