funny mom jokes dirty

BANYAK ADEGAN BERBAHAYA, TIDAK UNTUK DITIRU! "Kamu hamil!" ucap Ayden, kekasih Delisha. "A-apa?" tanya Delisha polos. "Kamu hamil!" tegas Ayden lagi. "T-tapi." "Kita sering melakukannya, dan kita main tanpa pengaman." "J-jadi?" "Aku mau putus! Terserah mau diapakan anak itu, umurku masih muda. Aku mau bebas." Ayden meninggalkan Delisha yang mematung, tidak tahu apa yang harus ia lakukan, dan apa yang akan ia hadapi ke depan di saat usianya masih sangat belia 14 tahun.

She is the daughter of an exiled maid. He is the heir of a wealthy leader. She is shunned by her rank. He is praised for it. She's the Omega. He's the future Alpha. Ava Rose and Jace Weston. Two opposites bounded by destiny. On his 20th birthday, Jace Weston reaches the day every Wolf eagerly awaits; today he would finally meet his mate, the one true soul chosen by the Moon Goddess to bond with him for eternity. But what if his true love, his mate isn't entirely what he hoped for?

WARNING: The female lead is not a weak, spineless doormat. She’s bold, funny, slightly fearless and witty as hell. Her husband is an absolute fool and her ex-fiancé is a full fledged red flag who is completely obsessed with her. Thanks for reading!! *** At the age of 18, Amani’s fiancé looked her in the eyes and called her “the trash.” On top of that, he proceeded to call off their engagement because he found a more beautiful and glamorous woman. Heartbroken and shattered, she gets married to Henry Wilson a few years later and he turns out to be an abuser and a cheat. Their son is diagnosed with stage four cancer and while he breathes his last on his deathbed, Henry is busy frolicking around town with his new secretary. Angry beyond measure, she files for divorce. Amani’s plan after divorce is to remain totally man-free for the rest of her life, but that plan turns to dust when the man who shattered her heart at 18 storms back into her life like a violent earthquake. Bhyron Macaulay is his name – New York’s most enigmatic billionaire bachelor, gorgeous as a demon and every woman’s dream man. One thing about him? He hates debtors. And Amani’s late parents owe him the sum of twenty million dollars. Bhyron has only one plan — to make sure Amani becomes his wife whether by consent or by force, and he plans to use that debt as leverage. When dark, haunting secrets about their pasts start to fly and Amani begins to feel a burning attraction for a man she once swore she hates, who will fall first? The heartless billionaire or the woman he once abandoned…?

~Rina Zante Shunned, a half-caste omega and dirt-poor, I have gotten used to the dirty stares people throw my way. And even though I try to ignore the taunts, it’s impossible. Now, my mom has gotten a job as a maid in the alpha’s house. It is a big deal and I should be elated. I was but no longer. How can I when the alpha’s son, devilishly handsome Vincenzo has placed me on his bully list? He desires to bend me to his will. To be a puppet, a mere slave to slake his lust on. Try as I might to run far away from his cold smiles and wandering hands, I can’t. Trapped is what I am. ~Vincenzo Moreno They call me a beautiful bastard. Heartless. Ruthless. Wicked. I am and I'm out for her blood. Despite the fact that she is a nobody, my wolf still craves for her and I will do all I can to make her mine. Because, what I want, I get and I want her. To immerse myself in the innocent wreck that she is. If I should ruin her in the process then, so be it. After all, she is my possession, mia innocente bella.

Olivia Parker, after she was forced on by an unknown man at the hospital where her sick father was just proclaimed dead, finds herself pregnant a month later. Left with no other choice than to keep the pregnancy, she drops out of school at the age of 18. Six years later.. Olivia's son grew up to be the exact replica of her new boss.. Damien Sterling! "Who is his father?!" His voice echoed multiple times into her ears. "I don't have one, talk to my mummy with respect!"

" Please." she croaked out, the pain slowly paralyzing her body. " No! I can't marry you anymore, Sage. You're broken, used, and tainted. How am I supposed to marry you now knowing so many men used you like a fucking public property?" Enrique snapped, glaring at his fiance who was on the hospital bed. " She was raped, Enrique. How can you say this?" Sabrina growled, not believing what he just said. " Not my fault but I can't marry her now. I can't even look at her after knowing how dirty she is. I'm sorry Sage but our story has to come to an end here." Enrique looked at his childhood love, on the bed helplessly drowning in her own tears as he walked out of the room. --- Love lasts all fights but unfortunately, Enrique's love couldn't. He walked out on the very first step leaving Sage to deal with herself. Two years later, he is back in the same town only to marry Sage's sister. Will he regret his decision or will it be too late? Read to find it all out.

My head threw back. I stared at the lamp above us as I carelessly screamed his name. “Stop. Stop.” “Why?” I could feel his blazing gaze on me. “Give me a break.” “Ten seconds.” He went to the fridge and came back with a bowl of somewhat chocolate syrup. I watched him pick up the spoon, scoop the syrup, and pour it onto my br*ast. “God, it’s cold.” I giggled. The moment the sticky syrup rolled down my n*pple, I began panting, biting my lip as it felt delicious. My cl*t began pulsing. “You’re so dirty.” “You are my dirty, dirty wild dreams.” “Clean it off, Gabriel.” “With pleasure.” *** Estelle Bladwyn has a certain type of guy— a little older with a little less demanding job and knows his way in bed. When she bumps into a hot thirty-ish man on her not-so-romantic-getaway on an island, he does check two on her checklist, and exactly what she wants for that moment. One thing that doesn’t set right— their growing attraction is overwhelming, and her life is already complicated. But who can deny someone like Linden, who held you captive with his eyes, caged you in his arms, and still promised you a good time? Gabe Linden is getting old and still single and done with hookups and doing favors. When some big guns like Moses Braddson, a man he looks up to, he just can’t say no to. The only problem is he hasn’t taken the job yet— he knows he’s already failing it. Looking into her celadon blue eyes, he sees right into her soul. There’s no way he’s letting her go, even by means of breaking his number one rule— The beautiful billionaire is his to keep.

WARNING: R-18 l MATURE CONTENT l SPG l VERY SEXUAL l READ RESPONSIBLY It's funny how someone breaks your heart but you still love them with all you have... Bullied and criticized for being plus size girl, but who cares? Food is life. Myra Gwy Valderamos is the unbothered queen. The only thing that matter to her is food. Loved and treasured by her parents. Supported in all her dreams. Calyx Zachary Villegas stuck in the past and the mystery behind it. Broken at a very young age when both parents died in an accident. They met, fell in love and planned a future together but a buried memory of the past resurfaced. He left her shattered and broken into pieces. How far you would you go for your love? Is his love enough to have her back?

Cia pikir hidup akan semanis kue yang dibuatnya. Namun, ternyata hidup tak semanis itu. Dia tidak pernah menyangka jika semua rencananya untuk segera pulang ke Indonesia dan membangun usaha, harus berantakan. Tangisnya pecah ketika mendapati dua garis merah di alat tes kehamilan. Pulang dengan keadaan hamil, tidak masuk dalam daftar rencananya. Namun, kini tidak ada yang bisa dilakukakannya, karena benih itu sudah hadir di rahimnya. “Jika Cia hamil, biarkan aku yang bertanggung jawab.” Noah menawarkan dirinya untuk menjadi daddy dari anak yang dikandung Cia. “Terima kasih, tetapi tidak perlu bertanggung jawab untuk sesuatu yang bukan kesalahanmu. Aku akan bertanggung jawab sendiri atas kesalahanku. Aku akan menjaga dan merawat anakku sendiri, hingga dia merasa jika ibunya begitu sempurna.” Cia dengan tegas menolak. Tapi, hidup terkadang tak sesuai dengan rencana kita. Karena Tuhan maha membolak-balikkan. Akankah Cia dapat menjalani semua sesuai dengan rencananya? Untuk jadwal up, kunjungi Instagram Myafa 16

Tradisyon na ng pamilyang Harrington na ibibigay lang ang sarili sa araw mismo ng kasal, dahil sumisimbolo ito ng kalinisan at swerte sa negosyo nila. Ikakasal na sana si Marigold kay Estefan, but she found out he cheated on her with her best friend, Bella. Ang dahilan? Sex. Hindi na raw kasi matiis ni Estefan na hintayin pa ang kasal. Di matanggap ni Marigold ang nangyari. Nagpunta siya sa bar, uminom hanggang sa di lang puso ang nawasak kundi ang pagkababae niya. She had a one night stand with a man she didn't know. Ang masaklap pa ay nabuntis siya nito. She kept her pregnancy for four months. But her father disowned her after knowing the truth, giving her a one-million pesos to leave the mansion. After six years, she decided to apply to a newly opened hotel as a concierge. Nalaman niya na lang ang married status niya no’ng kumuha siya ng cenomar— requirement for a single mom assistance ng bagong kompanyang pinasok niya. Bigla na lang niya naalala that she signed a marriage contract that night.  Ang hindi niya alam na kinasal pala siya sa isang bilyonaryo!