you re so old jokes one liners

makapaniwala si Kobe na sa isang iglap, biglang siyang ikakasal. Kasalukuyan na ini-enjoy palang niya ang pagiging malaya dahil sa kaka-graduate pa lang sa kursong kinuha nito. At wala pa siyang balak na pwersahin ang sarili sa trabahong binibigay ng kanyang ama. Isang hindi kilalang babae ang pakakasalan ni Kobe, na ni minsan ay hindi pa niya nakilala. Hindi rin niya matandaan sa mga naging babae nito ang babaeng pakakasalan. Napuno ng galit ang dibdib pati na ang isipan lalo na ang malaman ang mga kasinungalingan ng babae, kaya para makaganti 'ay sasaktan niya ito ng labis. Para kay Camilla, isa mang kabaliwan ang kanyang ginawa hindi naman niya 'yun pinagsisihan dahil nakilala niya ang isang Kobe Herrera.

It was all about a year. Just one simple year. They got married because of his Grandmother's wish. He didn't fall for her in that one year but she did. She didn't expect he would still hold on that contract after being married for a whole year but he did. He terminated the contract after a year and told her that it was over without any regret. He had gifted her divorce papers on their first wedding anniversary. He had expected her to throw a tantrum but too bad cause she didn't. Instead she just packed her bags and left just like he had asked her to. Then all of sudden one year later they met again. But she didn't change like those cliche heroines after divorce. She was the same as she was a year ago. Stupid, clumsy and stubborn. He didn't realise what he lost like those cliche ex husbands when he saw her for the first time after a year. But why did it sting watching her talking to some other men so casually? Why did it sting when she didn't look at him with those puppy lovesick eyes anymore? Why did it sting so much when she treated him like other ordinary people? It shouldn't have right? SLOW UPDATE AND UPDATE 3 DAYS PER WEEK. PLEASE MAKE SURE TO READ THIS AND DON'T COMPLAIN LATER:)

"I rather get dragged in the mud with chains by moving horses or be beaten with a club with nails on it than lose my virginity to you," she spat, looking at him with hate in her eyes, hoping her eyes conveyed the degree of contempt she felt when she spat out the words. Anger and disbelief flashed in his eyes. She was going to be the first woman that would ever reject him, and in such a preposterous manner. He stood up and went over to her while she gummed her back to the wall, having no other room to step back. He gripped her chin with his strong palm, forcing her to look at him, his wicked grey eyes bore into her hazel ones. "What if it's your only ticket to freedom?" "As I said, I rather die." He quickly shoved her onto the bed and she scooted away as he moved towards her. "I am Eros Castillo, leader of the El dragon gang, you dare not reject me, nobody rejects me," he said in a low husky voice, his eyes five shades darker, his countenance grim and dangerous.

It's not what you think. Two social worlds collide with words, feelings, behaviours and ideas most unexpected to bring an even more unpredictable end. Lacey Atkins leaves school for a tear and comes back wanting nothing more than to be left alone. Alone in a classroom, Tom Wade sees Lacey and soon comes to want nothing more than to be with her. Her weird and unusual ways all make him the more curious and drawn in.

Everyone in the upper echelons of society knows that Lewis Alvarez has someone he cherishes like a priceless treasure. He allows her to spend money like it was nothing, flies into a rage at the slightest insult to her, and would willingly sacrifice his life for her. However, those same people also know that Lewis was married to someone else. She’s a mute woman who might as well doesn’t exist. She was only a fragile flower that relied on Lewis to survive.At least, that’s what Lewis thinks of his wife, Josephine Vance. That is until the day she hands him a divorce agreement. That’s what breaks his cool aloofness.

*You want me to fuck you, i know you do* PRETEND YOU MINE. "I'm not your girl, Ethan." I snapped instantly. "You were during that kiss, Brynne." Eyes flickering, he read me, and then he inhaled. I was a damp mess between my legs, and I wondered if he could smell me. "You smell so good... and fucking sexy." Sweet Jesus! His thumb rubbed over my collarbone where his hand still rested on my neck. And I did absolutely nothing to stop him. I was enjoying the view too much. I'd tousled his hair from the mauling with my hands. He still looked gorgeous and probably did even when he crawled out of bed in the mornings. Bed. Was there a bed in our immediate future? It would take next to nothing on my part to get this man into bed. I didn't have to be a genius to know he wanted sex. The real question here was did I want it? "Ethan." I pushed against the wall of steel that was his body and got nowhere. "Why are you doing this? Why are you acting this way to me?" "Don't know. I can't stay away and I'm not acting. I tried to leave you alone but I can't do it." He feathered his other hand over my hair and down until it was resting on the other side of my neck. "I don't want to stay away from you." He rubbed slow erotic circles with his thumbs meeting at the middle of my throat. "You want me too, Brynne, I know you do."

Esther finally agrees to hang out with her friends after several "No" and "Next time" she decided to join at the bar and ends up getting laid with a woman named Amber, one-night stand leads to a relationship where pressure and conflicts arise and ruined everything as a couple but starts a good friendship which they will learn to see what they missed as Amber realized her feelings for Esther that is about to marry soon... Will she be able to admit it to her best friend/Ex-girlfriend Esther who begins to fall for her as well but keep her feelings hidden for the sake of friendship? A roller coaster ride of breakups, friendship and love the second time around that will satisfy your special kind of love story!

When Evelyn fell in love with Ryan, the charming young Alpha, she thought that their love would be strong enough to resist the mate bond with their fated mates. Though she was an omega, she won over the trust and respect of the pack with her hard work. But her peaceful life turned to hell when a sudden war broke out and Ryan who was weaker without his fated mate beside him started losing in the war. To make matters worse, his fated mate appeared right when the entire pack turned against Evelyn who was the reason for their Alpha's weakness. With the whole world against them, can Evelyn and Ryan's love still stand strong? Or will the mate bond win in the end and will Evelyn lose Ryan?

Zariyah and Kylian used to know each other. They were inseparable. But due to a traumatic incident, Kylian lost all his memories related to Zariyah, leading to their separation. Twenty years later, Kylian still has no memories of his traumatic past nor doesn’t know about Zariyah’s existence. But destiny seems to have a plan for them. Muling pinagtagpo ang landas nila. Only this time they are to marry each other. Upang mapaghiwalay si Kylian sa kasintahan nitong si Lexie, pinakiusapan ni Daniel si Zariyah na pakasalan ang anak. Selfish it may seem, Zariyah agreed, seeing it as her only chance to be with Kylian again. But can marriage survive when there’s little love?

I turned my head and looked at the Alpha, trying to ask him why Kristen was dead. Did they come late? Or, did they just rescue me in time? However, the Alpha’s face was cold as ice. I even felt that he hated me to the core in that instant. He had never looked at me that way. He was always kind to me as far as I could remember. “Lindsay Blackwood, Gamma Jen’s daughter, brutally murdered my sister, Kristen. Is there anything else you want to say before the judgment is served?”