pinoy q and a jokes

"Cheat on him," panimula nito at nagulat ako sa sinabi nya. "W-What?" "Cheat on him and let him find out or see that you cheated, then divorce Elthon." "Bakit? Bakit ko naman gagawin yon sa asawa ko?!" "You know from that I don't like you for my son! Kong hindi ka lang buntis nong time na pinakasalan ka nya hinding-hindi ako papayag na kayong dalawa magpakasal ng araw na yon, tapos ano? Dahil sa katangahan mo nakunan ka! And now I want you to stay away from my son at wag na wag kang mag papakita ulit sakanya!" "No, I love Elthon, Tita. Hinding-hindi ko sya hihiwalaya--" "Kung gusto mo pang makita ang mga magulang mo, susunod ka sa sasabihin ko."

Blood and Moon is a story between two packs. One master and the other slave. The two packs are forced to live at each other's mercy because of the witch wars that has scorched the world and covered their earth in death and ash, blocking most of the earth from the sun. Isolated on their land, Moons try to survive, living amid the Bloods, their betters. Desire Dawson is a Moon that had just graduated and planned on leaving when her stepfather signed her up to work at the Blood's packhouse without her consent so he could receive her wages. She was sent to work in a place where she was regarded as a lesser wolf. The wages were good, and her life would have been easy there if Adam Kingston, the son of the Blood's Alpha King and only heir, did not take interest in her. This is the first book in the Blood and Moon series. It focuses on the love story between Desire and Adam during the witch wars. *Can be read alone*

SUDAH TAMAT! CERITA DEWASA GARIS KERAS 21+++++  DENGAN ALUR PENUH KEJUTAN YANG TIDAK BAKAL MUDAH DITEBAK! Karena dendam di masa lalunya Jeremy menjadi sosok yang dingin, keji, dan membenci anak-anak. Jeremy Loghan menawarkan kontrak pernikahan kepada Geby agar dia bisa mengurus keponakannya yang baru menjadi yatim piatu. Geby setuju karena Jeremy bersumpah tidak akan menyentuhnya, Geby tidak harus melakukan tugas seorang istri. Jeremy Loghan adalah seorang BILLIONAIRE super kaya raya, dia bisa melakukan apa saja sesuka hatinya, tampan luarbisa tapi kasar dan nyaris tanpa hati hingga kemudian dia bertemu Geby yang pantang menyerah untuk berontak dari kekuasaannya. Cerita ini akan penuh kebencian, dendam, dan konspirasi yang licik dari keluarga bangsawan kaya raya!  (seting cerita Yorkshire Inggris sejarah dan budaya akan menyesuaikan) [Aku hanya akan menulis tentang karakter wanita-wanita yang tangguh karena aku ingin semua wanita menjadi hebat]

Since childhood, Gael grew up in a messy family. There's no day and night that Gael does not see his father abusing his mother and his younger brother, and himself. Because his father abused his mother, one day he woke up only to find that his mother had left the two of them in the care of their abusive father. Since then, Gael lost his smile, and fate became cruel to him. Gael's mixed-up life became even more difficult after encountering a cruel Gangster... What fateful events would unfold between the two?

Sa edad na bente-kuwatro ay nakapagpundar na si Zafhara Ziah Cledera ng isang negosyo, ito ay ang Ziah's Flower Shop. Dahil dito ay nagkaroon siya ng stable na income at sa pagsusumikap ay nakapagpatayo na rin siya ng sariling bahay. Isa na lamang ang para sa kaniya ay kulang, ang magkaroon ng isang anak. Naghanap siya ng taong babayaran upang maging sperm donor niya. Ngunit dahil sa hindi inaasahang pangyayari, ay nagkamali siya ng hotel unit na pinasukan. And she saw Braxien Philip Saavedra, a billionaire turn out to be her sperm donor. Anong mangyayari kung sakaling malaman ni Braxien na nagbunga ang isang gabi ng pagkakamali ni Ziah? Hahayaan ba ni Ziah na makuha na lamang basta ang anak niya? O gagawa siya ng paraan para kapwa nila makasama ang anak?

Romeo, the youngest son of the king of vampires, and Julius, the crown prince of werewolves, mortal enemies in a war that has lasted 200 years, meet for the first time at college and discover that they are soulmates. The denial, the attempt at rejection, does not overcome the matebond that binds them, leaving them lost between the war, the obvious opposition of the species, and the hatred that the kings feel for each other. Like a Romeo and Juliet from the fantastic world, could the two overcome the inevitable tragedy, transforming the story of their lives into a true romance where love can conquer all?

"Ganyan ka ba talaga kadesperada, Airith? Pati kapatid ko ay pipikutin mo para lang guminhawa ang buhay mo? Pera lang ba talaga ang habol mo sa isang lalaki?" Iyan ang katagang dumurog sa puso ni Airith sa muli niyang pagbabalik sa bahay ng pamilya Vergara, lalo pa't nagmula mismo ang mga salitang iyon sa dati niyang asawang si Sebastian. Anak ng pinakamayamang negosyante sa kanilang syudad si Airith Almazan, pero inilihim niya ang pagkakakilanlan niya sa pamilya Vergara. Kaakibat ng kontrata nilang kasal ni Sebastian ay itrinato lang siya sa pamamahay ng pamilya nito na higit pa sa isang katulong sa loob ng isang taon, hindi bilang isang manugang. Hindi lang iyon, napagdesisyunan pa ni Sebastian na makipaghiwalay sa kanya sa parehong araw na ibabalita niya sana rito ang tungkol sa kanyang pagbubuntis. Makalipas ang dalawang taon, isang araw ay ipinadukot siya ni Stephen, ang nakatatandang kapatid ni Sebastian. Humingi ito ng tulong sa kanya at inalukan siya nito ng isang pekeng kasal upang tuluyan na nitong manahin ang kumpanya at maisalba sa nagbabadyang pagbagsak. Nalaman niya mula rito na mayroong makapangyarihang tao ang umaatake sa kumpanya ng pamilya Vergara kaya ito nalagay sa ganoong sitwasyon. Saka niya lang din nalaman na kagagawan pala mismo iyon ng kanyang ama, upang kaparusahan sa pang-aapi sa kanya ng pamilya Vergara noon. Sa kagustuhang ayusin ang ginawa ng kanyang ama, napagdesisyunan niya na tulungan si Stephen. Kasama ito ay muli siyang nagbalik sa bahay ng pamilya Vergara. Kalaunan, ang akala niyang pekeng kasal nila ni Stephen ay unti-unti na palang nagiging totoo kasabay ng unti-unting pagkahulog ng kanyang loob dito.

If you used pen as your weapon in fighting for life, I used guns to fight on my own life. *** Clayton Perkin, a lovable, kind and softboy; he was born poor but it never crossed in his mind to become wealthy, just his mother and him he already happy and satisfied with it. But everything changed when his mother got sick and he needs millions for his mother's surgery. That's when he meet Lorcan, the multi-billionaire that has a lot of secret under his closet.

Si Mariya Luiesa Inocencio ay isang desi nuebe anyos na dalaga. Mag-isang itinaguyod ng ina at kapwa sandigan ang bawat isa. Kaya nang magkaroon ng malubhang karamdaman ang ina ay handa niyang gawin ang lahat upang maipagamot lamang ito. Kapalit ng sariling dignidad, pikit-matang isinalang ni Mariya ang sarili sa isang subasta. Ang matipunong binata na nakabili sa kaniya ay walang iba kundi si Montgomery Brylly Montañez III—isang tanyag at multibilyunaryong negosyante na nangangailangan ng anak upang makuha ang atensyon ng sariling ama na ninanais nitong lubos. Magawa kaya nilang punan ang pangangailangan ng isa’t isa? O ang mga paraan nilang iyon ang maghahatid sa kanila tungo sa mas komplikadong sitwasyon?

CAROLINE PATRICIA FROWLINE, is the illegitimate daughter of Mr. Frowline. Nang ipinanganak siya ay namatay ang kanyang ina kaya hindi ito naikasal sa kanyang ama. Kahit na ganun ay lumaki siyang mabait, magalang at masipag. May potensyal sa negosyo ang dalaga so she gave her all into it. May pinupusuan siyang binata pero hindi niya ito tinuunan ng pansin dahil alam niyang wala siyang pag-asa—not until both of their fathers arranged their marriage. Tumutol siya nung una, pero pumayag na rin siya. Alang-alang sa ama niya, at dahil mahal niya ang binata. Caroline thought that once she married him, he would bring heaven to her—but it turned out to be the other way around. Sa simula lang pala maayos ang lahat. She lost their first baby because of him. He keeps hurting her every time umuuwi ito galing trabaho. It was endless misery until one day, she saw him lying on the ground outside, unconscious with blood on his chest. She was seen on the crime scene, so the police took her into custody and accused her of murdering her husband. She was sent to jail for 8 years. When she got out, akala niya ay OKAY na ang lahat, but when she went to her father's house, she was kicked out. She was left with nothing. The accusation of her killing her husband changed her life, pero hindi sumuko si Caroline. Nangako siyang babangon siyang muli at binago ang kanyang katauhan bilang ROSITA MANSALANG. Namasukan siya bilang katulong sa binatang si CROSS RAVEN WOODSMAN—isang binata na obsessed sa kanya. Pero malamig pa sa yelo, at walang sinasanto pag-dating sa ibang tao. At parte ang binata ng isang malaking organisasyon sa bansa. Tatanggapin kaya ni Rosita ang pag-ibig ng binata sa kanya? O may matutuklasan ang binata sa kanya?