you re so old jokes one liners

My fiancé, Keith Odell is a hot air balloon pilot. His first love, Michelle Lavigne, insisted on taking a risk and flying to a thousand meters above ground when the balloon’s helium began to leak.  In that moment of crisis, Keith grabbed the tandem parachute and leaped with her.  With tears in my eyes, I begged him, “I'm pregnant with your child. Can’t you take me first?” But he reproached me. “Is this really the time to fake your pregnancy because of a bit of jealousy? You learned how to skydive but Chelle is afraid of heights. We’ll wait for you on the ground.” Then he forcibly shook off my hand and parachuted down with his first love.  He failed to notice the hole in the only parachute he left me. Michelle had deliberately done it.  Carrying our unborn child, I closed my eyes and leaped.

Since battling over a spade in kindergarten, Dior and Patricia have been life sworn enemies. Despite Dior being the future alpha, Patricia never respected or feared him. She was always a daring omega, not afraid of stating her opinion. With age, the venom runs thicker in their veins. While Dior becomes popular and sought-after, Patricia finds herself bullied by the entire pack. Sick of the treatment she receives, Patricia decides to go rogue, only for fate to laugh her in the face—it turns out the alpha she left is her mate.

Menjadi seorang single parent adalah pilihan hidup Kinara, pula sebagai jalan untuk menebus rasa bersalahnya terhadap Dirga, mantan suaminya. Pada mulanya kehidupan dirinya beserta Axel, sang putra baik-baik saja, semua berjalan sesuai keinginannya. Namun, semua berubah semenjak kedatangan ayah biologis dari si balita tampan, Daniel. Pria itu kembali datang, memorak-porandakan tatanan hidupnya yang semula tenang, tentu untuk mengambil kembali apa yang seharusnya menjadi miliknya. "Kau adalah milikku, seutuhnya, dan selama-lamanya."

Losing her mother, Julia didn't stop her father from getting married again, her father's happiness was very important to her despite her reluctance. But she was only cheated on by her stepmother and sister. On her wedding day, she was drugged because of which she spent the night with an unknown man and endured the darkest moment of her life. Her boyfriend was taken away from her besides her father's shadow. She was forced to leave the country but her fate brought her back again to the place. Julia came back with a boy, her boy. Everything was going well but then she meets the man she spent the night with and the man was a Billionaire mafia, Joshua. [Mature content] “Sign this contract if you wish to see your family alive," Joshua roared at the disobedient woman. “What is this?” Julia asked in fear. “This is the agreement about you staying with me until I lose my interest in you,” Joshua smirked. When he came to know that he had a boy with the same woman he wanted to possess, then there will be havoc.

Bonjour Readers! I am Ishika Sehgal and I am an author in Wattpad and Chapters- the interactive stories. And now I am here too! Please support MRIDULA ROY !22 year old physiotherapist! Smart, bubbly, innocent and shy! She has a happy family with her parents who loved her like there is no tomorrow! What happens when her prince charming will enter her oh so perfect life? YUVRAJ SINGHANIA! 25 year old young businessman and politician! Strict, possessive, ruthless and powerful! He has a very beautiful and large family whom he loves more than anything else! What happens when the beauty stumbles upon the beast? To get to know more about the story please read my story and support me! Thank you, Ishika Sehgal x

WARNING: THIS BOOK CONTAINS EXPLICIT SCENES AND MATURE ELEMENTS, SUITABLE ONLY FOR READERS AGED 18 AND ABOVE. Read at your own discretion. Blaze Arden Vaughn is an heir to a huge empire. An ace student of the medical faculty. Exceptionally handsome, sweet, and nice. His name signifies fire but his heart is as cold as ice. Ace Daxton Anderson is a known 'one-night stand' guy and bi. A gang leader who won't back down from a gang fight and is not afraid to be bruised just to prove his point. Both have their own territory, not knowing each other's existence. Until the day the Ice Prince fixed his cold gaze on the very hot gang leader on the field. "You want me that bad... your eyes were screaming it out loud..." Blaze announced with his challenging tone. A calm smile adorned his face, making Ace's jaw clench while their gazes locked. "I can smell your desire even from afar..." Blaze continued with a very subtle smirk, making Ace grit his teeth. "Who would not? You are Blaze Arden Vaughn. The epitome of perfection. Everybody's dream guy" Ace sarcastically responded, a smirk grazed his lips. His jaw clenched in annoyance not with Blaze but with himself. "So Ace Anderson, want to try, a Blaze Arden Vaughn for tonight?" Blaze smirked as he casually asked. A one-night stand offered by the cold Blaze Arden Vaughn, just one night of pleasure… one night of curiosity.

"I don't like you, Mr. Decarlo,"He eyed me with his stormy grey orbs. "The feeling's mutual,"In which Newton's laws of attraction have been violated...️Aeliana Winslow, has to endure two whole years of physics lectures conducted by the awfully attractive Spaniard, Professor Antonio Decarlo.

WARNING: MATURE CONTENT Isabella Monte is distraught when her family loses everything. Determined not to lose her parents, she swore on her father's hospital bed to get back all they had lost, however her father told her that it was futile as their suffering was caused by Angelo Flores, the wealthiest bachelor in Panama. Angelo would stop at nothing to completely get rid of the Monte's as he blames them for the death of his parents and sister. While at the hospital with her father, Isabella is visited by none other than Angelo and a deal is placed before her. "Marry me and I will let your family go." Against her father's will, Isabella agrees to Angelo's demands. Her hatred for him is stronger than ever as she vows to make him pay for her family's suffering. But, what happens when Isabella finds herself falling for the enemy?

“When done properly, this position can be most satisfying for a woman because it allows deep penetration." I open my mouth to respond, but all that comes out is a staggered breath and a small sigh. He chuckles, a low, rough rumble and then leans down and kisses the middle of my back. I feel the tip of him again at my entryway. He pushes in slightly, and my body comes to life again. My muscles react to his presence, contracting and loosening, as if my body is trying to suck him deep inside. He's my husband's boss, so this is supposed to be wrong. So why does it feel so right? *** Braxton Merriweather always gets what he wants. Now, he wants her--Julia Thompson, the wife of one of his workers. From the moment he first laid eyes on her, he knew he had to possess her in every way. When Jeff Thompson takes him up on the bargain he proposes, Braxton is shocked. He's even more surprised when Mrs. Thompson agrees. But now that he's had a taste of her, he wants more. How can he possess a woman who's already married to someone else? Julia feels trapped by her marriage to her high school sweetheart. In the two years since they've been married, he's changed, and not for the better. When billionaire Braxton Merriweather shows interest in her, she's flattered. And intrigued. Is it possible that one of the richest men in the world could really want her? And if so... what does she do about her husband? One Weekend with the Billionaire is a sexy story for mature readers. Previously published on some platforms as the award winning novel The Billionaire CEO's Bargain.

WARNING: MATURE CONTENT Tisha Stewart, a twenty two year old virgin gets her life turned upside down in just one day. She loses her wealthy father to the cold hands of death, she learns that her fake friend who stole her boyfriend is her step-sister, and to top it all, she is forced to spend the night with an old sleazebag to pay off her late father's supposed debt. Spencer Grant is a handsome and sexy billionaire who avoids being in the spotlight. When a business rival attempts to set him up and spikes his drink, Spencer books a hotel room and orders an escort. In a twist of fate, Tisha ends up in Spencer's hotel room. She needs a place to hide and he needs a woman to pass the night. Spencer mistakes Tisha for the escort he ordered and they spend a passionate night. When he wakes up in the morning, Spencer finds Tisha gone. Not only is there no trace of her but the evidence of her innocence stares him right in the face. Now Spencer is determined to find this mysterious girl who has not only stolen his heart but whose face now haunts his dreams. THIS BOOK CAN BE READ AS A STANDALONE