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Kabanata 31.1 - Envelope
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2024-10-29 19:42:56I couldn't contain it, I just want to cry and cry all day pero pinigilan ko dahil ayokong makita niyang umiiyak ako. Ayokong makita niyang mahina ako ngayon.
"You knew yet you didn't even told me? How dare you, Isaiah!" my voice thundered.
Agad na napalitan ng pagkabahala ang itsura niya. Lumapit ito sa akin para pakalmahin ako pero bawat pagdampi ng kamay niya sa balat ko, siya namang pag-iwas ko. Panay ang paghampas ko rito, hindi ko na naisip kung nasasaktan ba siya kasi ako, sobrang nasasaktan ako!
I told him everything, wala akong nilihim sakaniya. Alam niya kung gaano ko kagustong malaman ang dahilan kung bakit ayaw sa'kin ng pamilya ko, alam niya kung gaano ako katakot makagawa ng pagkakamali dahil baka tuluyan na nila akong hindi tanggapin. Alam niya rin kung gaano ako kapursigidong matanggap ng pamilya ko, na ultimo sarili kong pangarap binitawan ko para lang matanggap ako. He knows how much I hate liars yet he lied to me! He knows how hard is it for me to trust someone yet he broke my trust. He knows everything about me..
"I'm sorry.. I'm not in the right position to tell you. Ayokong pangunahan ang mga magulang mo kaya—"
I slapped him.
"Don't fucking make excuses! It won't change the fact that you lied to me.. you fucking betrayed me. Everytime we're talking about how much they hated me, you had a fucking chance to tell me but you chose to hide it. You chose to comfort me with your flowery lies! Putang ina, Isaiah, nandoon ka noong gabing nalaman ko 'yon, sinundan mo 'ko no'n pero ni isang beses hindi mo sinabi sa'kin na alam mo na pala. Na mas nauna mo pang nalaman kesa sa'kin! Lahat kayo, pinagmukha niyo 'kong tanga!" I cried.
I wipe away all my tears, I can't be weak right now. Ayoko na maging mahina, ayoko na ng ganito. He's the last man I think would betray me. Ang sakit, p**a.
"Baby.. you have to calm down first." He grabbed my hand but I pushed it away.
Hindi ako makatingin sakaniya dahil ayokong makita siyang nasasaktan. He is my weakness and I can't be weak right now. I took my bag, ready to leave.
"You're right, I should calm down first. Huwag ka munang magpapakita sa'kin, we'll talk about this some other time," sambit ko. I tried to sound cold, I hope I did.
Dali dali akong lumabas doon at nagdrive patungo sa ospital. I stayed for about five minutes inside my car para pakalmahin at ayusin ang sarili ko. Ayokong makita nila Papa na ganito ako, kagigising niya lang tapos ganito agad ang bubungad sakaniya.
I smiled widely as much as possible nang makapasok ako sa loob dala ang mga prutas at pizza na binili ko. Agad na nilantakan nila bunso yon, ako naman ay dumeretso sa tabi ni Papa. He looks fine now. Niyakap ko agad ito.
"I'm sorry.." I whispered.
I wipe away the tears that falls down my eyes. Kakasabi ko lang kanina na dapat masaya ako ngayon, bakit naman kailangan pang umiyak.
"It's not your fault. Everything will be fine, anak.." aniya.
Kumalas na 'ko sa pagkakayakap dahil baka mas lao akong maiyak. We talked and eat together, sinumbong din nila ako kay Papa kaya pinagalitan ako nito. Somehow, I doesn't feel like I don't belong. Walang nagbago sa trato nila sa'kin, and I can't help but to be thankful that I have them. Pero hindi ko pa rin maiwasang isipin yung katotohanang hindi naman talaga ako parte ng pamilyang 'to.
"Treia, nakita ko 'to sa mailbox, naka address sa pangalan mo," sambit ni ate at may inabot na envelope sa'kin, katulad nung envelope na pinakta sa'kin ni Rio. Oh my God!
I opened it and I'm right, nakapasa ako sa film school na 'yon. Nanginginig ako habang binabasa ang mga nakalagay, tumulo na rin ang mga luha ko kaya agad na nagtungo sa'kin sila Mama para tanungin kung anong nangyari sa'kin.
I'm overwhelmed, hindi ako makapagsalita. Buong akala ko'y hindi ako makakapasa doon. Sobrang saya ko pero agad din namang napalitan 'yon ng pangamba. Hindi nga pala ito kasama sa plano ko, nonsense rin kung nakapasa ako dahil hindi naman ako mag-aaral doon.
"Hala, Mama! Nakapasa si Treia sa sikat na film school sa New York!" sigaw ni Ate.
Tiningnan ko ang bawat reaction nila, sobrang saya ngunit halata ang lungkot at pangamba sa itsura nila Mama at Papa. They know how much I love filming but they also know that I can't pursue it. But maybe, maybe I can pursue it this time? I want to be independent, ayokong habang buhay na dumepende sakanila. This time, I want to decide on my own. I want to stand on my own, hindi dahil sa nalaman kong hindi nila ako anak, kung hindi dahil gusto kong patunayan na kaya kong mag-isa.
Napatingin ako kay Mama, halata ang lungkot sa mukha niya. Naramdaman ni ate 'yon kaya niyaya niya muna si bunso na lumabas sandali. I want to talk to them.
"Ma, hindi po ako nagpapaalam.. gusto ko lang pong ipaalam sainyo kung anong plano ko. You know how much I love this, you also know how much I love our family. Gusto ko pong magpasalamat dahil.." tumigil ako ng bahagya, hindi ko na napigilan ang pag-iyak. ".. dahil tinuring niyo 'kong totoo niyong anak. You are still my mother and Papa is still my father. And I know you would understand me if I want to do this alone. Kaya ko na po.." sambit ko.
I stopped midway to breathe some air. Sumasakit na ang lalamunan ko at nanlalabo na ang mata ko dahil sa kakaiyak.
"I want to grow independently and I know I won't grow if I'm on your wings. I want you to let me go, by that, I know I'll grow and conquer everything," dugtong ko.
Marahan akong sinabunutan ni Mama kaya natawa nalang ako. Lumapit din siya sa'kin para yumakap, si Papa naman at tahimik lang kaming tinitingnan.
"Sino bang may sabi na pipigilan kita dyan sa gusto mo? Isa lang ang pangarap ko sayo, 'yon ay ang maging masaya ka. If setting you free will make you the happiest, then I'll let you go," aniya.
I felt relieved about what she said. Pati si Papa ay nakisali sa yakapan namin. I know he's sad about my decisions but I also know that he will always support me in everything.
"Tumatanda na talaga ang mga anak natin, baka sa susunod niyan si Treia na ang magpapakasal!" Papa joked.
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Behind the Scene Kabanata 31.3 - Despidida
"Joke 'yon, beh?" Grace sarcastically said, she even rolled her eyes at me.Natawa lalo ako sa reaction nila. Tumayo pa si Grace at nag walk out, sa kitchen yata pumunta. Wait, is she serious?"Sa tingin mo matutuwa kami knowing na aalis ka?" si Iris. Mukhang seryoso ito at galit na nakatingin sa'kin.Natahimik ako dahil doon. Kakaibang despidida party yata ang napuntahan ko. Magsasalita na sana ako nang maunahan ako ni Mads."Aalis siya? Saan ka pupunta?" inosenteng tanong nito.Napa-face palm ako, binatukan naman siya ni Kendall at si Grasya na nag-walk out ay tumawa ng malakas, rinig na rinig siya sa buong penthouse.
Behind the Scene Kabanata 31.2 - Camera and Album
Muntik na 'kong masamid dahil sa sinabi niya. They doesn't know about what happened to us, wala rin akong balak sabihin sa kahit na kanino. As much as possible, I want to keep our problems. Baka kasi mas lalo lang lumaki kapag pinagsabi namin sa iba, mas maraming nakakaalam, mas magulo.Lumipas ang mga araw, pinayagan nang umuwi si Papa dahil maayos na ang lagay nito ngunit hindi muna siya pwedeng pumasok sa trabaho dahil kailangan niya pang magpahinga ng ilang araw. Isaiah is always sending me a message, tuloy tuloy pa rin siya sa pagpapaalala sa'kin sa mga dapat kong gawin araw-araw. Minsan nga nakakalimutan ko nang kumain pero dahil sa message niya, bigla kong naaalala. Tinupad niya naman yung pakiusap ko na huwag muna siyang magpakita sa'kin at sa ilang araw na 'yon, nakapag-isip isip na 'ko.I already booked a ticket, bukas ng gabi na ang flight namin papunta sa New York, sabay kami ni Ri
Behind the Scene Kabanata 31.1 - Envelope
I couldn't contain it, I just want to cry and cry all day pero pinigilan ko dahil ayokong makita niyang umiiyak ako. Ayokong makita niyang mahina ako ngayon."You knew yet you didn't even told me? How dare you, Isaiah!" my voice thundered.Agad na napalitan ng pagkabahala ang itsura niya. Lumapit ito sa akin para pakalmahin ako pero bawat pagdampi ng kamay niya sa balat ko, siya namang pag-iwas ko. Panay ang paghampas ko rito, hindi ko na naisip kung nasasaktan ba siya kasi ako, sobrang nasasaktan ako!I told him everything, wala akong nilihim sakaniya. Alam niya kung gaano ko kagustong malaman ang dahilan kung bakit ayaw sa'kin ng pamilya ko, alam niya kung gaano ako katakot makagawa ng pagkakamali dahil baka tuluyan na nila akong hindi tanggapin. Alam niya rin kung gaano ako
Behind the Scene Kabanata 30.2 - Betrayed
Nagpasya akong umalis sa hospital noong araw na 'yon, I drive all the way to Isaiah. Sigurado akong nasa condo lang siya. He's sick, mag-isa lang siya roon kaya walang nag-aalaga sakaniya. I felt bad becase of it, I should be the one to take care of him, ni hindi niya sinabing may sakit pala siya. The hell, Treia, you're out of your fucking mind for the past days!Dumaan ako sa fastfood restaurant at pharmacy para bumili ng makakain at ng gamot. I have spare key kaya madali kong nabuksan ang room niya. I saw him on the couch nakahiga ito at hindi pa nagpalit ng damit, mukhang kagagaling lang sa trabaho. He looks tired and cold, nakayakap siya sa sarili niya at nanginginig pa.My baby's sick.Ibinaba ko ang mga binili ko at agad na nagtungo sakaniya. I held his cheeks, mainit ito. Bahagyang dumilat ang mata niya, kasunod no'n ang paghaplos niya sa kamay kong nakahawak sa pi
Behind the Scene Kabanata 30.1 - Unstable
Kararating lang namin sa ospital, my father is in the ICU, fighting for his life. Sumabay nalang ako kay Isaiah patungo rito, hindi ko kasi alam kung kaya ko bang mag drive knowing that one of the important person in my life is in danger. Iniwan namin ang kotse ko roon, he promised to take care of that. Isaiah never leave my side, my mother is also here with us, nakaupo lang kami sa labas ng ICU habang hinihintay na matapos ang operasyon. Si Ate naman hinatid daw pauwi si bunso pauwi. No one told me what happened to Papa, parang iwas silang lahat sa'kin nang dumating ako, even my mother.Napatayo kami nang makarinig ng ingay, patungo sa'min si Tita at mukhang galit na galit. Huminto siya sa harap ko, akmang sasampalin na 'ko ngunit naiwan sa ere ang kamay niya at dinuro-duro nalang ako nang makita kung sinong nasa tabi ko."You.. this is all your fault!" her voice thundered.
