Chapter 9

I paced back ang forth on my room again, thinking deeply about what am I supposed to righteously do when I come outside again. 

I know I'll be encountering that boy again. Malamang, kaming dalawa lang naman ang nandito sa bahay. Even if I try to avoid him for the rest of the day, I know I won't be able to possibly do that. Especially now that he's becoming so nosy already.

Hindi na nga muna ako lumabas sa kwarto ko sa mga sumunod pang mga oras. Pinalipas ko muna ang ilan pang oras, at nang makitang medyo hindi na mainit sa labas, indikasyon na medyo hapon na, saka ko pa napagdesisyunan na lumabas na nga at magtungo sa kusina.

Doon nga ako dumiretso. Hindi na ako tumingin pa sa kung saang bahagi ng bahay, na maaaring tambayan ng Delgado'ng kasama ko. Of course, I already know for now that he will do everything just not to be in the kitchen for too long. Kaya nang makaabot na ako d'on, I somehow felt relieved. I can't sense his presence anywhere, and that calmed my nervous nerves.

I sighed first before finally picking up the dishes on the sink, then started the usual routine of washing them. Mabuti na lang at natapos na lang ako, wala pa ring Delgado na nagparamdam sa paligid ko. I somehow felt at peace, and relieved, too. But that was not for long.

Matapos kong ilagay ang mga pinggan sa dishwasher, pinunasan ko ang mga kamay ko gamit ang kitchen towel na nakasampay sa gilid lang ng sink. At ang pawis sa noo ko, pinunasan ko naman gamit ang damit ko.

Like how guys do it, I lifted the hem of my shirt to wipe the sweat on my forehead. At dahil nga akala ko wala naman pala ang batang Delgado ngayon sa paligid ko, I was comfortable on doing so.

Pero nang may bigla na naman akong naramdaman na kung anong enerhiya sa likod ko, agad kong tinigil ang ginagawa at binalingan ang likod ko.

And yes, folks. The golden boy was there. Standing innocently with his hands on his short's pockets, and staring straight into the wall next to him.

Pinaningkitan ko siya ng mata dahil sa namumuong pagdududa sa loob ko. Para naman talagang nakatayo lang siya d'on at hinihintay ako. Pero pwede ring umaarte lang 'to ngayon, at nagpapatay-malisya lang.

Binaba ko na ang pang-itaas kong damit at patuloy siyang tinitigan nang masama, habang paunti-unting lumapit sa kanya. And he probably felt me approaching him, saka niya pa ako binalingan din.

He looked like he meant no harm when I examined his eyes, though. I don't know if I should be convinced. Baka mamaya, malaswa niya na naman akong tinititigan habang pinupunasan ko ang sarili ko gamit ang aking damit kanina.

"What brings you here, big boy?" Bungad ko sa kanya.

I'm quite surprised that he's now looking at me straight in my eyes, unlike what he usually does. Hindi gaya ng madalas niyang ginagaw sa mga nagdaang mga araw na iwasan ang tingin ko sa takot. Ngayon, natitignan niya na ako ng deretso sa mga mata, seryosong-seryoso.

"I..." he looked down, "found this on one of the books on your bookshelf, and I... got curious about its title, because it can somehow be of relevance on what you just taught me a while ago, at lunch."

Tinignan ko rin ang kamay niyang may hawak ng isang librong hindi ko na naman inaasahan. Right there, sitting on his big hands is the almighty book of S*x Education.

How the hell did he know about that word, though? Eh pamboboso lang naman 'yong binulyaw ko sa kanya kanina? How did he know that this is relevant to the things I just scolded him about?

"And how did you know that this is has something to do with what I just taught you a while ago?" I blurted out the thoughts on my head.

Our eyes met once again, but now I saw a small hint of fear in his eyes. Pero mabilis naman 'yong nawala, and his eyes is now full with undoubtful innocence. I was confused, and still not that convinced, so I raised a brow.

"I read the first pages and it talks about... women... and men. You know, the typical stuff."

"What typical stuff?"

His eyes widened a fraction. "Come on! You own this book! Alam mo naman na siguro kung anong laman-"

"Nu-uh, big boy," I interrupted him. "I still want to know what you've read, at kung paano mo nalaman na may kaugnayan 'yan sa pinagsasabi ko sa 'yo kanina, tungkol sa pamboboso."

He looked down to the book again and I even saw him bite his lips. Now, obvious nervousness can be felt from him, pero wala na yata ang takot sa kanya. It's like he's just nervous because he's not comfortable on what he'll be saying, but is not scared on how I will react, probably because he'll say something honest.

And I am expecting an honest answer, too.

"The first pages were... direct. I mean, straight to the point. I have heard of the word sex before but as I read the first pages of the book, I was even more enlightened on what is the deep meaning of that concept,"

Hindi pa rin binababa ang nakataas na kilay, humakbang ako paatras, para magtama ang likod ko sa isang pader sa tapat niya lang at isandal ang sarili ko doon. I then crossed both my feet and arms, trying to get comfortable as I'm expecting him to have a whole speech on what he just read.

"And..." I gestured him to continue.

"And... it then talked about some... common... things... in humans."

"Like?"

"Like...our...." I can feel his hesitance even when we're meters away. "reproductive organs."

I smirked at how cute his voice sounded when he said that. Like he's an abducted man trying to sound calm after saying that he lost all the money that was supposed to be his kidnapper's fortune.

"And what are our reproductive organs, Sid?"

He looked up to me with wide innocent eyes. "Uhh, for men, it's the p*nis and some of its other parts. And for women, it's their v*ginas, and everything that is inside it, that... could be of great use for... reproduction."

I smirked even wider. "How about bre*sts? Have you read everything about it on the first pages of the book? And how far have you already read, by the way?"

"Uhh, yeah, of course." He looked down to the book he's still holding again. "It's a part of a woman's body."

"Hmm?" I raised a teasing tone at him. "And what you just saw this morning, when I leaned to get the dishes, what was that called?"

His eyes wandered off to different angles of the place again, now looking entirely occupied with his nervousness that he can't get his gaze fixated in just one place, like he always does. Like how I child always does.

That seems to be one of his mannerisms now, as I've noticed. It can't be that hard to notice if he's nervous or uncomfortable. Saka ko na lang 'yan pupunain kapag dinala ko 'to kung saan at ganyan pa rin siya, kapag hahayaan ko ng mga kasamahan ko ang kumausap sa kanya. I know that time will come, but maybe it will still not be soon. I will still need those bastards' help with him, some time.

"I didn't-"

"Oh, come on! I know you saw something!"

"It... it's your... bre*sts," he said that in almost a whisper.

"And... what do you think about it?"

I saw him widened his eyes even more after I said that, like he's not expecting me to blurt out that kind of question.

"W-What do you m-mean?"

"My breasts. What was your impression about them? Are they big enough for you?"

Mas lalo lang nanlaki ang mga mata niya sa 'kin, at napansin ko rin ang bahagya niyang pamumutla, which is the opposite of what I was expecting him to look. Akala ko mamumula siya.

"H-Ha?" gulantang niyang tanong sa 'kin.

I let out a chuckle. Parang kanina lang, takot na takot pa akong i-open sa kanya ang ganito ka sensitibong topic. Pero ngayong nakita ko kung gaano ka nakakatawa ang mukha niya habang inaasar ko, parang bigla lang akong ginanahan na mag-usap kami sa ganitong bagay.

"Nevermind," I chuckled again. "We'll talk about that later. I'll just get change in a more comfortable clothing. Pwede kang maghintay sa balkonahe, at ipwesto mo ang mga upuan doon sa hindi mainit na pwesto. I'll be with you for a short while."

Hindi ko na hinintay ang sagot niya at iniwan na naman siya do'n. Nagbihis nga muna ako sa kwarto ko. And now I'm wearing an oversized but fancy shirt, with a rainbow print on its middle, and a knee length pair of black cycling shorts then an ankle-high black and white socks. I just wanted to look as unattractive as ever as I will be talking to the kid after this, in such a very unusual topic.

Well, maybe that can't be that unusual for me anymore, since I was raised in a kind of a vulgar environment and is now also currently working in a male-dominant job. This topic can be heard anywhere and anytime I'm with them. But for the poor kid, I'm sure it will be his first time talking about these things.

I didn't bother to comb my long hair and just let it flow however it wants on my back and shoulders. Nang napunta na nga ulit ako sa balkonahe, nandoon na si Sid, nakapwesto sa malayong gilid kung saan hindi kami maaabot ng sinag ng araw ng hapong 'to.

I went to sit beside him, at agad naman niya akong nilingon nang tuluyan na akong naupo sa tabi niya. I turned to him to offer him a smile.

Obviously hesitant, he still smiled back.

Dahil may kalakihan naman ang gawa sa bakal na upuan na 'yon, ipinatong ko ang pareho kong mga paa roon, saka niyakap ang dalawang tuhod at saka pa lang binalingan ulit ang Delgado sa tabi ko.

He's also just sitting lazily beside me, unlike his usual very straight-postured way of living. But his hands were shut tight, like he's holding all his restraint there. Hindi ko na lang pinansin pa 'yon at itinuon na lang ulit ang pansin ko sa harap, saka nag-isip ng pwedeng introduction sa magiging usapan namin.

Stephan's words echoed in my mind again. Just talk about it to him in a calm manner.

Alright. Fine. Then calm it will be.

"Have you read the entire book already?" I asked as an introduction.

With my vision still focused on the scenery of the backyard in front of me, with the afternoon sunlight making the view even more clear, I continued talking when I felt he probably had no courage to reply to me.

"That book is just an introduction to the whole concept of s*x, though. As thin as the pages are, I doubt that will feed you curiosity about that word. So let me discuss it to you." I then turned to him. "Just this once. So you should listen carefully, because I'm not repeating this all again."

I saw him lick his lips then gulped. And as he usually does, looked away. Binalik ko na lang din ang tingin ko sa aking harap.

"That's where you actually came from, muchacho. Your mother and father were h*rny one night, and they had s*x, and then they had you. And that's how everyone does it, too. That's how the world rotates. How the world gets even more dumber as time passes. Because everyone, always have the mindset of having s*x, and that can bring life. And that can result to blessings to others, but problems to some. Everyone kept on doing it, but also not everyone is actually wholly acquainted of the fact that there should be a limit to that thought. There should be restraint, and healthy measures."

I admitted that maybe I became exaggerated from what I had just explained to him. I was also speaking too fast. Ewan ko na lang kung naintidihan niya ang mga sinabi ko. So I looked at him for a second to check on him, at nakitang parang maayos lang naman siyang nakikinig.

"I assume you already read the basic parts of the human body that can be of great use during s*xual reproduction. But there are also certain perks about this concept. Pero dahil gusto kitang takutin, I will only tell you to be careful because being involve in any of these things will cause you big trouble. One little too much of those thoughts, can lead to being a pervert; once your curiosity exceeds the limits just because it wasn't fed according to your satisfaction, can turn to a problem, boy. Being a pervert isn't nice. And I also don't want to live with a pervert," I emphasized my last sentence.

I paused to let out a smile.

"So dapat nga na maingat ka sa mga pinag-iisip mo. Those thoughts are normal. I'm not saying anything about you forcefully stopping yourself from having those thoughts. I'm just saying, that if there is anything you're curious at, you can ask that to me politely. Hindi ko naman ipagkakait sa 'yo ang mga bagay na dapat mo ring malaman. If you were just raised normally by your parents, then you should've known all these stuffs even before you turn 20, and will only need their guidance and rules for limitations about this subject.

"Pero dahil nangyari na ang nangyari, and now they're not here to teach you these things anymore, I can actually volunteer to help you know and be educated about all these. That's actually what I'm doing now. At kahit pa kahit pati ako ay medyo hindi rin komportable na pag-usapan ang mga bagay na 'to, lalo na sa isang lalaki, gaya mo, alam ko namang para lang din naman ito sa ikabubuti mo. As if I'll have the courage to continue living with a guy who has no knowledge about even the simplest s*x education."

He was just silent as I said that mini speech of mine. Nang balingan ko siya ulit, nakatunghay nga lang ang paningin niya sa harap, mapungay ang mga mata. That's when my mind started to slowly praise his features, which I opted to not investigate too much about for the first days that we've met.

His eyes we're as innocent as a child's, while his thick eyebrows can make his whole innocent look very different when he puts on a scowl. With his angle now, his jaw looks so perfectly sculpted, and just one single movement of it can probably make my own jaw drop. His hair is on a clean cut, with a little bit of bangs hanging from both the sides of his forehead. His pointy nose and very pink luscious lips made his features even more god-like. And with the way his broad shoulders compliments well his lean body, it can almost be impossible that he has such a not-so-bagay attitude.

Because for sure, if he had just grown up the way any normal people did, he would've had so many girls tied up with him. Just one single look from him can probably make anyone fall for him so quickly, with his dashing looks. And with that, one single exposure of him to the outside world, might also put him on too much of an overwhelming feeling, dahil baka kahit ang pagtapak niya sa lupa ay sambahin na ng mga babaeng makakakita sa kanya.

That's how I can describe him. So... dangerously handsome. But never in a way that can attract me, though. Gwapo nga siya, pero hindi ko pa rin type.

This is just one of the reasons that maybe someday will give me a hard time to consider letting him enjoy the outside world for a while. I know I will do that some time in the future, because I, too, also wants to be friends with him. For the past few days that we've been together, pity overpowered my personality, and I am just so willing to let him have his taste of freedom someday. Just, not now.

Someday, once he finally agrees to give me what I want. I don't think that gem will matter to him, anyway. But still, I don't want to rush him. Besides, I still have to dig some information about his family too, according to the whole plan of this mission tasked for me.

"So..." I spoke again. "Do you have any questions? Or did you understand the whole book already?"

Nilingon niya na rin ako. "Uhm, maybe?"

I raised my brows, gesturing him to spill it out.

"What do you actually mean by, limits about it? Like, on what exactly am I suppose to limit myself? From the actual... intercourse? Or just the thought of it?"

I sighed. "Well, for now, of course you should limit yourself from your thoughts about it. How can you stop yourself from having the urge to do an intercourse when you still also haven't done it for your whole life? 'Wag ka na lang masyadong mag-isip ng gano'n."

"But you said it's just normal to have these thoughts?"

"Of course, it is. But as I said too, there should always be a limit to it. Kapag nakita na naman kitang pinagpapantasyahan ako, malalagot ka na talaga sa 'kin."

"Pantasya? Like, fantasy? Fantasize? Is that what you mean?"

"Yeah? Ano ba sa pagkakaintindi mo?"

"Nothing," he looked away again. "It's just, it's my first time hearing that word used in that way."

Kumunot ang noo ko. "Ha?"

He shifted uncomfortably on his seat. "Nothing, really. It's just that, maybe I'll get used to those double meaning words from now, huh? I've also read them from the book you gave me this morning."

"Oh, 'yong After? You've already finished that book?"

He shook his head. "Nope. I stopped in... some parts that has..."

Tumango-tango naman ako, naintindihan agad ang gusto niyang iparating.

"Hmm," I hummed. "So, I guess that's it for now. Kung gusto mo ngang manood ng movies, you can just knock me on my room so I can setup the television for you. If you want to continue reading whatever you want to read, then also just do the same thing, or even when you are having a hard time understanding the complexity of a normal college girl's life, in After. Or maybe you can ask me things in the S*x Ed book, too. Whatever you need, just knock on my door. And don't do what you just did this morning. Peeping is bad, Delgado. I won't stop reminding you that over and over again."

I stood up after that, but he remained seated and just watched me rose from my seat beside him.

"Never," I turned to face him again, pointing my finger at his direction, "come to my room again without knocking. And never, peep at me in my room again. Understand?"

He nodded like an obedient student. Patuloy ko pa siyang tinitigan gamit ang mga naniningkit na mga mata. And when I was satisfied with his look, saka na ako tuluyang umalis do'n.

But just when I was about to make a turn to go to my room, I heard a sudden hiss from him, then a silent mumble. I'm not sure what it really was, though, but I think it probably went something like,

"Sh*t, the legs..."