33. The One Where I Go Back

[ A L I N A ' S P O V ]

Yawning, I placed my head between the pages of the book and stared at the words entering my mind. Words could be good, words could be bad, words could cut deep, worlds could heal. What if healing was becoming tougher than you thought of? What if no words were helping to heal the void spreading in your heart? What was happening? If I lapsed to take my medicines for a week, is that what would become of me? The old Alina, dark and silent, or maybe I was still the same.

Maybe I couldn't see what the reality was. What if I was living in a dream when in reality I was still in that room, hiding under the bed? What if I was still cutting myself to forget the mark of his on my body? What if I was under the influence of alcohol to curb my protests? What if he was still punishing me for trying to tell anyone? What if Kabir never existed in my life and I was imagining it? What if everyone was right and I was telling lies about my childhood? What if I had imagined of it?