you re so old jokes one liners

Roxanne's fiancé was suddenly snatched by her stepsister. In return, she got into a forced marriage with her stepsister's fiancé, a wealthy billionaire whom her sister had rejected because he was disabled.Bound by familial obligations and in order to reclaim her late mother's shopping center, Roxanne agreed to replace her sister and marry the "Crippled" billionaire, Henry Ford. Little did she know that she had thrown a rock and picked a diamond instead. Henry Ford, the crippled billionaire, was more than meets the eye! For Roxanne, the grass was indeed greener on Henry Ford's side. …"Make me yours, Henry," Roxanne said, her eyes pleading. Henry's electric blue eyes whirled with affection as he gazed into her eyes. His love was all that mattered to her. "Roxy, are you certain? Once I make you mine, there's no turning back." Henry's eyes darkened as he got closer to her. “Is this what you really want?”"You don't want me?" Roxanne asked instead, looking sad. Henry grabbed her wrist and pulled her onto his lap. He glanced down at her and whispered, "I've wanted you from the very first day I laid my eyes on you." Roxanne's heart skipped a beat as she felt the intensity of his grip. She could sense the raw desire in his touch, and it sent delicious shivers down her spine. “Then prove it,” she whispered breathlessly.

Rolape suffers sleep paralysis and traumas. She blames her parents for her turmoils but as she strives to be a better person, she ironically discovers that her tribulations are pointing her silently to a purpose.

It was all about a year. Just one simple year. They got married because of his Grandmother's wish. He didn't fall for her in that one year but she did. She didn't expect he would still hold on that contract after being married for a whole year but he did. He terminated the contract after a year and told her that it was over without any regret. He had gifted her divorce papers on their first wedding anniversary. He had expected her to throw a tantrum but too bad cause she didn't. Instead she just packed her bags and left just like he had asked her to. Then all of sudden one year later they met again. But she didn't change like those cliche heroines after divorce. She was the same as she was a year ago. Stupid, clumsy and stubborn. He didn't realise what he lost like those cliche ex husbands when he saw her for the first time after a year. But why did it sting watching her talking to some other men so casually? Why did it sting when she didn't look at him with those puppy lovesick eyes anymore? Why did it sting so much when she treated him like other ordinary people? It shouldn't have right? SLOW UPDATE AND UPDATE 3 DAYS PER WEEK. PLEASE MAKE SURE TO READ THIS AND DON'T COMPLAIN LATER:)

"I want you back, Cali." I utter, looking at her eyes. "What?" Shock written in her face. "I want you back," She scoffs, "You must be gone crazy." "I'm serious. I want you back. I still love you, Cali..." She slaps me. "You want me back? Then you are a jerk! You left me. You left me here when you already made a promise that we'd always be together." The sounds of her crying and her broken voice broke my heart into pieces. "Sorry. I'm sorry, " After all, this is all I can say. My tears started to fell on my cheeks.

George caught Sigrid's boyfriend sleeping with his fiancee. To punish his fiancee, George said that Sigrid is going to be his bride, or her family would go bankrupt! Sigrid had no choice but to say, yes. What's worse, it's just a contract marriage! But she didn't want this kind of fake love at all. Though she tried to get rid of him, she gradually discovered his charm and tenderness. Day by day, she got his endless love, and she became the apple of his eye. Maybe it would be fine to stay by his side. She thought so. But all of the sweetness ended on that day...she found the secret of their contract marriage...

Ivy's life has been riddled with nothing but misery. Sold by her father and enslaved by her buyers, she finally sought comfort in the arms of Victor. This proved to be a fatal mistake, as Ivy would later find out. Unable to bear it anymore, Ivy decides to end her life but, she is saved by none other than Daniel, the crowned prince. What happens when Ivy is offered a contract to become Daniel's wife? BOOK ONE: I Found You SPIN-OFF: A Maid For The Billionaire

My family has always considered me a harbinger of misfortune. It's all because I can see a countdown to my relatives' deaths. I tell them when my grandfather, father, and mother will die. It all comes true due to various accidents. My three brothers hate me to the core because they think I cursed my parents and grandfather. My mother actually dies after giving birth to my younger sister, but my brothers dote on her to no end. They say she's their lucky star because everything goes well for the family after she's born. But didn't Mom die while giving birth to her? On my 18th birthday, I see my death countdown when I look at myself in the mirror. I buy an urn I like and prepare a meal. I want to have one last meal with my brothers, but none of them show up even when the timer hits zero…

When I was young, my uncle and his family had died in a fire to save me, leaving behind only their three-year-old daughter. Thus, she became the most lovable member of our family. Later, she and I were involved in a car accident. As the blood and amniotic fluid mixed together, I clutched my husband's hand and begged him to save me and our children. However, he swatted my hand away and said impatiently, "Don't you realize Alice had hurt her bones?" My mother also scolded me, "Why are you still craving attention at a crucial moment like this? You are so cruel. Do you want Alice to be crippled for the rest of her life?" Just like that, I watched helplessly as they left with all the doctors, leaving me all alone. In the end, I died along with my adorable twin babies. When they heard the news, the ones who despised me most went crazy.

"I, Alpha Dylan Langley, Alpha of the waterside pack Reject you, Esme West pack member of waterside west to be my mate and Luna" On Esme's 18th birthday she figured that the Alpha of the pack was her true mate which meant she would be Luna to the waterside pack. She felt the mate bond breaking and it hurt so much. She didn't know if she was string enough to handle the rejection completely. She was holding back her tears to show him no weakness and no emotion towards his rejection. "I, Esme West of the waterside pack accept your rejection to be you mate and Luna of this pack" I turn towards the entrance of the pack gates and slowly walk towards our home where my mom and dad are sorting mine and my brother's birthday out. I didn't want to cry. I heard of the tales of the rejection and the pain it causes to fated mates but I never thought I would be rejected I especially didn't think the moon goddess would have the Alpha to be my mate. I'm a nothing but a lowly omega. I work for nothing and I am the packs punching bag. Especially the queen be herself who has always wanted Alpha Dylan to be her mate...Adeline carter... Some Wolf's who have been rejected have often left the pack but have not managed to find a new pack who is willing to take them in within the time frame off 2 weeks and they are automatically classed as rogues. Rogues are wolfs who have no packs, some are nice but the thing's I have heard some rogues will kill to get what and where they want to be in the chain.

Isabelle is not the typical girl who loves studying and prefers staying indoor. She loves adventure and she wants freedom that her parents spoiled her since she was a kid. And because of that, she didn't took care of her self and her reputation—that made her life went all f*cked-up. But great God and Destiny, her fate changed as she met the most benevolent and kind man in the whole world. And it was also him, who changed every bad insights she have in her life—as well as made her appreciate all the small things she should thank that she have. Because of that one accidental night that they made something out of their control, everything has changed as well as her.