you re so old jokes one liners

My family has always considered me a harbinger of misfortune. It's all because I can see a countdown to my relatives' deaths. I tell them when my grandfather, father, and mother will die. It all comes true due to various accidents. My three brothers hate me to the core because they think I cursed my parents and grandfather. My mother actually dies after giving birth to my younger sister, but my brothers dote on her to no end. They say she's their lucky star because everything goes well for the family after she's born. But didn't Mom die while giving birth to her? On my 18th birthday, I see my death countdown when I look at myself in the mirror. I buy an urn I like and prepare a meal. I want to have one last meal with my brothers, but none of them show up even when the timer hits zero…

George caught Sigrid's boyfriend sleeping with his fiancee. To punish his fiancee, George said that Sigrid is going to be his bride, or her family would go bankrupt! Sigrid had no choice but to say, yes. What's worse, it's just a contract marriage! But she didn't want this kind of fake love at all. Though she tried to get rid of him, she gradually discovered his charm and tenderness. Day by day, she got his endless love, and she became the apple of his eye. Maybe it would be fine to stay by his side. She thought so. But all of the sweetness ended on that day...she found the secret of their contract marriage...

"I want you back, Cali." I utter, looking at her eyes. "What?" Shock written in her face. "I want you back," She scoffs, "You must be gone crazy." "I'm serious. I want you back. I still love you, Cali..." She slaps me. "You want me back? Then you are a jerk! You left me. You left me here when you already made a promise that we'd always be together." The sounds of her crying and her broken voice broke my heart into pieces. "Sorry. I'm sorry, " After all, this is all I can say. My tears started to fell on my cheeks.

Book #3 Wright-Petrov Series She once tasted him. Her first man. But he was too drunk to know. For years, she kept it a secret to protect herself and their friendship. Until he involves her in his craziest idea of being his wife. And no matter how hard she tries to resist, she blindly agrees. To placate herself, she strictly set the rules. Rules she freely breaks. Everything involving him is ambivalent. She even lost control of her heart. Will she learn to play his games just to keep him? Or will she teach him to value her by playing hard to get? Either way, all she ever wanted was to have another taste of him. And she is selfish, she wants it to be forever.

"I, Alpha Dylan Langley, Alpha of the waterside pack Reject you, Esme West pack member of waterside west to be my mate and Luna" On Esme's 18th birthday she figured that the Alpha of the pack was her true mate which meant she would be Luna to the waterside pack. She felt the mate bond breaking and it hurt so much. She didn't know if she was string enough to handle the rejection completely. She was holding back her tears to show him no weakness and no emotion towards his rejection. "I, Esme West of the waterside pack accept your rejection to be you mate and Luna of this pack" I turn towards the entrance of the pack gates and slowly walk towards our home where my mom and dad are sorting mine and my brother's birthday out. I didn't want to cry. I heard of the tales of the rejection and the pain it causes to fated mates but I never thought I would be rejected I especially didn't think the moon goddess would have the Alpha to be my mate. I'm a nothing but a lowly omega. I work for nothing and I am the packs punching bag. Especially the queen be herself who has always wanted Alpha Dylan to be her mate...Adeline carter... Some Wolf's who have been rejected have often left the pack but have not managed to find a new pack who is willing to take them in within the time frame off 2 weeks and they are automatically classed as rogues. Rogues are wolfs who have no packs, some are nice but the thing's I have heard some rogues will kill to get what and where they want to be in the chain.

Harley was the product of an affair. After her mother died, she decided to make contact with her father, Ron Hale, a criminal and leader of a felon-filled, biker outlaw club, The Savage Scorpions. After months of virtual communication, she decides to visit him in his small Californian town of Pleasant-Tree-Ville. When she arrives, she gets less than a warm welcome from the other SS members. As the days pass, she starts forming friendships, bonds and something a little more with Alexander Coates, Her father's second-in-command... and best friend. It's not till Harley opens up to one of her new friends that some old, dark family secrets come to light. Mother betraying Daughter, Wife Betraying husband.. And Friend betraying Friend. All Harley wanted to do was meet her father... but she is about to get a lot more than she bargained for!

He is selfish and only think about himself. He doesn't care if it'll trouble the people around him. Jawad return from his journey when he gets the news of him getting married or he loses his position of being the heir to his father's company. Farah a beautiful and kindhearted woman, with a nice and loving family. When a marriage proposal came for her, she knew her life is about to change. As she has no opposition about marriage, she agrees to marry the man her parents choose for her. Two opposite are tied in an arranged marriage. Will they keep their differences aside? And make their marriage work?

This story will show you the different kinds of love. Love that doesn't need an exchange. Love that allows you to let go. Love that can endure. Love that can sacrifice. Love that can forgive. Love that keeps you from chasing, and Love that shows you why second chances are worth it.Ellie Saavedra is a US based General Surgeon. Hindi inaasahang nabuntis ang kaniyang kaibigang ibinabalak na ipadala sa Pilipinas para maging temporary Surgeon sa isang branch ng ospital nila. Kinailangan niyang tulungan ang kaniyang malapit na kaibigang si Niana kaya wala siyang nagawa kundi ang palitan ito. Nang makabalik siya sa Pilipinas, hindi niya inaasahan na kung saang ospital sila ipinadala ay doon din pala nagtatrabaho bilang General Surgeon si Vic. Will she handle her emotion and completely forget Vic? Or she'll give up and fall for him again?

Sekar hanya seorang gadis remaja yang biasa saja dengan penampilan biasa. Ia juga hanya seorang gadis pendiam yang selalu menjadi bayangan bagi orang lain. Tapi dia tidak pernah menyangka bahwa akan datang suatu hari ia memiliki cahayanya sendiri berkat bantuan seorang remaja laki-laki. Laki-laki yang sama biasanya seperti dia. Pic: Pinterest

Simula pagkabata ay lihim ng minamahal ni Marycole si Rowan Martinez. Ngunit hindi ito makita ng binata, kahit na magpapansin siya dito ay dedma lang ang beauty niya. Hanggang sa sumapit ang debut niya at hiniling sa lalaki na maging last dance niya ngunit binigo siya nito. Mula noon ay iniwasan na niya ito dahil tanggap niya na kahit kailan ay hindi siya nito magugustuhan. Hanggang sa nagtungo siya ng ibang bansa upang tanggapin ang opportunity na maging isang sikat na modelo. Paano kung may pagkakataon na matupad ang matagal na niyang inaasam na pagibig? Susugal kaya si Marycole kung alam niyang simula noon ay hindi niya maaangkin ang puso nito. Paano niya paninindigan ang nakatago niyang pagmamahal sa lalaki kung araw-araw niya ito makakasama at makikita? Paano kung lingid sa kaalaman niya ay pareho silang may damdamin sa isa't -isa? Mananatili kaya nilang maitatago ang siyang sinisigaw ng kanilang puso? How does Marycole Barraca keep from Rowan Martinez that she is Secretly in love with him from a long time?