The pain

I NEED A DIVORCE.

AYSEL'S POV.

Pain was an understatement; it felt like my heart was being ripped out and handed to me. Tears gathered at the brim of my eyes, my orbs widening; they almost popped out of my socket.

'Was this really happening?' I pondered, finding it hard to believe.

"I need a divorce, Aysel. I have found her, so I no longer have a need for you again." 

My husband walked in with a strange lady. His grip around her waist tightened, and she told me he needed a divorce.

"A NEED FOR ME?" I questioned, puzzled, but tried so hard to push my tears back.

"I don't understand.". He was smiling down at her, love and warmth obvious in his iris for her. I felt jealousy crawling through my heart. Despite our one and a half years of marriage, he has never looked at me in such a manner. He was always cold and expressionless. I could not believe Raven had emotion.

His smile dropped at my words, and his expression strained with a mix of annoyance and frustration as he growled at me, fury evident in his eyeballs.

"What don't you understand? I said I didn't need you anymore. You were just a substitute; I used to replace her because she was busy building herself for me. Now I have found her, so I have no use for you again," he explained. I could feel my small world shattering as realizations fell on me.

He never married me because he loved me. He married me because he wanted to replace her. My eyes dropped, my shoulders slumped in a subtle defeat, and my expression crumbled. I could not hold my tears any longer; I let them pour.

"Crying; you are such an expert on that," he snickered.

"Raven, you should have taken care of this before my arrival. I don't like seeing people like this, poor girl." The lady he brought in commented, rolling her eyes.

"You shouldn't have come; if you truly care, you know he is married; why did he come out of nowhere?"

"Watch your tongue! You aren't the same." He gripped my arm and shoved me on the floor.

"Sweatheart, can you please go to the study and let me take care of this?" He stroked her hair gently with his hand and planted a soft kiss on her cheek.

All I could do was just stand there like a fool and watch them be lovey-dovey. It was just like a knife was being struck into my chest and being twisted at that.

I was out of breath; I couldn't form words either; all I could do was cry, knowing all those words of love and care were just a lie. Now that I looked at the woman closely, I noticed the striking resemblance between us.

We both had long, overflowing black hair, green mystical orbs, glossy pink lips, and similar cheekbones. It was almost as if I was looking at my reflection except for the nose, and she had more curves than I do.

"Why did you marry me?" I asked, praying within me for his answer to be negative. I don't think I would be able to stand by the truth.

"For a business transaction, why are you this dumb, Aysel? Remember, I took you to my grandparents to sign a deal? You are meant for business, and it is over!" He grins, his face tightening, and my legs wobble. My hands shake, beads of sweat forming on my forehead. I fell to the ground with a loud thud, not minding the pain. The pain was nothing compared to what I was feeling in my heart right now.

"I was having difficulty getting a deal from my grandpa; the old folk said I must get married before he could answer me. You made getting married easier for me by jumping into my arms. I knew you had a motive; that was that I didn’t propose a contract marriage then. Who meets a lover within a month and gets married. My love is back, and the storm is over. I need a divorce." He flung a paper at me harshly; the paper hit me on my face aggressively, and the pin holding it gave me a tear on my cheek, but I didn't care about that or the pain.

I was still trying to sink his words into me. He needed a divorce. I was still trying to process all I had heard, knowing I had given up everything for nothing. Now he wants a divorce?

Does he want to ruin me completely?

My mind raced with disbelief as I struggled to come to terms with what he wanted.

"Sign the papers," he ordered, but I refused, looking him in the eyes to witness the complete hatred he had for me in it. That just made me cry more.

Where was the guy who looked at me with adoration, who provided me everything I wanted, or was it just an illusion? We met in New York, where he came to my company for a business deal.

He approached me first, wooed me with sweet words till I fell for him completely and gave him my heart, and now he was bruising it. I left my family, my big break at work, my dream job, and everything just to be with him because I thought he was worth it, but now I was realizing I sacrificed everything for nothing.

I was used instead to get over an old lover who looked like me, and now that she was back, I was being tossed away like a bag of trash.

“Aysel, I have done what I consider the best; setting you free is the best I can ever do. I can't see you making sacrifices to make it work between us; go and never come back.”

"No, no, please. I don't have anyone or anything in my name. I left everything behind for you; don't abandon me like this," I pleaded, crying and hiccuping at the same time. I could feel the maids looking at me; pity was obvious in their glance.

But all I got was a deep cackle.

"How pathetic! I never told you to leave everything behind for me, so don't try to guilt-trip me; it was your choice and yours alone." He roared and kicked my hands off his leg with his other leg, hurting and bruising my hand in the process.

“What else do you want from me? I paid for your services and told you to spend my money as you wish, but you keep pretending that you don’t like money. Because of pretense, I have set aside 100,000 dollars for you to start your life; that should be enough. If you had come out of your true color, who knows, you might walk away with a big bag today,” he snickered.

“I don't want your money; I want you; just pretend you love me,” I muttered.

“Are you blind to the fact that I can never love you? Or you are too dumb to process it; if truly you love me, leave this house without anything and never come back, then I might think about you being a good person; get the hell out of my life,” he snarled.

His words pierced through my heart like a sharp knife, leaving an unbearable ache that spread through my entire being. I fell to the ground; I could not believe a man. I left everything for him to consider me a whore. If not a whore who got paid after service, who else could it be?. My head was spinning, but I didn't care. I just kept pleading, but all my pleas went into his deaf ears. 

"Guards, please bundle this nuisance out of here. Her mere presence makes my skin crawl.".

"Fine, I will sign and leave without anything, but you will regret this." I mustered courage and signed the divorce paper.

"Leave without anything he commanded.