One: KYLE

Sunday afternoon, while enjoying my day off from my two part time jobs. Dad called, asking if I already ate, what did I ate and how am I doing. He's a big worrier. He's always anxious that I might not be taking care of myself.

Others might find it annoying because I'm a grown up man now. I'm already 26, yet Dad treats me like I'm still a baby. But it's rare for someone who isn't related to you by blood, cares for you too much. And I'm grateful for that.

"Just don't get sick, ok? Tell me right away if you do. I'll call you again, Kyle. Bye!" he said before he hangs up.

I unmuted the TV and lay down on my sofa comfortably. I can't blame him for being so overly worried about me. I've been in and out of the hospital for a month now. In random days, I get fever. Sometimes, I have severe headaches but I don't tell him that. I don't want to burden him, and his family. Yes, only his. I don't stay with them. His wife doesn't want a bastard in her house. So since little, I live by myself.

15 years ago, I was in a car accident. The Policeman, who rescued me was Detective Nate, whom I call Dad today. I suffered from Dissociative Amnesia. In which I have no recollection of that night from the accident. I don't remember my name, whom I'm with, and I don't remember my parents. Some memories left in me, but I believe the big part was gone.

Dad told me I'm with my father that night. He didn't survive. And my mother died when I was just a baby. Since then, I've always felt that there's a big gap in my life. As though part of me is dead. And it's almost nonsense if I look for it. That gap. That missing pieces. Not only broken bones I got from that incident, but broken memories too.

I'm a bit sleepy. I turned the TV volume up so I wouldn't fall asleep. I hate sleeping in the afternoon, it's giving me a hard time sleeping at night. And I'm sure Allen and Hue will be here any minute.

As I watch my favorite show, someone called my name. It's a girl's voice and I already know who she is. Suddenly, I feel so light. I feel like I'm not in my body anymore. I realized, I'm dreaming again. Or DPDR disorder, as my Psychologist define it. It's an event where I feel detached from my surrounding and everything is unreal. And in this sudden occurrence, she called it detachment episodes. I have this for almost a month and this, somehow, might be the cause of my fevers and headaches. It triggers, especially when I'm stressed. I'm afraid I might go insane. Or maybe I already am because of this girl I've been seeing in my episodes.

"Come with me!" she said.

"Where are we going?" I asked.

"Do you want to know the truth? Follow me!" she replied.

She's not a ghost. Well, not that I know of. She seemed normal to me. She's petite. She has long, ebony-black hair and white complexion and her cheek's a little chubby. The most remarkable thing about her is her eyes. When you look at her deep, mysterious brown eyes, no matter how saddened you're with this fantasy, a sudden feeling of calmness takes over you.

She doesn't talk a lot or give any information. She just run around, leading me into some unknown place. But everything I see is not real, and I'm aware of that. Which is a good thing according to Dr. Prynne, my psychologist. She said everything I hear, see, touch and smell isn't real.

Sometimes, I can hear a baby crying, and it's the most terrifying sound for me.

Lately, another person showed up in my episode. A full bearded man, tall with medium build and wearing a cowboy hat. I make myself believe that he's my Father. The biological one. But Doctor Prynne warns me not to put my hopes up, for it will stress me out, and can make my condition worst.

Well maybe I don't want to put an end to this. And that I'm really obsessing about knowing these people, because I feel like they're related to me. Related to my past.

I'm suddenly out of breath. The walls in the room became mirrors. Fogs are all over the place and things became bigger than its normal size. 

This isn't real. I wonder when she'll show up. Dr. Prynne taught me some grounding, but I don't want to do it. I kind of want to dive deeper into this hallucinations.

But again, there's a loud cry of a baby. So loud and damaging. I put both of my hands on my ears and my heart is pounding.

"Kyle! It's me! Come on, It's me!" that's my best friend's voice, Allen. I can see him, but he's too far, yet his voice are loud and clear.

"Breathe in and out, Kyle! Clap your hands, listen to it!" I'm struggling as I clapped my hands repeatedly. At first, I can't hear it. All I hear is my heavy breath.

Gradually, I'm seeing things in reality now. There's ringing in my ears, slowly subsiding. Allen and Hue are in front of me, looking anxious. I look around and everything is getting back to normal.

"Kyle? Are you okay?" ask Hue, standing behind Allen. I looked at them and shake my head, saying I'm okay now.

They took me to the kitchen and gave me a glass of water. I'm glad that Allen knows what to do when I'm having panic attacks. He's aware of my condition. He's a psychology student, taking up his masters degree now. I believe he's fit to its purpose.

"You want to see Dr. Prynne?" Allen asked.

"No I'm, fine" I'm not sure if I'm okay. I felt as though my episodes are getting worst. I sigh with fake exasperation.

"I just hate that baby crying." I said.

They knew what I'm talking about, I'm an open book to them.

"Well, did you see her?" Hue asked. "Luna?"

Hue named that girl, I have nothing to do with it. He said she's like the moon that calms the night and the nightmares. They even saw her actually. Whenever I'm in my normal state, I make her a portrait. Her paintings are all over my art room. In different sizes of canvas, different art style, she's all over that room.

"I didn't." I answered. The disappointment shows in my face.

"And you waited for her?" Allen said with an elevated voice. "You don't know when to stop, do you?" he said.

I looked down, avoiding his eyes. He's going to nag me again. I can't blame him. This month has been too much for me. Besides fevers and headaches, I've been in countless severe panic attacks too. Locking myself in my art room and I just seemed to be self-destructing. Allen saw it. The way I suffered.

"I'm sorry okay?" I said. "I just, I can't help it."

"She's not real, Kyle! You seriously have to stop it. You know these people are the causes of your stress and anxiety, right?" he said.

I didn't reply because I'm guilty. I just can't help myself when it comes to Luna. She makes me feel connected to my past. As if I still have a chance to be whole again. To find my real self again, and regain what I've lost 15 years ago.

Allen let out a deep sigh.

"Oh come on, guys! Chill out okay. Let's just go get a drink!" Hue said. Then he put on his jacket and pulled us heading to his car. Allen gets in the driver's seat, me on the front seat and Hue on the back. Funny thing about Hue is, this is his car, but doesn't know how to drive. Allen has to pick him up first everytime we're going out for a drive.

Hue's a bit weird, but he's a genius. I remember when we were in high school, he's always at the top of the class. But other students call him weird, fat glasses and rainbow man, because he likes to wear his colorful jacket. But despite his appearance, Hue is incredible in memorizing. He has this photographical memory kind of thing. I envy that. I like him even though he's weird. I believe everyone is weird, just in different kind of weirdness.

5:32PM

We go to our favorite restaurant since college. The Denny's Diner. The food here is great. Plus, the place is not crowded. It has a great view at the balcony, a leather-topped benches and rectangle tables that we can spend several hours, almost every day - before, after and between classes. Dad and the owner Chef Denny are good friends, so he's nice to us.

"Oh my God, Kyle! I've never seen you for a while! Your Dad told me you were sick, how are you?" Chef Denny said, the moment he saw me opening the door.

"Oh, he's just overreacting! I'm perfectly fine." I said while faking a laugh.

"Your Dad," he shakes his head "He's exactly like my Mum!" then he laughed.

I like his personality. He's been so jolly ever since we met him. As if he doesn't have any issues in life.

We sit at our usual spot at the balcony. Open and spacious, that we could enjoy the cool breeze. Below the city flowed in its tense way, bustling and honking. But 6 floors up, we're far enough to not be troubled by its strife.

"This place didn't change a bit." I said.

"Yep. It didn't change at all!" said the guy that suddenly came out from behind me.

We all looked up at him and shouted in surprise - Jonny!

He's one of the staff here, that became our friend. We haven't seen him since before graduation. Denny said his dad died and they moved out from their house. Then we just lose contact.

I'm kind of jealous with people who sent their late father off. Jealous with the pain they felt and how they cry it all out to feel better. I wondered how my real Dad died. I never get to feel bad for him dying because I have no memories of him.

"Dude! What are you doing here?" I asked.

He shrugged, "Well I love this place," he said and we all agreed to that. "Studied culinary for 5 years and now I'm back with Denny!" he giggled.

"Oh you're a chef here now?" I said.

He nodded. And we all just seemed so happy for him. He told us that he's still a trainee here. Back then, I could remember he was beaten a lot by chef Denny because he always hangs around us in his work hours. We all laughed, because we never thought he would come back and work here again, knowing his relationship with Denny.

"Well, with Denny, I just miss my Dad much lesser now." he shrugged, then went on. "He's always nagging and hitting my head with something, trying to straighten up my mistakes, just like my Dad."

We all had a wonderful mini reunion that night. Jonny treated us beers and it's a great time indeed. I didn't drink though, because alcohol can trigger my DPDR, and I don't want to spoil the night. Allen didn't drink too much because he'll drive us home, yet Hue is wasted.

As we're on our way home, thinking Allen might be a little tipsy, scares me. I don't remember what happened in that car accident 15 years ago with my father, but I seemed to have this anxiety on crash involving roads. I want to keep talking to him but I'm so sleepy.

He happened to notice it. "I'm fine, Kyle. I'm not drunk. You can sleep in peace." he said.

"Are you sure?"

He laughs, "I didn't even had three bottles. You really think I'm like you?"

"If I happen to be a normal guy, you'll be nothing compared to me. I ain't gonna be drunk for 15 bottles." I bragged.

"We both know you're already drunk, Kyle. Drunk in love?"

"Shut up." We both laugh. Then I tipped my head on the window.

"Dude, seriously. I feel like you can even give up your sanity for her."

"No. I just," I paused, "I just feel so connected to her. I already told you, didn't I? What if she's really my sister?" He looked at me then back on the road again.

"You really think so?"

"I don't know, man."

"If Luna and that Man who recently showed up, is really related to you. I'm sure you'll remember them. Just don't push yourself, Kyle. Or else, you'll never figure it out because you're already crazy."

"As if I'm not already crazy." I said. We both laugh again. But Allen has a point. He always does. I always see him as the type of guy who never made wrong choices. He always have the last word in an argument, because he's always right.

After that conversation, I finally fell asleep.

9:45PM

A loud thunder woke my conciousness. Still, my eyes are close. I realize we've been driving for hours, yet we're still not home. I wondered what happened. As I open my eyes and look out of the window, a lightning split to the air, it's gonna rain. I process where we are exactly, and It shocked me after I realized we are already on our way to San Juan, Province.

"What the heck, Allen?" I yelled.

"Woah woah! Don't suddenly scream like that, I'm driving!"

"Why are we heading at Hue's place?" I asked.

Hue's family has a rest house there. We normally go there for vacation every year but we haven't been there for the past two years, because of me. I've undergone a few theraphies.

"Bro, chill! I'm doing you a favor." he said.

"Dude no, stop right now! I have a job tomorrow and I didn't even bring any clothes and stuffs."

"Don't worry about it, we've got it all covered."

"Oh, you mean you planned this?"

He tilt his head and answered, "Months ago."

I felt betrayed, but for my own good. I really want to go back. I'm craving to lock myself inside my art room. I don't know why I feel so at ease whenever I'm in there.

"Come on, Allen! Let's just go back. STOP THIS CAR!" I said. But I hate arguing with Allen. Because he doesn't really get scared of me when I'm mad. And he always force his decisions when he feels it's the right thing to do. Like he's too controlling but in a good way.

"We're half way there, Kyle! I can't go back!"

We're shouting as though we're just mocking each other. We both already know he's never gonna go back, and that I can't do anything about it. But as he continue going straight, he suddenly kick the brake when we're half way through the big bridge. Hue flew away and I almost hit my head.

"The heck! Are you getting us killed?" I yelled at him again.

Yet Allen didn't answer, he just stares directly in front, eyes wide open. Hue stood up while scratching the back of his head.

"Are you guys crazy?" he said.

I followed Allen's gaze. And there, I saw a girl, standing at the edge of the bridge.

"Wait, A-a-are you seeing this?" Hue's shocked before he realized we're looking at her too.

I got out of the car, and run as fast as I can. But I'm too late. She already jumped off, before my very eyes.