you re so old jokes one liners

Inabutan ko na mag-isa at abalang nagsusulat ang guro na nakahuli ng atensyon ko. Hinila ko ang necktie niya atsaka nilapit ang mukha niya sa mukha ko. Bigla ko siyang hinalikan sa labi… matamis iyon ang una kong naisip. “What do you think you're doing, Ms. Faunteen?! Get out in my office!” “Marking my special toy, Mr. Dereux.” Kumindat ako na siyang lalong ikinausok ng matangos niyang ilong. Tumayo siya at binuhat ako palabas ng pinto ng office niya. Pagkatapos ay marahas niya akong pinagsarhan ng pinto. Shit! Bakit ganun?! Ako ang nang-aakit pero bakit parang ako pa ang naakit? How dare him ignore and blatantly reject my near Aphrodite-beauty?!

Christian was back in her life again. Not just him, his family and business also and she wants nothing of it. But he has the answer to her most troubling need and it wouldn't be the worst thing on earth to accept his help, even though he was offering it from a place of resentment. For Christian, Belle left him when he needed her the most. When he was at his deepest hell and needed her by his side. Now, she's back with a problem only he can solve and he has the opportunity to punish her for her crimes. But what happens when his desires for her overshadows the hate he has in his heart? And worse, when he didn't want it to?

Warning: 18+ only. Featuring hardcore taboo and age-gap erotica. This is an erotic boxset containing yet another twelve stories of irresistible steam, steam, fun, and naughty stories. If you're not up to eighteen, this book is not for you. Get ready to be intrigued. To feel. To...burn. --------- "You think I'm a softie?" My voice is deceptively gentle when the rest of me is so hard. "Do you know why I pulled over?" "Why?" she says, seeming to hold her breath. "I pulled over because I know tight pussy when I see it." I frame her jaw with my right hand, tilting her blushing face up toward mine. "I'd like to fuck you on all fours, right here in the middle of the road, little girl. Rough as you can stand. Still think I'm a softie?" "No," she gasps, the green of her eyes deepening to a forest shade. "I don't." "Good."

In the eighteenth century Asia, nestled in eastern Korea, there was a peaceful and the most captivating kingdom called Noam, but even Confucius had his misfortunes. It was time when the royal family of Noam experienced a tragic incident. Queen Iseul, the beautiful fair royal consort of Noam, did something heinous against a poor girl with the help of a Shaman. The dying girl, with no other alternative, viciously cursed the Queen's unborn twins leaving behind a scar in the walls of the royal family. From there, the foundation of an unfortunate event started to set it's roots. The heart wrenching saga of misfortune inaugurated. The Devil's Bible was the last resort to lift up the curse, but unfortunately the solution to lift the curse leads to a bloody path. The major part of the story revolves around Si-ri, the cursed child and her journey to freedom. A girl who has been imprisoned in an old mansion by her father to ensure her safety.

True is an ex assassin,Joe, Josephine is an actress,with a secret disorder,which makes her want to live the life of her characters. True's grandad might not make it quarter way through the new year,and requests one thing from True. That he gets himself a girlfriend. Will True be able to find someone he can truly relate to and can Joe find solace somewhere and learn her who she really is? Can they both work together,pretending to be a couple and get the one thing they both need from the world. Can they both find freedom?

It’s all started with a flirt. It wasn’t a surprise to me that he’s a playboy—it’s all written all over his pretty face. He’s a kind of guy your mom warned you about, but your body craves. It might be hard to accept, but I’ve been in a dry spell for a long time. So maybe he’s the answer, but the charming, cocky, and brutally honest playboy made me feel like no men ever did. And pretty soon, I was in too deep. *** It wasn’t a part of my plan. In fact, I never have imagined my life to be with someone more than just to warm my bed, let alone a woman with a kid, but just a single look at her gorgeous blue eyes, I’m already confused—I’ve never been drawn to any women the way I was drawn to her.

Alpha Lucas - My brothers and I wanted nothing to do with her. She was a freak and was just good enough for our pranks and bullying. It's been that way since mid-school, junior high, and now, senior high. When the full-moon night came for us to choose a mate, the moon Goddess got a little tipsy and made her my mate. I rejected her on the spot and that was the last time we ever saw the freak. But seven years later, she found her way back to us. We saw her rocking a stripper pole, and she wasn't the freak anymore. She was a bloody, sexy stripper. And now, I'm at war with my brothers for who really have dibs on her… EMILY - I was a victim of bullying, mistreatment, and abuse. The Alpha brothers wouldn't let me be. And the night I thought I'd find a mate who'd protect me from them, turned into a nightmare. I was mated to Alpha Lucas, and he rejected me. I fled Bloodhound Pack with a bleeding heart. But five years later, the brothers crawled back into my life, begging to own me. Each one of them would wager anything just to have me forever. What an irony! Never did I see this twist coming… —------------------------------------------------ When Emily Lopez finds herself caught between the Alpha brothers, what would her ultimate decision be? String them along, play with their hearts like they played with hers, or settle for one and let the others go? Maybe the first option would be ideal, after all, they all had a good size between their legs, and she always gets wet staring at them.

Ashley Grey knows better than to get involved with her bestfriend that's in a relationship. She has been keeping her feelings for him a secret for years. Until one day they are dared to kiss each other. Then everything is flipped between them. Stolen kisses, touches and a whole lot of tension. These two go on a journey that will either drift them apart or pull them even closer. “ I can’t be your friend Ley when I know how you taste.” This book is part of a series: Book 1: Badboy Asher Book 2: His Blonde Temptress Book 3: Loving The Enemy Book 4: Bestfriends Shouldn't Know How You Taste

"This is all your fault, so make your existence worth for once in your life and fix this!" Her aunt screeched at her. She let tears freely flow down from her face. It was all her fault, her mistake that her family had to suffer. "Aunty please, I will do anything to fix this." She begged. "Good, then prepare yourself, you are getting married." Blair Andrews had a seemingly perfect life until one day her determination let to the downfall of their business. Now she had only one way, to get married and save their company. But it wouldn't be easy with dangerous people on her tail.

Take my life but don't ruin my soul, please... I....I am a widow, " Tears were streaming down from her eyes by watching that demonic human hovering over her and she softly hissed, when he slightly pressed the tip of the knife against her chin. "I didn't take your husband's life in front of your own eyes so that I could let you go, " And her gaze got befuddled when she had found him to wipe the that knife against those tears in the corner of her eyes which made her fear to engulf her more vigorously because she thought he was going to pierce it into her skin because she had seen him taking uncountable number of lives with no remorse. She again shut her lashes and waited to feel the sharp pain of her skin penetration but in the very next second, she felt the knife to get apart from her skin and warm drops of liquid falling on her lips and her eyes got opened when that liquid proceeded inside her parted lips and her tongue felt that metallic taste and see saw his palm bleeding. She teared up like a child by watching his soul quivering smirk. "Leave me.. Lea..." Her words got stucked into her throat when she felt his palm to grab her jaw which made her stirred and then she looked into his flaming darken eyes with her redden watery ones and her body turned numb ,feeling his palm getting inside her panties whereas, her eyes never stopped shedding tears . "Why ? " That question fell out from her mouth which was reeking over her whole existence that why . Why she was going to endure all of that and why she was fated to get ruined by him ? "BECAUSE I AM AN INSANE FOR YOU "