tell me a filipino joke

Akhir-akhir ini banyak cerita yang beredar tentang sebuah bisikan. “Bawa aku pulang!” Namun hanya beberapa orang tertentu yang dapat mendengarnya, salah satunya Kila, teman baik Azkia. Suara bisikan itu berasal dari pengikut sekte agama yang sudah lama disiksa, bahkan dibunuh dengan sadis. Pemimpin sekte itu memiliki kekuatan yang hebat untuk melawan pengikut yang sulit diatur. Namun bagi pengikut setianya, akan terjamin hidup bahagia setelah meninggal tanpa menerima siksa neraka. Makanya setiap jemaat dari pemimpin sekte itu memiliki aktivitas yang mencurigakan, bahkan sangat tertutup. Bukan pertama kali bagi Azkia bertemu dengan orang-orang yang mencurigakan dan jarang berbaur, karena tujuh puluh persen dari keluarganya termasuk penganut sekte dan aturan yang sama namun beda pimpinan. Azkia sangat muak dengan sikap keluarganya yang berbuat semena-mena pada dirinya, bahkan saudara sepupunya berani melecehkan harga dirinya. Dapatkah Azkia membawa pulang jiwa-jiwa yang tersesat setelah dirinya tercemplung dalam jurang maut?

WARNING 21+ BUKAN UNTUK DI BAWAH UMUR Sepuluh tahun, dan Diva masih belum mengingat sosok pria yang selalu memanggilnya BE di dalam mimpi. Sampai dia bertemu Juna, pria yang mengaku sebagai sosok itu. Namun, Diva tidak percaya, meski dia merasa mengenal Juna. Benarkah Juna adalah pria yang selalu hadir di setiap mimpi Diva? Lalu, kenapa Diva tidak mengenali Juna? Mengapa Juna mengatakan kalau Diva sudah meninggal?

A prophecy when a alpha and witch together make a girl child and mate with the enemy alpha if he truly accept her is then the cursed will be lift. Curse is short life span of 47 years. When Alpha of Shadow night pack already reached 44 and his daughter turned 18, they don't have much time left. She ran to the enemy territory to for her father and fall in love with her mate. She have some powers which she can't control. Enemy Alpha Sioux is most dangerous and ruthless and already rejected 3 mates so far, how will she survive and how he will tamed her...

I'm eight months pregnant when I suddenly faint on the train. My husband panics and cries for help as he kneels beside me. An interning doctor hurries to me. She doesn't bother checking my condition before saying, "The patient needs to undergo a C-section! We have to get the baby out now, or it might die of suffocation!" Then, she slices me open with a fruit knife—she doesn't take any precautionary measures before doing so. She takes my child out. I'm in so much pain that I don't even have the strength to scream. My blood flows everywhere. Yet, a photo of her holding my baby while standing in a pool of blood goes viral. People call her the prettiest doctor alive. My husband and his family are eternally grateful to her. They don't go after her for causing my death; they even make her my child's godmother! Meanwhile, I'm given a simple cremation. No one cares about me. After my death, all my assets go to my husband and his family. Only then do I hear my husband and the doctor talking to each other, sounding smug. "This plan killed two birds with one stone. We got rid of that woman and made ourselves out to be heroes!" That's when I learn the interning doctor is my husband's junior from high school. They got together when he accompanied me to my prenatal checkups! She failed her internship, so my husband came up with this idea—he wanted to use my death to boost her reputation and help her! Even my child eventually died under their "care". When I open my eyes again, I'm taken back to the day we get on the train.

"From now on, you're mine, Zamara." Paulit-ulit na umalingawngaw sa isipan ni Zamara Lopez ang mga salitang ito, mula pagkabata hanggang sa siya ay maging ganap na dalaga. Anak siya ng isang simpleng magsasaka, namuhay nang payak, ngunit isang lalaki ang nagpabago sa takbo ng kanyang kapalaran—si Davis Santillian. Dating itinuring niyang tiyuhin, ngayon ay tinatawag niyang "ex-uncle." Ngunit bakit? Ano ang nangyari sa pagitan nila na nagpabago sa kanilang relasyon? Sa edad na 30, si Davis ay isang makapangyarihang negosyante na may madilim na nakaraan, at si Zamara, na ngayo’y 22, ay isang babaeng pilit iniiwasan ang anino ng kanyang nakaraan. Ngunit sa muli nilang pagtatagpo, hindi na siya bibitawan ni Davis. Isang kwento ng pag-ibig, pag-aari, at mga lihim na pilit itinatago ng nakaraan. Totoo bang may kalayaan si Zamara, o sadyang hindi niya matatakasan ang lalaking minsan niyang itinuring na pamilya?

Namaku Reyner Zelyoorh, tetapi aku tidak menyukai namaku bahkan aku tidak menyukai hidupku. Cukup panggil aku dengan kata, Reyn. Aku yang tidak menyukai hidupku ini justru dipertemukan dengan mereka yang sangat mencintai hidupnya. Orang-orang aneh dengan seribu tingkah lakunya itu membuat aku menyadari makna hidup yang sesungguhnya. Diawali dengan penculikan yang ku lakukan bersama keempat anak buahku membuatku menemukan dunia baru yang lebih indah dari duniaku yang selalu kelam dan suram. Lantas bagaimana jika orang-orang yang baru saja aku sayangi tiba-tiba dalam bahaya akibat perjanjian konyol yang ku lakukan?

"Are you expecting anyone mum?" I asked She turned to me and shook her head, showing that she wasn't expecting anyone. Abruptly, the door opened. Oliver and I ran to mum and held her hand. We heard someone step into the room and the footsteps kept getting louder. I tightened the grip on my mothers hand burying my face in her gown, suddenly the footstep stopped and there was silence in the room. Read more to find out what happened.

I was still holding moma in my hand, I was clouded with tears and was soaked in a pool of blood. Suddenly one man walked in and saw the pool of blood on the ground while I was crying. "W..what have you done?" I looked up to meet his gaze "n..no I didn't do anything" "You killed her!!!" "You evil child!!" He screamed and suddenly other men troop in "What!!!!? They all chorused to the occurrence, I stood trying to defend myself but they didn't believe and conspired to kill me " No, I am innocent" I cried, but they don't believe me and teamed up against me as they have always done. I was dragged out to the street like an animal to be killed "Leave me alone!" "Somebody help me..." I cried out "Evil child!!" "Witch!!" "Bastard" they all screamed at my face "No please, I am innocent I didn't kill her" i said "Go away, is that how you could repay someone who has to help you all through your life? You must pay for what you have done" he smirk "Somebody help me" I cried out. But to no avail, I was dragged on the ground like a nobody, I was bleeding, bruised and weak from the tortures, i lay helplessly waiting for my death. Just through the crowed I saw a ray of a light from a car then I mount up a small energy I ran away from the crowed but they followed me. As I screamed the accelerated car came in halt in front of me, but my vision was blurry and I could only see a glimpse of a man Find out what happened to Lisa when she wakes up in a house of a stranger

My mom had a sudden heart attack, and the medical bills were piling up faster than I could breathe. I was desperate, so I turned to my rich boyfriend, hoping he could help, or at least offer some kind of solution. But instead of the support I expected, he unleashed a tirade that hit harder than anything I'd ever heard. "So this is why you're with me? Just for my money? You're no different from those other women throwing themselves at me. You're all the same—pathetic and shameless!" Before I could even react, he shoved me out the door. Later, when he finally understood the full story, he handed me a bank card, no questions asked. "Candice," he said quietly, his tone almost remorseful. "The password is your birthday." I didn't say a word. I just let the card drop onto the floor and walked away without looking back.

Princess Arielle, that's what she's been called her whole life. She's brave, disciplined, upthight and beautiful. When a threat is made to her life, Princess Arielle becomes Marissa, a common maid to the very enemy who threatened her life. Prince Scott, the guy every girl wants. Fun-loving, Care-free, Impulsive. In other words Arielle's opposite. When Scott goes on a business trip to Revillon he finds himself enthralled with his maid who seems like more than he can handle. Trouble arises when Prince Scott falls in love with the very lady, he came to get help to destroy.