funny mom jokes dirty

A retelling of several of the most famous fairy tales with a kinky, dirty twist. Each story is about 30,000 words so sit back, grab some holy water and relax! It's time to sink in 10 deliciously dark and twisted fairytales! Highly erotic and brimming with dark desires, don't say I didn't warn ya! 18+ Dark Fairytale Series Rumpled (Retelling of Rumplestiltskin) Sinderella (Retelling of Cinderella) Allissa in Wankerland (Retelling of Alice In Wonderland) Friends With Sexy Benefits (Retelling of Hansel and Gretel) Snow White and the Seven Hunks (Retelling of Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs) Red (Retelling of Little Red Riding Hood) Tangled (Retelling of Rapunzel) Bella and the Beast (Beauty and The Beast) Maid For Pleasure (The Ugly Duckling) Goldilocks and the 3 Were-bears (Goldilocks)

Vivian Kane is a ghost in the digital underworld, slipping into Alessandro Costello’s world like she’s always been there. She lifts his wallet with a swipe of her fingers, and just like that, she’s not only hacked his systems—she’s hacked his life. Alessandro Costello doesn’t do forgiveness. She’s made it personal, and now he’s out for blood. He’s ready to turn her life into a living nightmare, using every dirty trick he knows to make her regret ever crossing him. What starts as a simple theft quickly spirals into something far darker. They’re trapped in a high-stakes game of cat and mouse, where every touch and taunt turns up the heat until it’s a steamy, no-holds-barred battle of lust and dirty games. In this twisted mind-fuck, trust is a luxury neither can afford.

Sext Buddy: [I’d do anything to fuck you right now.] Alicia: [I want you so bad too…really.] During the summer, Alicia has been sexting with a total stranger in hopes that she’d never meet him. At the beginning of college, her mum tells her that they have a guest. She meets the stranger she was constantly sexting. But then, what happens when the stranger is her cousin?

WARNING: This book unapologetically contains very dark, raw, and mature content. It is not advisable for underage readers. If you're not into reading erotica, do not open this book. But if you dare, prepare to be captivated by a world of intense desire and forbidden love. For Pleasure Only is a compilation of dirty, erotic romance story you can only imagine and find in books. This book is capable of opening and ushering you into an erotica world you have no idea about. This compilation of erotic romance stories will keep you on the edge of your seat, offering a tantalizing escape into a world where passion knows no bounds and desires are unapologetically fulfilled.

"You look good," I said to Chloe at humakbang ako palapit sa kaniya. Kunot ang noo niya na nakatingin lang sa akin. "Kahit balot na balot ka, my body is still reacting." I grabbed her hand na natatakpan ng kumot at pinakapa ko sa kaniya ang nabuhay ko na naman na pagkalalaki. I saw how her eyes grew bigger again and I winked at her. "Nice meeting you, Chloe." ****** Trace a.k.a The Orgy King. The Panty Ripper. His sworn brother called him funny names but he knows what he is. A spawn by Satan. Ipinanganak para pasakitin ang ulo ng amang labis niyang kinamumuhian. He fuck around like a rabbit. Party here and there. But his fave sport will always involve dark and bad. A walking sin. Trace will soon realize that karma really is a bitch. Organization. Friendship. Brotherhood. Trace Dimagiba might be the most hateful man in Foedus Organization but he'll soon realize that even the devil himself deserves redemption. In the form of the feisty and beautiful woman who sauntered into his life– Chloe. His light and his end game. ****** This is a story that is close to real mafia life. If you are a sucker for romance and a simple plot, better not read this!!!

Hindi type ni Bernard ang mga babaeng masyadong bata sa kanya. Dahil ang pakiramdam niya ay magiging baby sitter lang siya ng mga ito kapag inaatake ng tantrums. Ngunit may isang babaeng gumulo sa kanya, si Marie, secretary ng dati niyang nililigawan na naging asawa ng kaibigan niya. Naiinis siya dito dahil mapang asar ito, hanggang isang gabi, bigla na lang niyang narealize na pwede pala niya itong magustuhan. At kabaliktaran ng pagkakakilala niya sa babaeng mas bata ang ugali nito, matured at maunawain ang dalaga. Kahit siya ang may kasalanan ay nagsosorry ito. Bigpang dumating ang kangyang first love, si Eleanor o mas kulala sa tawag na Ellue, akala niya, masisira ang telasyon nila dahil dito, ngunit si Marie ay siya lang ang pinapaniwalaan. Kaya naging maayos pa rin ang takbo ng relasyon nila, until makilala niya si Domeng, kahit noon lang niya nakilala ang kaibigan nito, sinakmal siya ng matinding selos, lalo pa at may mga ipinakitang pruweba sa kanya si Ellie na niloloko siya ni Marie. Lalo siyang nagalit sa babae. Ng matauhan siya sa mga nangyari, at nalaman niya ang totoo, parang huli na ang lahat. Kulang na lang isumpa siya ni Marie sa sobrang galit. Ayaw na siyang balikan ng babae. May pag asa pa kaya na mahalin siya ulit ng dalaga? Paano niya mapapatunayan ang pagmamahal dito kung pati mga kaibigan niya ayaw ng makialam sa kanila?

Shane is my best kept secret. The more time that passes the tighter my hold on him gets. If my father thinks he can take my right to find my mate from me and sell me off to the highest bitter than he's got another thing coming. I'll take what I want and give the only thing he thinks I have of value to whoever I choose. And who do I choose? I choose Shane. Adea is the air I breathe. I won't let anyone come between us and I won't let the Moon Goddess try and decide who she gets to be with. Whether it be her father or destiny, no one will get in my way. Fate? Mate? These words mean nothing to me. No one wants us together, but the jokes on them, I'll decide my own destiny. Adea Biscoff is that destiny. In a new life where the curse has been broken, can everything unfold how it was supposed to? Will the star-crossed lovers finally have their chance? What happens when Shane remembers everything, but refuses to make the same mistake again? The tables have been turned and Shane realizes who the real villain has been all along. What if in this life, Shane demands she be the one to pay? ! Sexual and physical abuse may be triggering for survivors !

To say that it was a love is an understatement, Tess White was obsessed with the one who hates her guts, and was completely in love with the idea of falling in love with Callum Anderson ever since she was young. However,Callum had a highschool sweetheart and life was at bliss for him until his world collided with Tessa and the next thing he knew, he was married to the girl he hated the most.

“I want a divorce!” Angela said, staring at her young and handsome husband with her head high. “You had the nerve to tell me that? Fine! Who wants to stay married to an ugly and stupid woman?” Sky Mars scoffed, looking at her from head to toe. “How much do you want from me?” He asked, thinking she only married him for his money. “I don’t need your money, Sky. Only that,” Angela pointed at the beautiful handmade quilt on the bed. “Not only you’re ugly and stupid, but you’re also crazy. Take this, sign the divorce papers, and don’t ever come back,” He took the blue peacock design comforter on the bed, throwing it at her. She picked up the quilt that landed on the floor and turned her back on him, hugging the soft fabric as she walked toward the door. She did not bother correcting him that she is not ugly and stupid, but crazy? Maybe. She was probably insane falling in love with Sky, that not only the name and status is beyond her reach but also his heart.

Important Notice: This book isn't incest, the synopsis below is just a plot twist. Being in bed with her father was all she yearned for. She would always get mad each time she caught a glimpse of any lady chatting with her dad. This feeling had to stop, she was lusting after her dad. There are many guys out there, trying their logical best to seize her attention for she was a beauty to behold, but all she wanted was her dad, her dad alone. She always wished for her mom to always be on business trips, so she would have all the time with her hottie dad. It started as a mere attraction, a mere attraction from a daughter to her dad, but what started as a mere attraction became lust, pure lust. Daniella is the only child of her parents, her mom was always on business trips so she hardly took care of her only child. This made her grow fond of her young and super hot dad while growing up. Both father and daughter fell in love with each other, but each of them tried to conceal their feelings for one another. However, such feelings of lust couldn't be hidden for long, such feelings of cravings couldn't be held back. Would Daniella and her dad get to stop the taboo they were about to engage in? Would the lust between them turn to love? What would happen when Daniella found out that the man she’d always believed was her father was not her real father? In fact, he's nowhere close to being her father. Would she continue loving this man or their love become devastated and Liam wouldn't be able to fight for his love? Read to get all the answers!