All Chapters of How to Avoid Death on a Daily Basis : Chapter 121 - Chapter 130

As the portcullis went up, the lizardmen gathered behind us jostled for position. They had been told to allow us access to the city without their involvement, but what better time to invade Fengarad?Storming the city would be too tempting to resist with the gates wide open, and we’d be left as smears in the dirt as they trampled over us in a mad rush.Hitokag obviously knew what to expect from his ornery cousins. He grabbed the leader of the Vargau, who had been staring at the opening of the entrance while practically salivating, and spun him around to face his troops.Hitokag pressed his mouth against the side of the elderly Vargau’s head and I assume some harsh words were poured into whatever lizardmen had in place of ears. The Vargau raised his staff and ordered the excited rabble to back down, to which they responded by hurling abuse.I’m not sure if he would have been able to hold them off for very long, but it gave us enough time to duck under the sem

Biadet drove us back to the dragon. Mandy seemed downcast and defeated. She paid more attention to her cake than any of us.Watching her eat it while the carriage lurched from side to side was mesmerising. Just when you thought she was about to shove a slice into her ear, her head swung around exactly the right amount to deliver it into her mouth, whole. She didn’t offer anyone else a piece.Roona sat next to me and ‘accidentally’ pressed herself against my arm as the carriage bounced us around. Her constant gaze made me uncomfortable. She was sizing me up and probably trying to figure out why I was the guy in charge. And how to twist me round her finger.Jenny sat on my other side and seemed more interested in the view from the window and only glanced casually over when Roona grabbed my knee to steady herself, before returning her gaze to the view.The sight of the dragon took the focus off me. Both Roona and Mandy were gobsmacked.Roona hesitated cl

Jenny’s hand slipped out of mine as the wind sent everyone spinning.There was some screaming, which you might expect, but not from me, which you might not. I was too busy scanning the ocean for signs of my other self.I wasn’t sure what form of time travel this was, but possibly the me that saw us fall was down there watching. Or this could be a completely separate reality.What would happen if we met up? Would the universe implode?Or did the fact we didn’t meet last time mean we wouldn’t meet this time either?Time travel is nothing but a big headache if you try to figure it out from a scientific point of view. This, however, was a world where magic existed. That didn’t make it any easier to understand.In any case, I was unable to see a tiny head bobbing in the water. Within a few seconds I was unable to see much of anything. The wind had picked up and the air had turned into a blurred wall that couldn’t be seen past.We were flung i

Uncle Stan tasted delicious. Terry didn’t look too happy as we scarfed down the meat, even though we did share it with her and the boys. Not my idea — the girls had undergone some kind of reverse Stockholm Syndrome.They served our prisoners first, made sure the children got the best cuts and generally undermined any attempt to intimidate the captives.You will answer my questions or suffer my wrath. More gravy?“That was supposed to last us for the rest of the month,” said Terry as she munched through a large mouthful of succulent, albeit stringy goat.“Where do you get your food from?” asked Maurice as he picked his plate clean. “I didn’t see any other animals. Is there a town nearby?”“Yes.” She stared at the white bone which was all that was left of her Uncle. “It’s about an hour’s walk from here. But we don’t buy our food from there. Uncle Stan was the last of our goats. He was the boys’ favourite.” She looked over at her boys stuffing their face

The box flying towards us was very high and bobbed through the air as the wings flapped up and down.“What is it?” I asked Loran.He shook his head sorrowfully. “A palace transport. They usually send them out to gather the summoned. It is considered a great honour to be sent for in such a manner.”“Should we make a run for it?” asked Maurice. “If it’s just a big box, maybe we can give it the slip.”I wasn’t sure there was much chance of that. The surrounding area was mostly flat grassland. There wasn’t really any cover and we wouldn’t be moving very fast.I hooded my eyes with a hand and tried to figure how it worked. Perhaps it was being carried by a large bird we couldn’t see because of the angle.“There’s got to be some troops or something inside, right?” I said.“Most likely the Palace Guard,” said Loran. “ They are vicious beasts with low intelligence and large teeth. I wouldn’t recommend fighting them.”“What should we do?”