LOGINShare
Chapter 64 - Golden Mornings
Last Updated:
2021-10-29 23:27:547 am
I’m sitting on a swing chair on the veranda watching the world come alive. Everyone in the house is still asleep. I got up about an hour ago and I’ve been sitting here under a blanket enjoying the smell of the morning air. I watched the last bits of the sunrise and I’m glad I did. What a way to kick off my 18th birthday, I feel reborn almost.
I don’t know why but I have this sense of calm about life beyond this point. I was nervous about my final exams, going away to university next year. And I had this fear of what will happen about Leo and I. but now sitting here. I feel no worries; whatever happens will be for the best. I know that we’ll be okay no matter what.
I am grateful for having this time with him, Zach, Lana and his siblings. They have given the best send off into adulthood. They gave me the ability to grow up. Wit
Related chapters
The boy I should not love Chapter 65 - A love that prevails
21 months later Leo is coming to see me today. I haven’t seen him in over a year. We’ve becoming strangers again and I hate it. I moved to Cape Town and life changed. He stayed behind to make sure that everything is set up with Mina and Jon. He had to make sure that they are settled in boarding school. And he had to make sure that he packs up their apartment before he had to go to military school. At the same time I had moved to a new city and when school started I got hit with a reality check. There was no way I could balance school and a relationship. Everything got so overwhelming for me. I got hit with the harsh reality that I wasn’t in high school anymore. It took a moment for me to adjust to the move and the workload. I had to switch off from my life at home and concentrate on my studies. And finally when we both got on our feet, life was so different. We drifted apart, between the distance and adulting it was impossible for us to find our way back. I wanted to fix the gap a
Last Updated : 2021-10-30The boy I should not love Chapter 1- Good vibes
“Why does he always look so dirty?” Amara says making a face. I turn and look in the direction she’s facing and my heart beats faster. Leo is walking across the school parking lot to the school entrance. Leo has his head down, he's wearing a pair of jeans that are weathered. He paired it with a long white T-shirt and hoodie. I don’t see any dirt on him but maybe Amara has extra-ray vision. Maybe she can see something we don’t. Amara is known for being judgmental and loud about it. And unfortunately, Leo is always at the receiving end of her judgment. A day never goes by without her saying something mean about him. I never want to add to her judgment because I don't see anything wrong with him. All I see is a normal school kid minding his own business. I don't get why she has the authority to pass judgment on anyone. But I can't say that to her now can I? We all know how that is going to end. “He doesn’t look dirty,” Gea says and giggles. I want to say exactly but I don’t, wheneve
Last Updated : 2021-06-10The boy I should not love Chapter 2- Silence please
Leo I take a deep breath and stretch my arms over my head. My eyes feel heavy and all the sleep I have been avoiding is coming over me. I haven’t slept in three days; I had to work three nights in a row. And now I have test week. The toll of three back to back 10 hour shifts after a full day of school and then another 8 hours taking care of my siblings is all taking a toll on me. I yawn out loud and the people in the library look at me weird. I whisper sorry and go back to looking through my notes. I shake my head trying to wake myself up. I really need to get some rest. I look up and Golden is standing in front of me. She looks at me and then at the people behind us. My heart starts racing, I take a deep breath and quickly look back at my notes. I hate that she has that effect on me, but come to think of it she has that effect on every guy in this whole school. She’s beautiful and popular. So she’s way out of my league but my heart doesn’t know that does it? She places her bag o
Last Updated : 2021-06-12The boy I should not love Chapter 3- Slow down
“Are you tired?” my little sister Mina asks me when I yawn for the 5th time in less than 2 minutes. I know this because she has been counting for me, out loud. I just picked her and my little brother up from school. Their school is a 15-minute bus ride from my school, I could walk but taking the bus means I get there faster and I will have more time before I have to go to work. And then the three of us have to walk home from their school. I’ve been doing this for the last six months and I can feel my body fighting me. But what other choice do I have? If I don’t work, my siblings and I can’t eat. And if I don’t take care of them no one will. My mother went missing again, she’s been missing for three months now, leaving me to take care of the three of us. Don’t ask me where she disappeared to because I don’t know. I learned to stop looking for her a long time ago. All I think about now is making sure that these two are safe, warm and fed. This is the life I know, she’s been disappea
Last Updated : 2021-06-12The boy I should not love Chapter 4- Good night
I get home around 1 am in the morning. I walk to the babysitter's apartment. I know she’s asleep and she probably doesn’t mind keeping Mina and Jon over night but I would rather have them wake up with me than have to go get them from the babysitter in the morning. I knock at her door and wait. I knock again after a moment and I hear her walk to the door. She opens it and looks at me sleepily. “Hi Sophia sorry for waking you up” I say when she finally looks like she has her eyes focused on me. “No, don’t apologize. Come in” she says and lets me in. I get into her apartment and head to the bedroom I know the kids are sleeping. I get Jon out of bed first and then Sophia gets Mina for me. I thank her and head to our apartment with both of them in my arms. They’re so heavy but I’m too tired to make two trips to go get them. I use the last bit of strength I have to get them to bed. I quickly get all of us in bed, in the dark. I don’t want to turn on the lights or even think about taking
Last Updated : 2021-06-14The boy I should not love Chapter 5 - Party all night?
19:00 Mooikloof, Pretoria “Wow” Gina exclaims next to me when we get Amara’s house. The driveway is lined with large pink balloons. The front doorway is decorated with pink roses. The grass has been spray painted pink as well. It’s like someone came and dropped a large pink paint ball in her front yard. And it stained everything. I love it! I know I will never be able to convince my parents to throw me a birthday party like this. They love me but not this much. “Wow is right” I say when I we get out of the car. They even have valet. I hand my keys to the guy and he gives me a card. “I mean, I knew Amara’s parents were loaded but this is next level loaded.” Gina says looking around uncomfortable. She fiddles with her dress, trying to fix it. I feel her anxiety creeping toward me and I don’t like it. I feel off enough, I don’t need her emotions. “Why are you surprised? We’ve been here before.” I say confused by her reaction. She’s been to Amara’s house before, why does she look
Last Updated : 2021-09-02The boy I should not love Chapter 6 - Strawberry Shake
Sundays are my self-care/ self love days. That means no boyfriends, no commitments and most definitely no best friends. It is a day all about me, for me; I take the day to do what I want to do. I do what makes me happy.That can be anything from taking a long nap, to getting my nails done or going people watching in the park.Today I am going on a solo picnic date. I have my grilled chicken and ham sandwiches packed, in my basket. I also have a nice fruit bowl situation going on. And to drink I have my mother’s famous pink lemonade, all I need is a nice strawberry shake for desert. I love strawberry shakes, I’m not too picky about where I get it, as long as it’s the flavor I like.I am driving to the nearest McDonald’s in my area. The picnic spot I want to go to is 44 minutes from Pretoria. And I don’t want to waste time driving around Pretoria. I am going to Bronkhorspruit Dam for my solo date, I’m so excited. It’
Last Updated : 2021-09-03The boy I should not love Chapter 7 - New Beginnings
LeoI walk on the school property not really ready to get into the grind of the coming week. I am tired as usual, it’s a miracle I woke up this morning.. I get to the parking lot where all the popular kids hang out. Their car doors open and music blasting from their speakers. I know if I look straight ahead I’ll see Golden. She’s with her friends leaningZach’s words filter into my head uninvited. I look straight ahead and Golden is looking in my direction. I quickly look down my heart in my throat. I look behind me maybe there’s someone there, a bunch of 8th graders are leaning on a wall. But they are not looking in her direction, they are staring at a phone.I look back up at Golden and she’s still looking at me. I look away and take deep breaths. Was she looking at me? Why would she be looking at me? Am I tripping?I need to get my head straight there’s no way in hell Gol
Last Updated : 2021-09-04
Latest chapter
The boy I should not love Chapter 65 - A love that prevails
21 months later Leo is coming to see me today. I haven’t seen him in over a year. We’ve becoming strangers again and I hate it. I moved to Cape Town and life changed. He stayed behind to make sure that everything is set up with Mina and Jon. He had to make sure that they are settled in boarding school. And he had to make sure that he packs up their apartment before he had to go to military school. At the same time I had moved to a new city and when school started I got hit with a reality check. There was no way I could balance school and a relationship. Everything got so overwhelming for me. I got hit with the harsh reality that I wasn’t in high school anymore. It took a moment for me to adjust to the move and the workload. I had to switch off from my life at home and concentrate on my studies. And finally when we both got on our feet, life was so different. We drifted apart, between the distance and adulting it was impossible for us to find our way back. I wanted to fix the gap a
The boy I should not love Chapter 64 - Golden Mornings
7 amI’m sitting on a swing chair on the veranda watching the world come alive. Everyone in the house is still asleep. I got up about an hour ago and I’ve been sitting here under a blanket enjoying the smell of the morning air. I watched the last bits of the sunrise and I’m glad I did. What a way to kick off my 18th birthday, I feel reborn almost.I don’t know why but I have this sense of calm about life beyond this point. I was nervous about my final exams, going away to university next year. And I had this fear of what will happen about Leo and I. but now sitting here. I feel no worries; whatever happens will be for the best. I know that we’ll be okay no matter what.I am grateful for having this time with him, Zach, Lana and his siblings. They have given the best send off into adulthood. They gave me the ability to grow up. Wit
The boy I should not love Chapter 63 - Nature
“How amazing is this view?.” I say looking out the bedroom window of the air bnb we rented for the weekend. As always Zach hooked us up with an amazing place. He always finds the best accommodation. But this time he outdid himself. He found this little cottage in the middle of Magoebaskloof. We are in the lush green mountains of Limpopo. If I look hard enough I can see the Ebenezer Dam in the distance.The smell of pine is all around us, I find it oddly comforting. It’s not a smell I’m overly familiar with but I like it. I know waking up tomorrow is going to be a joy. The sky is turning orange as the sun is setting. It looks like the perfect painting. The fiery orange of the sun and the lush green of the tree tops meet in the far distance. And the little ink of the water in the distance adds an amazing texture to the view. This is incredible.I find myself amazed at the beauty that’s in South Africa, living i
The boy I should not love Chapter 62 - Crossing a line
“Have fun on your trip.” Mr. Brown says to me when I get out of the staff room. I have my overnight bag on one shoulder, my work bag on the other and a bouquet of roses. I want to surprise Golden with flowers when we pick her up.“Thank you. I guess I’ll see you after my exams.” I say smiling at him. He looks so sad right now. He looks like he’s dropping his son off at university. He always gets like this at the end of the year. It’s the longest time we spend apart. I don’t come into work during exam time because I want to focus on doing well. And the only way I can do that is if I don’t have to work.This year is especially important because I’m writing my final exam. I need to be laser focused. I want to pass with distinctions so that my placement in the army is smoother. I want to be one of the top picks. A lot is riding on this.“Yeah, I’ll see you then. Good luck with your exams, don&rs
The boy I should not love Chapter 61- Date night
“Thank you for taking me out tonight.” Golden says smiling at me; she looks so good tonight I can’t stop staring at her. My eyes keep going from her smile, to her eyes and then down to her boobs. I’m grateful we have this table between us because I don’t think I would have been able to keeps my hands to myself.I keep catching myself staring at one or the other. It’s so hard for me to keep up with the conversation because my brain keeps creating images of us that are not appropriate. Well they are not inappropriate really but they are forbidden.I promised myself I would keep my hands off of her but she’s making it impossible in that dress. She looks incredible.“It’s my absolute pleasure.” I say and she smiles that sexy smile again. She takes a sip of her water radiating sexual tension and passion.“You’re taking all the pleasure don’t I get
The boy I should not love Chapter 60 - Content
“Please come in.” Golden’s father says opening the door for me to get in. We shake hands as I walk in. He smiles welcoming me in. this is the first time I’ve come to Golden’s house in official girlfriend capacity.So I’m nervous, usually I have Mina and Jon as my buffer but today I am riding solo.“Thank you, how are you?” I ask him when he closes the door behind us.“I’m well and how are you?” He asks smiling at me. We walk to the living area and sit on the sofa.“I’m good.” I say smiling at him too. He sits back comfortably looking at me closely.“Golden will be down soon.” He says after a moment of silence. The mood is different, it’s not awkward but it’s so much more silent I guess.“No problem.” I say willing myself to be calmer. I don’t want to bring weird energy into the air. This is Golden’s father not a
The boy I should not love Chapter 59 - Green
“Do you want to talk about it?” Zach asks looking at me cautiously. I look from him to Leo who is also looking at me with concern. Its lunch break and we’re sitting on my picnic blanket on the soccer field. Our favorite spot, we come here all the time now. I know we’re going to miss these chilled out sessions when school is over.I mistakenly texted Leo about my run in with Cole and he told Zach of ‘course and now the two of them are concerned that I have suppressed feeling about my ex screaming at me in public. I want to put it behind me, move on with my life. But they think it’s good for me to talk about.I don’t want to for two reasons, the first being Leo and I are together and I hate talking about my ex with him. And two, I’m over all of it.“I’m worried you might have an outburst if you don’t let your feelings out.” Le says and I roll my eyes at him. He laughs when he sees me do it.
The boy I should not love Chapter 58 - Return
3 months into Leo and Golden’s relationshipI stand sitting a few feet my fro car as it’s being washed. I’ve been neglecting it for so long, I had to get it cleaned before the week starts again.My mind drifts to last few weeks I spent with Leo. We finally got into the groove of our relationship. We figured out our boundaries, I took my mother’s advice and talked to him about setting them. I know how far we can take everything and I’ve been having fun discovering what I like with him.I smile thinking about the intimate moments we’ve had. We still haven’t gone all the way yet. I still want to so bad but I’m glad one of us had the sense to wait. We’ve had a chance to get to know each other more without the drama.I’m lucky I’m dealing with Leo; he’s so much more mature than I am. He takes his time to so things and he doesn’t make bi
The boy I should not love Chapter 57 - Heart to Heart
“Hi, honey.” My mother says as I walk through the door. She’s looking at me with a strange look on her face. I smile at her and she smiles too but she’s still staring at me. She’s looking at me like I’m some stranger or like I’m different. I stop for a moment looking at her. “Hi.” I say walking to the living room where she’s sitting comfortably under a blanket. The house so much warmer than the outside, the weather hasn’t improved since this morning. In fact it’s gotten worse throughout the day; winter is really here. I sit next to her feeling warm and happy; despite the weather outside. I’m still feeling god about what happened with Leo this afternoon.My body feels relaxed and supple. I’ve never had this feeling of bliss before. It feels like I would have the best sleep of my life if I fell asleep right now. I’m still aware of my body and ev
