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42. The One Where I Mourn
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2022-10-15 21:55:05Related chapters
Always is not Forever 43. The One Where I Learn About Mood Swings
[ K A B I R ' S P O V ]Switching off the TV, I patted my jeans and got up from the couch to go to my room and sleep. Stretching my arms in the air, I yawned loudly, ignoring Alina's scowl at my back. She hated it whenever I did it.Well, she had to live with it if she wanted to live with me.Our month. It was ending. She would be gone by the end of this week. I wouldn't hear her laughter in the morning, wouldn't hear her constant battering of putting things on place, wouldn't see her sleepy head after coming back from GYM, wouldn't hold her close to me whenever she would have a nightmare, wouldn't shout at her to get ready fast when she would be doing yoga, wouldn't remind her to take medicines, wouldn't be there with her.She would be gone.Turning, I faced her, busy with changing the channel. Could I ask her to stay with me? Could I hold her close to me no matter how wrong it was? Would she be angry at me? Would she be disappointed at me?Not once, she expressed how she wanted t
Last Updated : 2022-10-16Always is not Forever 44. The One Where I Damage His Car
"Kabir, we're getting late!" I called, washing my breakfast plate.I frowned at the soap tumbling down the surface, surprised by Kabir's behavior of not coming out of his room early. He hadn't even gone to GYM today, stayed in his room and woke up when I had knocked on his door.Swirling, I gawked at his untouched breakfast and sighed. Looks like I would be missing my first lecture of the day.Drying the plate with the cloth, I placed it inside the cabinet and covered his breakfast plate.Worried, I was about to retreat to his room when he wobbled inside the kitchen. His head bent down, bag slung over his shoulder and tired actions. He gave a stare to his breakfast and asked, "Let's go. I'm not hungry. Your lectures start early."Dropping the cloth, I trudged to his side and asked, "Are you okay? You don't seem fine.""Just a bit tired. Slept late." He blinked his eyes rapidly. "My shoulders are aching." He sat on the kitchen stool and leaned his head on the slab, moaning in pain. Tens
Last Updated : 2022-10-17Always is not Forever 45. The One Where I Repent
"Kabir." I tried to shake his shoulder, but his breath was shallow, body was shivering and sweating too much.Break the fever.Following what Meena Auntie used to do with me, I strolled to the kitchen, poured the cold water along with cubes of the ice in the bowl and my handkerchief from the pocket. Walking back to his room, I sat next to him, dipped the handkerchief in the bowl, soaked it, squeezed the excess water and placed it on his forehead.Repeating the process rest of the evening, I changed the water two times and did it again to break his fever. When his shivering had calmed down, I sighed in relief and settled on the chair, staring and waiting if he needed something.Battling with my thoughts, I left his room, grabbed my phone from the hall's table and called the person who could help me in this situation."Hello," His mother voice invaded."Auntie," I sighed in relief. "I need your help.""Is everything okay?"I clenched my hand at her worried tone and controlled the jealous
Last Updated : 2022-10-18Always is not Forever 46. The One Where I Have a Flashback
"Alina, sit." Meena Auntie pointed to the chair. "Everyone is coming.""You made my favorite?" I asked, grinning and for a while forgetting what had happened in my room an hour ago.She nodded, tapping my cheek and grinned back. "Rishi said me to make your special."The smile left my face. She noticed it, and before she could ask further, Misha entered the dining room, ruffled my hair and sat opposite to me."Di, sit next to me," I pleaded.She wouldn't touch me."I love this seat," she said. "Don't irritate me.""Please, I will sit next to you." Dropping from my seat, I walked to her sit and settled next to her. "I love sitting next to you."She laughed, nodded and started filling her plate. I pointed at the stuff I wanted on my plate and she helped me placing each of them.Soon, mom and masi came, sitting opposite to us.A hand rested on my thigh, slipping inside the skirt.Gulping, I skidded my gaze to look at the side and all the things of an hour ago came back. He didn't care to t
Last Updated : 2022-10-19Always is not Forever 47. The One Where I am Comforted
A relief look dawned on his face. "I will make up for it as soon I get better. Just don't trouble yourself anymore. Let the car go to hell. You're the most important person in my life." I gasped. "Come here." He caught my hand, pushing me forward to his face. "It has been three months since we're living together. I would've never asked you in the first place if you weren't important. I love my space too much like you do, but with you, it doesn't seem like interrupted, it feels complete."He tucked my hair behind my ear. "Tell me what's troubling you.""Kabir—""I love when you say my name." He hummed, smiling. "Switch on the AC. It's too warm here. Open the windows too. It's suffocating." Nodding, I stood up, turned on the AC, walked to the window and opened them, let the coolness of the plants waft inside the room. "Now tell what's troubling you."Without facing him, I caressed the one of the plants' petal and confessed, "I got replies from two publishers.""That's amazing.""Rejectio
Last Updated : 2022-10-20Always is not Forever 48. The One Where I Teach Him
[ A L I N A ' S P O V ] "Stop staring at her," I scowled at the sight of Kabir whose eyes were pinned to the girl sitting opposite to us.Who knew he would be like this? The anger in me was rising, not just because of his stare but how cheap it looked like. For past ten minutes, his eyes were glued to her and I hadn't noticed until she shifted uncomfortably.He broke his stare, shifted it to mine and said nothing."What are you doing?" I hissed. "We're in the airport and you're ogling at her. What has happened to you?"The Kabir I knew wasn't known for such behavior. I had never seen him pinning a girl with such a stare and to make them feel uncomfortable. What had gotten into him? Was this because I wouldn't let him touch me much? Was he thinking of having fun with someone else and then come to me, confessing the love he had for me?My anger increased and I hit his head with my book."Bookworm," He chuckled. "I wasn't staring at her.""You surely were. Look how uncomfortable she i
Last Updated : 2022-10-21Always is not Forever 49. The One Where I Shock My Dad
"Where is papa?" I asked Meena Auntie, passing both of my bags to one of the helpers.She turned, smiled and hugged me tightly. "Welcome back. Good thing you called this time.""Papa had said he would come, but he sent a driver," I complained. "I came with Kabir."I couldn't handle sitting with a stranger without preparing my mind for it. Whenever I would take a cab, I would be hitting in my mind to control yourself and don't get anxiety. Unexpected situations wore me down.Kabir had seen the distress on my face and suggested he would drop me home. I had insisted him to come inside but he was sleepy and wanted to go home. Reluctantly, I had nodded and bid him bye."He had work." I nodded tightly. Of course, he and his work. Breaking her grip on me, I stared at the floor. "Alina, your new room is ready.""Is it?"She nodded, smiling. "Your dad wanted to show you himself, but since he had work, he had to go. It was really important. He had said he would be back soon."I bit my lower lip,
Last Updated : 2022-11-06Always is not Forever 50. The One Where I Get It
[ K A B I R ' S P O V ]"What?" I asked for the tenth time to Nisha, who was grinning at me. "Why are you acting stupid? Mom, Nisha pagal ho gyi hai!""Shut up!" She kicked my ankle. "Tell me.""I'm not telling you what I bought for you. End of discussion." I paid attention back to my home, leaned my back against the tree and replied to the early birthday wishes.Where was Alina?She hadn't messaged me since I dropped her at her house. Did she forget my birthday? But she couldn't. She remembered Nisha's birthday, then, of course, she would've remembered mine as well."Our birthday is in ten minutes. Tell!" She insisted. "I won't tell you what I bought.""You're such an annoying twin. Get out.""I'm not a fan of sharing my birthday with you." She scowled. "I will tell you what Alina bought for you.""No need." I rolled my eyes at her. "She's buying me nothing. I forbid her.""What?"Facing my annoying twin, I smirked, "If she shows drama for accepting my gifts, I would do the same. I
Last Updated : 2022-11-07
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Always is not Forever 120. The One Where He Proposes
Rubbing my neck with the hand, I felt his presence on my back. "What is he doing here?"I turned to face him. "Kabir--""Alina, no." He cornered me, caging between his body by placing both of his hands on the counter table. "It's ten at the night.""He came. I couldn't say him to leave.""Or you could have said it's not ideal for him to come," He shot back, straining lines visible on his forehead. "You looked uncomfortable. Did he say something?"Nothing just confessed it to me and I had no idea why he thought he loved me when he knew nothing about me except the things I shared in the support group when he had no idea how needy I was, how I seek for attention."No," I whispered. "You got late.""Work." Pranit voice from the hall echoed in the kitchen and Kabir's eyes darkened. "I hate him. When I see him, I see how you said you loved him." But it was a lie. I was trying to hurt you, make you see how you leaving had impacted me. "I know you both have same past," He dragged a shaky brea
Always is not Forever 119. The One Where I Reject Him
"Come again?" Dr. Sha asked, her hands flying from right to left, hitting the ping pong ball with the red colored bat.Hitting with my bat, I tried to dodge her attempts to make me lose a point. "Why are we playing ping pong?""Don't you get bored staying in a room?""Kind of."But this wasn't what I had expected when she called for an outside meeting instead in her building's cabin. I had thought a café maybe, or someplace quiet but she had surprised by calling me to a club and assured nobody would come in this room."Your dad was ready to allow it.""His friend owns the club," I mumbled dryly, the sound of the hitting echoing in the four walls."And he loves you," She pointed out, smashing the ball and before I could hit, it flew from my side. "And you lost a point.""Funny," Grumbling, I walked to one of the corners, picked the ball and started the game again. The sweat had started forming on the forehead, my grip on the handle of the bat was losing, my wrists were aching. What was
Always is not Forever 118. The One Where I Face It At Last
Yawning, I closed my books and stretched my legs. Getting up from the bed, I walked out of the room to find something to eat. Switching on the lights, I found a note stuck to the refrigerator.Food is in the microwave. You were sleeping. Must be hard practice 😝 Ps. Heat and eat.Chuckling at her handmade emoji, I crumbled the note and threw it in the dustbin before opening the microwave and found the plate in it. She never forgot about me. Twitching my lips, I brought the plate out and grabbed a spoon.Cold food was better than hot food and she wouldn't understand that.She wouldn't understand why I had gone straight to the bed after coming back from college, she wouldn't understand how much it was killing to know that how deep secrets we both were holding.Before I could take a spoon, the kitchen walls were invaded by the screams.Alina.Dropping the spoon, I sprinted to her room, opened the gate and saw her struggling in her bed. She hadn't gotten any dreams since she had started s
Always is not Forever 117. The One Where He Knows
"I still think you shouldn't go," Kabir's voice brought me back to present.Shaking my head, I tried to remove the memory. It was before I had started imagining him as Rishi, it was before when we were happy and there used to nothing other than nightmares to trouble our relationship.Now we had to be careful. This careful was getting on my nerves."It's fine," I stated, changing the song on the stereo of the car."Here." He passed me his phone, connected it to the black aux cable. "Listen any you want."Taking his phone, I went through the songs, ignoring the EDMs he loved to hear and settled on something soft to not make him hyper."Now, Dhruv and you. You're traveling too much.""I'm not. He needs me. He's all alone, handling Ria." I curled on the seat. "She's too small. She needs to see people love her despite her father leaving for jobs. And Dhruv deserves a break.""I get you're worried. We all are." He dabbed his palm on the horn. "But look at yourself. You're squeezing your sch
Always is not Forever 116. The One Where I Miss
[ A L I N A ' S P O V ]Gripping the pen tightly, I wrote down the explanation of the sonnet, completing the work that had been due last night. I blamed it on my over-worrying boyfriend who couldn't keep his mouth shut on why I was traveling this much. From past two months, I had been pacing back and forth between Bangalore and Delhi every weekend.He was getting angry.And I was getting pissed.Sighing, I placed the pen between the pages. Just two more lines, Alina and then you could go and shower to remove the aftermath of mediation and yoga."What you writing?" Hearing him, I levitated my head to stare at his face, but then, my gaze dropped to his chest.Where was his shirt? And why the hell wasn't I changing my gaze?Gulping, I paid attention to the white pages, overwritten by my hands. "Sonnet explanation. College work. You didn't go to GYM?""I'm taking a time off for a while," he answered, moving across the kitchen to grab a bowl for himself and picked the milk carton from m
Always is not Forever 115. The One Where Reality Is Out
***"You!" Shouting, I shut the door of her cabin. Jennifer looked up from the files. "In my cabin now."She raised her eyebrows in amusement and nodded. Who told her to tell lies to Alina? I got her teasing on me, I accepted it but feeding lies to her wasn't acceptable. I was an inch away from losing Alina again. Inch away to destroy all the progress we both had made after getting back together.Taking a deep breath, I entered my office and turned to face her. Yesterday, I had spent all my day to get new clothes before selling my old clothes and helping Alina with the packing.She was moving back with me. Good. I could see clearly how she was scared of me.Jennifer stepped in. "Now that's the Kabir I know. Angry and dominating one."Rolling my eyes, I nodded my head to the money placed on the table. "You're leaving India in next twenty-four hours. This is your pay. You're no longer my assistant.""I answer to your father, not to you." She crossed her arms over her chest. "He sent me.
Always is not Forever 114. The One Where The Past Begins
Staring ahead at the scene, I smiled and tapped my fingers on her arm. She turned with a smile and slipped her hand around my waist."I missed you.""You did?""Yup," She grinned. "Don't go again."Laughing lightly, I was about to reply when her figure disappeared from my arms and all I could see was the face of her house perched in front of me. What was I doing here? I was in our apartment, meeting her after a long time.A hand tugged on my shirt. Peering down, I stared at the girl."Kabir, save me." Confused by her statement, I wondered what she was talking about me. "Save me, Kabir," She cried, thumping her hand on my chest. "You promised you'll save me. Save me now."She took a run inside the house. Frowning a bit, I followed her inside, took the flight of stairs and entered the room I hadn't been into for past three years.Wasn't it burned? Wasn't it locked?My feet thumped on the old familiar room, looking for the small girl but, all I found was Alina standing at the corner, sta
Always is not Forever 113. The One Where We Solve
Presenting a smile, I stood up, took the clothes and strode to her bathroom. Shedding the rest of my clothes, I entered the shower and cleaned the disgusting things sticking to my body. When I checked for a shower gel and shampoo, I found the girly stuff and sighed. Looks like I would be smelling like her until the morning.As I was washing my hair, all the previous month we had spent together started biting my places. She was too distant from me. Her words seemed to be held and assessed carefully. Maybe moving in with me would change everything, maybe we would be different then, maybe we would back to our love life.But what about the insecurities? How would I solve them?"Kabir, are you done?" She knocked the door. "Was I too harsh? Is it not removing? Do you need my help?""Yes, it's not removing!" I shouted back, smirking. "Help me.""Tie a towel."Looking around the shower, I grabbed the towel from the upper shelve and tied it around my waist. "Done." My eyes remained glued to th
Always is not Forever 112. The One Where I Become A Joke
Alina's expression didn't change, her hands remained still at her side, her eyes narrowed at me."You're lying." Again, the same sentence. "She saw you without clothes.""I'm aware," I confessed. "Once she came in my penthouse. I was roaming in my briefs and she saw it." Seeing her expression, I added quickly, "I did yell at her for disturbing my privacy. I changed the code too. I didn't know she knew about it. She purchased the penthouse. I should've been aware.""But you kissed her." She clutched the arms of the chair tightly. And that was the reason I didn't want to tell her. "I can't stop imagining when you kissed her." She dragged a long, shaky breath before facing me, turmoil residing in her black eyes. "You wanted to forget me?" With reluctance, I nodded. "Was I that bad?""No, I just love you too much," I replied honestly. "Wouldn't you have done anything to forget me?""True." Standing on her toes, she trudged to my side, caught my face in her hands and inched it closer to he
