funny mom jokes dirty

“Maverick, you never loved me all these years, did you?” “Be good. You're just a substitute.” ___  Never did Valencia expect that what her crush thought of her was a substitute for another woman.  And never did she expect that the asshole would break the news to her after she gave herself to him a night before their wedding.  Unable to take in the heartbreak, Valencia fled on her wedding day.  Fast-forward to five years later; Valencia is now the anonymous owner of a company and the diligent mother of smart-ass quadruplets who think mom is the best and shouldn't be stressed. And the most important thing: Mom needs a capable boyfriend.  Someone dared to attack their mommy? Mom will face-slap, and if Mom can't, Quadruplet will!   A certain shameless man: ‘Darling, relax; I'll properly beat them up for you. After the beating, what do you think we should have next—a triplet or a sextuplet?’ Valencia: “….” Smartass quadruplets: Didn't you consider Mom to be a substitute? Scram. We don't recognize you!

Bianca needs a refuge. She ends at a weird place… the « Crossroads café » well named as it stands in the middle of nowhere and manage to get a job there. Little did she knows that the Crossroads café is the place in between packs… the only space where différents groups of werewolves can stop to take a break.

The three-year contractual marriage had fulfilled Ember’s dream.However, everyone knew that the dashing Caleb had his own dream with a woman called Penelope.His love returned, and the contract had ended, but Ember found herself pregnant with Caleb’s child.On the day that they were supposed to complete the divorce, something happened to Ember. Caleb could never find her again. Life seemed to have returned to normal, until one day when Caleb got drunk at a bar. His friends dialed a number saved as “Honey” - only to find it was Ember’s terminated number, not Penelope’s.******Only when Ember returned with her son did Caleb notice he had already fallen for her. He regretted his decision and began his journey to take his wife back. He would sacrifice everything for her.Then one day, when he once again held her hand and pulled her into his embrace, he said with a coarse voice, “Em, I already noticed you the day you gave the speech. When are you coming home? Our house has been so cold…”Ember pushed him away. “Stop acting so lovey-dovey with me. Our son’s watching…”The boy ran away and put his hands over his ears. “Bye, Mom! Bye, Dad!”

On my son’s birthday, my husband had asked his first love to pick our son up from our home. While I stubbornly refused to let him go, a huge fire broke out in the hallway during our standoff. I was struck by falling debris, and blood started streaming from my head. However, my son was unharmed as he lay beneath me. My husband, who was a firefighter, came forward to rescue us. But he handed the only gas mask he had to his first love. “Miss Leia has a weaker constitution. Dad, please get her out first. Mom, wait for the other firefighters to save you!” I watched them leave with a faint, bitter smile. It appeared that they had both forgotten my severe asthma and the fact that I would die without a gas mask.

"Mom, help! Dad locked me in the car!" It was 2:00 pm in the blazing heat of a summer afternoon, and my heart stopped when I heard my daughter's panicked voice. I immediately began searching for my daughter, but my husband sounded impatient when he answered my call. "Holly's in a bad mood. I'm taking her to the amusement park. Why are you overreacting? She'll be fine." He sounded annoyed and hung up immediately after he was done speaking. The dial tone buzzed in my ear, but all I could think was that he'd better pray nothing happened to her.

“Why does he always look so dirty?” Amara says making a face. I turn and look in the direction she’s facing and my heart beats faster. Leo is walking across the school parking lot to the school entrance. Leo has his down, he is a pair of jeans that are weathered. He paired it with a long white T-shirt and hoodie. I don’t see any dirt on him but maybe Amara has extra-ray vision. Maybe she can see something we don’t. “He doesn’t look dirty” Gea says and giggles. I want to say exactly but I don’t, whenever we talk about boys it always ends up in a fight. And I don’t want to fight today, we have tests today and I need good vibes only.

“You dare to think of another man in my presence?” The Alpha growled with a burning desire in his eyes. He glowered at Lavinia whose hands were tied. “What does that man have that I don’t? That filthy vampire, you think he’s going to save you?” His hands ran through her bare skin, sending shivers to her spine. “Please, leave me alone,” Lavinia begged in desperation. Tears welled up in her eyes. “Then be mine, Lavinia.” He leaned closer to her. His breath fanned her face. “I’ll make you the happiest woman alive.” Lavinia shook her head. She pursed her lips while watching the man in front of her. He may be a great man with power but her heart longed for someone else. “No. You’re not him… You’re not Sebastian.” "We had an unspoken deal: He gave me warmth, colors, and lies. In return, he asked for my blood when he's thirsty, my body when he's cold and my heart when he's bored. The funny part is, I still think it's quite a bargain." - Lavinia de Llava

#Cerita ini mengandung unsur dewasa dan (21+) bagi yang dibawah umur harap bijak memilih bacaan Menjadi seorang janda dan single mom membuat Aira stania harus berjuang mencari nafkah untuk menghidupi putrinya. Hingga dia bekerja dan harus menghadapi bos gila dan siallnya sangat tampan dan menawan yang menyeret Aira kedalam sisi gelap dalam diri Alex. "tidak ada pilihan untukmu beby, kau milikku! Kemanapun aku pergi dan membawamu kau harus menurut" Alex Teixeiria "aku bukan milikmu, kau tak bisa mengaturku semaumu, aku pemilik kehidupanku bukan dirimi PRIA BRENSEK....." Aira stania Murni imajinasi sendiri dilarang Copas/stop plagiarism. Mei 2020

He was darkness, sinfully gorgeous, a dangerous fantasy, a walking orgasm with strings of broken heart behind him a proof of his heartless nature. He was everything decadent yet delicious your mom warned you about. She wanted light He wanted her After running away from her abusive drug addict of a step father and a mother who was busy getting her next fix to care for a whiny 15 years old, Maya could safely say she have had it rough in life and just wanted her own happy ever after. A husband who adores her, a picket fence, a dog and three adorable children. After she catches her fantasized soulmate cheating on her with her Best friend, she is shattered which left her deciding to throw caution into the air once and indulge in a mind blowing one night stand. A one night stand which leaves her sprawled on the bed humiliated, turned on and intrigued about the hot stranger with the distant cold blue eyes who practically freaked out when he discovered she was a virgin. When her friend gets her a Job as a PA to the CEO of one of the biggest establishment in the country but turns out Mr CEO was the hot stranger and what's more? He wants to claim her in every way possible but Maya knows what a picket fence guy material looks like and her insanely hot brooding boss wasn't it.

I was sold as sex slave by my parents! My mom broke down in tears at this point as she shook her head as she murmured while sobbing. "I'm sorry, my dear... I'm sorry." Her expression looked as if she was truly guilty of me, but her backward steps betrayed her. I shuddered uncontrollably as I watched this unfold before me, desperately shaking my head as I struggled to deny it all. "No, no… I don't want this…" I looked at those men who were looking at me with excitement, as they had already removed their clothes. When I tried to move my thin body and escape from what they were trying to do, the two of them held both of my arms and my legs, trying to stop me from moving, as one of them was already on top of me. One of them sneered as he looked at me with arrogance. "Alpha King has other sex slaves anyway, so there's no harm in us enjoying this bitch first!" Tears broke out of my eyes as I begged them to stop what they were doing. "Stop… no… please don't…" Despite my hoarse voice and I could barely even speak, I pleaded for mercy. I plead that they won't do what they were planning to do. I am saving myself for my future mate. I… I hate this… But what the hell am I supposed to do!