you re so old jokes one liners

"Don't underestimate me!" She growled, pressing the knife against his neck on their wedding night. "Don't mistake my kindness for my weakness." "You look so hot pinning me against the wall and the knife pressing me against my neck," he smirked. ˚ ༘✶ ⋆｡˚ ⁀➷ Weylin Turner, the vicious leader of the mafia organization 'The Black Panther' returned to England after fifteen years. At a party, he learned that his marriage was already fixed with the daughter of one of the most powerful mafia organizations in England. But on the day of the marriage, the bride didn't appear. To save his father's face, he immediately ordered his subordinates to find a bride for him. Suddenly his eyes fell on Garaine Jones, a cheerful caregiver at an orphanage. He couldn't help but take advantage of the situation. Finding her weakness, he compelled her to become his bride. To his surprise, she agreed to his terms and conditions easily. Little did he know that Garaine Jones wasn't some ordinary woman as he thought. She was something beyond his imagination. Did the predator himself become prey while chasing his fantasies?

The story of Sienna Zannotti and Eric Connall is not your typical love story. They are the leaders of rival mafia organizations, and when fate brings them together in an arranged marriage, sparks fly. Sienna is a fierce and unforgiving Don, while Eric is just as ruthless in his leadership of the American mafia. They both resist the idea of a marriage, but their parent's wishes leave them no choice. As they meet for the first time, they each find themselves drawn to the unexpected qualities of the other. Eric discovers a captivating woman in Sienna, and she finds him attractive despite his leadership position. But can two powerful and dominant mafia lords make a marriage work? Will they succumb to their differences and go their separate ways, or will they be able to find a common ground to build from? A Love So Dangerous is a journey through the obstacles of love and power, as Sienna and Eric navigate their way through their arranged marriage. Is their love powerful enough to withstand the forces surrounding them, or will the dangers of their worlds prove too much to bear?

Ano kayang reaksyon ng ninuno natin kung mapunta sila sa 2020?Taong 1895.Isa ako sa mga batang namulat sa digmaan ng mga Pilipino at Amerikano. Nang lumaki ako, ipinagkasundo ako sa lalaking kalauna'y inibig ko rin, si Isagani. Ngunit sa hindi inaasahan, nagkasala s'ya sa batas at ipinapatay. Dalawang taon din ang lumipas, akala ko ay tuluyan na akong ikakasal sa lahing Amerikano...Ngunit nagkamali ako, dahil isang araw namulat ako sa ibang panahon at nalaman kong ikinasal na ako. Ikinasal sa lalaking nagmula sa taong 2020.

An accident made Snow Cecy the most hated person of her husband. She was imprisoned and gave birth to a child in prison. After she was released from prison, it was her husband's crazy revenge and betrayal that met her and her children. Snow Cecy thought that one day she could wait for the truth to come out, but she only waited for a paper of incurable medical treatment. On the day of diagnosis, Vicdor Blake held his sweetheart and said to her, "you'd better die now. Don't hinder me from marrying Leyi!" At this moment, Snow Cecy finally understood what it means to die like ashes. In the fire, Snow Cecy held her child and had nothing to miss in this world. And when all the truth is revealed,Vicdor is almost tortured into a madman by remorse holding the ashes of the two people. Three years later, a person suffering from a terminal illness has become a famous doctor that is hard to find. However, the president has tortured himself to the death. Snow Cecy nestled in another man's arms and looked at Vicdor coldly. Even if you die now, it has nothing to do with me.

Max, Ryan, Sam and Hannah are back in the anticipated sequel to Forever Yours. Please read the first book first as it is the direct sequel. The boys have grown up, with each of them having a company of their own. Samantha and Hannah had just completed their studies and are searching for jobs. Sam played Hannah and made her get a job in the company she never wanted to work in: and she couldn’t get out just because of the contract she signed. And you are right. It was Ryan’s company. She was freaking out. She was mad at Sam, she hated Ryan, she couldn’t believe anything but that was the truth. So she had to face it.

The forest within the quiet village of Gashea is a dangerous place. Within the trees lies something dark, cursed, and wicked. For centuries, a demon with malevolent power terrorizes the villagers of the small valley home. He had brought droughts, disease, and famine. To ensure that he will keep his powers at bay, the village of Gashea offers a bride to the demon every night. And by dawn, without fail, they would see the corpse of the offered brides floating along their bright, shining river. With the next choosing fast approaching, the head villagers made a shocking decision. They had chosen Fyn. A man. When Fyn starts to slowly fall in love with the demon within the forest, secrets of the past unravel. The truth makes them wonder whether it’s the right monster Gashea fears.

WARNING: MATURE CONTENT. Savannah Cortez met Blue Laurel at Club Hell. He was drowning himself in alcohol. Feeling crazy and thrilled, she thought he needed a help, and so she initiated their first kiss. And she realized, he's an innocent man. He doesn't even know how to kiss! But that didn't change her mind, because at some point, she felt attracted to him. "Your are shaking. Relax, baby, just follow my moves." One innocent night, they became as one. He doesn't know her name, but her face, he remembered everything, even the smallest details. After five years, they met again. Later on, he learned about her child... who turned to be his too.

How will you feel when you end up with the same person you were trying to find an escape from? How will you feel when you end up in a one-night stand with your Ex-husband? Her eyes fluttered as she felt the morning cool breeze brushing against her bare body, which was semi-covered with a quilt. Although her eyes felt heavy to even blink, her other senses were high alert. She could hear the bird chirping outside the windows, she could smell a familiar masculine cologne, her body covered with goosebumps with the presence of someone familiar, and her heart beats rapidly on its own accord. That's when her brain registered her surroundings and could recollect her last passionate night with someone who would be her soon-to-be ex-husband. How? When? Why? She mentally slapped herself, but then she couldn't hide the contentment. She felt as if she was complete now. She couldn't stop but feel happy again. Why? Why does she feel like falling in love again? "I see you are still the w***e you were back then," his words broke her little dream she just thought of. "A desperate woman like you, who can with her ex-husband, can no wonder w***e around any men." He said with no remorse. "I did the right thing by divorcing you. How much do you charge for a night?" he smirked, looking at her teary face. "Here! Take extra 200 bucks for the sake of our old times." She vowed never to cry in front of her husband, but what he said just now shattered her soul beyond repair. Her quivering body and hollow eyes didn't hide the agony she felt at that very moment. "Sorry for loving you."

George Hamilton, Emily Wood's distant benefactor throughout her growing up with foster parents, is a successful executive. When Emily turns 20, he appears in her life in person and turns it upside down by asking her hand in marriage. In order to escape from foster parents' abuse, Emily marries him in return. Will the marriage out of love work for both of them or will they part in their own ways?

Damon Black is the devil on earth in the truest sense of the word. He leads his own mafia and is capable of killing anyone who stands in his way. A wealthy man, incredibly sexy, for whom any girl would sell her soul to have, yet he is in love with only one person, Elenor. "-You're a monster! Do you hear me!? You will pay for everything!” "-Blah, Blah. Well, maybe I'm a monster , but baby, you're a monster's girlfriend"