Eli became even clinger after my ‘birthday party’. It is weird to have him always hugging my arm, hugging my waist, and just hugging all over. Is he trying to do something? Also, I am not liking that intense look in his eyes whenever he thinks I am not looking at him.
He would always invite me over to his home so that I could watch him dress up in his clothing. He would even make me choose what he should wear telling me, “I want to dress in a way that you enjoy. Your opinion matters to me after all.”
It didn’t help that he blushed when he said that to me. I don’t know what is happening to him at all. I mean as long as he isn’t trying to mess with me I will, unfortunately, allow this to continue but I am going to figure out a way for him not to always be in my personal space. It gets uncomfortable if he is always close to me.
After my ‘birthday party’ passed and I became eleven I was invited to countless tea parties that I didn’t have a choice in refusing since my ‘father’ already decided for me. I met with countless other young girls who were my age.
During one of the tea parties I was at I met Aurelia's future group of followers again. They ended up getting drawn to me and we became ‘friends’. They would often visit me and tell me stuff they heard from their parents in secret. It was useful getting information like this without anyone knowing.
I also got closer to the follower who caused my death in one route because of her love. I decided if I didn’t want that to happen again I needed her to be taken… So I decided that she should get engaged.
It was rather easy to do. The parents just happen to want to have a close relationship with a family and I just happen to find one who was willing to do that. They also just happen to meet each other during a small get together for other nobles. Now she is engaged to get married after school.
I know I shouldn't be using my magic in such a way but I am planning for my future. I can’t have anything going wrong. I need everything going perfectly. I need to be smarter than everyone. Gifted with my magic. So powerful that no one can lay their hands on me.
I was at a social gathering that my ‘father’ decided to take me to instead of my ‘brother’ since he noticed how “well-behaved” I have been acting during these months and didn’t have to worry about getting embarrassed by me.
Eli was also at this gathering wearing a light blue dress that puffy at the end of it and had heart patterns all over it. His hair was in a high ponytail that was held up by a light blue bow. I didn’t understand why someone who could use fire magic dress in all blue. I assume he would like red.
“Hey, Hey! Aurelia, do I look pretty today? I dress like this with you in mind.” Eli gave me a shy look as he asked me this. I looked at him and just gave an indifferent approval noise. Eli let out a happy giggle and hugged my arm happily.
“I think you look so nice in your clothing today! It makes you look so mysterious and handsome.” Eli was looking at me with passionate eyes as he looked at the clothes I was wearing for the small gathering. I was wearing another black ruffled top and still had my magic stone ribbon around my neck. I had on neat looking black pants and my height was even taller with my heel shoes. My hair was down and out showing off my curly hair. I had some makeup on but it was just my lips and eyes.
“Thanks… Mae help me get dressed.” I felt rather pleased that Mae was happy with how I was dressing. She was more supportive than my ‘father’ who looked at my new clothing style with distaste.
As I was standing in the corner with Eli eating the food that was from the food table I saw a group of girls giggling and blushing in a direction. I look over to where they were looking and I grip onto the plate of cake I was holding tightly. I could feel my heartbeat increase slightly once I realized it was a love interest from the game.
Colton Lynn, the second love interest of the game and the route I hated the most. He was practically dressed like an asshole with his neatly pressed navy suit. His silver hair was long and in a braid that added to his boyish charm. His stern green eyes could be seen behind his frameless glasses.
I could remember all the frustration I had from doing his route in the game. Always having to suck up to him. Be submissive to him and always be on his side just because he had an inferiority complex with his other siblings. He was such a tiring route to even deal with and I don’t want to even get involved with him.
“Ah, does Aurelia want to meet Colton? I could introduce you to him but he means to people he just meets. He is a good guy! But he doesn’t hold back with what he thinks about people…” Eli told me that with a troubled expression but I noticed that his eyes darken a bit when he thought I wanted to talk to Colton.
“I have no interest in meeting him.” I didn’t know why Eli didn’t want me to meet with Colton but I didn’t care. I would rather not meet with a jerk like him anyway. I will just avoid him and the heroine in the future. Not going to even acknowledge his existence.
“Oh, okay!” Eli smiled happily when I told him that but he quickly frowned and his face grew embarrassed as he looked at me. “I need to use the bathroom…”
“You can go. I will wait for you to come back.” I was just pushing around my cake as I told Eli that, not understanding why he told me that in the first place.
“Can you please go with me? You can just wait outside the bathroom. I don’t want to be alone….” Eli's eyes grew teary-eyed as he looked up at me and I could only let out a sigh as I placed the plate of destroyed cake down on a table nearby.
I held out my arm for him to hold on and started to walk to the bathroom once he grabbed my arm. I could feel someone staring at me as I walked Eli to the bathroom but I just ignored it. Unless they are giving me a look of hatred I won’t even pay attention to it.
Once we reached the bathroom I stood outside the door and leaned against the wall with a bored expression. As I was waiting for Eli to be finished in the bathroom I heard footsteps coming towards me.
Looking up to see who was coming toward me I could feel my eyebrow twitch in irritation once I saw it was Colton. I just ignored him, assuming he was going to the bathroom as well but I got confused when he stopped in front of me and stared me down. Well, he wasn’t staring me down seeing as I was a few inches taller than him especially with the shoes I was wearing.
“...What?” I was getting annoyed after a few seconds pass of him just staring at me with a frown on his face. What did he want from me? We have never met each other before so he shouldn’t even be bothering me right now.
“So you're the one teacher been praising lately? I don’t see what so good about you. I never saw someone with such a depressed-looking face before. It is rather disgusting.” The first thing Colton said to me was a bunch of insults. I got confused then I got pissed off.
Why is this small child speaking to me like we know each other? Does he want to get me angry?
“Who are you talking about?” I didn’t want to lose my composure in front of this idiot so I just asked him who he was talking about since this conversation came out of nowhere.
“I’m talking about the person who teaches you, idiot. I don’t know what Mr. Pryor sees in a student like you? Especially with such a past of yours. Just because you are improving doesn’t erase your history.” Colton was giving me a look that was the same as my ‘father’ and my ‘brother’.
“What type of history do I have? Tell me. I am really curious about what you think about me.” I pushed myself off the wall I was against and walked toward Colton. I was looking down at him as we were close to each other.
“Your father didn’t want to see the face of the person who killed his wife and gave you a house that wasn’t even close to him. Quick to anger and always want to be acknowledged by your brother who is far suited to your family name than you. I feel sorry that your mother had to die to give birth to such a child.” Colton continued to speak down at me and I could feel my heart tighten as the feelings of the original Aurelia appeared.
Why is he talking to me like this? What did I do? I don’t want to be hated! Stop hating me! I want everyone to like me…. It hurt so much…. Why does it feel like my chest is breaking? Make it stop. Make it stop. Make it stop. Make it stop. Make it stop. Make it stop. Make it stop. Make it stop. Make it stop! Make it stop! Make it stop! Make it stop! Make it stop! Make it stop! MAKE IT STOP!
‘Who does he think he is? Talking to us like this? Just because he is a prince doesn't mean shit to us. Show him who he is messing with.’ My head was so loud as it was getting overwhelmed with the two voices that were screaming at me currently. I could feel my breathing was increasing and I feel like I could see red.
I grabbed the front of Colton's suit and lifted him off the ground and brought his face close to me. I could see his eyes widen in surprise at this and he was struggling in my grip but I didn’t let go of him. I wanted to hurt him. I wanted to make him cry. I wanted him to feel what I was feeling.
“Aurelia…? What are you doing?” I was called out of my emotional daze and I looked behind me to see a concerned Eli who just came out of the bathroom. He looked like he put on some makeup while he was in there which explains why he was taking a while in the bathroom.
I let go of Colton who fell right on his ass. He glared up at me and I glared right back at him. I never hated someone this strongly before. I never wanted to make someone suffer this badly. Even when I was bullied in my last life I never felt this much hate before.
“I will make sure I am always better than you starting today. You will never be in first place as long as I live. I will be the one who takes that seat. Don't you ever fucking think I will allow you to be better than me. I am the one who is better than you.” I spit that out to Colton who was still on the ground and started to walk away from him. I could hear Eli walking behind me quickly to catch up to me but I was too mad currently.
If Eli didn’t show up when he did I may have done something that would have been bad. But the thing is… I wouldn’t have regretted it.
I was in my house library studying and taking notes of things I didn’t understand so I could ask my tutor to explain it to me when we came at the usual time. I increased my studying time after I met that prick, Colton.I had to take a deep breath as I remembered him and made sure to get my emotions under control. I don’t want to lose to that dick. I have to keep my studying up so he will not catch up with me. I would rather bite my tongue off than lose to that stuck up dick.As I was reading through a book on the history of how magic came to be I heard the door to the library open. I didn’t bother looking up, assuming it was one of my servants here to leave me a little snack. After a few minutes of silence, I realized that the person who came into the room didn’t leave and I could feel them looking at me with intense eyes.Looking up from my book with a little b
I had a cold look on my face as I looked at my ‘father’ who was talking to a group of important-looking nobles. I was at a table with other children who were my age but none of them dare speak to me, too scared by the cold look I was giving.A cup was placed in front of me and the cold look on my face slowly went away. I look over my shoulder to see Sybil standing behind me with a professional look on his face. Even if I was pissed at my current situation I felt pleased that at least I had one person I could trust with me.I was currently at a tea party but this wasn’t just any tea party, it was a tea party for children my age to hopefully get engaged to someone from an important family. When my ‘father’ visited me one day and told me I was invited to one I felt like I was going to lose control of my magic due to how angry I felt.He is already power
It seems luck was not on my side when Merrill decided to ask his parents if he could visit me once a month and stay at my home for a week. I really wanted to refuse but my ‘father’ ignored what I wanted and told me to simply behave nicely.I hated that no matter how harsh and cold I was to Merrill he kept coming back for more and waiting for me to say something else to him. He was simply a person who couldn’t be dealt with by using harsh words. I never thought I would actually prefer Eli over the other two troublesome love interests.Eli and Merrill seem to have a really tense relationship as well, from what I could see from their interactions with each other. Sybil and him didn’t get along either. I really didn’t know why they didn’t like him but it really wasn’t something I would worry about.I was having a lesson with my tutor one day
I was getting ready in my room as I was heading over to my ‘ father’s' home to eat dinner with him there. It seemed like our relationship was getting ‘closer’ and he wanted to show his improved opinion of me by having me eat dinner at his house.I didn’t feel honored by this at all. Just made me feel like he was telling me I should be thankful that I can be in his grace. I hated this man and one day I wish I could become higher than him in status. Not through marrying someone powerful but with my own skill.I let out a sigh as I realized it would be a long process for me to reach that goal of mine. Even if I see him as a piece of shit this ‘father’ of mine is someone who earned his status in the world. He is ruthless in his deals and doesn’t let useless emotions affect his business deals.I looked at myself in the mirror and reached up
Ever since I decided to limit my contact with my ‘family members’ I felt a bit more at ease with myself. I don’t know why but it felt like a weight was off my shoulders and Sybil told me my eyes looked brighter and that “You look even more beautiful, Lady Aurelia!”.I decided to ignore what he said and focus on my studies. My tutor, whose name that I finally learned was Hale, told me that I was going to start working on lessons that are for people who are older than me because I was progressing rather fast in my lessons.I felt an odd sense of pride as I thought about Colton's angry expression once he learned this. As long as he keeps being angry with being behind me then I feel like I am doing pretty well in my studies but I can be doing even better. I have to get past my ‘brother’ in his studies then I will feel like I am actually at the top.But something tha
I felt an odd sense of happiness after I found the secret room of my mother. I would always be sneaking off when I had spare time to her secret room and clean it up a bit. I didn’t ask anyone in the house if this used to be the home of my mother since it would bring up questions about me knowing that.Mae also had been a bit more affectionate with me after I told her I loved her. I found it embarrassing but I enjoyed this close relationship between us. It felt like me and Mae were a family. I told Sybil that and when I mentioned that I sort of saw him as an older brother he got upset for a while and was mumbling to himself for a few days. I didn’t bother to ask him what was wrong since it wasn’t getting in the way of his work.During a quiet day in my home where I was looking through my black book, Mae knocked on my door before coming in with a letter in her hand. Taking the letter from her I saw it was from my ‘
I woke up at a table that had a book on it. My head felt foggy as I tried to figure out where I am. The last thing I remember was getting pulled into a dark space and being stared down by familiar black eyes.“You are finally awake, ▇▇▇▇▇. I was getting worried that you died in your sleep. It wouldn’t be the first time that this happened.” A heard a familiar woman's voice and when I looked in front of me I saw the familiar scribble figure with black eyes. She was sitting at the table with me and had a lazy posture.I realized she wasn’t alone at the table, I saw the two different Aurelia also sitting at the table with the scribble out figure. Their expressions were blank as they looked at me with no emotion. I couldn’t understand what was happening or where I was.“W...Where is this place?” The place I was in was completely black, I couldn’t see anyth
The day I met Gia was the day my black and white days finally gained some life. She was a stranger from a place no one knew. She didn’t seem to care about what people thought about her. Always speaking her mind with such confidence that I couldn’t help but seek her out with my eyes.It was so strange that someone of the same sex made me feel like this and it scared me so much. What did this mean and was it good? Since I was a child and rather stupid I did join other people who were messing with her but my heart wasn’t in it. Even though I was one of the people who were messing with her, I wasn’t hated by her and she could see that I didn’t even want to bully her.We ended up having a secret friendship with each other, it was like she was mine alone and I just loved that. I wanted to change myself so I could be a better friend to her. I started to pick out a path that my family disapproves of and it was scary. Yet sh
Do you know how it feels to wake up from a deep sleep? Like a sleep that seems like it wasn’t that long but your body is stiff and you are thirsty. And you just need to brush your teeth because it is not a good feeling at the moment.I was currently dealing with that and it was strange. My body felt well rested but at the same time, it felt super sore. I was having a hard time understanding what time it was, where I am, or the meaning of everything in the world. I could feel something wet on my face and I just knew it was drool, gross.Before I could even handle that, I felt myself getting tackled. I was not expecting it and I could feel all the air leaving my lungs. I was confused and still half asleep. Someone was talking but all I could hear was just a bunch of mumbles. I could hear them but the words didn’t make sen
I didn’t know how I was going to get back to where my body was. I was in a space I didn’t know how I got into so it was hard leaving this space. Even though it was bright and covered in daisies, I couldn’t stay here any longer.I am pretty sure this was a place that was supposed to consume me in all my negative emotions but I managed to kind of handle them. There is still some stuff I need to deal with but not right now.‘The creature that is made up of the souls of all the dead dark magic users probably have my body close to them. It would make sense since they are trying to make me join the other souls as well…’ I was struggling to figure out how I could get out of this place I was in when I felt something hit the
I am Aurelia Giliam, I am hated by my family and I crave to feel any type of love. I am stuck in an endless cycle of trying to get the love of people who I know will never give me it. I am bitter, I am angry. I hate this. I am Alina. I don’t have a last name. My mommy family doesn’t want me to have their surname and I hate saying my father's last name as well. I felt love from my mommy, that love of her was so warm and so pure. I wanted to experience that love again so I kept my heart open… Until I reached a point where my heart was broken to a point I couldn’t fix it anymore. I met a boy with a kind smile and love for me but… I pushed him away. I lost him. I lost my mommy. It hurts so much. I am so lonely. My role in this world was the villainess, I was made to suffer so other people could fall in love. Even if I try to change my fate it wouldn’t e
‘Please don’t! Give me back my child! Kill me instead! I am begging you!’ I could hear a voice of a woman calling out all around me. She was crying and it just made me feel so uncomfortable, I didn’t like hearing that at all. Crying reminded me of my mommy… ‘I don’t want to die! Please don’t kill me! Why are you doing this?!’ I am hearing a different voice this time, it sounds like a man who seems very fearful. I wonder who he is calling out to? ‘I hate you! I hate all of you! I will make everyone pay for this! Do you think I am a monster? I will show you a REAL MONSTER!’ I can’t tell if the per
I am humming to myself as I stand on a stepping stool. My hands are so sticky but I am almost done with the sandwich for my mommy. It took me forever but I finally managed to cut them into heart shapes! There were a few close calls with the knife but I didn’t get hurt at all! Mommy will be so proud of me.I placed my heart-shaped sandwiches on the plate alongside the heart-shaped pancakes! I thought for a second before deciding to put my weirdly shaped waffle on the plate as well. It took me so long to make it and I am proud it came out so well unlike the other ones that weren’t cooked all the way.To finish it off I decided to add the rolled omelet that I added a smiley face to. I couldn’t keep the smile off my face when I was done with everything for my mommy. I couldn’t help but picture he
I felt like Merrill became even strange after our time in the forest together. We had to leave early since he was bitten by a snake, but he became clingy. It was like he was another Eli and for some reason, that seemed to upset Eli a lot.But I was too focus on other stuff to really try to understand why he was upset with that. It feels like my past life keeps merging with my current life. I would see things from my past life but they would quickly disappear once I look at them again. It feels like I am in a nightmare that is slowly becoming a part of my reality. I feel like I am going crazy but I don’t know what to do.I am scared… What if I can’t tell the difference between my past life and this life. I know I have to remember my past fully to get over it but I don’t want to feel the pain again. It feels like I
It has been a while since the moment happened between me and Erik. We are at a standstill with each other, it's was not hate and it is was not love either. He doesn’t look at me with scared eyes anymore but I can’t understand the look in his eyes anymore when I catch him looking at me.I don’t want to understand it, I don’t care about how he thinks about me anymore. That a lie, you care. Why do you care still? So pathetic, you make me feel sick. Fucking useless piece of shit…I am also dealing with the angry voice more often. The other two often show up but for some reason, the angry voice keeps showing up more often. It is often hard to tell the difference between my thoughts and their voice. What if one day I am no longer able to tell the difference anymore… I don’t want to t
I was pretty irritated for a few days since the pain from my cramps just wanted to screw me over. Drucilla gave me something for my period so it wouldn’t get in my way as I was training. It did help me not notice I was bleeding from below but it didn’t help me ignore that pain that would appear out of nowhere.This didn’t really help me out when I was cutting my bangs with shaky hands since I didn’t trust myself with the scissors I was using. When I went to cut both of my long bangs a painful cramp appeared out of nowhere and it caused me to cut bangs a bit awkwardly. When I went to fix it another cramp appeared out of nowhere and my bangs became rather short. I decided it was time for me to stop before I stop having bangs.I mean my hair won’t get in the way of training but it feels so weird to have short h
I was breathing heavily as I hid away in a hole in a tree and I could hear the scream of Eli as he was caught. I was covered in sweat and I felt so dirty. My hair wasn’t doing perfect either seeing as I am pretty sure there were leaves and twigs currently in it.“Let see… My precious babies manage to catch one of you. I wonder who they will catch next~?” Drucilla sounded way too cheerful as her voice echoed in the forest we were currently in. I really didn’t understand why the first day of training was us basically running and hiding away from her pack of wolves, it didn’t make sense!How did I go from reading books in the library about my mom's home country with Colton to hiding away from a bunch of wolves and my weird aunt? This doesn’t make sense at all! Shouldn’t we just slowly d