food jokes

My sister was the golden child, the pride of our family, but she had a rare blood disorder that required treatments costing thousands every month. To keep her alive, I became her personal blood donor, working nonstop to pay for her care and delivering food all day and night. But one day, she nearly died from hemorrhaging after trying to abort a pregnancy. That’s when I learned the child she was carrying belonged to my boyfriend. When I confronted him, he didn’t even flinch. Instead, he dragged me to the operating table himself. “You were born to be her blood bank. Dying for her? It’s the best thing you’ll ever do.” I was left there, bleeding out, my life slipping away with every drop. But as death closed in, something changed. The people who once hoped I’d disappear—the ones who used me, betrayed me—they all began to unravel, losing their insanity.

"Do you still have a boyfriend?" He asked with a mocking tone. "I thought that ship sailed already. I do not bite Sunflower. The last time we spoke, you said you like what you see." Simon said standing up. He went over to her, shifted her food aside and sat on the same spot. "The only excuse you gave for not wanting to feel what I have to offer, was your boyfriend. Is the excuse still valid?" He asked with a sensual smile touching her cheeks gently with the pad of his thumb while the other hand found his newly discovered spot, the crease of her ears. "Imagine the level of pleasure I would give you. I am a very patient man when it comes to my desires and I am not greedy as well. Your pleasure, would be my pleasure." He reassured her with a smile. He got down from the table and walked over to her, standing behind her. Slowly, he sucked on her neck. "Mmm," came the suppressed moan from Paige with her eyes shut. "Shhhh, you don't want to disturb the people behind those doors." He said. Money was top of Paige Patterson's priority list while Love didn't even make it to the list. There were too many bills to pay and a childhood memory to secure. The Kentleys seemed to be her only hope to financial freedom but the price was way too much for her. With Simon Kentley, she would be able to sort out all her needs but would she be able to sort any of his? Other Books By The Author. •You Are Mine For Keeps •Loved By A Real Man

Kabera is a girl from a poor family. While in high school, she decides to snatch people's snacks and steal their things to sell and earn money. One day, she decides to snatch food from a little girl. The girl tells her that she is the daughter of the governor and that she will tell her father. Kabera threatened her not to say anything and as the little girl was afraid, she didn't say anything until the last day of the school year when she came with her big brother Ariel who is also the governor's son. She told him that Kabera often snatched her snack. That's how Ariel went to meet Kabera to ask her for explanations but...

When Iris surrendered to a night of passion with Gavin , the ruthless alpha CEO, she never expected her life to be forever changed. Believing they shared a fated connection, she was shattered by his callous dismissal with the statement, “I don't eat same food twice” But fate had other plans. Months later, Iris discovers she's carrying twins - identical replicas of the man who broke her heart. Determined to raise them alone, she sends a defiant message to Gavin, packaging one of the twins with a note that reads: "Dessert after supper." Gavin's world is turned upside down by the arrival of his unexpected heir. Enraged and intrigued, he dispatches his team to track down the elusive Iris, only to find her vanished into thin air. As the new head of the enigmatic Green family, Iris has mastered the art of invisibility. But Gavin's not one to give up easily. The game of cat and mouse has begun, with the twins as the ultimate prize.

Every third year, Mother of the sea demands her rituals to be paid, and He was on the wrong side of luck when he was chosen. His only fate was death, while was defiled on this day. After a terrible confrontation, the weakest mermaid is used as ritual to apease the gods for food and protection. Escaping and running from a great responsibility that open his colony to danger. Returning back to where he came from was a difficulty decision. Every where he goes, he is a potential threat, there is only one place he can be welcomed. The human land, yet he is a greater threat to human because he is a Merman. The struggle of blending in continues after he meet those who are instrumental to his struggles but he won't live with the fault that there won't be any consequences for his actions

Louise Nimby De Jesus is living her life to the fullest even without wealth on her side. She has her Best Bud Mnebane, Her mother, and her best friend Bleatish. But the day where her birthdate arrives, blowing candles and a little cooked food, her mother had a heart attack, a house mortgage, and a debt her father had before he dies. Having a hard time getting money to sustain her mother’s heart operation and to pay all the debts her dead father has. That is when Hyrous happen, Bleatish Offered her a job by marrying Hyrous Valleur her best friend's fiance.

The prophecy has been told. A Tribrid will be born to slaught*er every people who oppose with its rule. She will be the queen of all, and every person who will go against her will not only lost his life, but will also burn his soul. Every races was threatened, thus, they made one cruel rule: No Tribrid shall be born. However, few years later, an omega from Shadow pack made a disturbance with its destructive power that trembled everyone. But no one had found where the Tribrid girl after the incident. They were restless. They need to find the tribid and kill it before everything became too late. One the other hand, Sidrich was oblivious of the destructive power within her. Being abused and slaved her whole life, it was hard for her to trust someone again. But meeting the second prince of Sharmai empire, Prince Alastair, Sidrich found herself trusting the prince instantly. His flirtatious remarks, his corny jokes, and his undying devotion to protect Sidrich at all cost beyond everything and everyone made the latter feel safe and comfortable towards the prince. Amidst of all chaos and chasing, the two fought for their love that has never been permissible. However, happiness comes with a price. With enemies trying to find and kill the tribrid, could the two of them would be able to fight until the end of all the havoc?

On our first wedding anniversary, my husband came home with a woman who was six months pregnant. He introduced her as his cousin, someone who had fallen on hard times, and asked me to take care of her. I was just about to agree when fragments of imaginary commentary floated through my mind: [She's just my 'cousin'. Uh-uh, that's a cliche.] [Poor supporting female character! A maid by day, the husband's bedwarmer by night.] [But she totally deserved it! If she hadn't broken up the main couple, they'd have a whole soccer team of kids by now!] Wait—what? Supporting female character? Me? And what's this about breaking them up? So now these two get to cheat under my roof, and somehow I'm the villain? Before I could process it all, my husband was already dragging her luggage inside. "Alice doesn't like fried food," he said matter-of-factly. "And nothing too salty or spicy. Make sure you keep that in mind when you're cooking. "Oh, and pregnant women love sweets. Go out now and buy a cherry cake. The one from that bakery in the suburbs."

During the mass terrorist attack in Manila, every legal-aged citizen is required to work for the government in order to reclaim the living land by battling as an option. The country where the terrorists originated is still in the unknown and under further investigation. Meanwhile, juveniles who were separated from their families had no choice but to live by themselves — whereas building a town, planting food crops, hunting animals and even manslaughter is even a necessity by means of survival. Keisha and his brother, Jaden, are left alone to be chased by vicious brutes hiding from the shadows. Until then they found hope wherein they can rule over and claim justice in the ongoing catastrophe. Is this going to be their chance to be the unsung heroes?

“No, no, no!” She cried out, bending over to savage the little she could, but every attempt seemed fruitless because the food kept soaking into the wet ground. Unfortunately, it had rained that morning. This made her furious. With frantic wide eyes and a rage-fueled strength, she grabbed the nearest huge stone she could carry and ran like a wild beast, screaming at the top of her lungs after the car that had deprived her siblings’ food.