food jokes

When Annalise came to Great Oaks, it was the worst punishment she ever had. She had known the city to be normal and boring but it was not until she discovered that that normal and boring was just a facade to cover the darkness looming over it. Her view changed when one night, she got bitten by a vampire. She will realize that Great Oaks is swarmed with these creatures. She's human, food for the vampires. But in the city of Great Oaks, things could change. And with change, she will realize she is more than just a human but something greater than she wished to acknowledge.

Faraiah Villegas; a woman with a simple life. Since losing her parents at the age of eighteen, she has learned to work for herself. She provided her own food, daily expenses, et cetera. As she grows, the cost of living she has to maintain also increased. Because of that, she had to find a job that can provide an income that would meet her needs. Luckily, Zarelli's mansion—owned by the richest family in town—was looking for a maid. Without an ado, Faraiah grabbed the opportunity not knowing that it would be the beginning of her chaotic life. After meeting and finding the dark secret of the master of the house—Cleon Reve Zarelli—her world turned upside-down. "The alpha . . . has been chasing me."

“I, Alpha Draco of the Peony pack hereby reject you, Helena, as my mate. I refuse to have anything to do with you anymore. You will be banished from this pack, never to set foot on this land anymore or you will pay for it with your life” his thick voice boomed through the cold and dark cell where I was kept all day with no food or water. My chapped lips parted painfully as the flesh drew each other tightly. I couldn’t even beg or plead for mercy. It was a miracle that I was not even killed because I was probably the most hated person in the pack at that moment. He didn’t allow me to utter whatever I had in mind before he turned his back on me. My finger grazed his cold hand as I tried to hold onto him, I was late. The warm eyes that had always behold me now look at me with disdain. There was no hope anywhere, his extreme sadness was visible even through his back as his footstep retracted into the long distance. At the loud clunk of the prison’s door kissing its hinge, my whole world crumbled. The only thing left in me was the small life breathing in my womb, something Draco never knew of. Right there, I made the resolution to live for my baby and find out the truth behind what happened in the pack that night.

Patrick and Clare wake up trapped in a basement, a thin wall separating their cells. Their captor is mysteriously absent, which at first seems like a blessing. As more time passes with no food or water, they begin to realize a clock is ticking for their survival.They know their captor is still out there, and it is only a matter of time before he returns.©️ Crystal Lake Publishing

*BLURB* Revenge! Revenge! Revenge! That's all he wants. Damon's happiness knew no bounds when he finally found his mate, sadly, he knew nothing about the betrayal going on behind his back. One fateful day, he caught his mate in bed with his younger brother and that was when it all became clear to him, the one he considered his loved ones had betrayed him. He was oblivious of the fact that his mate and brother had also been poisoning his food for a very long time. Seeing he has already found out their secret, what was the need to keep him alive, his brother and mate successfully killed him. Before he gave up the ghost, he prayed to the moon godess to give him a second chance at life. His prayers were answered and now he's back, back to pay those who betrayed him and punish them for their betrayal. But little did he know that fate has something else install for him, a twist in the story came, a twist he wasn't expecting or prepared for.... Will he be able to finish his revenge now?

Living alone can cause a fortune, especially when you are just a student. Bills, food, transportation, academic fees were some of the things you have to pay in order to survive. However, the 18-year old Ysabella had no trouble complying with those as she earns a lot of money from running a business. An application called “Ringo Dingo” is the core of her business. Ysabella created it two years ago to easily communicate with her clients. One acceptance of request is equivalent to tons of pennies. Her business grew and lots of clients were using the service she provides. But the thing is, it is not your typical business. Ysabella, together with everyone involved in it, could get into trouble when the school authorities know about it. Or worse, they might get expelled. Be with Ysabella as she runs her business and unfolds the unexpected turns of events in her life. You are invited to join Ringo Dingo! Accept Decline

[How do you avoid the darkly handsome Beta that wants to... eat you?] Camilla: I was sent to Alpha Jackal’s mansion to pay off my foster parent’s debt. It wasn’t something I feared until I learned that Rin, the pack's Beta, is a powerful demon. Now I'm stuck under the same roof as Rin, and there is no chance of avoiding him. I wish I could. Why? Because a demon murdered my parents in cold blood. I fear Rin. Demons are monstrous, which is why it must be one of life's cruel jokes to have inserted Rin into my life. Rin: I should stay away from the new housekeeper, but how could I possibly keep away from the seductive she-wolf? She is gorgeous, and my Alpha would punish me if he knew badly I wanted her to sit on my face, squirming and moaning my name. He can never know the truth, especially not since he seems interested in her too.

When I woke up, I had somehow become trapped in the body of my disobedient daughter. I had sacrificed everything, living frugally to send her to the best school. Yet, she called me almost daily, claiming—like someone trapped in a paranoid delusion—that her teachers and classmates were out to harm her. She was willful and rebellious, picky about food, befriending the wrong crowd, and even dating a troublemaker at a young age. As a sister, she was far from kind, constantly bullying her younger brother. And school? Surely, it couldn’t be harder than working a full-time job. But then, as I lived in her shoes, a group of girls cornered me in the restroom, kicking me mercilessly. Returning home, I was met not with care but with a sorry excuse for a meal. Only then did I begin to understand the pain my daughter had endured...

Everyday! Bryce Armstrong has bullied me for the last four years since I moved here in my ninth-grade year because ever since, I messed up his shoes! Well, it's a long story, but I ran into him on my first day and knocked all my food over his brand-new shoes. So ever since that incident, he started making my life a nightmare. Ever since that day, he hated me! So, one night, Williow goes to a party but needs to know whose house it is. But when her cousin Maryann tells her where they are going, Williow doesn't know whose house it is until she sees a familiar face on the wall of this house! Bryce Armstrong! The guy who hates her guts and he promised to make her life a living hell. What would happen if she woke up the following day with her face on a half-naked guy's chest? But what if the half-naked guy is no other than the guy who made his life mission in high school to make her life suffer, and he always told her he would enjoy it when he did? What would happen when willow grabs her shoes off the floor and slowly opens the door when she tries to walk out? Before she can do that, she hears something behind her. She gasped when she felt a hand wrapped around her waist and pulled back, and her back was on his hard stomach. "So, no kiss goodbye?" She heard his deep raspy chuckle behind her. She was caught! Now it's too late, and Her monster got her in his lair. The Story of The Girl Behind the Book! High School Bully Romance.

At first, I thought life was so easy but as the years had passed, I realized that life is obnoxious, specially for those poor who pray every day to win in a lottery. Since I was a kid, I already had carried a big responsibility in my arms, sometimes making me question myself whether I was born to live happily or the other way around. My mom and father had a divorce when I was a kid, and unluckily, she made me choose between her and papa. And now, too bad but I regretted nothing. On that day, I chose my dad, and never in million of years would I become jealous to my sister (who had chosen mom) just because she is rich and can buy anything she wants. I was used at buying my only basic needs, securing the rest of my money for future because I know I will still be the only one who can benefit at the end. I was just living peacefully, without having any regrets and doubts, but there is a man named Spencer whose arrogance could reach the planet Jupiter. And I can't deny he got the looks that made everyone to flicker after him. But never in million years would I become fluttered just because of silly and corny jokes from him. But I became tongue-tied for predicting everything. Because I was wrong for judging him like that.