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Chapter 25 - Under my skin
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2024-10-29 19:42:56I brought Leo to an old farm that allows people to have picnics on the property. The farm is so big that there can be multiple there and they would never be in the same place. It’s like a private place in public. I personally love places like this but I don’t know if this is Leo’s speed.
I am walking by faith here. I am hoping he likes it here.
We walk across a field littered with wild flowers. The flowers are the main reason I chose to come here with him. I thought he would love it here, since he loves flowers. I look back at him as we walk towards a tree that looks like the perfect spot to have our picnic.
He’s quiet so I don’t really know what he’s thinking right now. This makes me even more nervous.
“I thought long and hard about what we could do today and I came up with a very cool idea for our date today. I’m not afraid t say I came up empty, I wanted us to do something fun without the has
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The boy I should not love Chapter 26 - Judgment
A week later“I don’t get why you hang out with those boys. They’re so basic.” Amara says through the receiver. I just got home from school, I’m exhausted and I don’t have time for this.I place my bag on the bedroom floor and flop onto my bed.“Those boys have names. Leo and Zach.” I say irritated. I should just end this call right now. There’s no reason why I’m listening to this.“Who cares Golden? You think people care but no one cares.” She says and I sigh in exhaustion. The gag is, she think I care what people think.“I care Amara.” I say almost screaming into the phone. I lie on my back and look at the ceiling.“Whatever this is, it needs to end. I can’t stand for this; we’ve watched this go on for too long you need to snap out of it. Come back and we can hang out again. And if you want I can talk to Cole a
The boy I should not love Chapter 27 - This time
“Milk, Eggs sugar and corn starch.” I say out loud reading the items on the list my mother gave me this morning. I’m doing the groceries today because she didn’t feel like doing it. So I offered to do it for her, I wanted to do something nice for her. It feels good to be out of the house. The past week went by so fast; I’ve been on auto pilot going from home, picking Leo and his siblings to go to school in the mornings. Then getting through the school day and then dropping them off after school. After all that I get home study for hours; sometimes I study until the next morning. Next week we start our end of term tests and I’m determined to ace of all them. This end of term report card is my ticket into university. If I don’t do well I might as well quit while I’m ahead. I want to go to med school so I need to be serious. At the same time I realize I need to take a few minutes to breathe. Or else I’ll burn out; at least that’s what my mother sa
The boy I should not love Chapter 28 - Don't give up om me
“Come in.” I say and Golden walks in to my apartment. I didn’t think I would find her sitting my parking lot when I got home. She didn’t tell me she would be coming today so when I saw her car my heart jumped. I was just thinking about her as I walked to my building but when I saw her crying in her car my heart sank. I can’t figure out what the hell is going on right now. “Have a seat.” I say pointing to a chair.I pull a chair and sit a feet from her. I take a deep breath to calm myself down. I can tell she’s distraught and I don’t want to add to her stress by being freaked out. Although I have to admit I’m freaked out. Why is she crying?She’s avoiding eye contact. Her eyes are puffed up and red. Her cheeks are a little puffed up too. I want to walk to her and hug her, tell her it will be okay but I don’t know if this is she’ll accept me. I never know where the line is with her and I’
The boy I should not love Chapter 29 - Truth
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The boy I should not love Chapter 30 - Common ground
“Do you mind if I start at home before I drop you off?” Golden says as we leave the school grounds. I want to say yes I mind please let me out at the bus stop but I don’t want to be rude.She’s been very kind to drive me back and forth from school for the past few weeks and it has made my life so much easier. I haven’t had to worry about hustling my siblings to get to the bus on time in the mornings in a long time.I’m grateful for her help but that weird feeling I had in the beginning is back. It feels like we’re starting over rebuilding our friendship. I don’t know if we should continue with this anymore. But every morning she shows up on time to pick us pick. I can’t tell you how many times I chickened out of texting her not to pick us up.I know she’s not going to understand why I want to stop. I don’t know how to say no without sounding ungrateful but at the time am I supposed to just g
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The boy I should not love Chapter 32 - Time out
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The boy I should not love Chapter 33 - Run ins
“Will your parents be cool with you going on a trip with us?” I ask Golden when we get into Zach’s car. I look back at her so I can see her face when she answers. Our last stop for the day is the ice cream shop. As soon as we were done eating Zach declared that we are going there no negotiations.“I don’t see why they wouldn’t be.” She answers simply. She gives me a I got this look“Let me guess if she was your daughter you would be concerned.” Zach says to me as he drives out of the McDonalds parking lot.“Well she is planning on driving 500 km to another province with a couple of strangers.” I say stating a very obvious fact. We haven’t been hanging out with Golden for about three months now. I’m not a parent but if Mina came to me and said she wants to go to another province with dudes I don’t know. I would be concerned and probably wouldn’t let her.
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The boy I should not love Chapter 62 - Crossing a line
“Have fun on your trip.” Mr. Brown says to me when I get out of the staff room. I have my overnight bag on one shoulder, my work bag on the other and a bouquet of roses. I want to surprise Golden with flowers when we pick her up.“Thank you. I guess I’ll see you after my exams.” I say smiling at him. He looks so sad right now. He looks like he’s dropping his son off at university. He always gets like this at the end of the year. It’s the longest time we spend apart. I don’t come into work during exam time because I want to focus on doing well. And the only way I can do that is if I don’t have to work.This year is especially important because I’m writing my final exam. I need to be laser focused. I want to pass with distinctions so that my placement in the army is smoother. I want to be one of the top picks. A lot is riding on this.“Yeah, I’ll see you then. Good luck with your exams, don&rs
The boy I should not love Chapter 61- Date night
“Thank you for taking me out tonight.” Golden says smiling at me; she looks so good tonight I can’t stop staring at her. My eyes keep going from her smile, to her eyes and then down to her boobs. I’m grateful we have this table between us because I don’t think I would have been able to keeps my hands to myself.I keep catching myself staring at one or the other. It’s so hard for me to keep up with the conversation because my brain keeps creating images of us that are not appropriate. Well they are not inappropriate really but they are forbidden.I promised myself I would keep my hands off of her but she’s making it impossible in that dress. She looks incredible.“It’s my absolute pleasure.” I say and she smiles that sexy smile again. She takes a sip of her water radiating sexual tension and passion.“You’re taking all the pleasure don’t I get
The boy I should not love Chapter 60 - Content
“Please come in.” Golden’s father says opening the door for me to get in. We shake hands as I walk in. He smiles welcoming me in. this is the first time I’ve come to Golden’s house in official girlfriend capacity.So I’m nervous, usually I have Mina and Jon as my buffer but today I am riding solo.“Thank you, how are you?” I ask him when he closes the door behind us.“I’m well and how are you?” He asks smiling at me. We walk to the living area and sit on the sofa.“I’m good.” I say smiling at him too. He sits back comfortably looking at me closely.“Golden will be down soon.” He says after a moment of silence. The mood is different, it’s not awkward but it’s so much more silent I guess.“No problem.” I say willing myself to be calmer. I don’t want to bring weird energy into the air. This is Golden’s father not a
The boy I should not love Chapter 59 - Green
“Do you want to talk about it?” Zach asks looking at me cautiously. I look from him to Leo who is also looking at me with concern. Its lunch break and we’re sitting on my picnic blanket on the soccer field. Our favorite spot, we come here all the time now. I know we’re going to miss these chilled out sessions when school is over.I mistakenly texted Leo about my run in with Cole and he told Zach of ‘course and now the two of them are concerned that I have suppressed feeling about my ex screaming at me in public. I want to put it behind me, move on with my life. But they think it’s good for me to talk about.I don’t want to for two reasons, the first being Leo and I are together and I hate talking about my ex with him. And two, I’m over all of it.“I’m worried you might have an outburst if you don’t let your feelings out.” Le says and I roll my eyes at him. He laughs when he sees me do it.
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The boy I should not love Chapter 57 - Heart to Heart
“Hi, honey.” My mother says as I walk through the door. She’s looking at me with a strange look on her face. I smile at her and she smiles too but she’s still staring at me. She’s looking at me like I’m some stranger or like I’m different. I stop for a moment looking at her. “Hi.” I say walking to the living room where she’s sitting comfortably under a blanket. The house so much warmer than the outside, the weather hasn’t improved since this morning. In fact it’s gotten worse throughout the day; winter is really here. I sit next to her feeling warm and happy; despite the weather outside. I’m still feeling god about what happened with Leo this afternoon.My body feels relaxed and supple. I’ve never had this feeling of bliss before. It feels like I would have the best sleep of my life if I fell asleep right now. I’m still aware of my body and ev
