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36. The One Where I Cut
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Always is not Forever 37. The One Where I Doubt
"Alina," I heard his voice from outside my door. Angered, I opened the door and pushed him far away from me. His shocked eyes met mine, but I couldn't control the anger. He didn't care to call me back, he didn't reply to my messages and because of him, I was about to cut myself again."Where were you?" I screamed. "I was so worried. Why didn't you pick my call?""You were disturbing me," He replied quietly. "Who calls a person twenty times a night?""I was worried!""But it's too much." He flew his hands in the air. "I'm not a kid, Alina. My parents don't trouble me this much as you did tonight. I told you I was going out. What was the thing to be worried about?""Then why did you pick up my call? With whom were you?" I inched closer to him. "You were with Grisha, isn't it? Having a great time leaving your sick girlfriend.""What the hell are you talking about?!" He screamed, anger evident on his face. "I came to check on you because I found the broken glass in the kitchen.""Well, con
Always is not Forever 38. The One Where I Clear it Out
He caught my hand, his eyes silently asking if this was okay. Which boyfriend ask that?"So many things, bookworm. How you keep it in your head?" He raised his lips. "Let's start with me, okay? Why do you think you're undesirable? It's going to sound cheesy but you don't see yourself the way I see you. Dhruv is an idiot. I want you so badly, but let me keep those thoughts to myself. Sometimes I find it hard to control my hands.""And damn Alina, your past matters to me. I'm not saying it doesn't matter because it's such a huge part of everything of you. And don't say that rich thing ever again. I'm not using you. It'll break me."He stopped, catching a breath but all I did was review his words in my mind, again and again, storing in my heart."I don't care about Grisha or Sanchi or anyone. I don't act, Alina. You make me happy, too much and too hard." My lips raised curled from sides. "They all can go to hell if they desire. But if it troubles you so much, I won't talk to her. She neve
Always is not Forever 39. The One Where I Go On Date
"Are you sure I look good?" I voiced my doubts to the phone. On the other end, Nisha laughed for the third time. "Don't laugh," I whined, picking the rest of dresses from the bed.She didn't understand how important it was for me to look good because I wanted to impress Kabir and show him that in my sickness, I wasn't too much of a burden. I had no idea how he forgave my foolish behavior every single time.From past two nights, we were having too much drama in our lives and it was affecting me too much, pushing me to edge again and again. I had no idea how would I explain it to him, explain the things going through my mind, the demons conjuring it again while I strived to put them at the back of everything.It was like reliving everything, all at once."You look beautiful," She replied. "He's going to love it. By the way, where you both are going?""I don't know." I grabbed the black wedges from the cupboard. "Heels or wedges.""Wedges. Heels will hurt your ankle for a long time," She
Always is not Forever 40. The One Where He is Insulted
"What?" I whispered slowly, the night wind bringing shivers to my bare arms."I was a jerk," He said slowly, letting the words enter my mind. "You were so closed off that it intrigued me. For a year, I waited to talk to you, and when we did, most of the time you would yell at me and then I saw the napkins." I tensed, endeavoring to stand up from here and hear nothing else. "I'm confessing, Alina, please don't leave." I nodded, waiting for him to explain me further. "But I didn't know that inside that angry girl lies a girl who could make me turn my whole attention to her, just her."He picked at his cloth napkin. "Instead of breaking, I wanted to remake you. You just changed everything when you smiled at me that night." He smiled at one of the memories I had no idea about. "Everything was fine." He laughed. "But then you smiled. You have the prettiest smile, do you know that?"How could I get angry when he knew what to add to make me melt every inch of annoyance that was rising when he
Always is not Forever 41. The One Where I Help
Before I could say anything, he started dragging us out of the hotel, ignoring my protests. Was he angry at me for being this rude to that man? What was my mistake? He was insulting Kabir as if he meant nothing as if he wasn't any person but an object he owned. I may not know business but this was not how you behaved with people below you.He called for the car, and as soon it came, he ushered me in and settled into the driver's seat. The anger was evident on his face, his hands clutched the steering wheel tightly, his eyes didn't turn to look at me and let me help him or anything.I called for him, but he didn't turn to look at me and when we reached our apartment, he parked the car rashly and without explaining anything, entered the apartment and shut his door with a hard bang and next I heard something breaking in his room.I flinched. Should I enter? What if he was too angry? What if screamed at me? What if I wasn't strong to handle his anger? Time. I should give him time to relax
Always is not Forever 42. The One Where I Mourn
[ A L I N A ' S P O V ] Checking the calendar on the mobile, I chewed my lower lip. Our one month was ending, and I had to move out, but I didn't want to. I craved spending time with him, felt the relief pouring to me when we would talk late at nights, laughing or somedays, we didn't talk but sat beside each other, watching TV and that used to be enough.I loved getting up in the morning and finding him coming from the GYM. I loved sleeping next to him when I would have a nightmare and waking up to find him sleeping soundly. I loved leaving the apartment together for college and coming back together. However, some days I took my car because he would have basketball practice. I loved waiting for him to come back from work and just see him even if we didn't say anything more than few words.But it was ending.And he didn't even ask if I could stay further. It wasn't his mistake. What we did was so wrong in so many parts. Dad would kill me if he got to know I lived with Kabir under
Always is not Forever 43. The One Where I Learn About Mood Swings
[ K A B I R ' S P O V ]Switching off the TV, I patted my jeans and got up from the couch to go to my room and sleep. Stretching my arms in the air, I yawned loudly, ignoring Alina's scowl at my back. She hated it whenever I did it.Well, she had to live with it if she wanted to live with me.Our month. It was ending. She would be gone by the end of this week. I wouldn't hear her laughter in the morning, wouldn't hear her constant battering of putting things on place, wouldn't see her sleepy head after coming back from GYM, wouldn't hold her close to me whenever she would have a nightmare, wouldn't shout at her to get ready fast when she would be doing yoga, wouldn't remind her to take medicines, wouldn't be there with her.She would be gone.Turning, I faced her, busy with changing the channel. Could I ask her to stay with me? Could I hold her close to me no matter how wrong it was? Would she be angry at me? Would she be disappointed at me?Not once, she expressed how she wanted t
Always is not Forever 44. The One Where I Damage His Car
"Kabir, we're getting late!" I called, washing my breakfast plate.I frowned at the soap tumbling down the surface, surprised by Kabir's behavior of not coming out of his room early. He hadn't even gone to GYM today, stayed in his room and woke up when I had knocked on his door.Swirling, I gawked at his untouched breakfast and sighed. Looks like I would be missing my first lecture of the day.Drying the plate with the cloth, I placed it inside the cabinet and covered his breakfast plate.Worried, I was about to retreat to his room when he wobbled inside the kitchen. His head bent down, bag slung over his shoulder and tired actions. He gave a stare to his breakfast and asked, "Let's go. I'm not hungry. Your lectures start early."Dropping the cloth, I trudged to his side and asked, "Are you okay? You don't seem fine.""Just a bit tired. Slept late." He blinked his eyes rapidly. "My shoulders are aching." He sat on the kitchen stool and leaned his head on the slab, moaning in pain. Tens
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