you re so old jokes one liners

This is the age of exotics and technology! Due to the discovery of the miracle metal resource- exotics, humanity was plunged into an era of war. Kalen Drake was born into this cruel era where the ones with the biggest fist speak. As a knight who lost both his parents to the tentacles of war and its cruelty, he sought to stop all the carnage. To do this, he must step up to the daunting task of overthrowing the rule of the big 5 organizations. In a world dominated by high-grade warriors, technology that can only be dreamed of in the 21st century, and dangerous mutated exobeasts, Kalen gradually fought his way to the peak of power as a divine warrior. Referred to as the chosen one, the Divine Commanders of humanity led by the legendary Hercules looked up to him as the one to lead them in battle. Join me as we witness Kalen's meteoric rise to power and how he'll conspire against and overthrow the rule of the big 5 to stabilize the world again.

Bretta Margareth Barreto experienced an assault at the age of fifteen. She wanted to fight back and shout for help, but she can’t do it. Lore threatened her if she will scream and fight back, she won’t be able to see her younger sister. There’s nothing she can do during the night she was being harass. So, she chose not to fight back and scream.She let Lore to do what he want and just go with the flow. She cried while doing those things that destroy her purity during her young age. After what happened on that night, Bretta promise to herself that she won’t trust boys that easily. But that promise got broken when a special boy came to her life.Cyrus made her feel special. Accepted her flaws, shameful experienced, and love her. Bretta love him so much as Cyrus love her too. They thought that their love towards each other can conquer everything. But that thought change everything when something bad happened. Will their love prevail or will that be the end of their love story?

For months Alex has watched Olivia as she calls out to every protective instinct he possesses. When Olivia's life hits rock bottom as a result of her mother's Alzheimer's, Alex sees his opportunity to insert himself into Olivia's life. Knowing how vulnerable she is, her acceptance of his proposal is inevitable; spend one year as his wife in return for paying off her debts and her mother's care fees. Unfortunately, the foundation of their marriage is based on a secret that Alex is determined to protect from both his family and Olivia; his BDSM lifestyle as a Dom. However, when Olivia uncovers Alex's secret, instead of the disgust Alex is anticipating, Olivia embraces his dominant side and slowly begins to explore her own sexuality. Unfortunately, their happiness is threatened by a plot between Alex's unstable ex-submissive and Liv's deadbeat alcoholic father who abandoned her and her mother when she was young. When they fail to extort Alex for money over his lifestyle, they turn to exposing Olivia and Alex's fake marriage to his mother. A final showdown between Olivia and Alex's ex-submissive finally exposes how Alex's mother was sent their pre-nuptial agreement and the key players in the plot are held accountable. Olivia also forces Alex to confront some home truths about his journey into the BDSM world. In the end, both Alex and Olivia find their happy ending by embracing both their love for each other and learning to love themselves.

On the morning of her wedding day, Chelsea saw her sister moan under her fiancé's embraces. Later that night after she canceled her wedding, she got drunk and called a night escort service for revenge sex. So she spends the night together under the influence of alcohol. Little did she know that the man she thought was a night escort, turns out to be Liam Shax, the narcissistic CEO! As she feels guilty thinking that she had raped someone, Chelsea is about to jump into the river. "I'll give you a purpose to live! So come down first,” as Liam's voices reach her ears, she turned around. "What purpose?" "To bear my child." ".... euw." -splash!- "Did she just say 'euw' before jumping?" "Yes ... sir. SIR?!" Liam jumps to the river.

Laura Thompson watched her marriage crumble when her husband abruptly asked for a divorce. She had always suspected that he never truly loved her, but she had decided to win him over gradually. However, everything fell apart when her husband's ex girlfriend reentered his life and persuaded him to leave Laura. Completely disheartened after putting so much effort into a marriage that ended in failure, Laura decided to agree to the divorce and start her life anew in an uncertain place. However, Jason Davies realizes that he made a mistake by separating from Laura due to his ex girlfriend's influence. He now recognizes that he loves Laura, even though he didn't realize it before. Jason intends to reunite with Laura and win her back. The lingering question is whether Laura will forgive Jason and return to him after being hurt so deeply by him.

Warning: 18+ only. Featuring hardcore taboo and age-gap erotica. This is an erotic boxset containing yet another twelve stories of irresistible steam, steam, fun, and naughty stories. If you're not up to eighteen, this book is not for you. Get ready to be intrigued. To feel. To...burn. --------- "You think I'm a softie?" My voice is deceptively gentle when the rest of me is so hard. "Do you know why I pulled over?" "Why?" she says, seeming to hold her breath. "I pulled over because I know tight pussy when I see it." I frame her jaw with my right hand, tilting her blushing face up toward mine. "I'd like to fuck you on all fours, right here in the middle of the road, little girl. Rough as you can stand. Still think I'm a softie?" "No," she gasps, the green of her eyes deepening to a forest shade. "I don't." "Good."

Brandon Garcia made a biggest mistake of his life. He hurt and ruined the only woman that love him so much at the very crucial time of their relationship. He regretted his decision but he couldn't undo things that happened already. Feeling down and rejected she ran away from him. And now after four long years their path crosses again. She changed. Not the same Candice he used to know before. He realized that he love her still. But for her he was just a forgotten past.

Kelly Brook thought her secret marriage to Anderson Grant would shield her from her previous scandal, but everything crumbled when she discovered Anderson’s betrayal—a hidden affair with her estranged twin sister, Kate. Forced to announce her own divorce, Kelly struggles to hold her composure as she faces public judgment and private heartbreak. With her resources tied to Anderson’s career and overshadowed by her sister. Kelly must decide whether to fight for redemption or let her past destroy her future.

Allison fell in love with Ethan Iversen, the soon-to-be Alpha of the Moonlight Crown pack. She always wanted him to notice her. Meanwhile, Ethan was an arrogant Alpha who thought a weak Omega could not be his companion.  Ethan's cousin, Ryan Iversen, who came back from abroad and was the actual heir of the pack, never tried to get the position nor did he show any interest in it. He was a popular playboy Alpha but when he came back to the pack, one thing captured his eyes and that was Allison.

Abigail has been living alone in her small apartment since her mother died two years ago. She's a scholar in a prestigious school and always top of her class. She has multiple jobs just to support her daily expenses. She works as a waitress in a restaurant near their school after their class and at the bar every Saturday night as a waitress. She doesn't have a boyfriend since birth. Her reason always is no guy appealed to her or the guy that was fated for her didn't come yet. But she was sick of her friends Cora and Mia forcing her go to on blind dates which always ended in a disaster. When she saw a hot handsome guy at the mall who captivated her eyes, she didn't hesitate to snap a picture of him, show it to her friend, and say. "THIS IS MY BOYFRIEND." Without knowing that simple picture will turn her life upside down.