I spent the last few days at my house relaxing and waiting for my body to be at one hundred percent. While I was relaxing I was, unfortunately, visited by my “precious” childhood friend. He would bring me different types of gifts to help me get better.
The servants in my house found it cute how considerate he was being but I could only see him in a negative light. I will never fully trust him. I won’t trust anyone who is involved in a way with my death in the game. I have to be careful around them.
After a few days of me not doing anything, my 'father' sent me my usual tutor to make sure I was being kept up to pace with everything. From Aurelia's memories, she didn’t enjoy studying at all. She could never be good enough in her 'father's' eyes. Only her 'brother' was the perfect child so she always hid away from her tutor and never did her work.
Seeing as I am here now I will do something different. In my previous life, I had to keep my grades better than anyone if I wanted the best life. Not having anyone to support you and your education is difficult so you have to become someone that people want to support. No one cares about a child without parents that much.
I will be better than my dear older 'brother'. I don’t want my 'father' to praise me for what I am going to do. I just want to crush my 'brother' under my feet and become someone even better than him.
The day when my tutor came to my house, I was already sitting at my desk waiting for them to arrive. When I heard my bedroom door being knocked on I permitted them to come into my room.
I look at my tutor who just came into my room. It was a man who looked to be around twenty. I raised my eyebrow at him because I wasn’t expecting someone who is so built to be a tutor. His intimidating black eyes met mine and I could feel him judging me. His short brown hair was neatly styled to the back. He was wearing a simple suit that had one button undone.
“I see that you are ready to learn today Aurelia. I am surprised to see this.” My tutor sat in a chair that was near my desk. He put down different books on my desk and I looked at them with interest.
There were different books on all the things required for me to know before I can publicly go to school and make myself known to the rest of the important higher up people. There was also a book on magic and how to understand it.
That was another thing I enjoyed about this game. It was the fact that even though it was based in modern time people could still use magic but in a more modern way. Everyone can use magic when they reach the age of five. Rarer cases can use magic at sixteen.
The magic types in this world are water, fire, air, earth, light, and darkness. The strongest magic is darkness but it is also the most dangerous one since it can corrupt the user if they are not careful enough.
Light magic is something that people can use but not a lot. When someone does have light magic they are usually seen as some form of luck bringer or whatever bullshit some religious asshole tells everyone.
Aurelia can use dark magic and this doesn’t help with her relationship with other people. Her magic isn’t that strong but it can do some damage. My 'father' blames the fact I can use dark magic for the death of my mother. I do not see how that is even possible but why bother talking to stubborn people.
Aurelia often uses her magic to mess with the heroine who, not a huge surprise…, can use light magic. What a lucky thing for her. The creator had to make the villainess of the game have the “bad” magic so that the heroine was even better in the eyes of everyone.
Technically magic in this world isn’t bad or good. It depends on the people who use it. Aurelia's magic was bad because she was actively going against the heroine. But it could have been good.
Aurelia's magic isn’t that strong because she was too busy building up her image in school but I can make it strong so that no one will mess with me. If I have magic that is the strongest in this world then I will use it.
“Will we be learning about magic also today?” I was looking at the book about magic with interest in my eyes. I want to know how I can become stronger. I don’t have a lot of people on my side so I will have to protect myself.
“If we can get to it. We have to deal with the work that you didn’t do at all. With how much work it is, I will be surprised if we manage to talk about magic at all today.” My tutor slammed down a bunch of papers in front of me. I just look at it with blank eyes. I did more work than that so I am not worried.
My tutor was looking at me carefully, waiting for me to react negatively to the work I had to do but grew confused when he realized I was going right into the work. I could feel his confusion grow as I breeze through the work in front of me with no problem.
It wasn’t that hard for me, I just had to look through the books just in case I needed to be sure about the things I was going to put down as my answers. I put down my pencil when I finished the last paper of work and I turned to look at my shocked tutor.
“May we learn about magic now teacher. I want to get better at understanding my magic and getting stronger with it.” I couldn’t deal with my tutor being shocked at how fast I manage to finish my work, I want to learn about magic.
“Y-Yeah… Magic.” My tutor cleared his throat as he gained control of his expression again. “Aurelia, you know that your magic is based around the darkness. While darkness is usually seen in a bad way it can also be rather helpful. You can be able to blend yourself in the darkness, make a portal with your shadows to go anywhere, and once you are strong enough with your magic it can cancel out other magic from working against you.”
My tutor's face grew serious as he continued to speak to me. “ But this magic can easily control you if you give in to negative emotions. The stronger they are the more likely your magic will consume you and take over you. When that happens it will most likely be impossible to bring you back. So you have to be careful with your magic.”
I was listening to what he was telling me with a serious look on my face. My magic can be powerful but it can also be dangerous to me. I will have to figure out a way to make sure my emotions never get too much for me to handle. I don’t want to be my downfall.
“How can I get better with my magic?” I had to get better at my magic. I can not be weak in any form. I will be better than anyone so that no one will be able to do anything to me.
My tutor handed me another book. It was a completely black book. There was no title and there was only a lock on it that prevented me from opening it. I looked at my tutor confused, not understanding what I needed to do with this book.
“This book has spells that are based around your magic but they only show spells that suit your current level. You can’t currently open the book because your level with magic isn’t even close enough to see the low-level spells in the book. My first lesson with magic with you is for you to open this book.” I could only frown at my tutor as I held this book in my hand. So I have to open this book up just to get better with my magic.
In the game, all I had to do was minigames to increase my level of magic but I guess I have to do this the hard way. Doesn’t matter to me. I did harder stuff than this so I won’t give up.
“That is it for today's lesson. Aurelia, you surprised me with how quickly you did all the work. I guess you are a smart child. Don’t like studying but I'm smart nonetheless. I am also glad to see you are well, I was rather worried that you were never going to wake up. Take care of yourself.” My tutor rubbed a hand on my head and I could only look at him with slightly wide eyes. He took his hand off my head and put away all the books that he brought for the lessons and left my room.
I was left alone with my magic spell book in my hands. I was looking at it with interest but I knew that I shouldn’t mess around with it now. I should do this when it is night. When the darkness is the strongest. Hopefully, something will happen.
I put down the black book I was holding and decided to go to the library in my house to study more about the world I was in. It is good to learn about everything so that I won’t be surprised in the future. I can hopefully learn about the different princes in my library, if not I may have to use my dear childhood friend to gain information on them.
As I was leaving my room I didn’t notice that the black book that I placed on my desk was shaking a bit before it stopped moving again.
It was in the middle of the night and my only light source was a candle that I found in the house. I was sitting in the middle of my bedroom with my black book in front of me. I tried to once again open it but stopped once I realized it wasn’t going to budge.“Okay... From the books I read on magic and dark magic if I want to get started with it I have to give up something of myself… It must be talking about blood since I don’t know what else I could give up from myself.” I lift a needle that I stole from Mae sewing kit and stab myself in the finger with it.I held the finger dripping with blood over my black blood and let my blood fall onto it. My blood landed on the book and I looked at it with focused eyes, waiting for something to happen. I was getting irritated when nothing happened after a few minutes and was going to get off the ground when the candle in front of me went out.
I was standing in front of my huge closet that was in my bedroom. I had a frown on my face when I saw all the bright-looking dresses. I went further into this closet hoping I could at least find something that was dark. I was going to give up hope and grab a random dress from the closet when I saw something that stuck out from the colorful dresses.Getting the dark clothing from the line of clothes I held it in front of me. It was a black dress with white lines near the end of the dress. I felt satisfied with what I was holding and took it out of the closet with me so I could wear it for dinner.After I was done picking out my outfit I decided to go back to the black book that my teacher gave me and try to see if I could teach myself a spell. I held the book in my hand for a few seconds before finally opening it. I could feel a small smile on my face when the book opened easily.When I looke
I spent two months in my house slowly expanding my knowledge of the world. My magic was getting better but it wasn’t perfect. I could still hear that voice appear in my head often but I always manage to push them back down.I was currently having a lesson with my tutor who was impressed with how much I improve over the two months since I got into this body. He was currently teaching me stuff that was more suited for children who were older than me.“I am impressed with how you are progressing in your studies. Your magic is above average as well. I wonder if you were able to do this before, why didn’t you?” My tutor was currently looking through assignments he gave me with pleased eyes. I felt satisfied that he was impressed with how I was doing. But it wasn’t enough. Everything had to be better than everyone.“I was too focused on getting atten
Eli became even clinger after my ‘birthday party’. It is weird to have him always hugging my arm, hugging my waist, and just hugging all over. Is he trying to do something? Also, I am not liking that intense look in his eyes whenever he thinks I am not looking at him.He would always invite me over to his home so that I could watch him dress up in his clothing. He would even make me choose what he should wear telling me, “I want to dress in a way that you enjoy. Your opinion matters to me after all.”It didn’t help that he blushed when he said that to me. I don’t know what is happening to him at all. I mean as long as he isn’t trying to mess with me I will, unfortunately, allow this to continue but I am going to figure out a way for him not to always be in my personal space. It gets uncomfortable if he is always close to me.After my &lsq
I was in my house library studying and taking notes of things I didn’t understand so I could ask my tutor to explain it to me when we came at the usual time. I increased my studying time after I met that prick, Colton.I had to take a deep breath as I remembered him and made sure to get my emotions under control. I don’t want to lose to that dick. I have to keep my studying up so he will not catch up with me. I would rather bite my tongue off than lose to that stuck up dick.As I was reading through a book on the history of how magic came to be I heard the door to the library open. I didn’t bother looking up, assuming it was one of my servants here to leave me a little snack. After a few minutes of silence, I realized that the person who came into the room didn’t leave and I could feel them looking at me with intense eyes.Looking up from my book with a little b
I had a cold look on my face as I looked at my ‘father’ who was talking to a group of important-looking nobles. I was at a table with other children who were my age but none of them dare speak to me, too scared by the cold look I was giving.A cup was placed in front of me and the cold look on my face slowly went away. I look over my shoulder to see Sybil standing behind me with a professional look on his face. Even if I was pissed at my current situation I felt pleased that at least I had one person I could trust with me.I was currently at a tea party but this wasn’t just any tea party, it was a tea party for children my age to hopefully get engaged to someone from an important family. When my ‘father’ visited me one day and told me I was invited to one I felt like I was going to lose control of my magic due to how angry I felt.He is already power
It seems luck was not on my side when Merrill decided to ask his parents if he could visit me once a month and stay at my home for a week. I really wanted to refuse but my ‘father’ ignored what I wanted and told me to simply behave nicely.I hated that no matter how harsh and cold I was to Merrill he kept coming back for more and waiting for me to say something else to him. He was simply a person who couldn’t be dealt with by using harsh words. I never thought I would actually prefer Eli over the other two troublesome love interests.Eli and Merrill seem to have a really tense relationship as well, from what I could see from their interactions with each other. Sybil and him didn’t get along either. I really didn’t know why they didn’t like him but it really wasn’t something I would worry about.I was having a lesson with my tutor one day
I was getting ready in my room as I was heading over to my ‘ father’s' home to eat dinner with him there. It seemed like our relationship was getting ‘closer’ and he wanted to show his improved opinion of me by having me eat dinner at his house.I didn’t feel honored by this at all. Just made me feel like he was telling me I should be thankful that I can be in his grace. I hated this man and one day I wish I could become higher than him in status. Not through marrying someone powerful but with my own skill.I let out a sigh as I realized it would be a long process for me to reach that goal of mine. Even if I see him as a piece of shit this ‘father’ of mine is someone who earned his status in the world. He is ruthless in his deals and doesn’t let useless emotions affect his business deals.I looked at myself in the mirror and reached up
Do you know how it feels to wake up from a deep sleep? Like a sleep that seems like it wasn’t that long but your body is stiff and you are thirsty. And you just need to brush your teeth because it is not a good feeling at the moment.I was currently dealing with that and it was strange. My body felt well rested but at the same time, it felt super sore. I was having a hard time understanding what time it was, where I am, or the meaning of everything in the world. I could feel something wet on my face and I just knew it was drool, gross.Before I could even handle that, I felt myself getting tackled. I was not expecting it and I could feel all the air leaving my lungs. I was confused and still half asleep. Someone was talking but all I could hear was just a bunch of mumbles. I could hear them but the words didn’t make sen
I didn’t know how I was going to get back to where my body was. I was in a space I didn’t know how I got into so it was hard leaving this space. Even though it was bright and covered in daisies, I couldn’t stay here any longer.I am pretty sure this was a place that was supposed to consume me in all my negative emotions but I managed to kind of handle them. There is still some stuff I need to deal with but not right now.‘The creature that is made up of the souls of all the dead dark magic users probably have my body close to them. It would make sense since they are trying to make me join the other souls as well…’ I was struggling to figure out how I could get out of this place I was in when I felt something hit the
I am Aurelia Giliam, I am hated by my family and I crave to feel any type of love. I am stuck in an endless cycle of trying to get the love of people who I know will never give me it. I am bitter, I am angry. I hate this. I am Alina. I don’t have a last name. My mommy family doesn’t want me to have their surname and I hate saying my father's last name as well. I felt love from my mommy, that love of her was so warm and so pure. I wanted to experience that love again so I kept my heart open… Until I reached a point where my heart was broken to a point I couldn’t fix it anymore. I met a boy with a kind smile and love for me but… I pushed him away. I lost him. I lost my mommy. It hurts so much. I am so lonely. My role in this world was the villainess, I was made to suffer so other people could fall in love. Even if I try to change my fate it wouldn’t e
‘Please don’t! Give me back my child! Kill me instead! I am begging you!’ I could hear a voice of a woman calling out all around me. She was crying and it just made me feel so uncomfortable, I didn’t like hearing that at all. Crying reminded me of my mommy… ‘I don’t want to die! Please don’t kill me! Why are you doing this?!’ I am hearing a different voice this time, it sounds like a man who seems very fearful. I wonder who he is calling out to? ‘I hate you! I hate all of you! I will make everyone pay for this! Do you think I am a monster? I will show you a REAL MONSTER!’ I can’t tell if the per
I am humming to myself as I stand on a stepping stool. My hands are so sticky but I am almost done with the sandwich for my mommy. It took me forever but I finally managed to cut them into heart shapes! There were a few close calls with the knife but I didn’t get hurt at all! Mommy will be so proud of me.I placed my heart-shaped sandwiches on the plate alongside the heart-shaped pancakes! I thought for a second before deciding to put my weirdly shaped waffle on the plate as well. It took me so long to make it and I am proud it came out so well unlike the other ones that weren’t cooked all the way.To finish it off I decided to add the rolled omelet that I added a smiley face to. I couldn’t keep the smile off my face when I was done with everything for my mommy. I couldn’t help but picture he
I felt like Merrill became even strange after our time in the forest together. We had to leave early since he was bitten by a snake, but he became clingy. It was like he was another Eli and for some reason, that seemed to upset Eli a lot.But I was too focus on other stuff to really try to understand why he was upset with that. It feels like my past life keeps merging with my current life. I would see things from my past life but they would quickly disappear once I look at them again. It feels like I am in a nightmare that is slowly becoming a part of my reality. I feel like I am going crazy but I don’t know what to do.I am scared… What if I can’t tell the difference between my past life and this life. I know I have to remember my past fully to get over it but I don’t want to feel the pain again. It feels like I
It has been a while since the moment happened between me and Erik. We are at a standstill with each other, it's was not hate and it is was not love either. He doesn’t look at me with scared eyes anymore but I can’t understand the look in his eyes anymore when I catch him looking at me.I don’t want to understand it, I don’t care about how he thinks about me anymore. That a lie, you care. Why do you care still? So pathetic, you make me feel sick. Fucking useless piece of shit…I am also dealing with the angry voice more often. The other two often show up but for some reason, the angry voice keeps showing up more often. It is often hard to tell the difference between my thoughts and their voice. What if one day I am no longer able to tell the difference anymore… I don’t want to t
I was pretty irritated for a few days since the pain from my cramps just wanted to screw me over. Drucilla gave me something for my period so it wouldn’t get in my way as I was training. It did help me not notice I was bleeding from below but it didn’t help me ignore that pain that would appear out of nowhere.This didn’t really help me out when I was cutting my bangs with shaky hands since I didn’t trust myself with the scissors I was using. When I went to cut both of my long bangs a painful cramp appeared out of nowhere and it caused me to cut bangs a bit awkwardly. When I went to fix it another cramp appeared out of nowhere and my bangs became rather short. I decided it was time for me to stop before I stop having bangs.I mean my hair won’t get in the way of training but it feels so weird to have short h
I was breathing heavily as I hid away in a hole in a tree and I could hear the scream of Eli as he was caught. I was covered in sweat and I felt so dirty. My hair wasn’t doing perfect either seeing as I am pretty sure there were leaves and twigs currently in it.“Let see… My precious babies manage to catch one of you. I wonder who they will catch next~?” Drucilla sounded way too cheerful as her voice echoed in the forest we were currently in. I really didn’t understand why the first day of training was us basically running and hiding away from her pack of wolves, it didn’t make sense!How did I go from reading books in the library about my mom's home country with Colton to hiding away from a bunch of wolves and my weird aunt? This doesn’t make sense at all! Shouldn’t we just slowly d