All Chapters of Always is not Forever: Chapter 31 - Chapter 40

Checking the mug, I threw the unfinished coffee in the sink, cleaned and put it back to its place. While turning, I saw Kabir standing next to the doorway, back to his casual clothes. His previous state entered my brain and I push it away.Don't have such thoughts.They were too much for me.But how to kill the temptation?"Your dad left." He nodded, thinking something else. "Are you tired? Want a coffee?" I went to the coffee machine and he didn't halt my steps. While I was preparing his favorite espresso shot, he stared at me."Move in with me." The mug fell from my hands and I turned to him, gasping. "Move in with me, Alina.""What?"He caught my hand, carefully helping to step out from the broken pieces of the mug."Did you talk to your dad yet?" I shook my head. "Good. Move in with me.""As in living together?"He nodded his head. "You said nobody can handle your screams. I want to see what's so scary about them. I want to see why living with you is such a tough thing for others."

[ A L I N A ' S P O V ]Yawning, I placed my head between the pages of the book and stared at the words entering my mind. Words could be good, words could be bad, words could cut deep, worlds could heal. What if healing was becoming tougher than you thought of? What if no words were helping to heal the void spreading in your heart? What was happening? If I lapsed to take my medicines for a week, is that what would become of me? The old Alina, dark and silent, or maybe I was still the same.Maybe I couldn't see what the reality was. What if I was living in a dream when in reality I was still in that room, hiding under the bed? What if I was still cutting myself to forget the mark of his on my body? What if I was under the influence of alcohol to curb my protests? What if he was still punishing me for trying to tell anyone? What if Kabir never existed in my life and I was imagining it? What if everyone was right and I was telling lies about my childhood? What if I had imagined of it?

Ignoring the sunlight, I turned on the bed and snuggled deeper under the sheets. Flying my hand on the empty bed, I parted my eyelids instantly.Alina.Where was she?Scared, I sat up on the bed and found her standing beside the bed with a tray in her hand. Astonished at her behavior, I sat on the bed and gazed at her nervous expression.Last night when she had stopped screaming, she had changed her clothes and asked me to sleep with her. I wanted to object but her body had been shaking, revealing the nightmare clutching her from inside. She needed me.And the whole night, I couldn't use Alina to call her.She despised her own name."What are you doing?" I asked. She placed the tray on my lap, decorated with a cup of coffee and crispy parantha with curd.She joined me in the small space beside me, fiddling with her fingers and smoothing down her hair. I pasted my gaze to her face to control myself to not stare how she looked in my school jersey. She didn't need to wear it, but she need

"Alina," I heard his voice from outside my door. Angered, I opened the door and pushed him far away from me. His shocked eyes met mine, but I couldn't control the anger. He didn't care to call me back, he didn't reply to my messages and because of him, I was about to cut myself again."Where were you?" I screamed. "I was so worried. Why didn't you pick my call?""You were disturbing me," He replied quietly. "Who calls a person twenty times a night?""I was worried!""But it's too much." He flew his hands in the air. "I'm not a kid, Alina. My parents don't trouble me this much as you did tonight. I told you I was going out. What was the thing to be worried about?""Then why did you pick up my call? With whom were you?" I inched closer to him. "You were with Grisha, isn't it? Having a great time leaving your sick girlfriend.""What the hell are you talking about?!" He screamed, anger evident on his face. "I came to check on you because I found the broken glass in the kitchen.""Well, con

"Are you sure I look good?" I voiced my doubts to the phone. On the other end, Nisha laughed for the third time. "Don't laugh," I whined, picking the rest of dresses from the bed.She didn't understand how important it was for me to look good because I wanted to impress Kabir and show him that in my sickness, I wasn't too much of a burden. I had no idea how he forgave my foolish behavior every single time.From past two nights, we were having too much drama in our lives and it was affecting me too much, pushing me to edge again and again. I had no idea how would I explain it to him, explain the things going through my mind, the demons conjuring it again while I strived to put them at the back of everything.It was like reliving everything, all at once."You look beautiful," She replied. "He's going to love it. By the way, where you both are going?""I don't know." I grabbed the black wedges from the cupboard. "Heels or wedges.""Wedges. Heels will hurt your ankle for a long time," She