"She really looked like me, siguro sakaniya ako pinaglihi ni Mama." I chuckled.
We were eating dinner together, na-topic ko rin yung nakita ko sa ancestral house ng Lola, yung picture nung babaeng kamukha ko. I found out that she is my mother's younger sister. Her name is Charizze and she died too young daw. Felt bad for her, gusto ko pa naman siyang makita.
"Too bad I didn't get the chance to meet her," dugtong ko.
They were so silent the whole time, nagulat pa si Mama kanina nang tanungin ko ang tungkol doon pero sinabi niya rin naman kalaunan dahil panay ang kulit ko rito.
"Finish your food, Treia.. We're going to meet our relatives tomorrow night, are you sure you want to come?" Papa change the topic.
Oh, speaking of the family dinner. Agad na nabalot ng kaba ang buong pagkatao ko. Nakalimutan kong may family dinner pala kami, isa na namang dagok ang haharapin ko. I sipped on my water before answering my father's question.
"Of course I want to come, don't worry about me.." I smiled at them before continue to eat.
Napuyat ako noong gabing 'yon dahil inaalala ko ang magaganap kinabukasan, hindi ako nakatulog nang ayos dahil doon kaya tanghali na nang magising ako. Isaiah visited me in our house, siya rin ang gumising sa'kin kaya gulat na gulat ako kanina. Wala daw kasi siyang pasok.
We were in the kitchen baking some cookies, pinangakuan niya kasi akong magbebake daw kami together. Akala ko naman sa condo niya, dito pala sa bahay. He already brought ingredients and we still have time so nag bake nga kami. I want to master baking because I promised to bake him a cake on his birthday. Pinilit niya 'ko kaya wala na 'kong nagawa, I want to surprise him pa naman..
"This looks gross, baby. It doesn't looks like a cookie, it looks like a poop!" I told him.
He chuckled because of my reaction. Paano ba naman, mukhang tae talaga yung cookies na ginawa ko. Gusto ko na ngang itapon pero ayokong masayang ang pagod ko, baka pangit lang tingnan pero masarap naman ang lasa. Sana nga ganoon 'yon.
Wala na 'kong nagawa nang ilagay na ni Isaiah sa oven 'yon. Habang naghihintay, bigla niya kong pinahiran ng flour sa mukha. Pawis na pawis ako tapos pinahiran niya ko no'n, ang lagkit tuloy sa pakiramdam. I'm pissed kaya pinahiran ko rin siya ng flour. Yung inis ko kanina, naging tuwa nang makita ko yung mukha niya, hindi siya umalma nang lagyan kong muli ang mukha niya. Nilagyan ko siyang bigote tapos dalawang circle sa mata at tig tatlong line sa pisngi, parang pusa.
I took his phone and take a picture of him. Nag-picture din kami together habang hinihintay na tumunog yung timer. Isa isa naming tiningnan yung pictures, lahat 'yon maganda.
"Post that one," utos nito. Tiningnan ko yung litratong tinutukoy niya, picture naming dalawa 'yon. Hinalikan niya 'ko sa pisngi bigla kaya gulat na masaya yung reaction ko, we looked cute and inlove on that photo.
Kinuha ko ang phone ko para sana ipasa yung picture na 'yon nang pigilan niya 'ko.
"Why? You told me to post this one, 'di ba?" I asked. Naguguluhan ako sakaniya.
"Post it on my account," pagtatama nito at tinuro pa yung phone niya gamit ang nguso niya. Napakunot ang noo ko dahil sa sinabi niya.
"Why don't you post it? It's your account, Isaiah," sambit ko rito.
We don't usually check each other's account, ni hindi rin kami nagsabihan ng password ng isa't-isa because we both value our privacy and also, we trust each other. There are times that he lets me hold his phone but I didn't used that as an opportunity to see what's in his phone. Hindi lang kami yung tipo ng couple na magpapalitan pa ng account, I don't know.
"I want you to post it on my account, baby," pagtatama niya.
Wala na 'kong nagawa kung hindi gawin ang gusto niya. I opened his I* and posted that specific picture of us. I also tagged myself. I was about to hit the post button when he stops me.
"Put 'my wife' as a caption, please," aniya at ngumuso pa.
Lumapit ito sa'kin at agad akong niyakap patagilid. Ipinatong niya ang baba sa balikat ko at pasimple itong hinahalikan. Kumunot ang noo ko at nagtaka.
"I'm not even your wife.. yet," the last word was almost a whisper.
I heard him chuckled, tumindig ang balahibo ko sa tawa niyang 'yon.
"Alright. But soon, you will be. For now, put 'my girl' as a caption.. wait until it turns my wife," ibinulong niya ang huling sentence kaya agad na nag-init ang pisngi ko.
My heart is beating loudly now. Nanginginig pa ang kamay ko nang i-type ang sinabi niya. After few seconds, the picture of us is already posted. Tumunog na rin yung timer hudyat na tapos na yung cookies namin. Nagpresinta si Isaiah na siya na ang kukuha no'n kaya naiwan akong mag-isa habang hawak ang phone niya. Nasa I* pa rin ito kaya nag-scroll lang ako sa feed niya, he usually posted pictures of us at nakita ko na ang mga 'yon, ilang beses na. But seeing it now, kinikilig pa rin ako. He's so proud of having me.. Mas marami pa yata ang picture namin together kesa sa picture niya mag-isa.
We ate the cookies we baked, masarap 'yon pero hindi nga lang maganda tingnan, pero at least masarap! Nagpasya na 'kong mag-ayos nang dumating ang hapon, narito pa rin si Isaiah, mamaya na raw siya uuwi kapag paalis na kami. Ayos lang naman kila Mama.
Today is our baby time but since I have to attend to our family dinner, hindi na naman kami magkakasama. Buti nalang at pumunta siya dito. Abala na rin kasi siya sa work niya kaya hindi na kami usually nagkikita, twice or thrice a week nalang unlike before na everday niya 'kong binibisita. But we do video calls everyday, minsan kapag free time niya sa work. He looks more matured now, not that I find him immature before. Noon palang naman mukha na talaga siyang grown up man, mas nagmukha lang siyang matured talaga ngayong nagtatrabaho na siya.
"Should I wear this.." itinaas ko ang isang champagne dress para ipakita sakaniya. ".. or this one?" dugtong ko at itinaas naman ang maroon na dress. He chose the maroon one dahil ang sexy ko raw tingnan doon sa champagne dress, gusto niyang siya lang ang makakakita no'n.
He blow dried my hair habang naglalagay ako ng light makeup sa mukha, he's too serious while doing that kaya I took my phone and filmed us, wala akong balak i-post 'yon, gusto ko lang talagang i-film para sa memories.
"I'm nervous.." sambit ko.
To be honest, kagabi pa 'ko kinakabahan. I only felt this kind of nervousness when I'm meeting with our relatives. Siguro nga ganito talaga yung mararamdaman mo kapag makakaharap mo yung mga taong gusto mong i-pleased. Daig pa ang kaba sa final defense.
"Just be yourself, 'kay?" he whispered and gently hugged me from behind.
"I love you.." dugtong nito, he lean closer and kissed the back of my ears. This is the first time he said those three words. Pakiramdam ko nagwawala na yung puso ko sa sobrang bilis ng tibok.
I held his hand and feel his hug. His words is like a music to my ears, with him I feel at ease..
After preparing, nagpasya kaming magtungo na sa pupuntahan. Nauna nang umalis si Isaiah. Kinakabahan pa 'ko habang papunta kami kaya si Ate ang pinag-drive ko ng sasakyan. She keeps on asking me kung sigurado na raw ba ako, pwede pa naman daw kaming umatras. Iniirapan ko nalang ito.
Nang makarating ay agad kaming sinalubong ng mga Tita at Tito kasama ang mga anak nito. Madaming pagkain at kahit relatives lang ang narito ngayon ay halatang pinaghandaan pa rin.
"Good evening po.." I kissed them one by one. Halata agad ang tension between us, ang awkward tuloy.
Nang makumpleto kami ay nagsimula na kaming kumain. I am silent the whole time, buti nalang hindi nila ako tinatanong ng kung ano-ano gaya noong mga nakaraang family gathering namin. Nakahinga ako nang maluwag nang matapos ang kainan at nag-proceed lahat sa garden para roon mag-usap.
Nanatili lang kami sa loob ni Ate at bunso kasama ang mga pinsan namin na kaedaran ko lang ang iba. Halos lahat sila ay mukhang ayaw sa'kin, pwera nalang doon sa mga bata pa kaya sila nalang ang nilalapitan ko. May ibang kinakausap si Ate kaya hindi ko naman malapitan ito, si bunso naman ay abala sa iPad niya kalaro ang ibang pinsan namin kaya heto ako ngayon, hawak ang five years old kong pinsan na hinihila ako patungong kitchen. Gusto niya raw ng chocolate at may chocolate daw sa refrigerator kaya kunin daw namin 'yon. Wala naman akong nagawa kung hindi kunin at ibigay sakaniya 'yon.
"I heard you and Nikolai Jauregui are dating, is that true?" tanong ng pinsan kong babae, si Cleah. Sinundan niya ba 'ko dito sa kitchen para lang itanong 'yon?Tumango nalang ako nang hindi siya nililingon. She pour wine on her glass and sipped on it. Ramdam ko naman ang mapanghusgang tingin na iginawad niya sa'kin. Don't tell me she like Isaiah?"Just so you know.. I like Nikolai since the day I met him in a bar, you should break up with him, can you do that for me? If you did, maybe I could ask our family to accept you na.."The fuck is that? She wants me to do what? Break up with Isaiah kapalit ng pagtanggap sa'kin ng family ko? She's insane!"Sorry, I can't do that.. and if I did, I don't know if Isaiah
Kararating lang namin sa ospital, my father is in the ICU, fighting for his life. Sumabay nalang ako kay Isaiah patungo rito, hindi ko kasi alam kung kaya ko bang mag drive knowing that one of the important person in my life is in danger. Iniwan namin ang kotse ko roon, he promised to take care of that. Isaiah never leave my side, my mother is also here with us, nakaupo lang kami sa labas ng ICU habang hinihintay na matapos ang operasyon. Si Ate naman hinatid daw pauwi si bunso pauwi. No one told me what happened to Papa, parang iwas silang lahat sa'kin nang dumating ako, even my mother.Napatayo kami nang makarinig ng ingay, patungo sa'min si Tita at mukhang galit na galit. Huminto siya sa harap ko, akmang sasampalin na 'ko ngunit naiwan sa ere ang kamay niya at dinuro-duro nalang ako nang makita kung sinong nasa tabi ko."You.. this is all your fault!" her voice thundered.
Nagpasya akong umalis sa hospital noong araw na 'yon, I drive all the way to Isaiah. Sigurado akong nasa condo lang siya. He's sick, mag-isa lang siya roon kaya walang nag-aalaga sakaniya. I felt bad becase of it, I should be the one to take care of him, ni hindi niya sinabing may sakit pala siya. The hell, Treia, you're out of your fucking mind for the past days!Dumaan ako sa fastfood restaurant at pharmacy para bumili ng makakain at ng gamot. I have spare key kaya madali kong nabuksan ang room niya. I saw him on the couch nakahiga ito at hindi pa nagpalit ng damit, mukhang kagagaling lang sa trabaho. He looks tired and cold, nakayakap siya sa sarili niya at nanginginig pa.My baby's sick.Ibinaba ko ang mga binili ko at agad na nagtungo sakaniya. I held his cheeks, mainit ito. Bahagyang dumilat ang mata niya, kasunod no'n ang paghaplos niya sa kamay kong nakahawak sa pi
I couldn't contain it, I just want to cry and cry all day pero pinigilan ko dahil ayokong makita niyang umiiyak ako. Ayokong makita niyang mahina ako ngayon."You knew yet you didn't even told me? How dare you, Isaiah!" my voice thundered.Agad na napalitan ng pagkabahala ang itsura niya. Lumapit ito sa akin para pakalmahin ako pero bawat pagdampi ng kamay niya sa balat ko, siya namang pag-iwas ko. Panay ang paghampas ko rito, hindi ko na naisip kung nasasaktan ba siya kasi ako, sobrang nasasaktan ako!I told him everything, wala akong nilihim sakaniya. Alam niya kung gaano ko kagustong malaman ang dahilan kung bakit ayaw sa'kin ng pamilya ko, alam niya kung gaano ako katakot makagawa ng pagkakamali dahil baka tuluyan na nila akong hindi tanggapin. Alam niya rin kung gaano ako
Muntik na 'kong masamid dahil sa sinabi niya. They doesn't know about what happened to us, wala rin akong balak sabihin sa kahit na kanino. As much as possible, I want to keep our problems. Baka kasi mas lalo lang lumaki kapag pinagsabi namin sa iba, mas maraming nakakaalam, mas magulo.Lumipas ang mga araw, pinayagan nang umuwi si Papa dahil maayos na ang lagay nito ngunit hindi muna siya pwedeng pumasok sa trabaho dahil kailangan niya pang magpahinga ng ilang araw. Isaiah is always sending me a message, tuloy tuloy pa rin siya sa pagpapaalala sa'kin sa mga dapat kong gawin araw-araw. Minsan nga nakakalimutan ko nang kumain pero dahil sa message niya, bigla kong naaalala. Tinupad niya naman yung pakiusap ko na huwag muna siyang magpakita sa'kin at sa ilang araw na 'yon, nakapag-isip isip na 'ko.I already booked a ticket, bukas ng gabi na ang flight namin papunta sa New York, sabay kami ni Ri
"Joke 'yon, beh?" Grace sarcastically said, she even rolled her eyes at me.Natawa lalo ako sa reaction nila. Tumayo pa si Grace at nag walk out, sa kitchen yata pumunta. Wait, is she serious?"Sa tingin mo matutuwa kami knowing na aalis ka?" si Iris. Mukhang seryoso ito at galit na nakatingin sa'kin.Natahimik ako dahil doon. Kakaibang despidida party yata ang napuntahan ko. Magsasalita na sana ako nang maunahan ako ni Mads."Aalis siya? Saan ka pupunta?" inosenteng tanong nito.Napa-face palm ako, binatukan naman siya ni Kendall at si Grasya na nag-walk out ay tumawa ng malakas, rinig na rinig siya sa buong penthouse.
Isaiah’s Point of View"Hoy Treia, come here!" Chandria said, referring to the girl who went inside their house.Chandria is one of my brother's friend and we are here in their house. Isagani bring me with him because I will be left alone in our house, it's fine being alone though, I can call Mateo and play basketball with him but my mother insisted and told me to join my brother.My brother has a lot of circle of friends and I can say that this circle is the most special for him. I've known them for years because they usually hang out in our house.The girl who was about to go upstairs suddenly stopped walking and faced us. She looks tired, her hair is in a messy bun and her face is covered with sweat. She's holding a bunch of paper on her hand whil
Isaiah’s Point of ViewDays went slowly, ganoon yata talaga kapag may inaabangan kang araw, mas bumabagal ang oras. We are here at the plaza waiting for the event to start. I chose the seat near the stage para makita ko siya nang malapitan, I want to see her performing. The other reason is I want her to see me watching and supporting her."Uy, pre! Ayan na yung crush mo, yung crush mo pre! Whoa, go crush ni Nikolai!" sigaw ni Mateo. Sana pala hindi ko na sinama ang ungas na 'to.God knows how many times I cursed Mateo in my mind. Mabuti nalang at maingay ang crowd, natatabunan ang sigaw niya. I'm watching my girl intently as she performed, she act, dance and sang and I can't help but to be proud of her. Hindi ko na mabilang kung ilang beses kong isinigaw ang pangalan niya o kung ilang beses akong napapalaklak. I feel l
Isaiah’s Point of View "I break hearts..” I thought she's just kidding when she said that, never thought it was real. We became close as weeks passed by. It started when I lend her my clothes, I intentionally forget to took it from her so that I could get the chance to be with her again. As days passes by, she became comfortable with me. I worked really hard to gain her trust, it's not that easy but I manage to do it. All my life, I'm so used to be called Nikolai or Niko but here's Treia, she chose to call me Isaiah instead. I really hated that name before but hearing her calling me that way, God knows how much I thank my parents for giving me such name. It is like a music to my ears and everytime she's calling me that way, I felt alive. She's the only one who have the privilege to call me that. "It's not easy son but we have connections so leave it to me, I'll sue everyone who harmed your girl!” Dad said, full of authority. He called someone from his team to do me a favor, my f
Isaiah’s Point of View"Dude, yung crush mo ‘yon ‘di ba?" bulong ni Mateo.I glance at the group of girls coming our way, they sit on the couch near us. One of them caught my attention, it's her again, the only woman that caught my attention. I didn't respond to Mateo, nanatili akong nakaupo roon habang pasimpleng nakatanaw sakaniya. But damn, hindi nakakatulong ang ingay ni Paul at Davis."Sino bang type mo dyan, bro?" Paul asked, he's not yet wasted, they are in their usual self, mahilig mangolekta ng babae.I shoot dagger-like stares at them but it seems like they didn't even care. I don't know why we ended up being friends, si Mateo ang pinakamalapit sa’kin at nakilala ko lang si Paul at Davis nitong college na. Nakakasundo ko sila sa ibang bagay pero pagdating sa trip n
Isaiah’s Point of ViewDays went slowly, ganoon yata talaga kapag may inaabangan kang araw, mas bumabagal ang oras. We are here at the plaza waiting for the event to start. I chose the seat near the stage para makita ko siya nang malapitan, I want to see her performing. The other reason is I want her to see me watching and supporting her."Uy, pre! Ayan na yung crush mo, yung crush mo pre! Whoa, go crush ni Nikolai!" sigaw ni Mateo. Sana pala hindi ko na sinama ang ungas na 'to.God knows how many times I cursed Mateo in my mind. Mabuti nalang at maingay ang crowd, natatabunan ang sigaw niya. I'm watching my girl intently as she performed, she act, dance and sang and I can't help but to be proud of her. Hindi ko na mabilang kung ilang beses kong isinigaw ang pangalan niya o kung ilang beses akong napapalaklak. I feel l
Isaiah’s Point of View"Hoy Treia, come here!" Chandria said, referring to the girl who went inside their house.Chandria is one of my brother's friend and we are here in their house. Isagani bring me with him because I will be left alone in our house, it's fine being alone though, I can call Mateo and play basketball with him but my mother insisted and told me to join my brother.My brother has a lot of circle of friends and I can say that this circle is the most special for him. I've known them for years because they usually hang out in our house.The girl who was about to go upstairs suddenly stopped walking and faced us. She looks tired, her hair is in a messy bun and her face is covered with sweat. She's holding a bunch of paper on her hand whil
"Joke 'yon, beh?" Grace sarcastically said, she even rolled her eyes at me.Natawa lalo ako sa reaction nila. Tumayo pa si Grace at nag walk out, sa kitchen yata pumunta. Wait, is she serious?"Sa tingin mo matutuwa kami knowing na aalis ka?" si Iris. Mukhang seryoso ito at galit na nakatingin sa'kin.Natahimik ako dahil doon. Kakaibang despidida party yata ang napuntahan ko. Magsasalita na sana ako nang maunahan ako ni Mads."Aalis siya? Saan ka pupunta?" inosenteng tanong nito.Napa-face palm ako, binatukan naman siya ni Kendall at si Grasya na nag-walk out ay tumawa ng malakas, rinig na rinig siya sa buong penthouse.
Muntik na 'kong masamid dahil sa sinabi niya. They doesn't know about what happened to us, wala rin akong balak sabihin sa kahit na kanino. As much as possible, I want to keep our problems. Baka kasi mas lalo lang lumaki kapag pinagsabi namin sa iba, mas maraming nakakaalam, mas magulo.Lumipas ang mga araw, pinayagan nang umuwi si Papa dahil maayos na ang lagay nito ngunit hindi muna siya pwedeng pumasok sa trabaho dahil kailangan niya pang magpahinga ng ilang araw. Isaiah is always sending me a message, tuloy tuloy pa rin siya sa pagpapaalala sa'kin sa mga dapat kong gawin araw-araw. Minsan nga nakakalimutan ko nang kumain pero dahil sa message niya, bigla kong naaalala. Tinupad niya naman yung pakiusap ko na huwag muna siyang magpakita sa'kin at sa ilang araw na 'yon, nakapag-isip isip na 'ko.I already booked a ticket, bukas ng gabi na ang flight namin papunta sa New York, sabay kami ni Ri
I couldn't contain it, I just want to cry and cry all day pero pinigilan ko dahil ayokong makita niyang umiiyak ako. Ayokong makita niyang mahina ako ngayon."You knew yet you didn't even told me? How dare you, Isaiah!" my voice thundered.Agad na napalitan ng pagkabahala ang itsura niya. Lumapit ito sa akin para pakalmahin ako pero bawat pagdampi ng kamay niya sa balat ko, siya namang pag-iwas ko. Panay ang paghampas ko rito, hindi ko na naisip kung nasasaktan ba siya kasi ako, sobrang nasasaktan ako!I told him everything, wala akong nilihim sakaniya. Alam niya kung gaano ko kagustong malaman ang dahilan kung bakit ayaw sa'kin ng pamilya ko, alam niya kung gaano ako katakot makagawa ng pagkakamali dahil baka tuluyan na nila akong hindi tanggapin. Alam niya rin kung gaano ako
Nagpasya akong umalis sa hospital noong araw na 'yon, I drive all the way to Isaiah. Sigurado akong nasa condo lang siya. He's sick, mag-isa lang siya roon kaya walang nag-aalaga sakaniya. I felt bad becase of it, I should be the one to take care of him, ni hindi niya sinabing may sakit pala siya. The hell, Treia, you're out of your fucking mind for the past days!Dumaan ako sa fastfood restaurant at pharmacy para bumili ng makakain at ng gamot. I have spare key kaya madali kong nabuksan ang room niya. I saw him on the couch nakahiga ito at hindi pa nagpalit ng damit, mukhang kagagaling lang sa trabaho. He looks tired and cold, nakayakap siya sa sarili niya at nanginginig pa.My baby's sick.Ibinaba ko ang mga binili ko at agad na nagtungo sakaniya. I held his cheeks, mainit ito. Bahagyang dumilat ang mata niya, kasunod no'n ang paghaplos niya sa kamay kong nakahawak sa pi
Kararating lang namin sa ospital, my father is in the ICU, fighting for his life. Sumabay nalang ako kay Isaiah patungo rito, hindi ko kasi alam kung kaya ko bang mag drive knowing that one of the important person in my life is in danger. Iniwan namin ang kotse ko roon, he promised to take care of that. Isaiah never leave my side, my mother is also here with us, nakaupo lang kami sa labas ng ICU habang hinihintay na matapos ang operasyon. Si Ate naman hinatid daw pauwi si bunso pauwi. No one told me what happened to Papa, parang iwas silang lahat sa'kin nang dumating ako, even my mother.Napatayo kami nang makarinig ng ingay, patungo sa'min si Tita at mukhang galit na galit. Huminto siya sa harap ko, akmang sasampalin na 'ko ngunit naiwan sa ere ang kamay niya at dinuro-duro nalang ako nang makita kung sinong nasa tabi ko."You.. this is all your fault!" her voice thundered.