funny mom jokes dirty

My younger son, who is seven, is bitten by a snake. I take him to my elder son's hospital to be treated. To my surprise, my elder son's girlfriend thinks I'm his mistress. Not only does she stop the medical personnel from treating my younger son, but she even slaps me. "My boyfriend and I are a perfect match. How dare you bring your illegitimate son here to challenge me!" She pins me to the floor as she pummels and harms me. She even screeches, "A slut like you will only stop going around seducing others once you're incapable of it!" I'm bruised, battered, and bleeding as I'm wheeled into the emergency room. My elder son handles the operation. His hand trembles as he clutches his scalpel, and he looks ashen. "Who did this to you, Mom?"

"HHHEEYYY YALL IT'S YOUR FAVORITE GIRLS! We are back yall. We were pissed too, that we had to leave yall with that cliffhanger. But best believe somebody got a call about that . Anyway, we're back and on the Hunt for Shawna and Trixie. We know they're still out there alive, we just have to find them. But you already know that we have to deal with fake mated she-wolves, who just can't read the room. So, we have to deal with them hoes, aliens, and oh yea The Ocean God. I know yall thinking how the hell yall pissed off the Ocean God, but we will explain that later. Right now, buckle up, get your wine glasses, and make sure your phone cases are sturdy just in case you throw it. Now enjoy the emotional rollercoaster of The Hunt for Shawna and Trixie!

Devin King was my first—well, everything. They say you never forget your first. Whoever said that was right because no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t get him out of my head or my heart. I foolishly thought my heart wouldn’t miss what it couldn’t see, but I was wrong because I never forgot, not for one moment. You’re not supposed to kiss your best friend. You’re not supposed to give your virginities to one another, either—but we did. We were kids, teenagers, full of hormones and mixed emotions, but it felt right. He was the first boy to kiss me, the first boy to touch me and taste me in a way only a lover would. “Say you want to be mine….” He whispered while I shook in his arms. And I did. And then he wrecked me. After I trusted him and gave myself to him, he disappeared, left me in my , the scent of him still lingering on my skin, the taste of his kiss still fresh on my lips. He left me after the amazing night we shared after we became one another’s and disappeared without a word. Until one day ten years later he pops up like a rash as the newly appointed CEO of our firm. Was I shocked to see him standing in the office after a decade? Yes. Did I almost faint? Hell yes. My heart may have melted a little when he smiled right at me, but he wouldn’t ever know that—because I hated him. But here I am, the VP of an established publication firm standing in the CEO’s office handcuffed to the pompous face. Why are we handcuffed you ask? Well, that's a funny story...

Cayden Holstin is the third son of Alpha Liam and Luna Angel. In a family of seven, he’s the only one who hasn’t found his mate besides his underage sister. His oldest brother became the pack’s Alpha, his second oldest brother is their company’s CEO, and Cayd is currently in school to become the CFO. The human university was not exciting and fun like he was hoping, finding it difficult to hide who he is and bored with the females who only wanted casual relationships. Cayden is past ready to find his mate and settle down. Madelyn Cole is a human who was abruptly introduced to the werewolf world when she started dating a man she thought was human. It didn’t take long for him to bring her to his ‘pack’ and then refuse to let her leave. His aggressive, violent ways terrify her, and she tried to leave, but he refused to let her go. One night, in the middle of big party, Madelyn finds her opening and escapes, running as fast as she can When Cayd and the other Guardians realize that humans are being taken into werewolf packs as slaves and omegas against their will, they will have to make a stand, to fight as they always do for those who cannot fight for themselves. Cayd doesn’t care that his mate is a human. He trusts the Moon Goddess to give him the mate that is meant to be his. But Madelyn doesn’t want to live around the violent werewolves. She just wants to be left alone. Can Cayd convince her that he’s not like other wolves while keeping her safe from the one who is hunting her?

Charlotte never imagined that her supposed best day of life would become the worst nightmare when she was about to tell her husband, Sebestian Blackwood about her pregnancy. She caught him with his rumored mistress and best friend in an intimate position. Her wounded heart and hopes shattered into million pieces but she didn’t expect him to throw divorce papers on her face when she thought they could be together again. He accused her of cheating and demanded a divorce. Wasn’t he the one who was cheating behind her back? “Sign these papers and get the hell out of my life for heaven’s sake. I was a fool to fall in love with a woman like you, Charlotte.” He spoke with so much venom. Her heart squeezed seeing pure hatred in his eyes which used to be filled with immense love. “Is it a joke, right?” She asked him and hoped this nightmare would be over. “You made a joke of my reputation, Charlotte. Now save our time and free us from this web of deception you call a marriage.” He broke her hopes again with his harsh words and handed her the divorce papers.

"Your husband is so wild in bed!" On the eve of my childbirth, I received a provocative video from my husband's mistress, flaunting their affair.In the video, my supposedly loyal husband, Max Jennings, and his mistress were entangled in a hotel bed, exchanging dirty talk and engaging in various sexual positions.The shock of it all triggered premature labor, resulting in a stillbirth that left me utterly devastated.Max, consumed by guilt, fell to his knees before me, tears streaming down his face. Desperately, he begged for my forgiveness. Little did he know, I had already uncovered all his schemes - the secret transfer of his assets, the signing of substantial life insurance policies, and the true cause of our baby's tragic demise.I clung to him, sobbing uncontrollably, like a typical housewife shattered by her husband's betrayal.But in the depths of my heart, a grim thought emerged: "Max, since you won't agree to a divorce, it seems that becoming a widow is my only way out."During this tumultuous period in my life, I met Luke Walker.The people in our town describe Luke as an angel who has fallen to Earth—an honorable and composed beacon of light. Yet, somehow, he took an interest in me—a woman scorned and deemed hopeless after a failed second marriage.No one understands the truth. It was Luke who relentlessly pursued me, drawing me deeper into a complex relationship!

A collection of two sports romances. The Quarterback's BabyWhat happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas which would be great, if I wasn’t carrying the Quarterback’s baby!The Running Back's BabyI loved playing dirty on the field and in the bedroom.

Bening yang kabur dari pertunangan dengan pria yang dicintai sang saudara kembar, tanpa sengaja bertemu dengan pria yang usianya jauh lebih muda darinya di sebuah club malam. Berpikir jika hanya kabur, orangtuanya pasti akan kembali memaksanya menikah. Bening pun menjebak pria muda itu dan mengaku hamil setelah mereka bermalam bersama. Ia semakin berani memanfaatkan kenaifan pria berumur 19 tahun bernama Glassio itu karena Glass ternyata berasal dari keluarga biasa. “Aku akan membiayai kuliahmu, pernikahan kakakmu dan pengobatan ibumu, tidak perlu berpikir macam-macam asal kamu mau menikah denganku,” ucap Bening, ada setiap penekanan di setiap kata yang dia ucapkan. “Apa setelah anak itu lahir kita akan bercerai?” tanya Glass Sampai kapan Bening bisa menyembunyikan kebohongannya? Mungkinkah dia akan rela berpisah dengan pria muda berhati hangat yang ternyata serius ingin bertanggungjawab menghidupi dirinya dan calon anak yang sama sekali tidak ada? Belum lagi Fakta lain yang terungkap, Glass ternyata bukan pria biasa. “Namamu seperti pangeran tapi nasibmu seperti pengawal.”

Lucille is beautiful, smart, kind, and rich. Unfortunately, she is also brokenhearted. Having her heart and whole life shattered to pieces, she vows never to fall in love again. But when love knocks on her door once more, in the form of two drop dead, panty-melting gorgeous men, Lucille decides that this time, she will be the ultimate playgirl. Japer, a playboy, finds it astonishing when a girl did not swoon at the sight of him. More so when she told him she only wants to be friends or if he wants, friends with benefits. What happens when the playboy falls in love and is now the one being played? Boo is a super powerful tycoon. He's rich beyond limits but despite all his power, like his name, he feels like a hollow lifeless ghost. A girl changes all this when she makes him see how fun life can be, especially because he has all the money in the world. But can money buy him her love?

“What did you say, little wolf?” he asked. “Repeat.” I swallowed saliva down my dry throat. “I don’t belong to you,” I repeated, staring into his amber eyes. The next moment he pounced on me with predator's intensity. He pinned my wrists in one hand and forced them above my head. Pressing my body with his heavy one, he growled, “You belong to me, little wolf. Remember that. I am going to hunt you from the depths of hell if you try to run or hide.” He captured my lips in a sizzling kiss as he grounded his rock-hard erection on me. ---- After a perfect night with Violet, Dane rejects her, to marry Emily who is known to him from childhood and is the perfect choice. Feeling insulted and dejected, Violet runs away. However, Dane can't stop thinking about Violet and crazily hunts for her. At his pre-wedding party, he sees Violet with someone else. Jealousy rips his heart and this time he won't let her go, even if that means he has to break the rules. Violet resists him, because she has something precious to hide. What happens when Dane sees a pup who is his carbon copy? And he calls Violet, ‘Mom’. Will Violet accept his rejection finally? Or will she come back to him? Will Dane be able to seduce her back in his own, dark and twisted way? Or will he be forced to go back to Emily? Let the chase begin!