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Freedom
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2022-03-28 09:37:43Jacob pushed through the doors of the long-term ward at West Valley Medical center. Seth was in the back corner of a communal room with a curtain pulled around his bed, creating a private space roughly the size of Jacob’s bedroom at home. Not at home. He couldn’t go back there. He didn’t have a home anymore. He had slept in Seth’s bed, at Seth’s house, for the last few nights.
Seth had been moved to the long-term ward after twenty-four hours of observation for complications of his surgery.
Seth lay on the hospital bed, as still as the dead except for the slow rise and fall of his chest. He wore a mask with tubes connected to a beeping tower of computers. Sensor wires sprouted from a mesh cap pulled down over Seth’s trademark curls and connected to another computer. On the monitor, several lines ticked zigzags across the
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The gym was cacophonous as the team trotted to the court for the first huddle. The announcer called the names for the starting line-up for Preston over the noise of the crowd, while James gave last moment notes to the team.“Remember, Jacob will be on the weak side. I will dribble for a pick and roll. Charlie, I want you under the strong-side basket. If Jacob is blocked, I’ll pass to you for a jump shot. If I can’t get it to either of you, Bret will be in the paint, and we’ll relay the ball to one of you.”With a shout of “Forge!” the team broke off and lined up for the announcer’s call.On the court, Charlie stood in the center facing Preston’s number fourteen, a seven foot tall slender kid, named Chet Harper. The referee blew the whistle, and both C
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Jacob rolled over and fumbled with his phone to stop the blaring alarm. It was in the wrong place. The table beside his bed was too low. As the fog of sleep faded, he remembered why. This wasn’t his room, or side table, or bed. This was Seth’s room. Jacob grabbed Seth’s pillow and pulled it over his face, inhaling Seth’s familiar and calming scent. He ached to be able to roll over and bury his face in Seth’s curls. It was Saturday, but he was up early because it was game day two of the state championships. They had not gone out to celebrate their win versus Preston last night. One win was pointless if they couldn’t win them all. They had agreed as a team to save their celebrations for when they won the final game.Today, they were playing the Century Diamondbacks from Pocatello. They were a good team. They even had one player scouted to the University of Kentucky a couple of years back. Jacob heard that that player was already being courted by the NBA. Century didn’t have that playe
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Jacob knew they were in trouble as soon as the two teams circled up on the court. There wasn’t a single player on the Hillcrest team shorter than Derek, Forge’s tallest player. They were outfitted to win. Hillcrest attracted players who were planning to go professional, and they looked the part.Derek stood in the center circle for the tipoff, dwarfed by the opposing Center. The dude had to be at least seven feet tall. The ref tossed the ball. Derek jumped, but the other center’s height was too much of an advantage. Hillcrest’s center, number seventeen, tapped the ball to his teammates, and they dribbled down the court. Blocking such tall players proved challenging as well. They made every pass and shot they took. Forge depended on rebounds to get possession of the ball. Sweat poured down Jacob’s face. Luckily, Forge used Hillcrest’s height against them on offense. Jacob remembered the low passes that short players on other teams had used to evade his block, and he made liberal use
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Jacob couldn’t believe it. He grasped Seth’s hand as the nurses checked his vitals and wrote things on charts. Seth’s gaze darted around wildly, but always came back to Jacob. The feeding tube down his throat prevented him from speaking, but he occasionally made scared sounds that sounded to Jacob almost like a whimper. “It’s okay,” Jacob kept saying. “You’re okay now.” He was overwhelmed with joy that Seth was awake, but his heart ached that there was nothing he could do to make this easier for Seth. Nurses ran in and out of the room, bringing new equipment. The instruments on the cart beside Seth’s bed had calmed down to a steady rhythm of beeps. Seth’s doctor came in. He checked the monitors, then turned to Seth. “It’s good to see you finally with us, son,” he said. “I’m going to take the tube from your throat now, if that’s alright.” He gently lifted the mask from Seth’s face. Seth squeezed Jacob’s hand. “I need you to continue to breathe slowly and evenly. Breath with the
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“Come on! If we get going now, we will get in before midnight!” Seth called from outside.Jacob shouldered his way through the front door with the last box of his belongings. “You know we’ll end up hitting traffic, anyway. The maps don’t tell you about traffic that doesn’t exist yet.” “All the more reason to get going,” Seth said as he shoved a box over to make room for Jacob’s last contribution. Jacob pushed his box into the tetris of luggage that was held in place by sheer luck. They forced the hatchback closed together, grunting in unison with one last push to get it to latch. They had bought it together a week ago; their first purchase together, though it was in Jacob’s name since Seth didn’t have a license. Having completed their packing, they leaned against the back window to catch their breath. This was it. Everything was done.Two weeks ago, Jacob had walked across the auditorium stage for the first and last time, collecting his diploma before taking a seat among the gradua
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Feminine moans of pleasure crashed into the silence of Jacob’s room. He sprang forward to mute his computer audio. Hopefully, no one had heard. The naked woman looked longingly out of the screen at Jacob as she touched herself. He felt nothing. He almost felt sorry for her efforts, but he knew she either enjoyed what she was doing or she was payed for it, or both. He closed the video and loaded another from the same site. This time, it was a couple engaging in play. The man began jerking himself off as he waited for the woman to get into position. Jacob felt the stirrings of arousal. Fuck, Jacob thought. Failure. Again. He closed the last window and stared at his computer desktop in frustration. He was sure he could suppress those feelings this time. He had done everything he knew how. He had done his best to connect feelings of arousal inspired by other men to painful things or unpleasant things. He had tried inflicting physical pain when it happened. He had tried immediately fillin
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“Shut up!” Jacob felt his knuckle meet lip and teeth. His hand came away bloody before he knew what happened. “Fuck! What the fuck, man?” Seth steadied himself against the wall and flashed a glare up at Jacob. He touched his lip with his hand and looked discouraged at the blood he saw on his fingers. “Jesus, it’s not like I told anyone. Damn. Thanks for confirming, though.” He sucked on his split lip and tried to look for somewhere to wipe his hand other than his shirt. “Shit!” Jacob slammed the wall next to Seth. He glanced around to check for witnesses. No one had seemed to notice. “God. Dammit, dude... Sorry... I mean...” Jacob hurried into the store and grabbed a few napkins, muttering a thank you to Carl without looking up. He brought them back to Seth, who gladly accepted them and wiped his face and hands. His lip still bled, so he pressed the napkin to it. “Dude, I’m sorry... I haven’t punched anyone like that before. That wasn’t cool. Fuck.” “I don’t accept.” Seth spat blood
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Jacob couldn’t believe it. He grasped Seth’s hand as the nurses checked his vitals and wrote things on charts. Seth’s gaze darted around wildly, but always came back to Jacob. The feeding tube down his throat prevented him from speaking, but he occasionally made scared sounds that sounded to Jacob almost like a whimper. “It’s okay,” Jacob kept saying. “You’re okay now.” He was overwhelmed with joy that Seth was awake, but his heart ached that there was nothing he could do to make this easier for Seth. Nurses ran in and out of the room, bringing new equipment. The instruments on the cart beside Seth’s bed had calmed down to a steady rhythm of beeps. Seth’s doctor came in. He checked the monitors, then turned to Seth. “It’s good to see you finally with us, son,” he said. “I’m going to take the tube from your throat now, if that’s alright.” He gently lifted the mask from Seth’s face. Seth squeezed Jacob’s hand. “I need you to continue to breathe slowly and evenly. Breath with the
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Beep.Beep.Beep.The rise and fall of the electrocardiogram signaled Seth’s beating heart.Jacob and Mark sat in silence on opposite sides of the bed. Both watched Seth’s peaceful face as his chest slowly rose and fell with each breath.Beep.Beep.Beep.Jacob’s own heart beat in double time. He wanted to say something. He wanted to apologize again, but Mark wouldn’t hear it. Mark had already told him more than once that it wasn’t his fault; that he had nothing to apologize for, but Jacob still couldn’t make himself believe it. The only reason Seth
