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Chapter 39 - Face your fears
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2024-10-29 19:42:56“Did I mention I’m terrified of heights?” I say to Leo who is hanging next to me in a harness next to me. Zach had the awesome idea to go parasailing. And let’s just say I’m not excited at all, as a matter of fact I’m terrified. The idea of hanging in the air, the ocean below us and with a boat pulling us at high speed feels like the fasted way to die.
Zach was my favorite person this whole weekend but right now he’s number one my got to kill list. When he declared we have one last activity to do today before we have to head back home I didn’t imagine he meant this. He did so well with the UTV tour but this is a miss.
“ You did mention it a few times.” Leo says looking at me. He convinced me to do this. I was going to sit this one out but he gave me some speech about avoiding regret and facing my fears; I know now that it was a loud of crap. I can’t believe I fell for it, I’m regretting saying yes.
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The boy I should not love Chapter 40 - Meet the parents
We get home around 5 pm. We dropped Lana off first and then now Zach and Leo are dropping me off. Leo pulls into my drive way and parks the car. The front door opens and my father walks out. My mother follows shortly after. We get out of the car and greet them, Leo shakes my father’s hand and then he moves to the boot to take out my bags. Zach goes with him and they help each other out.“How was the trip?” My dad asks me but he’s looking at Leo. They walk back to where I’m standing with my parents. I’m nervous about Leo meeting my parents“It was incredible.” Zach and Leo say at the same time.“Good. Well we’re happy you got home safely.” Dad says looking at me but that doesn’t last, his eyes move back to Leo. Why is he acting like this? He usually doesn’t give this much attention to boys I bring around the house. He didn’t give Zach a second the first, second
The boy I should not love Chapter 41 - A line has been drawn
“How are you this glorious Monday morning?” Zach says walking toward me in the school corridor. He looks so happy, I know he’s an all round happy guy but he looks particularly joyful today. Or maybe I’m the happy one and I’m seeing happiness where there isn’t. I smile at him to show him that I’m having a pretty good morning too.“I’m doing well this morning thank you for asking.” I say and we start walking to homeroom.“Where’s Leo?” He asks noticing he didn’t come in with me this morning.“He texted me...” I start to explain to him when Amara comes walking our way full speed.“Well if it isn’t the fake little Miss Golden and her minion… uhm… what’s your name again?” She says standing in our way. The whole corridor falls silent and they watch what is about to go down. Some of them take out their phones and start to re
The boy I should not love Chapter 42 - Through the Turmoil
I sit at the kitchen island staring at her. I can’t believe she’s here, I look at her trying to figure out if I’m dreaming. Or if I’m dead and this is my hell; all of my demons are haunting me. “I know this is a lot but I was hoping that we could talk. You know try to figure out a way forward.” My mother says moving to sit next on the chair next to me. I look at her my heart in my throat; I wasn’t prepared to see her.I guess I had made peace with the fact that I would never see her again. I had convinced myself that she was dead. How could I think otherwise? She left her three children to fend for themselves without any thought. In my mind no sane, normal and human being would do that their children. She left us alone, three kids under the age of 18. We should be dead; it’s a miracle that we’re all still breathing.“How did you find us?” I ask when my brain starts working
The boy I should not love Chapter 43 - Curve ball
Zach“Where is my brother?” Mina asks looking at me her little face wrinkled with worry. I can’t get over the fear I saw on her face when I showed up to pick them up instead of their brother. She looked like she saw a ghost, my heart broke for her but I’m all she’s got today. When Jon saw her face he started crying, I had to think quickly and calm him down.Mina did a good job of helping me calm him down. She switched so quickly from being worried to comforting Jon. She’s so young but she has such grown up reactions to stressful situations. I get that it’s because of how they are growing up but it’s unfair that they have to go through this. Every kid deserves to be just that, a child.I hate that Leo is hurting this much. I didn’t tell Golden but I saw Leo’s mom leave his apartment when we got there earlier. I recognized her from when we were young, it took everything I not to fre
The boy I should not love Chapter 44 - What now?
“Why didn’t you come to pick us up at school today?” Mina asks me when I take her out of the bath tub and dry her off. I do the same with Jon and then look at her, She looks so worried and concerned. She’s too young to have that look on her face.“I… had to do something very urgent, so I asked Zach to pick you up instead.” I say and she pouts at me.“I thought something bad happened to you.” She says her eyes welling up a little. I look at her and my heart breaks. She must have been so worried when I didn’t show up. I sometimes forget how much they war used to our routine. One change like today and that fragile safety I created for them is shuttered.“I’m sorry you got scared, I really wanted to come and pick you up but I couldn’t make it. It won’t happen again.” I say and watch tears fall down her face. Seeing her cry makes me sad because I didn’t mean t
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The boy I should not love Chapter 46 - Threats
This week has been a week from hell; I dragged myself through school and work. Everything is draining; I’m putting so much effort to do things that didn’t faze me before. I thought I would be over the feeling I had on Sunday by now but I can’t seem to shake it off. I feel lost, like I don’t know who I amI am so angry; I have all these negative emotions coursing through my body. I’m over it. I want to dispel all of it now. I feel like the anger is dragging me back.“Hey Leo, can you please clear out the empty out the cardboard boxes in aisle 27?”Mr. Brown says to me from across a meat fridge.“Sure.” I say and finish off packing the last of the meat trays I have in the trolley. Mr. Brown stands there looking at me, he wants to talk to me about the incident with my mother but I don’t want to. He tried to ask me about it on Monday and I told him I’m not interested in talking about her.I can&
The boy I should not love Chapter 47 - Secrets
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The boy I should not love Chapter 61- Date night
“Thank you for taking me out tonight.” Golden says smiling at me; she looks so good tonight I can’t stop staring at her. My eyes keep going from her smile, to her eyes and then down to her boobs. I’m grateful we have this table between us because I don’t think I would have been able to keeps my hands to myself.I keep catching myself staring at one or the other. It’s so hard for me to keep up with the conversation because my brain keeps creating images of us that are not appropriate. Well they are not inappropriate really but they are forbidden.I promised myself I would keep my hands off of her but she’s making it impossible in that dress. She looks incredible.“It’s my absolute pleasure.” I say and she smiles that sexy smile again. She takes a sip of her water radiating sexual tension and passion.“You’re taking all the pleasure don’t I get
The boy I should not love Chapter 60 - Content
“Please come in.” Golden’s father says opening the door for me to get in. We shake hands as I walk in. He smiles welcoming me in. this is the first time I’ve come to Golden’s house in official girlfriend capacity.So I’m nervous, usually I have Mina and Jon as my buffer but today I am riding solo.“Thank you, how are you?” I ask him when he closes the door behind us.“I’m well and how are you?” He asks smiling at me. We walk to the living area and sit on the sofa.“I’m good.” I say smiling at him too. He sits back comfortably looking at me closely.“Golden will be down soon.” He says after a moment of silence. The mood is different, it’s not awkward but it’s so much more silent I guess.“No problem.” I say willing myself to be calmer. I don’t want to bring weird energy into the air. This is Golden’s father not a
The boy I should not love Chapter 59 - Green
“Do you want to talk about it?” Zach asks looking at me cautiously. I look from him to Leo who is also looking at me with concern. Its lunch break and we’re sitting on my picnic blanket on the soccer field. Our favorite spot, we come here all the time now. I know we’re going to miss these chilled out sessions when school is over.I mistakenly texted Leo about my run in with Cole and he told Zach of ‘course and now the two of them are concerned that I have suppressed feeling about my ex screaming at me in public. I want to put it behind me, move on with my life. But they think it’s good for me to talk about.I don’t want to for two reasons, the first being Leo and I are together and I hate talking about my ex with him. And two, I’m over all of it.“I’m worried you might have an outburst if you don’t let your feelings out.” Le says and I roll my eyes at him. He laughs when he sees me do it.
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The boy I should not love Chapter 57 - Heart to Heart
“Hi, honey.” My mother says as I walk through the door. She’s looking at me with a strange look on her face. I smile at her and she smiles too but she’s still staring at me. She’s looking at me like I’m some stranger or like I’m different. I stop for a moment looking at her. “Hi.” I say walking to the living room where she’s sitting comfortably under a blanket. The house so much warmer than the outside, the weather hasn’t improved since this morning. In fact it’s gotten worse throughout the day; winter is really here. I sit next to her feeling warm and happy; despite the weather outside. I’m still feeling god about what happened with Leo this afternoon.My body feels relaxed and supple. I’ve never had this feeling of bliss before. It feels like I would have the best sleep of my life if I fell asleep right now. I’m still aware of my body and ev
