All Chapters of How to Avoid Death on a Daily Basis : Chapter 141 - Chapter 150

“Are you okay?” Jenny called down. No one rushed to check when I yelped. Why would they? It might be dangerous — they just offered their vague concern.“I’m fine.” I lit up a ball of light and looked around. I hadn’t done this before descending because I didn’t want to reveal what I could do in front of Terry; they were freaked out enough as it was. I could handle a few steps into the dark, it wasn’t like there was anything dangerous down here. Nothing except for tarantulorus rex.There was no sign of any spider, which meant it had either scuttled back into its hidey-hole or it was currently residing somewhere on me. After randomly brushing and flicking various parts of myself, and shuddering at the thought of what might be crawling around inside my shirt, I continued to the bottom of the stairs.Loran was lying on one of the tables, grey, pasty and corpse-like. Black gunk had congealed across his throat and pooled on the tabletop. It was a strange way to celebrate

“This is the man who will bring us the paradise we all dream of.” Dorma stretched out his hand to indicate the person behind him.I was also standing behind him. If I stepped forward, it would look like he meant me. I could draw everyone’s attention while Claire and Maurice snuck into the mansion. Everyone would think I was some kind of idiot (again), but I could do it.I could, but I wasn’t going to. No fucking way.Jenny nudged me in the back. I arched my shoulder blades to absorb the shove without moving.“Commander Varg!” Dorma introduced Varg to the crowd who broke into wild cheers. Varg stepped forward, arms raised.“You could have done it then,” said Claire under her breath as she applauded politely.“Yeah,” added Maurice, also clapping. For some reason they felt the need to act like they were supporting Varg’s appointment, even though it had nothing to do with us.“People of Meet,” boomed Varg, “war is come!” Cheers. “The fight f

I took the Codex from Flossie and inspected it more closely. As far as I could tell, it was made of wood, was very light and had a myriad of detailed carvings all over it. I brushed my fingertips across the surface looking for openings or switches. I found neither.Nothing about the box stood out as obviously alien or different to anything else in the room, but for some reason it moved around freely. I tried to turn it like a Rubik’s cube. Would have been cool if it was a puzzle that needed solving — twist up, across, down, down, cheat mode activated! — but sadly it seemed pretty solid with no moving parts except for one. I opened the lid.“How dare y—”  I snapped it shut on the voice mid-screech. Apparently, Yuqi wasn’t affected by the time freeze, either. But she wasn’t in control of the box. If only all conversations could be ended so easily.“Nearly there,” said Jenny. She’d managed to get her top half through the gap in the window David had slipped out of

General Dorma, leader of the city of Meet and its combined military forces, rubbed his hands with glee at the prospect of us leaving for the Masters’ mountaintop retreat. I don’t think the relish he displayed at our imminent departure was due to me and my motley crew, rather the fact that Phil and David would be accompanying us.Even though the two of them would be a great asset when it came to challenging the Masters, the more discrete and distant their achievement, the less likely they would become folk heroes and challenge Dorma in any popularity contest.And if they happened to perish while off fighting the Masters, so much the better. Sure, that would make it harder to defeat the Masters — maybe impossible — but a man like Dorma would gladly leave everyone neck-deep in shit rather than give up his place on the throne.I didn’t doubt Dorma meant to hold elections after victory had been achieved, and that those elections would be heavily rigged in his favour, bu

The wind roared and whistled in my ears.Falling from such a great height would almost certainly prove fatal. It wouldn’t be pleasant but it wouldn’t be the end, either. Just inconvenient to have to go back to square one and do it all over again. And there’d be Yuqi to deal with.Surviving the fall, however, would be infinitely worse. Lying there, back broken, limbs twisted in unnatural directions. Not good. I couldn’t heal myself if I couldn’t use my hands.As I fell, arms spread out and staring upwards, I saw Cheng hovering above me, framed against a white sky. It was definitely him, although he looked very different. Hitokag had told me Cheng had three forms. I’d only ever seen the demon and the boy, perhaps this was the other one.Four arms, wings like a moth, face like a diseased hippopotamus — I could see why he wouldn’t go out in it much.A grey streak smashed into Cheng, taking him across the sky at great speed before slowing down enough for m