funny mom jokes dirty

He was darkness, sinfully gorgeous, a dangerous fantasy, a walking orgasm with strings of broken heart behind him a proof of his heartless nature. He was everything decadent yet delicious your mom warned you about. She wanted light He wanted her After running away from her abusive drug addict of a step father and a mother who was busy getting her next fix to care for a whiny 15 years old, Maya could safely say she have had it rough in life and just wanted her own happy ever after. A husband who adores her, a picket fence, a dog and three adorable children. After she catches her fantasized soulmate cheating on her with her Best friend, she is shattered which left her deciding to throw caution into the air once and indulge in a mind blowing one night stand. A one night stand which leaves her sprawled on the bed humiliated, turned on and intrigued about the hot stranger with the distant cold blue eyes who practically freaked out when he discovered she was a virgin. When her friend gets her a Job as a PA to the CEO of one of the biggest establishment in the country but turns out Mr CEO was the hot stranger and what's more? He wants to claim her in every way possible but Maya knows what a picket fence guy material looks like and her insanely hot brooding boss wasn't it.

Gabriel, an ex-special forces soldier with his own security company, is called back to the small town his mom ran away from when he was a kid to help out the dying father he hasn’t seen in almost twenty years. The last thing he expects to find among the rough and rugged bikers in his dad’ Chapter is a literal diamond in the rough.The billionaire businessman can beat off calculating society belles with a stick, but he finds it hard to walk away from the shy and unassuming Silla. He feels protective and strangely drawn to her at first sight.With her life in danger, romance should be the last thing on his mind, but when he moves her into his home things, can’t help but reach boiling point.The Gentleman Biker is created by Jordan Silver, an eGlobal Creative Publishing Signed author.

I was sold as sex slave by my parents! My mom broke down in tears at this point as she shook her head as she murmured while sobbing. "I'm sorry, my dear... I'm sorry." Her expression looked as if she was truly guilty of me, but her backward steps betrayed her. I shuddered uncontrollably as I watched this unfold before me, desperately shaking my head as I struggled to deny it all. "No, no… I don't want this…" I looked at those men who were looking at me with excitement, as they had already removed their clothes. When I tried to move my thin body and escape from what they were trying to do, the two of them held both of my arms and my legs, trying to stop me from moving, as one of them was already on top of me. One of them sneered as he looked at me with arrogance. "Alpha King has other sex slaves anyway, so there's no harm in us enjoying this bitch first!" Tears broke out of my eyes as I begged them to stop what they were doing. "Stop… no… please don't…" Despite my hoarse voice and I could barely even speak, I pleaded for mercy. I plead that they won't do what they were planning to do. I am saving myself for my future mate. I… I hate this… But what the hell am I supposed to do!

Predikat perawan tua yang disandang oleh Cantika Paramitha (36 tahun) memang membuat orang-orang di sekitarnya mencibir dirinya. Namun, dia sama sekali tidak memedulikan itu hingga sekretaris kepercayaannya resigned karena penyakit gagal ginjal. Arsenio Gunadharma (25 tahun) putera sekretarisnya direkomendasikan untuk menggantikan tugas ayahnya sebagai sekretaris Cantika. Dia lulusan cumlaude dari Oxford University jurusan bisnis internasional. Ganteng, cerdas, dan gentleman. Keberadaan Arsen di kantornya membuat Cantika yang gila kerja menjadi mendadak panas dingin. Ternyata Arsen memiliki ketertarikan dahsyat kepada bosnya. Akankah kode-kode bergairah dari Cantika ditanggapi positif oleh berondong tampan jomblo tersebut? Ketika mereka berdua menikah di tengah isu perbedaan usia, ada rahasia besar yang tersembunyi dari keluarga Arsenio. Dia bukanlah sekretaris biasa yang dianggap remeh oleh keluarga Cantika. Siapa Arsenio sebenarnya? Akankah cinta beda usia itu langgeng hingga mereka sama-sama menua nanti?

TRENDING: Ang panget na si Yolly Peralta, nabuntis ng Campus Heartthrob na si Andy Pagdatu! Miserable ang buhay ni Yolly sa Sanchi College dahil laging tampulan ng tukso ang kanyang kapangitan. Pero dahil sa isang selfie, napalapit siya sa campus heartthrob na si Andy Pagdatu at naging kaibigan pa ito. Naging close pa sila sa close. Pero paano kung isang gabing ay malasing sila? Tapos magbubunga ang isang gabing karupukan ng dalawang linya sa pregnancy test kit at si Andy raw ang ama? Matatanggap kaya ni Andy na nakabuntis siya ng pangit? At ang tanong, totoo nga kaya na buntis si Yolly?

A grim look flashes past Daniel's face as he heard someone knocking on the door. When he finally sees Heather's pretty face so deeply imprinted in his head, his lips curl into a sarcastic smile. "So you've been telling people I'm dead?" Daniel asks.

“Honey, this is Drake, my boyfriend,” mom’s voice snapped me back to reality. “He’ll be your new father.” Like seriously? Will he be my father? I was about to tell my mother off on her acclamation. There’s no way in hell that I’ll allow such a stud to be my father. However, before I could utter the words on my lips, my wolf stirred and jumped with joy and instead of a protest, it screamed ‘Mate' ----- On a mission to find his uncle who killed his elder brother. Drake went to Silvertail to haunt his evil uncle. To keep his identity as the Alpha king, he humbled himself and chose to live with his newly found girlfriend. However, everything changed when her daughter happened to be his long awaited mate.

Mumbai. The city of dreams. Shining bright with impressive skyscrapers, glamorous filmstars, and glittering malls. Standing tall on the shimmering coast of the Arabian Sea. Everywhere Sun hits here, this city dazzles. But beneath this warm dazzle, there is another Mumbai. The cold Mumbai. The dark Mumbai. The stronghold of the mafia. Where narrow alleys are splattered with gun-powder and blood. Where lives are discarded like tissue papers. Where an obscene amount of money circulates unaudited. And since years now, this formidable underworld is under Lala Amarnath Vaghela's thumb. The powerful mafia kingpin who started his ascent from the slums of Dharavi years back, today he controls most of the Indian subcontinent's illegal dealings and organized crime with an iron fist. But not without help. Kunal Ranjan Vaghela. Lalaji's grandson and his heir apparent. Apple of his grandfather's eyes, he is calculative, sly, and cold-blooded. Samar Jagtap. Lalaji's ruthless and cunning protege. Indispensable, he is as unapologetic as they come in this business. Everything is working smoothly in Lalaji's world. Like a well-oiled machine. Or is it? Because apart from sharing Lalaji's trust, apparently these two capable young men also share an undisguised hatred for each other. Not above playing dirty in this high-stakes arena, both are merely bidding their time to tear one another down. But no matter who emerges the winner out of the two, there is someone who will only lose. A torn heart that refuses to take sides. A girl who dared to love them both. Stubborn and loyal-to-a-fault Maahi. Full name Maahi Ranjan Vaghela. Kunal Vaghela's beloved baby sister. And the beautiful confusion of Samar Jagtap's life.

I needed this. I need to let go. She thought as she tried to justify her sexual feelings towards the sexy beast tangled to her body. "Stop me..." Matteo whispered harshly in her ear, but she was moaning to his kisses and was letting him take off her dress as he lay her down to the bed. He groaned when he saw her slender body which strangely aroused him more than those voluptuous stripper bodies that he had grown accustomed to. "Amara, baby..." ***** She's the daughter of one of the most influential families in the world. She grew up as one of the richest trust fund kids, and she lives a very lavish and luxurious lifestyle. But what people didn't know was the truth of her bloodline. She's the love child, of one of the richest men in the world. She was daddy's little princess. All three of her biological brothers, the true heir of her father's wealth hated her. His wife, her fake mom despised her, never acknowledge her existence unless it was for social occasions. ...... This is a story about the richest, deception, love, humor, hate, heartbreak, and all the drama you can fit into a book. Follow me, find out who's the lucky guy who gets to live his ever after with our madame billionaire. And for all of you who has been stalking on our townies... Take a wild guess, who knows, you might be right ....... *Warning! R-Rated for 18+ due to strong, explicit language and sexual content*

They say love is unpredictable and unstoppable, a natural force that many can't escape. Some people don't want it, most people do. Among the least of the people who never wanted anything to do with it is Ted Allen, a mafia king like his father. He feared loved, he dreaded it, but how could he escape something that is meant to be. When his kidnapped niece, a small version of him escaped from her captors, she runs into two ladies with pasts both left unknown to the other. Cookie Carlisle, one of them, hiding in Italy from her father, a blissful little psycho, helped the unknown child back to her home. But when the other's girl's past comes knocking at their door, Cookie is dragged along with her but saved by the single act of kindness she performed. Ted thought he had seen it all until he met his match, the fearless joyful girl that will stop at nothing until he's hers. ~ 'I really doubt you will last long here,' River said. 'Trust me, I won't die yet.' Why? I have a big bad wolf with my name on his head. He hasn't seen the last of me.