funny mom jokes dirty

Usually girls loves to shop and paint their nails. But not for Valerie Hernandez. Unlike every other girls, she loves dealing with cars. She could even spend hours in the garage. This year will be Valerie last year in high school. The thought of her graduating with her boyfriend and best friend bring a smile to her face. Unexpectedly, a new student is transferring to her school. Once she laid eyes on him, she know her senior year won't go as smoothly as she thinks. What happen when Valerie and the the new student became friend? Will she feel annoyed or the exact opposite? Knowing Valerie has a boyfriend, can she choose between the two of them?

Poppy Brooks wanted nothing but the best for Kelly Brooks, her five-year-old baby girl.  She had already forgotten almost everything about Nolan, her divorced husband after being an asshole when she got pregnant to Kelly. However, Poppy's peaceful life was ruined when her ex-husband started asking for a second chance. Another source of Poppy's headache? It was another man, Sebastian Holding, a famous billionaire saying she ruined his wedding.  What. The. Heck? How did she ruin his wedding when they only see each other now?! Men. Will. Always. Be. A. Pain. In. The. Butt.

On the day of our marriage registration, Henry Davis’s first love returned.For her sake, he left me at the city hall.He said it was dangerous at night, so he brought his first love back to our new house.I, who was forced to leave, however, encountered a violent criminal.After narrowly escaping death, I finally made up my mind to leave him.But he cried and begged me to stay.I found it ridiculously funny and said, "Do you think I can accept a jerk like you who has no principles?"

My family has always considered me a harbinger of misfortune. It's all because I can see a countdown to my relatives' deaths. I tell them when my grandfather, father, and mother will die. It all comes true due to various accidents. My three brothers hate me to the core because they think I cursed my parents and grandfather. My mother actually dies after giving birth to my younger sister, but my brothers dote on her to no end. They say she's their lucky star because everything goes well for the family after she's born. But didn't Mom die while giving birth to her? On my 18th birthday, I see my death countdown when I look at myself in the mirror. I buy an urn I like and prepare a meal. I want to have one last meal with my brothers, but none of them show up even when the timer hits zero…

"...there will be no other men, I'm a very possessive stalker..." he breathed his words heavily while biting my ear. "Luka...please..." I moaned my words and thrust my hips as his fingers pleased me, taking me higher with each stroke. "Say it...say that you will be mine..." My mind was clouded by lust, but somehow I knew that I was already his. that I wanted no one else since he kissed me. "...yours, I will be yours, I am yours..." my hand caressed his hair and he was back to kissing my lips. ***** Olga, you're his daughter,you're the heiress,you're coming back to him. That was the nail to my coffin. That was my fate. That was my doom. Luka,she's the boss's daughter,she's way above your league,she's never going to fall for you. That was the ugly truth. That was the reality. That was the fact. She's a player He's a nerd How will the two struggle? How will their love flourish? How will their relationship grow? Olga: I'm not sure with the title though... I'm perfectly nice and loving. Luka: Why do you need to state the V thing author? As if being a geek is not enough?

Because of one night stand everything will change. ***** Maria Isabella Dimasali lived a normal life. She was not born with a golden spoon in her mouth but she is grateful to have an amazing parents and a bestfriend. She is always positive in life na kahit mahirap ang buhay ay nagagawa nyang ngumiti. Denrick Moncuedo is a rich businessman. He was called as a dragon in disguise and some even named him as the demon in a corporate suit. He is ruthless, merciless in the eyes of many people. But deep inside, he is just a broken man. Broken like a shattered glass. He doesn't want to move on. He wants to stay in the same position where his first love left him. Two different person with a very total different personality. Fate will make a way to cross their path. What will happen if this two person with a different personality will meet and work with each other? (COMPLETED)

21++ (BANYAK ADEGAN BERBAHAYA, TIDAK UNTUK DITIRU!) AKANKAH ADA KESEMPATAN KEDUA SAAT KAMU MENDAPATI SUAMI KAMU MENGHAMILI WANITA LAIN? Cinta mereka akan diuji, ketika keduanya berada di negara asing. Mampukah Rara bertahan, atau malah meninggalkan Gerald karena satu kesalahan manis yang tak bisa dimaafkan? Cinta, pengkhianatan, pertengkaran, kepercayaan, rahasia, kesempatan dikemas menjadi satu cerita.

"Beg me to be your mate and maybe I will consider it," Zayn said. How could he say those words to me after humiliating me for years? Did he really think I would want to be his mate just because he was my master? The Alpha's Heir? Was he out of his mind? "Kneel and beg me to be yours, Amelia." I stared at him as I knelt slowly, a smile curled on his lips and a satisfactory look clouded his face at the power he had over me, but my next words took him off guard. "I, Amelia Wright, reject you, Zayn Andino, as my mate," I blurted out on my knees. "How dare you?" Zayn questioned, grabbing me by my arm aggressively. "Who the hell do you think you are? You are just a dirty little Omega. How dare you say those words to me?" "Let go of my mate," I heard a voice behind Zayn. We both turned to see the golden eyes man earlier from Alpha Hector office yelling at Zayn. * * * Amelia reluctantly becomes a maid for Alpha Hector's wealthy family. Bound by her mother's debts, she endures the torment of Alpha Hector's son, Zayn, and his girlfriend, Nicole. Hope shines when Alpha Hector promises her freedom on her upcoming birthday, but fate has a unique plan. As her first transformation into a wolf unravels, she stumbles upon a shocking truth, that Zayn is her mate. How could the man who had tortured her all these years be her mate? Her fate is far from twisted when she rejects Zayn as her mate and realizes that she has another mate, Atlas Synder.

"Stop right there, Evan! You can't fool me." Grace stretched out her hands to the right and left, preventing her best friend from leaving. "I know you're hiding something." Evan crossed his arms over his chest. "Don't be so confident. And please, know your place. I have the power to replace you with anyone else." He leaned toward her and whispered to her ear. "Or, are you trying to seduce me? How much is your rate for one night?" Upon hearing it, Grace gave him a smack across the face. She was silent for a moment in disbelief. Tears started to roll down her cheeks. "You're so mean, Evan. I-hate-you," she said, heartbroken. She turned away from him without further ado. Evan teared up too, looking at his best friend leaving. "I'm sorry, Grace. I had to do it. We can't be together," he said weakly. Grace and Evan became best friends after he saved her and her mother following a traffic collision. Their friendship grew stronger for years until they became inseparably fond of each other. However, fate played jokes on them. They had to separate for years, lose contact and bury their dreams. When they finally reunited in the same workplace, everything was not the same as it used to be.

She rubbed her forehead profusely, "You do, you could walk away and save yourself now and I will be fine and I will understand." He glanced at her and his gaze locked and there was a level of sincerity in them, "If I save myself, who's going to save you?" ***** Jasmin Whyte was a twenty-six-year-old thief who ran away from her boyfriend after she caught him cheating, an excuse to finally leave her old life behind and start over, but when she discovered that she was two weeks pregnant for her him, she began back to her old ways. It wasn't long before she fell into trouble which was how she ran into billionaire Cainan Inferno and her life took an unexpected turn. Cainan Inferno was a thirty-three-year-old Billionaire and the CEO of The Inferno group which was the largest company in the country. He once had it all with money and looks, but his life took a sour turn after he lost his wife Neriah Gomez to cancer. Meeting Jasmin Whyte sparked the feeling he thought was long dead and he knew the only one capable of helping him move on from his late wife was her. He tracked her down and made her an offer she couldn't refuse while ignoring all the threats her past posed to his name, reputation and social status. All he asks in return was for her to steal his heart. Will she be able to do the one thing he asks or will she lose her heart in the process?