5 - Crazy

REID SIERRA

After meeting that girl on the dangwa market, I brought her to my house to confront Luxury, saying that she's not my mistress or what. I don't know her. I don't even know her name!

But that didn't convince Luxury, I know I hurt her. But she was too hurt for her not to believe in me. Akala ko ba mahal niya ako? We've been in a ten-year relationship, and yet, hindi niya ako pinapaniwalaan?

Gusto kong habulin si Luxury, pero hindi ko na magawang hakbangin ang mga paa dahil sa sobrang layo na ng kanilang sasakyan.

Hindi ko pa sana gustong tumayo nang maglakad ang babae palayo sa mansion. Naglakad ito papuntang gate, sobrang init!

"Miss, I said, Hop in! I'll bring you back to your store." I said with no emotion.

Pero nagpatuloy lang ito sa paglalakad hanggang sa makalabas na kami ng property ko, nagpalinga-linga ito pero walang dumadaang taxi dito, because this place is exclusively for Sierra only. Nasa kabila lang ang mansion ni Yasmir, Eros, and Ethan.

Pwede nga sanang iisang lupa nalang, but they don't want to make it a compound. Ang arte. Malaki pa ang bakanteng lupa dito, if my cousins and brothers have their own families, they will build their own mansions too. Gusto nilang magkakasama parin kami. Hindi ba sila nasawa sa mga pagmumukha ng isa't-isa?

Bumaba ako ng sasakyan para hagitin siya matapos niyang kausapin kung sino ang kausap niya sa cellphone. Nagulat ako na tumutulo ang luha nito.

She's too thin, weak, and fragile.

"I need to see my father," was the last thing she uttered before she lost her consciousness.

Ilang beses akong napamura dahil sa katigasan ng ulo niya! Sobrang init pero naglalakad lang siya at ayaw pang sumakay sa sasakyan ko, hinihintay niya pa talagang mahimatay siya! Damn this girl!

Mas lalong nag-iinit ang dugo ko sa kanya.

Hindi ko naman kayang iwanan ito dito sa daan kaya bumalik kami sa loob ng mansion ko at dinala ko siya sa kwarto ko. I don't want her to lay down on Luxury's bed. I want to maintain my girlfriend's scent on her bed.

As I escorted her to my room, enveloped in the moment, the air seemed to carry her captivating and sweet scent, reminiscent of blooming roses. Each step closer intensified the fragrance, weaving a delicate and enchanting aura around us. The scent lingered, leaving an indelible impression, filling the space with an irresistible allure that stirred the senses and heightened the intimacy of the moment.

I lay her down on my bed, and as I look at her face, I realize that she's beautiful. Hindi ko alam kung namamalik mata ba ako, but somehow kahawig niya si Luxury.

She had mesmerizing pitch-black almond-shaped eyes, complemented by slender yet perfectly shaped eyebrows. Her lashes were thick but not overly long, framing her eyes beautifully. A flawless, pointed nose sat elegantly on her face, while rosy cheeks added a touch of warmth. Her thin and rosy, formed a perfect contrast against her small, heart-shaped face, completing her striking and captivating appearance.

She had a slender and delicate body, with a complexion as fair as snow. Her graceful figure seemed almost fragile, yet it carried an undeniable beauty. Against her pale skin, every contour stood out, giving her an ethereal presence.

As a rush of emotions flooded through me, I found myself instinctively averting my gaze, seeking refuge in the distant corners of the room. The intensity of what I felt, the whirlwind of conflicting.

But I looked at her once again as she murmured something. I couldn't understand what is she's saying, reason for me to lean towards her. But she stopped.

My brows furrowed in contemplation as I found myself staring at her, my gaze eventually lowering to her lips.

Unintentionally, I leaned in and kissed her. Her lips were soft and carried a faint sweetness, perhaps from the lip tint she wore.

A soft moan escaped her, jolting me back to reality as I quickly withdrew. It was in that moment of retreat that the gravity of my actions hit me like a ton of bricks.

Damn it. I had just cheated on Luxury! This time, there was no denying it. Anger, frustration, and guilt churned within me as I stormed out of the room, leaving the girl behind in my wake, grappling with the consequences of my betrayal.

Pagkababa ko ay tinawag ko kaagad si Yasmir to check on her.

"Come to my house, immediately." Utos ko sa kanya. Napaungol naman ito sa inis.

"I'm playing with my children, Reid! Ano na naman ba ito?" Inis niyang sabi, pero kaagad itong tumawa nang marinig namin ang hagikgik ni Hope.

"There's a woman in here who collapsed. Lumakad sa init ng panahon." Tipid kong sabi. "Naka leave nga ako sa trabaho pero hindi sa inyo! Kaasar!" Sigaw pa nito.

"Papa, are you mad?" I heard Hari's voice from the background, which made me smile.

"No, no. Do you want to visit your Tito Reid?" Nawala ang ngiti ko sa sinabi ni Yasmir sa mga anak niya. Wala ako sa mood, makipaglaro sa mga pamangkin ko!

Ilang sandali lang ay nakarinig ako ng sigawan at tilian ng mga bata papasok sa mansion ko.

"Tito Reid!" Sigaw ni Hari at tumakbo ito papalapit saakin.

Kaagad ko itong sinalubong ng yakap, ganon din ang apat pang maliliit na bulilit. Harvey and Haniel can run fast, at nahuhuli namang tumakbo si Hope, habang nakakahabol naman sina Haniel si Henry. Two-year-old palang sila at magte-three na ang tatlo this year, habang kaka three lang ni Haniel.

"Who's girl ba?" Kumunot naman ang noo dahil mukhang nahawa na si Yasmir sa kaka conyo ni Nadine.

"The one who ruined my wedding." Inis kong sabi. Napataas naman ito ng kilay, pero kaagad ding nagtanong.

"Nasaan?" Ngumuso ako sa itaas, "kwarto ko." Sagot ko. Kaagad naman itong umakyat dala ang medical kit niya at iniwan saakin ang mga bata.

"Wait there, kids, I'll go follow your papa." Nakangiting sabi ko sa kanila. Sumenyas ako sa mga kasambahay na aliwin muna nila ang mga anak ni Yasmir habang pinuntahan ko ang pinsan ko.

Naabutan ko siyang chini-check ang vitals ng babae. Damn. What's her name again?

"She's fine, just stressed and dehydrated. How did she end up here?" he asked, his voice tinged with concern as he deftly prepared the IV fluid to inject into her. His hands moved with practiced precision, but his eyes kept flicking back to her pale face, trying to piece together the story that had brought her to this state.

"Did something happen to her? Was she out in the sun too long or not eating properly?" He continued his work, but his mind was racing, searching for answers to the questions that her condition posed.

"I brought her, to explain to Luxury that I wasn't cheating on her. I don't even know this girl." Sabi ko, napatingin naman ito saakin.

"Then where did you see her?" Takang tanong niya.

"Dangwa. Riley asked me to pick up the flowers, and fortunately, sa store niya bumili si Zoe. And I happened to recognize her." I gritted my teeth as I remembered every detail of what happened at my wedding a month ago.

"But," napatitig ako sa babae, ramdam ko namang napatingin saakin si Yasmir. "I just kissed her earlier." Pag-amin ko. "I cheated on Luxury this time, right? As soon as I kissed her, it was considered a cheat, right?" I asked Yasmir. Hindi ito makapaniwala sa sinabi ko.

"Yes, but you two already broke up, so it's a no?" Galit ko namang tinignan si Yasmir.

"Hindi pa kami naghiwalay!" Sabi ko sa kanya. Tumawa naman ito ng marahan.

"Bud, Luxury left you; it's considered that you two have already broken up." Inirapan ko siya parang hindi siya ganon noong iniwan siya ni Hira.

"I can't resist myself, Mir. Kaya ko siya n*******n. There's something in me that wants her more, or what. Am I crazy?" Tanong ko tila litong-lito na sa nararamdaman ko.

Oo mahal ko si Luxury, pero hindi ko mapigilan itong nararamdaman ko para sa babaeng ito.

"If it's desires, Reid. Better layuan mo na siya kung gusto mong magkabalikan kayo ni Luxury." Seryosong sabi ni Yasmir.

"I don't want you to regret tulad sakin." Tinapik niya ako sa balikat.

"But she looks somehow familiar, though." Napatingin ako kay Yasmir hawak ang baba at tila inaalala kung saan niya nakita ang babae.

"Ah, at the hospital! The day you fell down. Siya iyong tumawag saakin ng tulong." Sa sinabi ni Yasmir, ay kaagad akong napatingin sa babae.

"She kissed me!" Bulas ko nang maalala ko ang halik na iyon. Tumaas naman ang kilay ni Yasmir.

"Kayo ata ang para sa isa't-isa!" Natatawang sabi ni Yasmir.

"No! We're not!" Inis kong sabi sa kanya, pero hindi mawala ang pilyong ngiti sa kanyang labi, kaya mas lalo akong nainis sa kanya.

"Okay, sabi mo e." He's still smiling, like he already knows how things between me and that girl will end up.

No. Hindi ako papayag.

***

Gabi na, pero hindi parin siya nagigising, kaya nagpahanda ako ng pagkain para sa kanya. Dinala ko iyon sa kwarto ko, pero pagbukas ko ay siyang pag-atras niya.

I saw how the blood from her hand dripped all over my floor. Kaagad kong pinatong ang food tray sa drawer na katabi ng pintuan.

Nanlalaban ito at gustong makita ang ama niya hanggang sa tumulo ang luha niya. Parang winasak ang puso ko nang makita ko siyang umiyak.

Fuck. I'm too soft at madali lang maawa! Hindi naman ako kasing lamig ni Ethan para hindi makaramdam ng awa kahit na galit na galit ako sa kanya sa pagsira ng kasal ko!

Nagpatuloy ito sa paglalakad pababa na kaagad kong sinundan at hinila para makapasok sa sasakyan. Noong una ay ayaw pa nitong pumasok, pero pumasok narin naman ito.

Napatingin ako sa kanya ng hindi man lang kinakabit ang seatbelt. Aligaga itong kaka dial sa number ng hindi ko kilala.

Tinuon ko nalang ang pansin sa daan, balisa parin ito hanggang sa may nakausap na ito sa kabilang linya.

Hanggang sa may biglang sumingit na motor sa harapan namin dahilan para makapreno ako ng malakas, but her safety is my priority. Kaagad kong hinarang ang braso ko sa katawan niya, but fuck. I can feel her soft, big breasts against my arms.

"Fuck." Napamura ako hindi dahil sa biglaang pagsingit ng motor kung hindi dahil sa nararamdaman ko.

Lalaki din naman ako! Tsk. At twenty eight years old nang virgin, kaya hindi ko mapigilan makaramdam ng ganito. Shit!

Galit ko siyang hinarap at nilapitan. Napasandal naman siya, pero mas tinuon ko ang seatbelt niya para ikabit sa kanya dahil kung hindi at baka may mangyari ulit e hindi ko na mapigilan ang sarili ko!

I brought her foods dahil tingin ko hindi pa ito nagtatanghalian dahil kaagad ko siyang hinila papuntang bahay ko, at alam kong hindi ito naghapunan dahil iniwan lang namin at pagkaing inihanda sa kanya sa kwarto ko.

"You need to eat, miss,"  I said, a bit worried. Pero hindi niya ako pinansin, kaya hinayaan ko nalang. Muli akong nagdrive at minsang napapantingin sa kanya, nahuli naman ng mga mata ko ang ang reflection niya sa bintana ang pagtulo ng luha niya.

"My father's dead. Tapos tanong mo kung may mangyayari ba kung nandoon lang sana ako?" She asked, There's a sorrow and resentment in her voice, that breaks my heart.

She chuckled bitterly, "If encountering you again is destined to bring me more misfortune, then perhaps it's best if our paths never cross again."

Humigpit ang pagkakahawak ko sa manibela ng sasakyan ko. Bakit parang kasalanan ko pa kung bakit namatay ang papa niya?! Bakit pinagmumukha niya saakin na kasalanan ko ang lahat ng nangyayari sa kanya?! Hindi ba't siya itong sumira sa kasal ko at kinuha ko lang naman siya para iamin kay Luxury na hindi totoo ang sinabi niya?!

Instead, na maaya ako sa kanya, mas lalo lang kumulo ang dugo ko para sa kanya.

Pagkadating namin sa ospital ay kaagad itong tumakbo paloob. Aalis na sana ako pero hindi ko mapigilang hindi makuryos kaya sinundan ko siya.

I saw her running towards somewhere, and it led me to the morgue. Naitukod niya ang kamay niya sa dingding para makabalanse, pero ilang sandali lang ay napaupo ito. Nagsalita ang isang babae na tingin ko ay nasa twenties or what.

I was too far to hear their chats, but after that, bigla siyang tumayo at nagtagpo ang mga mata namin, pero kaagad siyang umalis habang natingin sa kanyang cellphone.

I immediately left the scene since I have no connection with her. I don't want to involve myself more to her.

***

I was scanning and reviewing the documents when someone knocked at my office door. Napabaling ako doon at nang bumukas ito ay mukha kaagad ni Yuri ang bumungad saakin.

Napairap ako at tinuon sa mga tambak na documents sa harap ko.

"Bar." Tipid na sabi nito at umupo sa sofa ko.

"Busy." Tipid ko ding sagot. At napatingin sa computer, nang may email akong natanggap.

"Com'on, treat nila George. With girls." Kumunot ang noo ko sa sinabi niya.

Alam niyang hindi ko ugali ang mag bar lalo na pag may babae ang usapan. He knows how loyal and faithful I am to Luxury.

"Com'on, Reid. Kakauwi lang ni Jasrel. Nag-ayang mag-inuman."

"Pass." I insisted on staying tonight in my office because almost a month din akong absent gawa ng nasirang kasal ko.

I need time to recover from that event. And since Luxury really left me, hindi ko na siya kailanman nakausap. Pagkakaalam ko e bumalik ito ng New York, to do runways again.

Wala na ba talaga kaming pag-asa?

***

Namalayan ko nalang na hila-hila ako ni Yuri papasok sa isang bar na hindi naman pamilyar saakin.

Maingay at maraming tao. Mabuti nalang ay may VIP room ang bar, kaya doon kami nagtungo. Pagpasok palang namin ay may kalampungan na sila Ivan at George.

"Gosh, get a room!" Singhal sa kanila ni Yuri, pero tinawanan lang siya nila George at Ivan.

Sarap na sarap ang dalawa sa pagpe-pleasure na ginawa ng dalawang babae sa kanila. Kumakawala pa ng ungol ang dalawang lalaki.

"Nandito lang ata tayo para maging viewer ng dalawa!" Natatawang sabi ni Collins. Napailing nalang si Isaac habang busy sa cellphone niya.

"Oh? Where's Jasrel? Akala ko ba siya ang host. Bakit wala dito?" Tanong ni Yuri at nagsalin ng alak.

I crossed my arms and legs and boringly looked at them. "I should've done my paperwork rather than being here," I said in my bored voice as I grabbed the glass of rum. Tumawa naman silang anim sa sinabi ko.

"You should enjoy your single life, Reid. Sa wakas after ten years. Nakalaya ka na din." Natatawang sabi ni George. Binato ko naman siya ng takip ng alak at sapul naman ito sa kanyang noo.

Magrereklamo pa sana ito nang biglang bumukas ang pintuan at pumasok si Jasrel na kasama ang babaeng nakasuot ng damit na kagaya sa mga kalampungan nila George at Ivan.

I stared at them with my bored stares. Jasrel introduced the girl to us, her name is Lily. As she turned to my side, kumunot ang noo ko nang pamilyar siya saakin.

"What are you doing here?" I asked furiously. Ha, sa daming lugar at oras, ngayon at dito pa talaga.

"Ikaw na naman?" Inis niyang sabi. Wow, siya pa talaga may ganang mainis.

My unexplainable feelings for her grew, as I saw her wearing a revealing dress that could show her cleavage and reveal her thighs.

Desires? Do I really have a desire for her? Damn. This is so bad. Why have I gotten myself involved in this?

My friends are teasing me with her. Pero iniwasan ko lang lahat ng mga kalokohan nila. Hanggang sa may binulong si Jasrel kay Lily. Kumunot naman ang noo ko nang makita kong tumagilid ang mukha ni Jasrel kay Lily, kaya kaagad akong napatayo at hinila palayo si Lily sa kaniya.

Lumabas kami ng kwartong iyon at rinig ko pa ang cheers at kantyaw nilang lahat. Fuck.

"Ano ba, Reid! Nasasaktan ako!" I know she's fragile and such, but I didn't let her hand go until we turned and leaned her back against the walls.

I was filled with anger and frustration as I saw Jasrel kiss her. I pressed my thumb against her lips to brush Jasrel's saliva away from her lips.

Fuck. Hindi ko alam, pero nagseselos ako! Gusto kong ako lang ang humahalik sa kanya. Fuck!

With my frustration intertwined with my desires and longing, I kissed her lips once again. The moment our lips touched, I felt an electric shock surge through my body, a sensation so intense it made my heart race. In just a few seconds, she responded to my kiss, her lips moving against mine in a way that sent shivers down my spine. Damn. How can she be so good? Is she really this amazing, or is it just my overwhelming desire for her that's making me feel this way? Is it my passion clouding my judgment, or is she truly as incredible as she seems?

This is really bad. Because this is so addicting.

"Just kiss me and no one else," I murmured. We're both panting and gasping for air. Argh.

"Fuck." I whispered as I was getting an erection. Lumayo ako sa kanya para pigilan ko ang nararamdaman ko. Ilang beses akong napamura sa isip ko nang makita ko ang pagkalito sa kanyang mukha.

Without a word, I left her hanging.

This is bad. Nagiging baliw na ako sa kanya. And I don't want this feeling.

"Fuck!" Sigaw ko at sinipa ko ang gulong ng sasakyan ni Yuri sa inis at galit na nararamdaman ko.

Kumuha ako ng pakete ng sigarilyo at humithit para mawala ang inis na nararamdaman. Pero kahit anong pagpapakalmang ginagawa ko sa sarili ko ay hindi ko maiwasang hindi siya maisip.

How am I supposed to win Luxury's heart when I am overwhelmed by these unexplainable feelings that leave me confused and make me lose my sanity towards Lily?

Every time I think about Luxury, I am filled with a longing and desire to be with her, to win her affection and love. But then, there's Lily. She stirs something deep inside me, a powerful and almost maddening attraction that I can't seem to control.

This whirlwind of emotions is tearing me apart, making it hard to focus on what I truly want. How can I pursue Luxury with a clear mind when Lily's presence makes me question everything, leaving me in a state of turmoil and confusion?