funny mom jokes dirty

Stepbrother's Behaving Badly is a collection of stories based on forbidden, taboo relationships.StepSEALsI’ve been writing to my stepbrothers, Dean and Vale while they've been deployed away. I just hope that they come home into my loving arms. StepNannyI’m in love with Clark Wells; I have been ever since my mom married his dad. That was five years ago. Now I’m eighteen and still have a big crush on the billionaire.Stepbrotherly LoveI didn’t just want him for one night or maybe two. I wanted more as I found myself lost in my stepbrother’s love.Baking HotNot only was the cake going to be perfect, but my dreams were going to be burned…as I got hot and bothered with Zach, my future soon turned to smoke.

“I, Madeline Clark, rejec…,” I started speaking, but Alpha Dimitri stopped me by putting his hand over my mouth.He pulled me closer to him and growled.“What the hell are you doing?!” he shouted. “I am not letting you do this, Maddie. I’ve waited for you for months and I am not going to lose you!”His eyes held so much pain and his voice was laced with panic.“You are mine, Maddie,” he said as he leaned in and pressed a small kiss on my forehead. “You are mine, and I am not letting you go.”Madeline is a 17-year-old girl who still hasn’t shifted into her wolf. Her father abandoned her mother when she was very young. She’s been bullied and laughed at all the time. After she lost her mom, the person who loved her the most, Madeline is completely distraught and broken. Her father comes back to take her back to his pack. Madeline is against it, but her financial situation forces her to go with him.Dimitri is a Lycan wolf, the Alpha of his very successful pack. He is 22 years old, and he still hasn’t found his mate. When Madeline comes to his pack, he is very surprised to find out that she is his mate. He is also very frustrated because she is his stepsister who still hasn’t shifted. She can’t recognize him as her mate.Madeline struggles in the new pack. She doesn’t have the best relationship with her stepmother. She can’t wait to turn 18 and leave.What will happen when Madeline finds out who her mate is? What will Dimitri do after she rejects him? Will he be able to convince her to stay?

((A/N)) If you haven't read "Lycan King" you should definitely read it for a better understanding of "Lycan Blood." or you can just read this book and go back and read "Lycan King" your choice.****************I follow closely behind Lucious through the dark forest, looking at his tensed back. "I was only helping. I know you're angry Lucious, but you can't go around doing whatever you want anymore. My father has laws in place for these types of things." If Lucious would've wiped that pack out, he would've had to answer to father for his crimes.Lucious turn around glaring at me. "Don't tell me what I can and cannot do! I don't give a fuck about your father nor his laws! He's not my fucking king!" He spits the words at me, before turning walking away.I let out a sigh, looking at his back as he disappears through the thick trees of the forest. He may not accept father as his king, but that doesn't mean father won't punish him for the laws he breaks.************************************** After all the killing and fighting, Lisa just wants for things to go back to the way they once were, but the peacefulness of her old life back in the human world is long gone. Lisa is now shoved into the world that she was always meant to be a part of. She's no longer in the human world, living by the human ways and laws. Here its killed or be killed. While Lisa fight for her respect amongst the wolves, Lucious is planning to get revenge for the death of his father and friends.

Debby Alessandro received a sudden text from her fiancee that he had anulled their engagement. Terribly heartbroken, she ran to her bestfriend's house to cry out her sorrow but she unexpectedly saw her fiancee and her bestfriend having s*x. She felt like her heart was being butchured by an heartless murderer. Having no where else to run to, she landed in a club where she angrily and recklessly drank herself to stupor. She unexpectedly woke up naked beside a strange man. She immediately parked her stuff and left the country. She came back five years later with her handsome boy. She didn't expect for her son to get her in trouble by deflating one of the tires of a Mercedes-Maybach. How will she deal with the fact that the owner of the Mercedes-Maybach was not only her CEO but that he also has a striking resemblance with her son?

Ikakasal na lang ang bachelorette na si Alina Lovia, pero sa hindi inaasahang pangyayari ay bigla siyang napunta sa tapat ng isang lumang apartment habang nakasuot pa rin ng wedding gown. Laking-gulat niya nang tumagos siya sa dingding ng apartment na ‘yon at doon niya nakita ang isang lalaking hubu’t hubad habang nilalaro ang sarili nitong ari. Doon niya napagtanto na para bang isa na lamang siyang kaluluwa. Hindi niya alam kung paano siya namatay o kung may pumatay ba sa kaniya. Habang kaluluwa na lang siya, doon niya nalaman kung sino sa pamilya niya ang kakampi, kaaway at kung sino ang nagmamahal sa kaniya. Habang tumatagal din na palagi siyang nakabuntot kay Corvus Ferrara at napapanuod niya ang ginawa nito habang nakahubu’t hubad ay tila ba natatakam na siya sa rito. Naging pangarap niyang mabuhay ulit para kay Corvus. Naging pangarap niya na matikman ito. Ano ang magiging koneksyon ni Corvus Ferrara sa kaniya? Bakit siya lang ang nakarinig at nakikita sa kaniya? Ito ba ang makakatulong sa kaniya para malaman kung ano ang nangyari sa kaniya at kung sino ang pumatay sa kaniya? Pero ang magandang tanong, tutulungan kaya siya ni Corvus?

"I'm about to in your smart little mouth and you're going to swallow all of it. Do you understand?" He didn't let me answer, holding my head in place as his filled my mouth. He waited until I had swallowed every drop before he released me and I fell to the bed, sobbing. Zipping himself up, he stalked to the door, then paused and turned to smirk at me. "Don't even bother to tell anyone about this. Or you and your mother will suffer. And get ready, because this is just the beginning." *** Jasmine Scott is an omega, a nobody. Born in the slums and living with her struggling, single mom, she is an outcast at her school. Until her mom gets married to the alpha. Relieved that her status has been elevated, Jasmine is glad to be part of the alpha’s family except that Hardin Scott, the alpha’s gorgeous son is out to torment her. Hardin hates Jasmine. She might be his step-sister but she is no blood of his. He knows she is a gold-digger out to get his father’s money and for that she must be punished. But what happens when he starts lusting after his step-sister? Hardin craves for a taste of his step-sister's body and he won’t stop until his sensual mark is branded on her skin.

Sylvain Wilde had been searching for his mate from the moment he shifted. All he wanted was to find his other half and live his happily ever after. Except, he didn't realize that his mate would be of a completely different species from him and that she would be an enemy he'd be willing to give his life for! _____________________________________________ Book 5 of the Mate Series! You have to read Books 1 - 4 to understand this one! Books listed inside!

Everyone wants to be me. Who wouldn't? I've got the looks, sexy body, money and Andrew Maru Ottave, my husband. Pero kung malalaman lang siguro nila kung sino at ano talaga ang nangyayari sa buhay ko, hindi ko alam kung gugustuhin pa nilang maging ako. Simula pagkabata ay alam ko na ang aking magiging kapalaran. Wala akong karapatan na mamili kung sino ang gusto kong makasama habambuhay. Dahil sa huli ang mga magulang ko pa rin ang magdedesisyon kung sino ang aking mapapangasawa. It's not a new thing with the elite. My parents are also a product of an arranged marriage. They marry for business and had a child for business. And just like my mom, I will also be a Business Wife.

After a very public break-up between the university's 'it' couple, all eyes are on the heartbroken Quarterback, Caleb Briggs. His life had been laid out in front of him for as long as he can remember. After one drunken night with a dream girl, he wakes up alone and is determined to find her. Little does he know, she doesn't want to be found. The last thing that Violet wants is to draw in extra attention. It's bad enough that she's the football coach's daughter, but to be dragged down in the gossip mill as The Rebound? Not on her life. When she breaks her father's one rule to keep away from his team and sleeps with the school's quarterback, she is prepared for the consequences. That doesn't mean that she isn't planning on running from them for as long as possible.

Seth Allen had never had any luck with women when it comes to love and marriage. Soon, he became tired of his lonely life and decided to get a surrogate mother to carry his child. All of Isabella's life, she never had any luck with men. All they always seem to want from her was just sex. Already tired of the disappointments, she decided that she was going for an insemination using an unknown sperm donor. The hospital made a mistake and Isabella carried the child of Seth. Neither of them was ready to let go of the baby. All they were left with was to live together so that they could decide how to solve the mess. Would they be able to get past their experience and shed their insecurities for the sake of their future?