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30. The One Where I Understand
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Always is not Forever 31. The One Where I Move In
Checking the mug, I threw the unfinished coffee in the sink, cleaned and put it back to its place. While turning, I saw Kabir standing next to the doorway, back to his casual clothes. His previous state entered my brain and I push it away.Don't have such thoughts.They were too much for me.But how to kill the temptation?"Your dad left." He nodded, thinking something else. "Are you tired? Want a coffee?" I went to the coffee machine and he didn't halt my steps. While I was preparing his favorite espresso shot, he stared at me."Move in with me." The mug fell from my hands and I turned to him, gasping. "Move in with me, Alina.""What?"He caught my hand, carefully helping to step out from the broken pieces of the mug."Did you talk to your dad yet?" I shook my head. "Good. Move in with me.""As in living together?"He nodded his head. "You said nobody can handle your screams. I want to see what's so scary about them. I want to see why living with you is such a tough thing for others."
Always is not Forever 32. The One Where We Talk
I heard the ring, and quickly, I ran and opened the door. Grinning, I let him enter and snatched the polythene from his hands.Blue lays.I hated blue lays."What the hell it is?" I demanded, closed the door shut. "You know I hate spicy.""I know." He placed the Mojito on the table. "They were out of all other flavors.""But I hate it," I whined. "Really hate it."He looked at me for a couple of seconds before asking, "Want to go to grocery shopping? I'm already out of stuff, and we can buy things which you like.""Chocolate cupcake?"He grabbed his wallet from the back of his pocket, checked through it and I could see a frown coming, but he shook it off and smiled, "Yes, that too. And Nutella box as well. Come. But you need to guide me. I always get confused."I killed the urge to point out that I myself had never done grocery shopping and it was the first time for me."But we go in my car.""Fine, but I'm driving." Before I could argue, he ran and stole the keys from the key stand. I
Always is not Forever 33. The One Where I Go Back
[ A L I N A ' S P O V ]Yawning, I placed my head between the pages of the book and stared at the words entering my mind. Words could be good, words could be bad, words could cut deep, worlds could heal. What if healing was becoming tougher than you thought of? What if no words were helping to heal the void spreading in your heart? What was happening? If I lapsed to take my medicines for a week, is that what would become of me? The old Alina, dark and silent, or maybe I was still the same.Maybe I couldn't see what the reality was. What if I was living in a dream when in reality I was still in that room, hiding under the bed? What if I was still cutting myself to forget the mark of his on my body? What if I was under the influence of alcohol to curb my protests? What if he was still punishing me for trying to tell anyone? What if Kabir never existed in my life and I was imagining it? What if everyone was right and I was telling lies about my childhood? What if I had imagined of it?
Always is not Forever 34. The One Where I Face Her
[ K A B I R ' S P O V ]Instead of ringing the bell, I entered through the key and found the lights turned on."Alina," I called her but heard nothing. I called her again and heard no response again. Fear settled at the bottom of my stomach. Had I done right by leaving her alone in the apartment? She wasn't in a good mood, and I had left just like that.What if she had cut herself?My eyes widened slightly.What if she had cut too deep?Quickly, I ran to the kitchen, her room and discovered them empty.Where was she?Terrace.Clutching my hair, I sprinted to the terrace and sighed in relief, founding her head rested on the table. Wearing a lazy smile, I trudged forward and bent in front of her. She was sleeping in the coldness.Stupid girl.Always slept reading.Carefully, I took the book out from her head and placed it on the side. She would kill me if something happened to her book. Stretching my arms, I placed my arm between her knees and back and lifted her.Damn, had she gone
Always is not Forever 35. The One Where I Have Breakfast
Ignoring the sunlight, I turned on the bed and snuggled deeper under the sheets. Flying my hand on the empty bed, I parted my eyelids instantly.Alina.Where was she?Scared, I sat up on the bed and found her standing beside the bed with a tray in her hand. Astonished at her behavior, I sat on the bed and gazed at her nervous expression.Last night when she had stopped screaming, she had changed her clothes and asked me to sleep with her. I wanted to object but her body had been shaking, revealing the nightmare clutching her from inside. She needed me.And the whole night, I couldn't use Alina to call her.She despised her own name."What are you doing?" I asked. She placed the tray on my lap, decorated with a cup of coffee and crispy parantha with curd.She joined me in the small space beside me, fiddling with her fingers and smoothing down her hair. I pasted my gaze to her face to control myself to not stare how she looked in my school jersey. She didn't need to wear it, but she need
Always is not Forever 36. The One Where I Cut
[ A L I N A ' S P O V ]"I won't be able to come early tonight," Kabir moved around the living room, searching for his books. Rolling my eyes, I crunched beside the LED panel and snatched the books from one of the drawers and passed it to him. He passed me a thankful smile and stuffed it into his bag. "And yes about today. I won't be able to come early.""Why?" I strapped my hair in a high pony."Going to spend time with my friends. You don't mind, right?" He looked up from his bag.Yes, I minded it. I would be worried to hell about where were you and with whom you were. What if you were lying like dad? What if you were going to meet some girl?Shut up, Alina!Trust him!"Na, it's okay." I waved my hand in the air as if it would remove the bugging happening inside me. He could go out with his friends. If we lived together, it didn't mean we had to spend every single minute with each other. Some separation from each other would do us good."Sure?" He wore his specs. "After what happ
Always is not Forever 37. The One Where I Doubt
"Alina," I heard his voice from outside my door. Angered, I opened the door and pushed him far away from me. His shocked eyes met mine, but I couldn't control the anger. He didn't care to call me back, he didn't reply to my messages and because of him, I was about to cut myself again."Where were you?" I screamed. "I was so worried. Why didn't you pick my call?""You were disturbing me," He replied quietly. "Who calls a person twenty times a night?""I was worried!""But it's too much." He flew his hands in the air. "I'm not a kid, Alina. My parents don't trouble me this much as you did tonight. I told you I was going out. What was the thing to be worried about?""Then why did you pick up my call? With whom were you?" I inched closer to him. "You were with Grisha, isn't it? Having a great time leaving your sick girlfriend.""What the hell are you talking about?!" He screamed, anger evident on his face. "I came to check on you because I found the broken glass in the kitchen.""Well, con
Always is not Forever 38. The One Where I Clear it Out
He caught my hand, his eyes silently asking if this was okay. Which boyfriend ask that?"So many things, bookworm. How you keep it in your head?" He raised his lips. "Let's start with me, okay? Why do you think you're undesirable? It's going to sound cheesy but you don't see yourself the way I see you. Dhruv is an idiot. I want you so badly, but let me keep those thoughts to myself. Sometimes I find it hard to control my hands.""And damn Alina, your past matters to me. I'm not saying it doesn't matter because it's such a huge part of everything of you. And don't say that rich thing ever again. I'm not using you. It'll break me."He stopped, catching a breath but all I did was review his words in my mind, again and again, storing in my heart."I don't care about Grisha or Sanchi or anyone. I don't act, Alina. You make me happy, too much and too hard." My lips raised curled from sides. "They all can go to hell if they desire. But if it troubles you so much, I won't talk to her. She neve
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