funny mom jokes dirty

Cadence has worked very hard to be at the top of her class, and the lead investigative reporter for her college newspaper. All she wants is to be a successful she-wolf who stands on her own and prove that not all females are meant to be pregnant and barefoot in the kitchen. She makes her own decisions, lives by her own rules. That is, until her final assignment before graduation sends her into the lion’s den. The local pack to her college is Moon Bay, and home to Alpha Keller, whose sons are popular football players and playboys. How will Cade’s strong will and determined attitude hold up against two identical twins who are future Alphas? Turns out the goddess was indeed playing at something with this match! The twins struggle to win over their mate, who more than makes them work for it! In this battle of the sexes only one can come out on top! Follow along with their story in Taunting the Twin Alphas!

Blaire Summers doesn't do serious, but she soon finds herself in a very serious situation. One that will deem her homeless if she doesn't find a job that actually pays. When she lands an interview at ALPHA INC, she expects the boot after she notices the line in tow for the job. She couldn't be more wrong. Luther Reed is more than just the CEO, he's ALPHA of the Legend Pack. He's ruthless, cunning, and never found his mate, which doesn't bother him in the least. Not having a mate means he doesn't have a weakness. Until Blaire stumbles into his office for an interview, and he knows instantly she's his mate. The kicker is that she's human, and has no idea werewolves exist. It's easy to turn to the next interviewee, and forget her. Until he sees Axel Hanes, the dirty Lycan tycoon, talking to her outside of his office window. That forces the hair on his neck to stand, and he hires Blaire, which causes a downward spiral of events that break Luther's guard, and forces him into situations that will cost him his position, and a war with the Lycans he didn't see coming.

Mark Ivan Barcelon and Eizel Francine Story (Hello, sa nakabasa na po ng Book 1 ng MY STALKER, eto na po ang kwento ni Eizel at Ivan, Bestfriend at kambal ni Kisha. Enjoy Reading!) Si Eizel ay may lihim na pag-ibig kay Ivan, ang kambal ng kanyang matalik na kaibigan. Ang magmahal niya dito ay hindi madali, pero para kay Eizel, walang mahirap pagdating sa pag-ibig. Mula pagkabata, may pagtingin na siya kay Ivan, at habang tumatagal, lalong lumalalim ang nararamdaman niya. Natatakot siyang umamin dahil baka layuan siya nito at hindi na pansinin. O mas takot siyang masaktan sa magiging sagot nito. Kaya't nakukuntento na lang siya sa pagtingin mula sa malayo at pag-silay. Matapang siyang babae, pero pagdating sa nararamdaman niya kay Ivan, wala siyang lakas ng loob na umamin. Pero dahil sa suporta ng kanyang kaibigan sa kabaliwan niya, nakapag-isip siya ng paraan kung paano unti-unting makuha ang atensyon nito. Tinext niya ito at nagpakilala sa ibang pangalan. Hindi siya sumuko kahit napaka-ilap nito sa text at chat. Hindi naman nasayang ang effort na ginawa niya. Napansin din siya nito. Pero paano kung nakuha na niya ang atensyon na matagal na niyang inaasam? At hiniling nito na magpakilala na siya at magpakita? Kaya ba niyang sundin ang hiling nito? Handa na ba siyang harapin ang lalaking mahal niya? Tatanggapin kaya siya nito kapag nalaman na siya si Eizel Francine Evangelista, ang bestfriend ng kambal niya, ang babaeng nasa likod ng lahat? ************************

"You shouldn't be wearing your sister's clothes. You look like her now, but you're not her." His cold fingers lifted my chin, forcing my eyes to meet his. "You know, I promised your sister I would never love another woman." "I always know that," I whispered, trying to keep my voice steady despite the tears threatening to spill over. "I don't want to come between you and her memory." "Then tell me why you're trying to pretend to be your sister by wearing your sister’s clothes." "I'm sorry, I didn't want to do it, my mom forced me to wear this dress." I tried to explain, "Please believe me." "How could you expect me to believe someone who tried to seduce me at your sister's funeral." The pressure from Alexander made me breathless. "No. No. I never thought of doing this. It was a misunderstanding." I shook my head desperately and argued for myself. "You're not worthy of wearing this dress." Alexander turned to leave. His words stung my heart so hard that I felt tons of pain crushing me. ---------------- Olivia was disliked by her family for unknown reasons, she was forced to marry her brother-in-law Alexander who is also the Alpha King of the country after her sister died at childbirth. Her cruel Alpha husband never treated her well and she ran away while pregnant. Later she finds that she is the princess of the neighbouring kingdom and when they meet again, can Alexander recognize the woman with a mask in front of him and get her rid of another man’s arms who is the husband of Olivia now.

Isabella Martinez's father died when she was eighteen years old. She had been separated from her mother at an early age and had no knowledge of the business her mother was involved in with her new husband. After her father's death, she is pushed into her mother's world, where she meets her husband and her husband's son, Alex. Alex is unlike any male she has ever encountered; he is cruel and demanding. He's harsh and intimidating. Alex was known to instill dread in individuals merely by glancing at them. Isabella is unaware that he is the world's most dreaded Mafia Don. Alex claims Isabella is his own the instant his eyes meet hers. Her stepbrother is a womanizer who astonished everyone when he claimed Isabella. Isabella is terrified and despairing; will she learn to accept her stepbrother into her heart? She shouted out, "Y-You can't do that." ❝You are my brother.❞ He chuckled at her as his fingers gripped her tiny lace underwear. ❝I am not your brother, neonata.❞ His lips were on her neck, nibbling her skin and moving down to her breast. ❝ Why are you doing this? She asked, biting her lip as his tongue touched her bud. ❝ Because you are mine.

(Sequel of My Hockey Alpha. It can be read alone) Celeste run into her brother's best friend, who is now a hoceky team leader, at a party. He cornered her in the toilet. "Behavior yourself." Celeste warned him "Be a good girl if you don't want to be heard. " He smirked. …… Then Celeste escapes and he hasn't found out who she really is. It's her dirty secret ...... How long can she hide it?

"I'm glad you're not my past, but I want you to be my present. And only you in the future until it last Zafy." Zafira Mejia is a run away seniorita of Rancho Mejia at ang nag-iisang anak nina Don at Donya Mejia. She was born with a golden spoon, at ultimo pagsalin ng tubig ay may gumagawa para sa kaniya. Nagbago ang lahat ng lumayas siya upang takasan ang sinasabi niyang "matandang hukluban na amoy lupa." Na dapat sana'y ipakakasal sa kaniya, na kahit sa panaginip ay hindi niya man lang kayang ilarawan ang mukha. Hanggang sa natagpuan niya na lang ang siriling nag aapply bilang isang kasambahay sa mansion ng napakagwapo ngunit ubod ng sungit na si Justine Cortes. Ang lalaking ni pagngiti ay hindi magawa. At halos isumpa ang lahat ng kaniyang ginagawa. Kaya kayang tumagal ng isang hacienderang seniorita ang maging yaya ng amoy baby at gwapo pero nuknukan ng sungit niyang alaga?

"Make sure you wipe the counter," I remind him while wearing my panties. "With my tongue?" "Sure, if you wipe again with disinfectant after that." "Awww my little girl all grown up, using the word disinfectant and all. Bet you're getting deflowered any day now!" I smack his head while he laughs, thinking it's funny to keep on teasing me since last week. "I hope his willy isn't as big as mine," okay what now, "so he won't hurt your flower." I wanted to be mad at him, I do, but I laugh instead, stupid Toffer and his little boy talk. *** 30 year old Nina is confused with her hopeless love life. While her best friend pleasures women in the next room, she remains in her space keeping her virginity in-tact, wondering if she’s meant to be with her first love or she needs to move on to find her true soulmate. It takes my first love to end my dating strike. But will it take my first love to end my virginity?

Christopher Hudson, eldest son and CEO of The Hudson Group, has his eye on four hundred and seventy acres of land in Bethel, Vermont. He wants to purchase the land and build a luxury resort. It is his vision that the resort will be the corner stone of The Hudson Group for years to come. The problem is the land will cost him more than he wants to pay. Selena Fitz and her friends are The Fantasy Fiction Writing Club. After a typical day at work, she relaxes with her club buddies with a glass of wine and her laptop at the ready. That’s when she discovers that she switched the club’s flash drive with the flash drive she gave her boss. The stories on the flash drive detailed all the dirty things the club members wanted to do to Christopher Hudson and his brothers. Desperate to get the drive back, the club members break into the Hudson Mansion. Instead of retrieving the flash drive, Selena is presented with an opportunity of a lifetime all because she owns a piece of land that her family has handed down from generation to generation.

Kahapon lang ay single pa siya. Ngunit ngayong araw na ito, magiging Mrs. Catherine Villanueva na siya. Pakiramdam niya ay nabudol-budol siya ng Daddy niya. Paano siya nitong napapayag makasal sa isang lalaking ni hindi man lang niya minahal. Bakit nga ba siya pumayag sa gustong mangyari ng Daddy niya porke’t iniyakan lang siya nito? Ngunit ang mas lalong nakakasindak, ipapakasal siya nito sa isang lalaking lantaran namang umamin sa kanya na isa itong member ng LGBTQIA community. Feeling tuloy niya, um-order lang ng mapapangasawa niya online ang Daddy niya, may defect pa. May defect dahil lalaki rin ang hilig nito at hindi babae. At no return, no exchange na pala ang kasunduang ito dahil legit ang marriage contract nilang dalawa. Hindi ito isang panaginip lang. Ngunit naisip niyang dahil lalaki rin ang type ng asawa niya, at least ay safe siya kasama nito. Malaya siyang makakapagbihis sa harapan nito at alam niyang kahit anong gawin niya, wala talagang mangyayari sa kanilang dalawa. Pero kung bakla ito bakit may girlfriend ito? At bakit, unti-unti, parang nakakaramdam na siya ng selos sa tuwing makikita niya ito kasama ng girlfriend nito? Hanggang isang araw ay makita niya ang asawa, not just one but two. Namamalikmata lang ba siya or sadyang may kakambal ito? Isang member ng LGBTQIA community na si Anthony. At isang lalaking-lalaki na si Andy. Pero kanino sa dalawang ito ba siya talaga ikinasal?