Abyss in the sea of memories

Sunday afternoon, while enjoying my day off from my two part time jobs. Dad called, asking if I already ate, what did I ate and how am I doing. He's a big worrier. He's always anxious that I might not be taking care of myself. Others might find it annoying because I'm a grown up man now. I'm already 26, yet Dad treats me like I'm still a baby. But it's rare for someone who isn't related to you by blood, cares for you too much. And I'm grateful for that. "Just don't get sick, ok? Tell me right away if you do. I'll call you again, Kyle. Bye!" he said before he hangs up. I unmuted the TV and lay down on my sofa comfortably. I can't blame him for being so overly worried about me. I've been in and out of the hospital for a month now. In random days, I get fever. Sometimes,

I look down from the bridge and waited for her to come through the surface. I wait and wait, but she doesn't seem to emerge from the water. The cold wind started to blew a mizzle of rain over us. I cross over the edge, planning to jump and save her. There's another way down to the bridge but It'll take much time. "NO!!! KYLE, STOP!" Allen shouted, as he and Hue run towards me. "I HAVE TO SAVE HER!! CALL AN AMBULANCE, HUE!" "I SAID NO, KYLE! THIS IS TOO DANGEROUS! You both could die!" Allen gripped on my arms. "Or survive, Allen! Do you want her to end up like your brother? We have to save her!" He looked at me in the eye and slowly released my arms. I can see that he's frantic, but we don't have any choice. I'm the only one who's capable of doing this. Allen can't swim and Hue is drunk. "Call an ambulance!" I said before I jumped off.

I was on my way back to the hospital when Kyle called me saying Raina already ran away, and that she's said things like he's going to kill her. I got worried that she might attempt to suicide again. She needs help, I saw it in her. Those familiar sad eyes desperately seeking for someone to save her. It's the same as my brother. That was five years ago when he took his own life. I was there. Watching him do it. And until now, it tortures me. If only I didn't ignore his constant feeling of sadness and despair, maybe he'd still be here. I knew he needed someone. Somebody he could talk to. About his pain. I knew that it could be me, but I'm too afraid to ask. Afraid that I can't be of any help, so I stayed silent and just watch him lose interest in everything. I've seen it all. Until one day, students were all panicky as they gathered in the school yard, looking up to the guy who is standing on the edge of the rooftop. I wa

Before going into my apartment, I went to the rooftop where a lot of used stuffs left by the residents of the building. It's quiet up here, I have no plans on jumping again, I just don't want to feel cornered in my room.   I haven't eaten anything in two days, my stomach is hurts really bad. I wonder if I did the right thing ignoring those people who saved me and wanted to help me. I can't tell if people are being genuine anymore, but they seemed desperate to know me. In fact, I'm curious too, about what Allen said earlier. I wonder why did Kyle thinks he is connected to me.   After the sun goes down, I finally had the courage to go back to my apartment. But as soon as I got there, a bag full of clothes are outside the door and it's already locked. I knew already that the landlady did this. I realized that I am now officially a complete homeless. I looked at my phone and it's almost dead. I'm

Part of me wants to believe them. I have so many questions that I really want to be answered. And what If they are telling the truth, then is it really me on that painting? I am dead curious about it.All my life, I lived in fear. Nobody knows me and I stayed hidden just to keep living. But now I realized, existing doesn't mean I'm alive. I maybe breathing in and out but, that doesn't mean I'm alive and that I have the same quality of life with others. I am empty. I have no purpose and future. I wasted so many years thinking about how I'm suppose to hide from my killer. I was consumed by the darkness that I fell inlove with the storm and I never realize the beauty of sunrise on sunny days.Right now, I've decided not to run away anymore. I want to believe Kyle and Allen, but that doesn't mean I have to trust them. My gut tells me that they don't really mean any harm to me but why do I always feel a twist in my stomach when I'm starting to